What is True Love?

Cody Hale

Love One Another • Sermon • Submitted 7 years ago

Romans 12:9–13

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Introduction

When Jesus tells commands us in to love one another, I’m not sure we exactly know what He means by that. We live in an age that is confused about the nature and definition of love. And, I think, often, we bring that same confusion to the table when the Bible tells us that we are to love one another in the Church. Does ‘loving one another’ mean that I should find a church that I get excited about and feel excited about and remain there so long as it stays that way? Or, does ‘loving one another’ mean that I should tolerate everything I see in my brother or sister’s life so as to not be unloving? Or, does ‘loving one another’ mean that I work and work and work in my church in spite of the fact that I hate the work and feel contempt for those whom I believe aren’t working as hard?

With all of the false pictures of love we see around us, from the dad who thinks working and providing is enough to the woman believes she can fall out of love with her husband to the college student that feels goose bumps on their arms, I’m not really sure we know what it means when Jesus says that we should ‘love one another.’ So, this morning, we’re going to ask the question: What is true love? What is the nature and character of the type of love that Jesus calls us to when commands us to ‘love one another?’

God’s Word

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Un-Masked Love

“Let love be genuine” I want you to notice something in our text this morning that you’ll be able to pick up on because of what we talked about a couple of weeks ago. These are the kinds of connections that will help you as become a more serious student of the Bible, and they will slowly begin to jump out at you more. A couple of weeks ago, we started off this Love One Another series by looking at , which is what many consider to be the love chapter of the Bible. And, if you’ll remember, we said that the love chapter of the Bible pertained to the church. We knew that because of what had just preceded it in chapter 12 as Paul addresses the spiritual gifts in the life of the church. So, he talks about the gifts in the church for the building up of the church, and then he transitions straight into a conversation about the preeminence of love in the Christian’s life. He is essentially saying that the gifts are only good if they are used with and channelled through love for one another. Now, I want you to look at our text this morning, and I want you to notice what Paul is talking about and how it is structured. In verses 3-8, Paul is talking about the gifts once again, and then, suddenly in verse 9, he makes the shift back to love. These are like mirror passages! The wording is slightly different, and he goes into detail about some different characteristics of love, but here again we have Paul talking with a local church about the issue of loving one another, and he’s teaching them hear about the nature of true love.

He starts with what is the summary statement of the whole thought. Everything else he is going to say here flows out of the thought. And so, he says, “Let love be genuine.” Most other translations that I read actually translated it more literally than that by saying “Let love be (without hypocrisy).” That’s really what he’s getting at here. Hypocrisy is a word that comes from actors who wear a mask. In other words, what you saw in them was artificial; it wasn’t real. The person they were beneath the mask was different from the person that you actually see. So, Paul is essentially saying “Unmask your love! Let it be real! Let your love be both internal and external, for one without the other isn’t genuine.” Genuine, Christian love is inwardly transformative and outwardly expressed. Love that is only felt inwardly is hypocritical, for it does not love enough to do anything. It's shallow. Love that is only outwardly expressed but not inwardly known is hypocritical, for it tries to give the appearance of love where love in fact does not exist. It's superficial.

Be, then Do

And, you’ll notice this even in the way that Paul structures the exhortations that we read in verses 9-13. In each one, he tells you a way that you should be and then something that you should do. We must do, but our doing must come out of our being if it is to be genuine. In verse 9, he says abhor evil, then he says to hold fast. In verse 10, he says love one another, and then outdo in showing honor. Be fervent, passionate, then serve the Lord. Be hopeful and patient, then comes the expression of prayer. Be filled with love for one another, then take care of one another. So, it's be, then do.

5 Marks of Genuine Love

TRANSITION: So, Paul is calling us to genuine, authentic love here, and then he describes for us what it looks like so that we will know whether or not we’ve got it. Back to our original question: What is true love? What does un-masked, being and doing, love for one another in the church actually look like? I think we see at least 5 marks of genuine love here:

1st Mark: Genuine love is pure. (v. 9b)

“abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good” So, the first way that Paul describes authentic love is to say that is pure, and to be pure, there are two simultaneous realities that must be true: 1) It must hate evil. 2) It must love good. You see, love is not neutral. Love is convictional and informed, and it even necessitates hate. Because authentic love wants what is good for the other person it must necessarily hate anything that will bring them harm. There is nothing indifferent about it! If love is indifferent toward sin and toward what is evil then it is something less than love. And, this is so different from the way we are used to hearing love explained in our society. Love in our society is typically defined as tolerance. In other words, love is to tolerate sin and evil for the purpose of having a good relationship with them. But, this is not gospel love! The gospel doesn’t tolerate evil; it obliterates it. In fact, the message of the Gospel is that God who is in his very essence good overcame evil at a great cost to himself. So, tolerance of evil and indifference toward evil are an insult to love because they are an insult to God who is love!

APPLICATION: So, that’s why there’s such strong, emphatic language here. Evil is not to be tolerated for it is far too destructive. And, good is to be much more than tolerated for it is far too good! There is no place for indifference and apathy in pure love! So, hate evil, and hold onto what is good with all that you’ve got. Now, church there is a line for us to walk here that I think is important for us to walk: We must hate what is evil without becoming agents of wrath. In other words, we must hate evil without becoming vengeful, hateful people. This is what he’s going to spend a lot of time on in last half of this chapter. “Bless those who persecute you” “Repay no one evil for evil.” “Never avenge yourselves.” No, we must act upon our hatred of evil by clinging with everything we’ve got to that which is good. Is our brother in sin? We aren’t to avenge his sinfulness; we are to lovingly, gently, kindly call him to the good of repentance. Are our students confused about homosexuality or the nature of marriage? We mustn’t react with wrath; we are to patiently, diligently show them the goodness of Biblical truth. We, like Christ, are to overcome that which is evil by Him who is good! Let us hold fast to good, Church!

2nd Mark: Genuine love is affectionate. (v. 10)

“Love one another with brotherly affection.” Now, I think this one is really cool, and it gets me excited. You’ll notice the phrase ‘brotherly affection,’ and that phrase is actually a single Greek word that you all know already: ‘Philadelphia.’ That’s why it’s called the “City of Brotherly Love.” The Greek word for love at the beginning here starts with the same prefix so that essentially what Paul is saying is: “Affectionately love one another with brotherly affection.” These are the words that would’ve been used to describe the care and love that you have for your family. Understand this is how the Bible talks about the Church. The most common way that you will hear me reference our church is as ‘church family’ and as ‘brothers and sisters.’ I do this, not to sound ‘churchy’, but to reinforce that this is who we are! The Church is a family, not a weekly event!

Over 15 years ago, this concept changed my life. In 2001, I came to faith in Jesus. I didn’t have it all figured out, but I did know that I needed Jesus to save me from my sin. And, about that same time, I remember going to a camp with our student ministry, and y’all this sounds cheesy but it was profound and life-altering to me, I remember our youth pastor telling us that we were not just some youth group; we were a youth a family. That God had given us a family. And, I’ve held that in my heart for the rest of my life! Iron City, for the past 16 years, you’ve been my family! You were there when I was baptized and when I was married and when I was called into the ministry and when I left for full-time ministry. You were there when I had children, and when I began my pastorate. Even when I was away, you were keeping up with me, and I was keeping up with you! And, what’s even better, is that I’ve learned through mission trips that we have family everywhere! This morning, there are Africans praying explicitly for us, by name! How powerful is that! I’m taking 8 men to Swaziland at the end of this month, and when I see these brothers on the others side of the world, they’re going to hug me, and we’re going to catch up! We’re family, and God has given that to us!

APPLICATION: “Outdo one another is showing honor.” And so, Paul instructs us to do what families do: Honor each other. He says, “Outdo one another is showing honor.” That is, be anxious to find ways to give credit, honor, and recognition to your brothers and sisters, instead of yourself. Can you imagine how magnetic a place like that would be? You see, church isn’t just a family that you tolerate; it’s a family that you celebrate! What if we replaced gossip and criticism in the church with celebration of one another! We need to talk about one another the way that people talk about their kids. If all of you have a single blindspot in your life, it’s your kids, isn’t it? If you talk to Kelly Hale, you’ll think that I’m some blend of Billy Graham and the Apostle Paul. But, I just ain’t that good! But, she wants to celebrate her son. Church, let’s celebrate one another! Your friends and your kids and your neighbors will form their view of your church and your gospel by how kindly and positively you speak about them. Let’s make it a competition around here to outdo each other celebrating everybody else. Because when you celebrate the Church, you celebrate the gospel, and the people will be drawn to a celebrated gospel!

3rd Mark: Genuine Love is zealous. (v. 11)

“Be fervent in spirit” In verse 11, Paul starts off with a warning that seems impossible to the new Christian. In fact, the words don’t even make sense in the same sentence together. He says don’t be (lazy) in zeal. Now, the words ‘lazy’ and ‘zeal’ hardly belong side-by-side, for they are polar opposites. Cold water cannot exist where hot water is. Snow cannot be where a fire is burning. And, there in lies the warning. Don’t let the gospel fire that his been lit in your bones be stifled in your relationships with one another. Many of the Christians in the Roman church were likely there on the day of Pentecost, and they had been there with fire of the Holy Spirit was poured upon believers for the first time. But, no doubt, many of them had cooled since then. They were losing steam. I wonder how many of you can identify with that. There was a time, when you were a new believer, when God was doing a unique work in you that your heart was on fire for the things of God, but honestly it’s cooled some now. How preposterous! Should you not even know better of how good God is? Should you not even have more ways to testify to his faithfulness? Should you not have greater passion for him, rather than less?

An Arsonist, not a Firefighter

“be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord” One of the reasons that God gave us one another is so that we can fuel one another’s gospel fire. The word ‘fervent’ here literally imagines a fire that is expanding or a pot that is boiling over with water. It is to be so filled with passion that it spills over and affects that which is close by. This is the church!!!! APPLICATION: In other words, our time together is supposed to build such a gospel fire in our hearts that it spills out into passionate service to God. That’s the point of our relationships with each other. 1) Increase our gospel passion. 2) Work out our gospel passion in faithful service to Christ. You’re supposed to be a gospel arsonist, not a firefighter! Do you ignite the fire in your brother’s heart, or do you put it out? Do you ignite your brother through encouragement and testimony and love, or do you extinguish the fires of those around you with negativity, self-centeredness, and grumbling?

4th Mark: Genuine love is faithful.

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer” The relationship between hope, patience, and prayer, as we see here, is a natural one. It's one that we see Paul describe in other places, such as in . And, the relationship is a natural one because all of them are the product of faith. In other words, without faith, not a single one of them exist.

Hope is expectant faith. It is the expectation for God to honor his word and live up to his character. It is the expectation that God loves you as He says that He will and will take care of you as He promises to. When Paul instructs us to rejoice in hope, he's calling us to be happy even though it doesn't appear that we have much to be happy about. It's being happy because you are convinced so convinced that God is good and that God is for you that you can be happy now because you are assured that God will get you to the other side of your difficulty in a way that exceed your every expectation. Hope is rejoicing in God when you can't rejoice in your circumstances.

Patience is enduring faith. The most difficult thing for a Christian to trust is the timing of God. Is there anything that tests the strength of your faith more than waiting for God? David, as he speaks of being surrounded by the encampments of his enemy, writes: "Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"

Where hope is expectant faith, patience is enduring faith. The most difficult thing for a Christian to trust is the timing of God. Is there anything that tests the strength of your faith more than waiting for God? David, as he speaks of being surrounded by the encampments of his enemy, writes: "Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" So, patience is faith in God’s timing with marriage and with children and with your career. It’s waiting in full belief in the goodness of God and the provision of God over a long period of time.

Prayer is expressed faith. So, if we hope in God with an expectant faith that God loves us and hear us and answers us, we will express it in pleading and talking with him in prayer. If our faith is an enduring faith and a patient faith, we will pray to him constantly. See that? That's how being leads to doing. We pray initially out of hope and expectation that God will answer us as pray for good things, and we keep on praying and keeping on pleading and keep on asking because our faith in him endures, even when our circumstances seem to say otherwise.

APPLICATION: Church, this is who we are to be with one another! We are to be a hoping, enduring, praying people! And, we have responsibility for one another’s hoping, enduring, and praying! You want to know why you need the church? One day, you’re going to find hope impossible, and so you’ll need the church to hope for you and to restore your hope. You’re going to have times when you just don’t think you can endure for another second, and you’re going to need your brothers and sisters to pick you up and carry you with them. A day is coming in which your energy for prayer and your faith in its power will be in question, and you will need your brothers and sisters to intercede for you and lift you up. If you are to live in hope and if you are to endure in faith and if you are to remain in prayer, brothers and sisters, you must love each other and spur one another on in the faith! Oh, that the church would stop beating one another down and start building one another up in faith!

5th Mark: Genuine love is sacrificial.

“contribute to the needs of the saints” The root Greek word for ‘contribute’ here is koinonia. And, the reason that I bring that up is that koinonia is the word from which we get ‘fellowship.’ It’s talking about the friendship and the love and the relationships that we are to have with each other. It is to share life with each other and to share every part of our lives. Twelve times in the NT when this word is used, it’s used in the context of helping each other with real world, material needs like food, clothing, money, or shelter. He talks here about the need for ‘hospitality’ and that was a major concern at this time for the Christians. The Christian faith required them to travel around for the sake of missions, and many of them did not have the money to do so. And, there was a growing persecution across the world of Christians, and Christians needed to have safe places to stay. So, hospitality became one of the calling cards of the early church. Even when housing a missionary might cost you your home or your livelihood, even your life, you would do it because you loved your brother and were willing to sacrifice for his well-being.

APPLICATION: Love is never without sacrifice. Anywhere you see a love that is unwilling to sacrifice, you see something that is actually less than genuine love. It is hypocritical, false love. You see, we have responsbility to one another that will require of us sacrifice. It may mean that we have to open up our homes at an inconvenience to ourselves and our privacy. It may mean that we have to go on a lesser vacation or do without something that we’d like to have so that we can provide for our brother and sister in the faith. You see, when a family in our church is adopting, our whole church family is adopting. When one of us is going on mission to the nations, our whole church family is going on mission to the nations. When one of us hurting and struggling to make ends meet, we share a collective responsibility to provide for them. And, we’re happy to do it, because not only does genuine love always sacrifice, but genuine love actually takes joy in sacrifice.

Landing

Church family, this morning, let us unmask our love for each other.

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