Women as Mothers
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Moms, you have a hard job. Let me just say. And there are moms that don’t take this responsibility seriously, and I’m proud to say, I don’t think we have any in this church. The moms and grandmas in this church are generally really good ones. But we see the deficit in our society.
There are a lot of children, but they are not fruitful children.
Having children is a lot easier than raising children to be fruitful.
And the duty of fruitful child-raising falls in large part to the role of mom.
Mom should be leading, teaching, instructing, disciplining, and involving herself actively in her children’s affairs to cause them to be fruitful.
Then he said to the woman,
“I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy,
and in pain you will give birth.
And you will desire to control your husband,
but he will rule over you.”
Because of sin,
wants to rule husband. Starts with boyfriend.
pain in child-bearing (and child rearing).
The children are not the curse (like men, the work is cursed, but the curse is not work).
We have a society that says that children are the curse- birth control, abortion, day care, foster care, public school, etc. We do whatever we can to avoid our hard work of raising our children. Our society says that children are the curse, and they are not. This is why some women get pregnant and announce it as though they got cancer.
Paul says that the world, in its wisdom does not know God.
He also says that we are not to be conformed to the pattern of this world, but are rather to be transformed by the renewing of our minds.
People who don’t understand God look at children as though they are the curse, and we should not.
That means that if you are going to be a strong biblical woman, you are swimming up stream against a strong social current.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
If a woman fears the Lord, that’s what causes her to be a great mom, and a great wife. If she’s a good Christian, she’ll be a good mom and a good wife.
But this is the start. Ask yourself:
Do I know the Lord?
Do I fear the Lord?
Do I love the Lord?
Do I obey the Lord?
Am I committed to the Lord?
Am I reading my Bible?
Am I growing in wisdom, knowledge, and discipline as a result of my fear of the Lord?
A wise woman builds her home,
but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.
Wise women are homewardly oriented.
These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.
If you fear the Lord and walk with him in holiness and righteousness, and respect your husband, and build your home, you will be a good mom.
Motherhood is not about the children. It’s about God. So even when you don’t feel like it, you work for God. Do moms receive benefit and blessing? Of course, but there are going to be days where you just do it because you’re doing it for God. The apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 10:
So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
So, just to be clear: Mothers are in full-time ministry with one purpose: honor the Lord. Glorify the Lord. Serve the Lord.
And the mother’s job is not to just focus on behavior, but on his heart.
Psalms says that we are wicked from birth.
For I was born a sinner—
yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.
If you believe that a child’s heart is basically good, you will encourage their esteem and nurture the goodness to come out of them. And when you do that, you get a nation that looks like ours- people who are reprobate, but who believe that they are really pretty wonderful.
This leads to a society that is generally pretty arrogant, but who can’t read. Seriously, In a study done by the US Department of Education the national Institute of literacy determined that wanted five high school graduates cannot read.
This comes from the belief that people are generally good, and so we just need to build their esteem and make them feel better about themselves so they will actualize their goodness. But if we believe what the Bible teaches, we understand that foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, you will need to deal with that heart.
Example: do you need to teach your child to steal? No. They just steal, don’t they?
You don’t have to teach your kids to covet. No matter how many toys we have in our house, for our kids, they’re never enough. You ever notice that no matter how many toys there are, kids always seem to want to play with the same things? So there’s conflict. Why?
Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,
but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.
And how you deal with their heart will build momentum for the rest of their life.
Are you always training your children? Yes. If you are a mother, school is always in session and your children are always taking notes, so we need to help them build momentum that will propel our children forward to be people who love God deeply. This is especially important for your kids under 6. Jean Fleming in her book A Mother’s Heart, says this:
A mother's presence throughout infancy and the entire preschool stage is important because more learning takes place in the child's first five years than in any comparable period of life. Experts agree that as much as eighty-five percent of a child's character is developed by age five, and the way a child is raised in the early years accounts for at least twenty points of his IQ. (Mother’s Heart, Fleming, p. 18)
Because this is true, we must build good momentum for our children to propel them forward where they ought to go in life.
How can you build good momentum? How can you disciple children well for life? Two points: (men get 11 because waffles, and women get 2 because spaghetti).
1. Hear their heart.
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
You need to do the hard work of knowing your child’s heart. Moms are so important because you play the role of counselor, nurse, CEO, janitor, law enforcement, and chef, and it’s all hard and often thankless work. Let me just say, on behalf of the men who have no idea how hard your job is, thank you. You do the most important work in the world: raising up the next generation to follow after God. And it’s hard.
2 Timothy says that in the last days, people will be without natural affection. This is at its worst when you see it with mothers and their children, isn’t it? Do you ever see the mom in public that looks so angry at her kids and just snaps on them for asking a question. I try to give the benefit of the doubt to the mom, maybe the kid has been really bad that day, but my heart always goes out to that kid, because children are created to be loved by their mother. A child that isn’t loved is a recipe for all sorts of dysfunction and pain in his or her life. Jean Fleming again says this:
“Tenderness and concern, once considered natural responses to children, are often missing. Their lack is expressed most blatantly in child abuse, but also comes disguised in a parent’s failure to provide a listening ear, a word of encouragement, or an affectionate embrace.” (Mother’s Heart, Fleming, pp. 15-16)
She goes on to say this:
Sitting them on our laps and reading them a story is infinitely better then having them sit beside a record player to hear that same story. Mechanical substitutes may Supplement our personal involvement, but they should never replace us.
What brings satisfaction at the end of one day may bring dissatisfaction over a lifetime. (Mother’s Heart, Fleming, p. 54)
So moms, some of the most important things that you can do in a day are to put down the broom, close the computer, put down the phone, turn off the TV and snuggle with your kids. It’s not wasting time. It’s incredibly valuable. I’ll repeat what I said a couple of weeks ago: you cannot just have quality time. You must spend a lot of time with your children to get to the quality time. Quality does not come without quantity.
2. Let them hear the heart of God.
And you won’t be able to do that without first being in your Bible. You need to walk with Jesus and let him lead you well so that you can lead your children.
Almost every Christian parent wants to have their children honor God as they mature. But we may expect the product without being willing to involve ourselves in the process. (Mother’s Heart, Fleming, p. 62)
This is what God does for us, He takes us to his word.
God focuses his attention on the individual. He does not produce babies by mass production, nor are they developed by accident or chance. Rather, God himself forms each child one by one. (Mother’s Heart, Fleming, p. 94)
Children cannot be put on hold, or laid aside like a wallpaper project, for our convenience. They can't wait for our day off, or for the day when we finally have everything under control! God has given us the privilege of working together with him on behalf of our children, and they must be a priority. (Mother’s Heart, Fleming, p. 106)
Mothers are the primary dsciplers of their kids. Husbands disciple wives, mothers disciple children.
Moms, it is primarily your job to point kids to scripture.
And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Who else can do that but you?
I long to see you again, for I remember your tears as we parted. And I will be filled with joy when we are together again.
I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you.
Timothy’s faith was not given to him without hard work. Lois and Eunice heard Timothy’s heart, and they brought him to hear the heart of God, and my prayer is that you would do the same.
And if you need prayer right now, maybe you feel lost with your kids, just adrift in the weight of the responsibility of loving them, raising them, growing them to be fruitful disciples of Jesus, or you just need prayer to encourage you not to give up, I’d love to pray for you mommas right now. And if you need prayer come forward while we sing or after church, and I’d love to pray for you.