June 25, 2017 AM

Play do we're going to just get right into the message. Angela and I we've been in in conversation a lot really throughout our ministry about the subject. We're going to talk with you today. We're going to talk about marriage. Yeah, I know one of the challenges as we began to work through. What we were going to preach on today is that we can preach a whole year worth of messages on this one subject of marriage. And so we don't want to give the impression that we are going to this is an all-inclusive everything you need to know about marriage, but I will tell you that our heart is full about this subject. It just is It is because our desire as as a husband and wife is that we want to have a good Godly marriage. And for most people a good Godly marriage is hard work. Now some of you out there may may have experience just the easy Road when it comes to marriage. But I think I think most of us in this room. There have been times marriage has been a significant challenge. So, how do we deal with this subject? An end just add to that is our culture has so redefined this holy Institution. That if we are not careful, we are going to bring God's judgment upon us for how we treated this that God created between a man and a woman. And so I may be a little and Aunt Angela and I may be a little heavy today over the next few minutes and it's not that we want to break anybody through the calls. I don't want you to feel any kind of that. We're just piling on the the the you no judgement and being critical. But from our experience both personally and in our ministry. We know that there's a lot of challenges to this now. We're going to focus basically on one scripture this morning one verse. And as we look at that we're going to we're going to try to understand. What is God calling us to do when it comes to this verse of scripture is found in Hebrews. And so would you would you read that for us?

Give honor to marriage and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and Those who commit adultery.

When we look at that phrase, I want to look at those first four words of the New Living Translation of scripture give honor to marriage.

When when when the writer of Hebrews wrote that he's not just telling the married couple give honor to marriage. He's telling every single person give honor to marriage. It is to be protected. It is to be it is be cared for it is to be care for tender lake with deep and utter respect.

Did you know what we're finding today?

We're finding that this ring. Doesn't mean much.

And I think if we're not careful. It will have such a horrifying impact on the American church. If we do not treat marriage as God intended it to be treated. I will also tell you that we need to be careful. Our culture is trying to Define and redefine everything so that that we as a culture can feel good about ourselves as we Embrace such sin and such activity that displeases God, but I will tell you it will not bring any lasting Joy or happiness or good pleasure. It will bring defeat because anything that fall short of God's word will bring the feet and discouragement and destruction and Division. And do we have the church as a body of Jesus Christ feel the full weight of responsibility when the scripture says that we are to give honor. Honor to this institution call marriage, see if we don't. If we don't have insurance if we don't.

I will tell you we throw a hindrance. What God is going to do and wants to do in our life? Are people not getting saved why are people not getting healed? Why are people not getting delivered? I will tell you one of the reasons is that we've embraced a life of sin and we weave weave jettison those things that

there are consequences to her actions.

So the first thing That we need to do and in fact Angela and I were talking about this. How do we honor marriage? How do we honor it? You know the first thing we need to do. We need to honor.

our vows

with digilens

Honor or bowels with the joints? And friends, let me just give you a clue on how we're going to unpack that principle right there. It's not just for the married couple to honor vows with the chihuahuas.

in fact a complete. Yes two days ago. I was at the Royal Ranger camp. I was weaving at the Frontier Village. And as I'm leaving on my rigid heddle Loom dressed in my frontier finery.

Man came over man, probably my age and he struck up a conversation and and usually when men talk to one another the question, what do you do for a living comes up? And I know anytime I tell people what I actually do for a living s*** changes the conversation completely.

But another part of God's word says don't lie, so I'm not going to lie.

I could say I'm a theologist super that gets me. But I said I'm a pastor of a church. Oh where received you said. I live near you. Used to go to Oak Creek. Now, he goes to another church an Assembly of God Church know the pastor one of the sweetest Pastor you can imagine and he said I have a meeting with him this week cuz I want to I want to quit my marriage.

If you want to quit your marriage. Yeah, I know I try to try to try. I said was the pastor going to say he says he's going to say don't quit your marriage. But I want to quit it. Be my wife. We just don't get along with one another. I'm just listening to that and I'm just a Lord help us.

But it's not just as parent on the or as husband and wife. It's the people outside of marriage that sometimes cause the most problems would you think in?

Something that we've been doing with our kids is a devotional and part of that devotional deals with marriage. And we're very honest and open with our kids about marriage because we're confident that one of these days. They're all going to be married and have a Home of Their Own not living with their parents anymore.

And so we're very open and honest with them affection. We do not hide that from our kids. We want them to know a healthy marriage has a faction Roy. It's a good thing to sit there with your arm around Mary Jane and give her a squeeze. That's a good thing for kids to see and that kiss aren't yes, that's a good thing and so as we've been sharing with our children about marriage and the health of relationships between husband and wife something that really stood out to my husband and I both that we felt was very fitting for today's. Subject is this every marriage is a duet in need of great backup singers.

It's a duet. It's two people becoming one God's word tells us in Genesis chapter 2 verse 24 there for a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one Flash. and as we see marriages we should be the biggest backup singers for every marriage that's out there encouraging the health of those marriages that we see and oftentimes especially in our culture and society and it's not just staying in the culture and society that we live in but we see it also coming and bleeding inside of the church where

We can actually help tear down a marriage by not honoring the marriage vows that couples have taken before God. answer their spouse and what do I mean by that one God's word says that husband and wife are two become one. They are to live a life of unity. So often we see within marriages to people not being one, but two people living their own separate lives doing their own thing that's not honoring the unity that God has called a married couple to K. So we need to honor the unity and those of us that are outside of other marital relationships. We need to honor those bells taken. Is it okay if I'm just open and blunt.

For the most part I've been pretty.

Not nice. Not laid-back, but gentle but I'm going to get on the edge of my chair. My kids know when I get on the edge of my chair. Something's coming.

I just feel that I need to say this.

If there is a man who is married.

Women he is off-limits to you. map

now if there is a woman who is married men, she is off-limits to you.

Now I I want to even say because we live in a high-tech Society K that includes texting. It is not appropriate to text a married person. Can I just be that bold in an honest with you? It is not appropriate. There is nothing. Holy about that action. You can if you're not careful. What happens is you can run into starting to develop emotional attachments absolute that. Been because we are so emotionally driven today. Okay that we could quickly begin to rationalize this emotion as okay. It is not. Okay. It isn't as a pastor. I got to be incredibly careful. Okay, every conversation. I I I have Angela and I we talk to it. Angela is my chief accountability partner. Okay, when I have to counsel a Woman by myself, I will make certain that the secretary or Angela is is Right close by we keep the door door a little bit of a jar so that there is no question because I will tell you no one in this room is above developing an emotional attachment that dishonors God and dishonors marriage and we have to be absolutely Vigilant. We see it too many times where these emotional attachments come together and it blows up in our face. In fact that happened in Granite City hit this and that even if it's not just a personal text to somebody phone calls not appropriate even on Facebook. We need to be careful who you were talking to people of the opposite sex because it can be taking a whole different way and you know things can happen even over face.

Okay, I went we were Pastors in Granite City night and wasn't Facebook at that time. It was called Myspace. Yes, but so don't answer your phone. I'm on the edge of my chair to because

as a pet I'm getting gray hair now and you're all part of that is because what happened like what happened Brent said we had we had a worship team and we have a young lady on the worship team. Her name started with the letter e that's all I'm going to say is just eat. Okay, and I was trying to keep me on the straight and narrow because I get really upset over this. Okay, and she for some reason had an effectuation with married men. We didn't know it at the time, but when we began to see some issues of these emotional attachment starting to happen, we week. And gear we started talking with people involved. In fact just a little bit of one of your conversations with e

One day I noticed that another member of the worship team. The countenance was just wrong and I commented to my husband. Look at the countenance. There is something spiritually wrong and I believe in my spirit there is interaction with another woman. He was a married man had two little girls all involved in the church. and

and we found out that yes, this was true. There was interaction and it was between him and this young woman also on the worship team. And so I pulled this young woman a side and and I shared with her you understand. He is married. Yes, but he's my very good friend and I explain to her. You know what he doesn't get to be your very good friend. He is his wife's very good friend and he is off-limits to you. You cannot go places with him. You cannot meet with him. You cannot have phone conversations with him. He is off-limits to you. She however had no.

She was she was not going to honor their marriage and the vows that they took before God and before others. She had absolutely no interest in honoring she

I got a phone call from the man's wife. She said pastor he's leaving. Okay, I convinced him. He had such a wonderful voice. He needs to move. I'm not kidding. You move to Nashville, Tennessee and get a you're going to the music. This is I mean, this is a silliest thing I've ever heard. I mean and so I hung up the phone now, you know, I am not a confrontational kind of person. I probably most confrontational. Okay, and so I I go over to the house. I am not kidding you the wife is barricading the door so we couldn't leave the house. I go up to the house. I tell Jay that was his name first letter of his name Jake get into my van. We're going to have a conversation. I'm not confrontational. But I'm also a not a person that likes long conversations. Okay, but we had A3 hour conversation. I'm sending Jay. What in the world are you thinking? What are you literally said what planet are you on that? You are going to walk out on your lovely wife and your two little girls. Is a music career? I said you won't get your foot in the door of any producer anybody you may have a good son singing voice for for Tri-City Assembly of God, but not out here in the real world. And what are you thinking?

And it was like the light came on. What am I thinking? And so me and the board worked with j. And we prayed with you and his wife Angela worked with the wife. And God was so gracious that Couples married still today kid. God is gracious. Okay. But one of the things that they began to do though was to act in unison. They became a unit again, and we're not following after separate dreams and thoughts and ideas, but they were working together for their marriage.

If you're not doing too much, there's this enemies called Satan and and the one thing he wants to do. He's an expert at destroying marriages expert and if we are not careful. That's exactly what he'll try to do. But did you know he didn't stop there? Okay, unbeknownst to me. He'd she began a relationship as a friendship. With the married youth pastor of my church.

Kate Angela once again brought her into the office at what are you doing? What are you thinking? And you know what? She responded to my wife with it's none of your business.

I mean we were dealing with evil now, okay? We were dealing with something that I I'm going to say. It was demonic. An end but but by the time we found out about it. D That's the youth pastors name. Who had one of the most humblest lovely wives imaginable?

I go to church on a Sunday morning. Where is the heat supposed to be on the on the worship team is a youth pastor is also on the worship team. And his best friend said while he's no longer coming here. That's how I found out.

And then the rumor mill started. You know what? The rumor was D didn't I wasn't treating D with respect so he left the church.

What he didn't tell everybody was he left his wife too and he moved in with e. Okay, and I mean people were mad at me, but they didn't talk to me. You don't listen first thing when they're mad at the pastor. They don't tell the pastor. They tell everybody else. And you know how the congregation found out about it. the community knew what was going on and they started hearing from the community that he was shacking up with b and and so now they're there was a parade in my office of apologies.

But I'll tell you what. what that showed me is as pastors and as a church, we got to be vigilant we just do You say though that can't happen to me. Oh, yes, it will if you're not Vigilant because the enemy he's out to bring destruction. So how how how the one couple that saved their marriage they they were accountable to one another they were unified with one another. And that's that's innn and that was the direct God began to to lead them into Tamara to help what's another way of which we can honor marriage?

Established their friendship. Once again, they became best friends. My husband and I are each other's best friends. We're not just saying that because we're pastors and that's what a password both. Say we are. We are. I tell her everything she tells me everything very very careful to hold each other accountable because even in that confidentiality thing if we're not careful relationships emotions can start developing. So we're very very we have fun with one another and that leads us to another thought that we have and that is to honor marriage with joy.

A lot of sitcoms today and movies and Society presents marriage as a burden. What's interesting is if you are single right we talked about that a few weeks ago. If you are single that's a bad place to be marriage is what you want to have but then society says but when you're married man, you are so tied down and look at the single people. They are having so much fun and freedom, right? So there's our society teaching two different things. What should tell us something that's not our go to write Society is not our go-to. It's not our measuring Rod God's word is and God's word is very clear on honoring our marriage vows with joy Ephesians. 525 through 27 says for husbands. This means love your wives just as Christ loved the church he gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean Washed by the cleansing of God's word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious Church Without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish instead. She will be holy and without fault Ecclesiastes. 9:9 says enjoy life with the wife whom you love all the days of your vein life that he has given you under the sun because this is your portion in life and in your toil at which you to boil Under the Sun God's word tells us to in life together. We don't have to go outside of the marriage to find enjoyment and fun and joy, we have it with one another and that is one of the ways that we can honor marriage is through Joy apart from one another. Okay, in fact, we enjoy doing things together. I mean if it is a evening where we're watching a movie on television, you know, the other the other day we were watching. What was it? Not Nemo Finding Nemo Finding Dory or Finding Dory Okay, we're watching that. I wasn't really watching it. I was weaving somebody with else was reading but we were together as a family and that's the way we like it. Okay, but there's a strategic reason for this to and there's two things. One is that if I'm trying to find happiness outside of my marriage?

The dangerous I may find it. Okay, I will tell you I I I want to make certain that my joy and happiness. includes my wife because if it doesn't Then I can easily be talked into the way this world says things. And so we work hard together now. It doesn't doesn't necessarily mean we we got it. Perfect. But we're working on it. We we constantly are working on doing things together and there's some things I don't like to do that she does. And I know as a husband, you know what I just got to step up to the plate. k

but you know what I don't like to do I do not do not do not like to go shopping.

I just don't. If I'm going to go shopping, I would prefer going by myself. That's my preference because I can get in get what I want and get out as quickly as I possibly can. Okay. with Angela

Especially when clothes are involved.

Even though I think that's the most boringest thing on planet Earth. She loves to linger. view thing maybe try things on. And I stand there. The Flash says you're going to die.

Okay.

That's the flash speaking. But for Angela this is is this in the love language. That her husband making that sacrifice to be with her and not make faces. And sometimes I do sometimes the flesh really starts the the grab a whole and not have that big sigh. Or not keep looking at my watch if I had one. But I I spend time with her. You know what you know, the other thing I like to do is I like to go Frontier camping. Okay?

I'm still walking on the big boat by on that way.

the thing is we are much happier. When we are drawing Joy. in our marriage much happier There is nothing like it on planet Earth nothing. The flip side is when you're angry with one another and become bitter and become critical. Did it become stuff? Let's let's experience Joy, but there's something else here that's connected with that.

Much of the time when we are in the family room if we're playing a game together or we're having a family movie night. We have a couch and a chair and a love seat and oftentimes our children will see the two of us on that love seat together. Yes, they will see us holding hands. They will see us with an arm around the other and we do that on purpose. It's not just coincidental or accidental. It is on purpose because we are speaking even without words. We are speaking something to our children. We are speaking to our children that marriage is about being together marriage is about Unity marriage is about enjoyment marriage is about drawing strength from On another uplifting one another encouraging one another and being together. That is a normal marriage that is a normal relationship not what is portrayed through television and media, but it is speaking to them what God intends marriage to be at the lifetime of a settlement with this point. And that is we honor marriage with friendship and gentleness.

Human beings are the fragile us things on planet Earth. We get winded very easily our feelings hurt easily. And what we need to do is we need to when we we honor this institution of marriage that means as a husband and wife we are going to be friends and we're going to be gentle with our words. Okay, it's very easy to have a bad day at work and you take that out on your spouse. It is very easy for us to lose connection by just simply being roommates.

We we need to have friendship in our marriage where we value one another so we focus try to find things that we have things in common that we enjoyed talking about. We help one another we encourage one another. We're also gentle with one another even when we have a disagreement. I will tell you gentleness is is it is so soothing in helping us work things out and mmm then we displayed this to our children.

Okay, children usually want to be the center of attention don't they? They know when the Walker family they're not. You can't we love them we value them but they are not more important than our marriage K. In fact, the greatest thing we can give our children is a Godly marriage.

Now that that leads to a final thought this morning. And that is this. We honor our marriage. with Christ Jesus Christ is the center of our marriage. Usually not always but usually when there is a marriage problem, there's also Christ problems. Almost every marriage problem. I have to deal with as a pastor has a Christ problem in it. With one or both sides having a problem in their personal relationship with Jesus Christ, but all it takes is just one.

And so it is absolutely essential. I got really burden me this as as as as something that I need to really be vigilant on. And in my prayer life, I have been more and more purposeful in in in in this area of Jesus Christ the ward of my marriage. Making certain that Jesus Christ is at the center that our marriage is an act of worship to God. In what we say and what we do that this ring is not just telling me that I made a promise to God to to my wife, but it means that I made a promise to God. and that this ring signifies That I am in a covenant relationship and in that Covenant relationship with God. I also have a relationship with with my wife that is never meant to be broken never enough to be broken. And so that I need to to focus my life and making certain that the best thing I could give the Angela. Is that I am on fire with Christ. Okay that I am earnestly seeking the Lord's favor. That I am in God's word studying it that I am praying that I am engaged in authentic worship because when I am engaging in the disciplines that honor God those disciplines will also impact my marriage as followers of Jesus Christ. The best thing that I can do for Angela, my wife is that I deeply love Jesus and when I deeply love Jesus I begin to take on that scripture verse that Angela talked about in Ephesians about that that as as I love Angela, there's a connection with Christ loving the church and every time I am loving my wife every time I'm honoring my wife's everytime, I'm respecting this institution of marriage. I am also respecting Jesus Christ and what he is doing in my life as a member. his church and when we do this the changes everything friends

See the bottom line is this.

As a church. Is Racine Assembly of God?

one of the things that needs to be Hallmark of Who We Are Is we deeply honor marriage? We're not going to do anything that will harm marriage. I look at this very carefully. In fact to the point where I may get somebody upset on time, you know from time to time. I look and see how involve somebody's in the church. If there are more involved in the church, then then they are in their relationship with their spouse. I will start seeing what things did they need to let go up here so that they can make certain that they are focused on this phone too many times. We have put the church ahead of our marriage and it is disastrous. You said pastor? What are you saying? We need all kinds of workers. We need all kinds of ministry leaders and everything like that. But if you do not have a strong marriage with an inn in price if you have this function in your marriage, you're going to have this function in your ministry. Because I will tell you what's remind ourselves of this truth. It is God who builds the church not us. If we give the church our best meaning that we have a good marriage, we have solid relationships with our family. I will tell you God will anoint your ministry and what you think the time that you put in your Ministries * because when God said that he will bless you don't do anything that will harm your marriage. Don't do anything that will harm. That's what you need to do. Alyssa would you come to the keyboard?

This is the most this is one of the most important practical theological messages we can give.

our marriage needs to be our priority

It needs we need to protect it with a potential Vengeance Vigilant. We need to we need to honor our marriage with unity.

Angela and I are one one flash. We need to honor our marriage with joy. with friendship in gentleness And we need to honor our marriage with Christ.

because when we have a god-honoring marriage You can take a lot from this world. You can stand tall.

Even when? It seems like the world is crashing around you. I can know that my number one prayer partner is the lady sitting next to me. That will pray and earnestly seeking and we will support one another.

The Bible says something like this man who finds? A good wife finds a good thing. I know my wife's not the same, but I've been blessed. I really have. But it takes a lot of work. The enemy is always out there the enemies always out there.

food stand

You know wait.

We're always very careful about what people think of us. Did you know in this room there people that are deep?

Some of you came in this morning and you look like you just have those wonderful us marriage. But you just came in from the car where you had the most heated argument. Some of you may say you know what?

If I was okay if I felt comfortable being truthful. My marriage is hard right now.

Back sometimes I don't know what to do.

But when we don't know what to do as king Jehoshaphat in the Old Testament said our eyes upon you Lord. No, we can't tell what another person should do meaning. You know what? You can want your spouse to do such and such. and you can only encourage them or or or motivate them just to a certain point they got to make decisions too, and I know When you're in a hard marriage lot of it takes two to tango.

But here's the prayer. We need to pray Lord start the work in me. Start the work in me.

Lord search my heart

Lord help me in my marriage. Help me God to protect it with the joints. Help me. God to be unified help me. They have joy once again in my union help me Lord.

Friends and help me Lord. Christ the center of our marriage. Maybe you're here this morning and

You may have experienced divorce and you feel alone.

Something else. I want to tell you. Keep Christ the center of your heart. And you won't be all the promises. I will never leave you or forsake you I'm the father to the fatherless.

I'm the husband to the Widow.

He will never leave you he is with you always. Church Flex beef

that we're going to protect marriages in this house. We're going to we're going to Value them carefully where we're going to understand what the boundaries are where we're going. We're not going to do anything that's going to bring harm or danger to a marriage.

because when we do this God is honored Father in heaven

Or do you know in this room are those that are experiencing some great challenges in their marriage? Oh God. Lord we pray in the name of Jesus. What is broken and crushed Lord that you would bring feeling?

Good morning port and Lemay We Begin the first step by trusting in you. And relying on you. dear Jesus be the ruler of our life. Be the sustainer.

Of all Lord. We are help us God to trust you with all our heart.

Lord that you will build strong marriages in this house today.

Lord I ask this in Jesus name.

I want to invite the proteins forward if if you could quickly come.

You just a moment. We're going to dismiss and encourage all of you to to go into the gymnasium for our reception for Alyssa and for Tom, but if you have a need in this place, we want to pray for you. And believe that God is going to minister to you. And these people that have come forward they deeply love God and we'll will want to pray for you. And so if you ever need to make your wife fall forward and we're going to pray and I'm going to also pray over the food and then if once I finish praying you can conceal yourself this mess, but if you in just be kind enough to take conversations into the lobby. So the people being pretty warm in the oven be able to hear one another as they pray Lord. I pray in the name of Jesus.

Lord God that you will Minister your grace and your mercy in our life. Lord God I pray for every person in this room Lord that we will that we will lay all our hurt all our pains all our frustrations Lord all our disappointments and we will lay them at your feet. For those that need healing in their body that you will bring healing those that need encouragement Lord that you will flood their heart with. Joy Lord those that need provision Lord that you will meet their need those that need direction Lord that you will give them the next step. Lord I pray that you will Minister and every prayer prayed God that they would send your presents in your direction and answer to prayer now Lord go with us as we we continue our fellowship Lord. We ask Lord that you will bless our conversation the food Lord that we are to receive we give you. Thanks and Lord me you be glorified in our marriage is glorified in our jobs glorified in our conversations glorified and everything we say and do met you God be glorified. We give you praise in Jesus name. God bless you.