Shepherding Our Child's Heart
Parenting God's Way • Sermon • Submitted
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· 120 viewsWhat is in our hearts comes out in our speech and actions. Our speech and actions produce fruit in our lives and others, according to the nature of the seed. We must understand the role of the heart in our child's behavior and direction in life, and act as good shepherds gaurding and diagnosing what is going in and out of their hearts. We mus mange the influences that are shaping our child's heart, and therefore their present and future.
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The Way of a Shepherd
The Way of a Shepherd
Let me overview a biblical vision for the parenting task. The parenting task is multifaceted. It involves being a kind authority, shepherding your children to understand themselves in God’s world, and keeping the gospel in clear view so your children can internalize the good news and someday live in mutuality with you ; people under God.
p. xix
Parents who are “benevolent despots’” do not usually find children racing to leave home. Children rarely run from a home where their needs are met. Who would want to walk out on a relationship in which he feels loved and respected? What child would run from someone who understands him, understands God and his ways, understands the world and how it works, and is committed helping him be successful?
My observation after thirty-five years of school administration, renting, pastoral work, and counseling is that children generally do not resist authority that is truly kind and selfless.
p. xx
This shepherding process is a richer interaction than telling your child what to do and think. It involves investing your life in your child in open and honest communication that unfolds the meaning and purpose of life. It is not simply direction, but direction in which there is self-disclosure and sharing. Values and spiritual vitality are not simply taught, but caught.
says, “He who walks with the wise becomes rise.” As a wise parent your objective is not simply to discuss, but to demonstrate the freshness and vitality of life lived in integrity toward God and your family. Parenting is shepherding the hearts of your children in the ways of God’s wisdom.
p. xxi
Let’s Accept the Shepherd’s Role
1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. 3 He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever.
“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep. But a hireling, he who is not the shepherd, one who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees; and the wolf catches the sheep and scatters them. The hireling flees because he is a hireling and does not care about the sheep. I am the good shepherd; and I know My sheep, and am known by My own. As the Father knows Me, even so I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep. And other sheep I have which are not of this fold; them also I must bring, and they will hear My voice; and there will be one flock and one shepherd.
11 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep. 12 But a hireling, he who is not the shepherd, one who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees; and the wolf catches the sheep and scatters them. 13 The hireling flees because he is a hireling and does not care about the sheep. 14 I am the good shepherd; and I know My sheep, and am known by My own. 15 As the Father knows Me, even so I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep.
2 But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep.
Encyclopedia of 7700 Illustrations 1957 The Shepherd and Flock
In our country we do not realize the intimacy of a shepherd with his flock as they do in Syria and in parts of Southern Europe. It was my daily delight every day for many weeks and a dozen times a day, to watch a shepherd who had this almost incredibly close communion with his flock. Many times have I accompanied him through the green pastures and by the stream. If my shepherd wished to lead his sheep from one pasture to another, he went before them, and he was usually singing.
He led them with a song or with a sweet, low, wooing whistle like the call of a bird, and the sheep raised their heads from the herbage, looked at their guardian and guide, and followed on. I have heard his song and his low birdcall by the watercourse, and have seen the sheep follow his course over the rocky boulders to the still waters, where they have been refreshed. At noon he would sit down in a place of shadows, and all his flock crowded around him for rest. At night, when the darkness was falling, he gathered them into the fold.
We must realize an intimacy like this if we wish to understand the shepherd imagery of the Old Book. The communion is so intimate that the shepherd knows if one of his sheep is missing.
—J. H. Jowett
Dictionary of Bible Themes 7784 shepherd
shepherd
The work of a shepherd was important and responsible in the rural world of ancient Palestine. Since it involved leading, protecting and feeding a flock, it is seen as a metaphor for the task of leadership. Scripture declares that God is the Shepherd of his people.
A shepherd provides: ()
1. Sustenance
2. Peace
3. Rest
4. Protection & Comfort
5. Health
6. Direction
7. Service & Honor
The Heart: Life’s Quality Control Center (Prov. 4:23)
The Heart: Life’s Quality Control Center (Prov. 4:23)
Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life.
Guard your heart above all else,
for it determines the course of your life.
Keep vigilant watch over your heart;
that’s where life starts.
A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.
So He said to them, “Are you thus without understanding also? Do you not perceive that whatever enters a man from outside cannot defile him, because it does not enter his heart but his stomach, and is eliminated, thus purifying all foods?” And He said, “What comes out of a man, that defiles a man. For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within and defile a man.”
Quality and Condition of our life is determined by our actions/behavior. ()
Behavior (speech, actions, and inaction) is determined by what is in the heart. ()
We must address the behavior by addressing the heart. ()
This understanding is foundational and essential. It will help guide our decisions and attitudes in Parenting God’s Way.
A change in behavior that does not stem from a change in heart not commendable; it is condemnable. Is it not the hypocrisy that Jesus condemned in the Pharisees? In , Jesus denounces Pharisees who have honored him with their lips while their hearts were far from him. Jesus censures them as people who wash outside of the cup while the inside is still unclean. Yet this is what we often do in childrearing. We demand changed behavior and never address the heart that drives the behavior. p. 4
We must require proper behavior, but we must also help our child not only know, but produce proper behavior.
Reminder: Formulas don’t change hearts. Grace changes hearts. Grace for grace. If we want to see our child change and/or grow in wisdom and grace, we must make sure we are growing in wisdom and grace.
Let’s take a familiar example from any home where there are two or more children. The children are playing and a fight breaks over a particular toy. The classic response is “Who had it first?” is an issue of justice. Justice operates in the favor of the child who was the quicker draw in getting the toy. If we look at this situation in terms of the heart, the issues change.
Now you have two offenders. Both children are displaying a hardness of heart toward the other. Both are being selfish. Both children are saying, “I don’t care about you or your happiness. I am only concerned about myself. I want this toy. My happiness depends on possessing it. I will have it and be happy regardless o£ what that means to you.” p. 5
Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
phili 2 1-4
The rest of our study is about engaging our children in such a way that we are not just reproving and chastising, but instilling and imparting godly desires and character with authority and sacrificial love and discipline.
; ;
The rest of our study is about engaging our children in such a way that we are not just reproving and chastising, but instilling and imparting godly desires and character with authority and sacrificial love and discipline.
The rest of our study is about engaging our children in such a way that we are not just reproving and chastising, but instilling and imparting godly desires and character with authority and sacrificial love and discipline.
This book will address all the facets of childrearing. We will look at a biblical view of the parenting task. We will examine child development. We will focus on parenting goals, We will think through training methods. In all these topics the core issue will be shepherding the heart.
I am not offering simple, clever methodology here. I am not promoting a new three-step plan for trouble-free children. I am not presenting a simple way to meet their needs so you can get on with your life. I am, however willing to explore with you fresh ways of pursuing the training task God has given you. I offer these things as one who is not new to the task, but who hasn’t grown cynical about parenting. I am more excited about this job than ever. I am full of hope and certain that God can enable us to raise from our homes a holy seed for the church. p. 6-7
Shaping Influences for Godward Orientation (the Fear of the Lord)
Shaping Influences for Godward Orientation (the Fear of the Lord)
What are some of the things that influence and shape our children? 1. Structure of Family Life 2. Family Values 3. Family Roles 4. Family Response to Failure 5. Family History 6. Family Conflict Resolution 7. “Worship’s witness” 8. Friends 9. Media
Worship’s Witness & Friends (Hebrews 6:11-12)
As shepherds of our child’s heart we must put them in situations where a Biblical world view and the living faith of others is witnessed and observed.
One generation shall praise Your works to another,
And shall declare Your mighty acts.
having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!
But God be thanked that though you were slaves of sin, yet you obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine to which you were delivered.
And we desire that each one of you show the same diligence to the full assurance of hope until the end, that you do not become sluggish, but imitate those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.
Make no friendship with an angry man,
And with a furious man do not go,
Lest you learn his ways
And set a snare for your soul.
Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.”
prov 22
He who walks with wise men will be wise,
But the companion of fools will be destroyed.
Media ()
I will set nothing wicked before my eyes;
I hate the work of those who fall away;
It shall not cling to me.
There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh, that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.
Garbage in- garbage out…Neutrality in- _________?