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The Wife's Role

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Introduction

The beginning of helps us to properly understand the various roles marriage:
Surprisingly, in a time when Christians have more money and more education and certainly more resources such as books, videos, counselors, and support groups to advise them, many young couples lack the most important ingredient for the success of their Christian union - the biblical understanding of their roles” (Biblical Womanhood in the Home, 118)
The beginning of helps us to properly understand the various roles marriage:
Surprisingly, in a time when Christians have more money and more education and certainly more resources such as books, videos, counselors, and support groups to advise them, many young couples lack the most important ingredient for the success of their Christian union - the biblical understanding of their roles” (Biblical Womanhood in the Home, 118)
Understand the unique way men were created:
Understand the unique way men were created:
My purpose in this essay is to demonstrate from that both male-female equality and male headship, properly defined, were instituted by God at creation and remain permanent, beneficent of human existence. Let me defined male-female equality: man and woman are equal in the sense that they bear God’s image equally. Let me also define Male headship: in the partnership of two spiritually equal human beings, man and woman, the man bears the primary responsibility to lead the partnership and a God-glorifying direction.” (recovering Biblical manhood and womanhood, 95)
Understand the unique way men were created:
My purpose in this essay is to demonstrate from that both male-female equality and male headship, properly defined, were instituted by God at creation and remain permanent, beneficent of human existence. Let me defined male-female equality: man and woman are equal in the sense that they bear God’s image equally. Let me also define Male headship: in the partnership of two spiritually equal human beings, man and woman, the man bears the primary responsibility to lead the partnership and a God-glorifying direction.” (recovering Biblical manhood and womanhood, 95)
My purpose in this essay is to demonstrate from that both male-female equality and male headship, properly defined, were instituted by God at creation and remain permanent, beneficent of human existence. Let me defined male-female equality: man and woman are equal in the sense that they bear God’s image equally. Let me also define Male headship: in the partnership of two spiritually equal human beings, man and woman, the man bears the primary responsibility to lead the partnership and a God-glorifying direction.” (recovering Biblical manhood and womanhood, 95)
at the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for, and protect women in ways appropriate to a man's differing relationship. (what's the difference? Manhood and womanhood defined according to the Bible, 22)
“at the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for, and protect women in ways appropriate to a man's differing relationship. (what's the difference? Manhood and womanhood defined according to the Bible, 22)
Understand the unique way women were created:
Understand the unique way women were created:
A popular view today is that woman's subordinate role is a result of the fall. Since God reversed the effects of the curse through Christ, some argue, he abolished differing male and female roles. Paul however, grounds women's subordinate role in the order of creation, not in the fall: (). Eve was created after Adam to be his helper she was designed to follow his lead, Live on his provisions, and find safety and his strength. Such tendencies were from that point on built into all women, but with the fall came conflict. (different by design, 141)
A popular view today is that woman's subordinate role is a result of the fall. Since God reversed the effects of the curse through Christ, some argue, he abolished differing male and female roles. Paul however, grounds women's subordinate role in the order of creation, not in the fall: (). Eve was created after Adam to be his helper she was designed to follow his lead, Live on his provisions, and find safety and his strength. Such tendencies were from that point on built into all women, but with the fall came conflict. (different by design, 141)
At the heart of mature femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive, and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate we woman's differing relationships. (what's the difference? Manhood and womanhood defined according to the Bible, 22)
At the heart of mature femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive, and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate we woman's differing relationships. (what's the difference? Manhood and womanhood defined according to the Bible, 22)
Married women can find joy and satisfaction in fulfilling their God-given role.
Married women can find joy and satisfaction in fulfilling their God-given role.
We don't look to our culture to find our feminine identity; we don't consult our feelings to discover our purpose. Everything that we are in everything we do must be rooted in God… we are are intentionally and purposefully created. We are planned in foreordained determination of an all-wise, all-powerful, and all-loving God. (Biblical womanhood in the home, 23)
We don't look to our culture to find our feminine identity; we don't consult our feelings to discover our purpose. Everything that we are in everything we do must be rooted in God… we are are intentionally and purposefully created. We are planned in foreordained determination of an all-wise, all-powerful, and all-loving God. (Biblical womanhood in the home, 23)
John 15:11 ESV
These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.

The joy of bringing glory to God by completing your husband

;
It is God himself who decrees that man's solitude is not good, and it is God himself who sets out to complete one of the central designs of creation, namely, man and woman in marriage. ‘it is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’ Don't miss that central and all-important statement: god himself will make a being perfectly suited for him - a wife. (this momentary marriage, 21)
It is God himself who decrees that man's solitude is not good, and it is God himself who sets out to complete one of the central designs of creation, namely, man and woman in marriage. ‘it is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’ Don't miss that central and all-important statement: god himself will make a being perfectly suited for him - a wife. (this momentary marriage, 21)
The honorable nature of this position: (helper suitable means ‘one who helps’)
Helper frequently describes God:
Psalm 54:4 ESV
Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life.
Psalm 30:10 ESV
Hear, O Lord, and be merciful to me! O Lord, be my helper!”
1 Samuel 7:12 ESV
Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen and called its name Ebenezer; for he said, “Till now the Lord has helped us.”
Hebrews 13:6 ESV
So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”
You display your femininity by coming alongside your husband and helping him in the task that God has given him. (Biblical womanhood in the home, 23)
You display your femininity by coming alongside your husband and helping him in the task that God has given him. (Biblical womanhood in the home, 23)
The potential delight completing a person who is not complete without you.
Completing him in companionship with each other.
Completing him in companionship with each other
Completing him in sexual relationship with each other.
Completing him in sexual relationship with each other
Completing him in the responsibilities he has to fulfill
Completing him in the responsibilities he has to fulfill.
The man needs the help; the woman needs to help. Marriage was created by God to provide a companionship in the labor of dominion. The cultural mandate, the requirement to fill and subdue the earth, is still in force, and a husband cannot fulfill this portion of the task in isolation. He needs the companion suitable for him in the work to which God has called him. To the work and must receive help from her. She is called to the work through ministering to him. He is oriented to the task, and she is oriented to him. (reforming marriage, 19)
The man needs the help; the woman needs to help. Marriage was created by God to provide a companionship in the labor of dominion. The cultural mandate, the requirement to fill and subdue the earth, is still in force, and a husband cannot fulfill this portion of the task in isolation. He needs the companion suitable for him in the work to which God has called him. To the work and must receive help from her. She is called to the work through ministering to him. He is oriented to the task, and she is oriented to him. (reforming marriage, 19)
Completing him in the parenting process.
Completing him in the parenting process
Completing him in exercising the spiritual gifts within the church.
Completing him in exercising the spiritual gifts within the church
Completing him in reaching out to the community.
Completing him and reaching out to the community

The joy of bringing glory to God by following your husbands leadership

Develop a biblical view of submission
Submission = be under the authority of; take a subordinate place (position)
1 Peter 3:1 ESV
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,
Made in gods image, men and women are also equal but different. Equal before God as persons, we have been given distinctly different roles. In the marriage relationship, man is to lead, and woman is to follow his lead. In the beginning, Eve rebelled against God, rejecting his Will regarding the forbidden tree, and then encouraged her husband to follow her lead. When Adam joined her, failing to lead his wife in godliness, they overturned the good order of creation. Ever since that day, there has been a war between the sexes. (Biblical womanhood in the home, 121)
Made in gods image, men and women are also equal but different. Equal before God as persons, we have been given distinctly different roles. In the marriage relationship, man is to lead, and woman is to follow his lead. In the beginning, Eve rebelled against God, rejecting his Will regarding the forbidden tree, and then encouraged her husband to follow her lead. When Adam joined her, failing to lead his wife in godliness, they overturned the good order of creation. Ever since that day, there has been a war between the sexes. (Biblical womanhood in the home, 121)
Submission is good because it is present in the Godhead.
Submission isn't a matter who is smarter for most deserving. Submission in marriage is simply another reflection of the beautiful pattern of the roles seen in the Trinity. (helper by design, 147)
Submission isn't a matter who is smarter for most deserving. Submission in marriage is simply another reflection of the beautiful pattern of the roles seen in the Trinity. (helper by design, 147)
Submission is good because it is God’s divine plan for function and order
Submission is good because it is God’s divine plan for function and order.
As a Christian woman, submitting to my husband is not an option; it is obediently following God’s plan for order in marriage, a plan that has existed from the beginning. (Biblical womanhood in the home, 122)
As a Christian woman, submitting to my husband is not an option; it is obediently following God’s plan for order in marriage, a plan that has existed from the beginning. (Biblical womanhood in the home, 122)
But God, the perfect artist, designed marriage to be beautiful, natural, and functional by giving it a single head, the husband. Thank you, Lord, that marriage is your work of art. (a woman after gods own heart, 80)
But God, the perfect artist, designed marriage to be beautiful, natural, and functional by giving it a single head, the husband. Thank you, Lord, that marriage is your work of art. (a woman after gods own heart, 80)
Submission as a way of life for every believer, not Just the wife.
Submission as a way of life for every believer, not Just the wife
Ephesians 5:21 ESV
submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Submission reveals the person's character and spiritual maturity.
Reveals one's love for God
Reveals one's love for God.
John 14:15 ESV
“If you love me, you will keep my commandments.
John 14:31 ESV
but I do as the Father has commanded me, so that the world may know that I love the Father. Rise, let us go from here.
Reveals if a person is filled with the spirit.
Ephesians 5:18 ESV
And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit,
Reveals ones view of Christ's authority.
Ephesians 5:22 ESV
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
Reveals a wife's heart and impacts her true beauty.
1 Peter 3:1 ESV
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,
Submission is a picture of the church obeying Christ.
Since Jesus is the example of perfect submission wives can follow his example!
1 Peter 2:21 ESV
For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.
John 6:38 ESV
For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me.
God is not partial to males or females. Although equal in that regard, the wife should take the attitude of the Lord Jesus Christ, one of submissive servanthood, to carry out her God intended role in the marriage. (the excellent wife, 139)
God is not partial to males or females. Although equal in that regard, the wife should take the attitude of the Lord Jesus Christ, one of submissive servanthood, to carry out her God intended role in the marriage. (the excellent wife, 139)
We all struggle with submission.
A lack of submission started when Satan rejected God and rebelled
A lack of submission started when Satan rejected God and rebelled.
Isaiah 14:13–14 ESV
You said in your heart, ‘I will ascend to heaven; above the stars of God I will set my throne on high; I will sit on the mount of assembly in the far reaches of the north; I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.’
Isaiah 14:13–14 ESV
You said in your heart, ‘I will ascend to heaven; above the stars of God I will set my throne on high; I will sit on the mount of assembly in the far reaches of the north; I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.’
A lack of submission continued in the garden of Eden.
1 Timothy 2:14 ESV
and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.
A lack of submission extended to all mankind.
Isaiah 53:6 ESV
All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.
A lack of submission will increase in the last days.
The Gospel redeems all humanity from the challenge of submission
The Gospel redeems all humanity from the challenge of submission.
2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
Respond properly to imperfect leadership.
Since Jesus is the only perfect leader, we all face the challenge the following imperfect leadership and home.
Since Jesus is the only perfect leader, we all face the challenge the following imperfect leadership in the home.
1 Corinthians 11:3 ESV
But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.
Am I willing for God to make me thankful for my husband’s failures so that I can learn what it means to be like Christ, a friend of sinners? (helper by design, 53)
Am I willing for God to make me thankful for my husband’s failures so that I can learn what it means to be like Christ, a friend of sinners? (helper by design, 53)
Remember, God never gives all of his authority to anyone specific person or institution.
Acts 5:29 ESV
But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men.
Scripture is clear that the wife is to be submissive to her husband in all things unless her husband asks her to sin. (helper by design, 143)
Responding to a believing husband who is imperfect.
We don't live in an ideal world or with ideal man who perfectly followed the Ephesians instruction to love their wives as Christ loved the church and lay down his life for her. Like Adam, many husbands fail to lead (or sacrificially love). And like Eve, many wives rationalize about submission, inwardly mouthing Satan's condescending question, ‘surely God didn't really say that!’ (Biblical womanhood in the home, 122)
We don't live in an ideal world or with ideal man who perfectly followed the Ephesians instruction to love their wives as Christ loved the church and lay down his life for her. Like Adam, many husbands fail to lead (or sacrificially love). And like Eve, many wives rationalize about submission, inwardly mouthing Satan's condescending question, ‘surely God didn't really say that!’ (Biblical womanhood in the home, 122)
Responding to an un-believing husband who is imperfect.
Our submission to our husbands preaches a lovelier and more powerful sermon that our mouths ever could. Conduct counts! (a woman after gods own heart, 82)
1 Corinthians 7:14 ESV
For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
Responding biblically and legally two husbands abusive treatment that becomes physically harmful.
1 Peter 2:20 ESV
For what credit is it if, when you sin and are beaten for it, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God.

The joy of bringing glory to God by respecting your husband

Ephesians 5:33 ESV
However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Respect means to value, regard, notice, honor, prefer, esteem, praise, love, admire exceedingly.
She should respect him as a person.
She should respect his position.
She should respect his position.
The wife is to respond respectfully to her husband because of his God-given position… this respect is not only an outward show, but also inward heart attitude of obedience to God. (the excellent wife, 109)
The wife is to respond respectfully to her husband because of his God-given position… this respect is not only an outward show, but also inward heart attitude of obedience to God. (the excellent wife, 109)
1 Corinthians 11:3 ESV
But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.
A godly wife Will not only show respect to her husband's position during the difficult times, such as his sin or his failure, but she will also showed respect on a daily basis when he is just an everyday, ordinary person. (the excellent wife ,110)
A godly wife Will not only show respect to her husband's position during the difficult times, such as his sin or his failure, but she will also showed respect on a daily basis when he is just an everyday, ordinary person. (the excellent wife ,110)
Practical ways to show respect to your husband:
Remember that respect begins in the heart: develop a godly attitude towards your husband
Remember that respect begins in the heart: Develop a godly attitude towards your husband.
Proverbs 23:7 ESV
for he is like one who is inwardly calculating. “Eat and drink!” he says to you, but his heart is not with you.
Matthew 12:34 ESV
You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
Practice godly communication.
Ephesians 4:25 ESV
Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.
By asking questions instead of making accusations or bottom-line statements.
Example: “honey, can you help me understand why you made that statement?” vs. “I can't believe you said that to me!”
Example: “honey, can you help me understand why you made that statement?” vs. “I can't believe you said that to me!”
By practicing humility.
James 4:6 ESV
But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”
I deserve a husband who does fill in this blank. Describe why you deserve this. How does this attitude reflect Christ?
Deserve / Desire?
By showing grace in your words and tone of voice.
Colossians 4:6 ESV
Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.
By using words and tones that edify him: To build him up when he fails and to commend him when he succeeds. (; = give honor where due)
By expressing gratitude (even in difficult circumstances).
1 Thessalonians 5:18 ESV
give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
By avoiding gossip or being critical of your husband in public or privately to others who are not part of the problem or the solution.
Proverbs 20:19 ESV
Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.
Choosing to believe the best about him. ( = …‘believes all things’)
Deal with your problems first before trying to help him to please God.
How does God want me to use my husbands imperfections to help me grow to become more like Christ?
It's easy to believe that we would be better at our calling if he were better at his. If he was being the kind of husband he was called to be, then it would be easy for me to be what I'm called to be, we Think. We have to wrestle with the reality that in thinking in this way we are expecting for husbands to be something that we aren’t - sinless - and we're making our faithful obedience contingent on something other than Jesus Christ. (helper by design, 53)
It's easy to believe that we would be better at our calling if he were better at his. If he was being the kind of husband he was called to be, then it would be easy for me to be what I'm called to be, we Think. We have to wrestle with the reality that in thinking in this way we are expecting for husbands to be something that we aren’t - sinless - and we're making our faithful obedience contingent on something other than Jesus Christ. (helper by design, 53)
Pray for him daily.
Luke 11:1 ESV
Now Jesus was praying in a certain place, and when he finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, as John taught his disciples.”
Matthew 21:22 ESV
And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”
Potential results if a wife respects her husband:
John 13:17 ESV
If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.
In your personal life
In the life of your husband
in the life of your husband
In the life of your children
In the life of your children
When I hear women whining about their husbands faults to friends, and I catch myself speaking to my husband in tones that don't sound honoring, I want to shout, ’Stop! Stop yourself, Barbara! Think of the consequences!’ Our attitudes and words are teaching the next generation. (Biblical womanhood in the home, 128)
When I hear women whining about their husbands faults to friends, and I catch myself speaking to my husband in tones that don't sound honoring, I want to shout, ’Stop! Stop yourself, Barbara! Think of the consequences!’ Our attitudes and words are teaching the next generation. (Biblical womanhood in the home, 128)

The joy of bringing glory to God by impacting your husband

In God's sight, a trusting heart is precious, a word that means “of the highest value” or “extremely expensive.” What makes this attitude so valuable? First, its rarity, and second, the price that was paid to obtain it. Only a heart that's drenched in the precious blood of Christ finds its peace and rest in him. You can rest in him, lovingly speaking and living the truth before your husband, knowing that God holds you gently in the palm of his hand. Your faith is precious to him, and he'll sustain you in peaceful trust. (helper by design, 191)
In God's sight, a trusting heart is precious, a word that means “of the highest value” or “extremely expensive.” What makes this attitude so valuable? First, its rarity, and second, the price that was paid to obtain it. Only a heart that's drenched in the precious blood of Christ finds its peace and rest in him. You can rest in him, lovingly speaking and living the truth before your husband, knowing that God holds you gently in the palm of his hand. Your faith is precious to him, and he'll sustain you in peaceful trust. (helper by design, 191)
Focus on being a good example.
A godly wife is an “instrument in the Redeemer's hands”
Remember you made a vow before God.
Ecclesiastes 5:5 ESV
It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay.
Deny yourself, take up your cross daily, and follow Christ.
Luke 9:23 ESV
And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.
Focus on being a Proverbs 31 kind of woman.
Proverbs 31:10 ESV
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.
Proverbs 31.10
Proverbs 31.28
Proverbs 31:28 ESV
Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
Focus on the judgment seat of Christ.
2 Corinthians 5:10 ESV
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.

Conclusion

Let your challenge with submission draw you closer to your Savior.
five
John 15:5 ESV
I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.
Your relationship with your husband will be determined by your relationship with your Savior!
Strong Christians = strong marriages = strong families = strong churches
It's not what you know, it's what you do with what you know.
James 1:22–25 ESV
But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.
Sisters in Christ, we must discipline ourselves to submit to God's will for marriage relationships - to live as our husband's helpers, submitting to and respecting their position, gracefully developing a gentle and quiet spirit. This is God's will in the Gospel. (Biblical womanhood in the home, 129)
Sisters in Christ, we must discipline ourselves to submit to God's will for marriage relationships - to live as our husband's helpers, submitting to and respecting their position, gracefully developing a gentle and quiet spirit. This is God's will in the Gospel. (Biblical womanhood in the home, 129)
The result of obedience in fulfilling your role as wife can bring God's blessings, while disobedience can bring God's discipline.
Galatians 6:8 ESV
For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.
Galatians 6:8–9 ESV
For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

Resources

Piper, John. This Momentary Marriage. Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 2009.
DeMoss, Nancy Leigh ed. Biblical Womanhood in the Home. Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 2002.
Peace, Martha. An Excellent Wife. Bemidji, MN: Focus Publishing, 1999.
Piper, John. What’s The Difference? (Manhood and Womanhood Defined According to the Bible). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 2009.
Fitzpatrick, Elyse. Helper By Design. Chicago, IL: Moody Publishers, 2003.
Mack, Wayne. Strengthening Your Marriage. Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing, 1999.
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