Gifts & Grief

The Family Matters Series • Sermon • Submitted 6 years ago

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You can't be in a right standing relationship with your heavenly father when your relationship with your brother & sister is fractured.

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Locard's Exchange Principle

Developed by Dr. Edmond Locard, known as the Sherlock Holmes of France, this principle has a simple premise: every contact leaves a trace. In other words, every criminal leaves a trace behind him. One forensic expert put it this way:

Wherever he steps, whatever he touches, whatever he leaves, even unconsciously, will serve as a silent witness against him. Not only his fingerprints or his footprints, but his hair, the fibers from his clothes, the glass he breaks … the paint he scratches, the blood … he deposits or collects … This is evidence that does not forget.

Sutherland explains how this principle applies not just to forensic science but to all human relationships:

Every time two people come into contact with one another an exchange takes place. Whether between lifelong friends or passing strangers, we encourage, we ignore, we hold out a hand, or we withdraw it. We walk towards or we walk away. We bless or we curse… And every single contact leaves a trace. The way that we treat and regard one another matters. It really matters.

Would you say that in your day-to-day experiences, that you are leaving others with a positive or negative experience of you?

Are you representing Jesus in a positive or negative way?

Pray

We are starting a new series called, The Family Matter’s Series

We are going to be addressing the struggles inside the family, specifically our family here at Fortress

> Pray

Tonight’s message is titled: Gifts & Grief

Silent Killer

Matthew 5:21–24 ESV

21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire. 23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Mt 5:21

Introduce the Altar and the Gift

It was normal in the times before Jesus died on the cross, that people would have to take the offerings and sacrifices to the temple in order that their sins would be forgiven.

How many are murderers in here?

Based on Jesus teachings in , how many of us would fall into the category of a murderer?

The Catch

Jesus just rocked everyone’s world...

Matthew 5:22 AMP

22 But I say to you that everyone who continues to be angry with his brother or harbors malice (enmity of heart) against him shall be liable to and unable to escape the punishment imposed by the court; and whoever speaks contemptuously and insultingly to his brother shall be liable to and unable to escape the punishment imposed by the Sanhedrin, and whoever says, You cursed fool! [You empty-headed idiot!] shall be liable to and unable to escape the hell (Gehenna) of fire.

Murder begins in the heart - vs 22

Enmity of the Heart - deep-rooted hatred

Deep-rooted, means there is something going on deep inside your heart. It doesn’t matter what the person does, you see every mistake they make, and ignore the successes of their life.

deep-rooted hatred

Contempt - the feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn.

Syn. = disdain, disrespect, loathing, hatred

Insultingly - NIV says, if you say to your brother, RACA!

Raca - vain, empty, worthless; the root of the word literally means “to spit”

vain, empty, worthless,

Gehenna - A name for the place of torment for the wicked, derived from the name of the Valley of Hinnom, which was used for burning refuse and the corpses of criminals in NT times.

Have you ever found yourself hating someone, but you don’t remember why you dislike them? (Share stories; don’t share specific names)

Are you holding anger towards someone right now?

A name for the place of torment for the wicked, derived from the name of the Valley of Hinnom, which was used for burning refuse and the corpses of criminals in nt times.

Jesus wasn’t making light of the inner issues of the heart - I don’t want us to just glaze over this.

Second-Mile Service

Chick-fil-A Second-Mile Service Guidelines

Someone asks for a sauce, you go the extra mile and take their whole tray to the table

But I was the victim of of someone else’s anger or hatred...

Matthew 5:38–42 NIV

38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ 39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. 40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. 41 If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

Keep in mind, Jesus is saying this knowing good and well what awaits him in a few years on the cross.

What are some ideas for ways that you can offer second-mile service to an “enemy?”

The Cure: Love & Prayer

How to Stop a Bully Video

Mt 5:

Matthew 5:43–48 ESV

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? 47 And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? 48 You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Matthew 5:43–48 ESV

What are some ideas for ways that you can offer second-mile service to an “enemy?”

Sometimes before the healing can fully take place, you have to reopen the wound to allow it heal properly. Doctors sometimes have to re-break a bone so that it can heal correctly.

Romans 12:16–21 ESV

16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. 17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

vs. 20 is quoted from

What are some ideas for ways that you can offer second-mile service to an “enemy?”

Does anyone have an example of loving and praying for your enemy helping?

A servant is always going to be honored by God

Dirty Service Makes a Clean Relationship

John 13:1 ESV

1 Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.

John 13:1–20 ESV

1 Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. 2 During supper, when the devil had already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray him, 3 Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going back to God, 4 rose from supper. He laid aside his outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around his waist. 5 Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around him. 6 He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, do you wash my feet?” 7 Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.” 8 Peter said to him, “You shall never wash my feet.” Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no share with me.” 9 Simon Peter said to him, “Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and my head!” 10 Jesus said to him, “The one who has bathed does not need to wash, except for his feet, but is completely clean. And you are clean, but not every one of you.” 11 For he knew who was to betray him; that was why he said, “Not all of you are clean.” 12 When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, “Do you understand what I have done to you? 13 You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. 16 Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17 If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them. 18 I am not speaking of all of you; I know whom I have chosen. But the Scripture will be fulfilled, ‘He who ate my bread has lifted his heel against me.’ 19 I am telling you this now, before it takes place, that when it does take place you may believe that I am he. 20 Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever receives the one I send receives me, and whoever receives me receives the one who sent me.”

This is the night before Jesus is to be tried and hung on a cross…he already knows the fait that awaits him.

He has spent three years trying to show the Jews that he was the promised Messiah, yet the majority of them rejected him.

John 13:2–5 ESV

2 During supper, when the devil had already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray him, 3 Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going back to God, 4 rose from supper. He laid aside his outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around his waist. 5 Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

Jesus Knew

Jesus knew that Judas was already tempted by the devil to betray him. Judas wasn't a new guy, he has been with Jesus, following him, watching him, also preforming miracles and seeing people delivered for the past THREE YEARS. They spent long nights together, Judas' life was saved during a bad storm, his belly was fed on multiple occasions.

Judas was a direct follower of Jesus, and yet he didn't love Jesus more than his own desires.

Jesus knowing all this, still chose to humble himself and wash his feet regardless of the betrayal that was just a few hours away

In all of this, Jesus essentially acted out a parable for the disciples. Jesus knew better that actions speak louder than words. So when He wanted to teach the proud, arguing disciples about true humility, He didn’t just say it—He showed it. And He showed it in a way that illustrated His whole work on behalf of His own.

• Jesus rose from supper, a place of rest and comfort

• Jesus rose from His throne in heaven, a place of rest and comfort

• Jesus laid aside His garments, taking off His covering

• Jesus laid aside His glory, taking off His heavenly covering

• Jesus took a towel and girded Himself, being ready to work

• Jesus took the form of a servant, and came ready to work

• Jesus poured water into a basin, ready to clean

• Jesus poured out His blood to cleanse us from the guilt and penalty of sin

• Jesus sat down again () after washing their feet

• Jesus sat down at the right hand of God the Father after cleansing us

John 13:6–8 ESV

6 He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, do you wash my feet?” 7 Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.” 8 Peter said to him, “You shall never wash my feet.” Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no share with me.”

Jn 13:6

Peter's response is actually one stemming from false humility. Jesus was the master and Peter was the servant. Traditionally, the servant would wash the master's feet. In this case, Peter was disobeying his master by telling his master he couldn't do as he pleased.

b. If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me: If we do not accept the humble service of Jesus to cleanse us, we have no part with Him. Jesus does not wash our feet literally, as He did for the disciples. But He did humbly die on the cross to cleanse us, and we must receive it.

i. This foot washing is a powerful lesson in humility. But it is more than that. The deeper meaning here is that there is Jesus has no fellowship with those who have not been cleansed by Him.

John 13:9 ESV

9 Simon Peter said to him, “Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and my head!”

Jn 13:

Peter agrees to let Jesus wash his feet but also requests that he wash his hands and head as well...

c. Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head! Peter, in his request to be fully washed, is still reluctant to let Jesus do as He wants. Peter wants to tell Jesus what to do. Jesus—though the servant of all—is still God’s appointed leader. He won’t allow Peter to monopolize this situation, and set things on a wrong course.

i. Sometimes we show a servant’s heart by accepting the service of others for us. If we only serve, and refuse to be served, it can be a sign of deeply rooted and well-hidden pride. “Man’s humility does not begin with the giving of service; it begins with the readiness to receive it. For there can be much pride and condescension in our giving of service.” (Temple)

Do you have a hard time accepting service from other people? Sometimes we show a servant’s heart by accepting the service of others for us. If we only serve, and refuse to be served, it can be a sign of deeply rooted and well-hidden pride.

John 13:10–17 ESV

10 Jesus said to him, “The one who has bathed does not need to wash, except for his feet, but is completely clean. And you are clean, but not every one of you.” 11 For he knew who was to betray him; that was why he said, “Not all of you are clean.” 12 When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, “Do you understand what I have done to you? 13 You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you. 16 Truly, truly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17 If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.

Jn 13:10-

Jesus explains what He did, and calls His disciples to follow His example (12–17)

a. You also ought to wash one another’s feet: Jesus plainly and powerfully says that this is the attitude that must mark His followers, especially the leadership of the church.

b. Wash one another’s feet: We, like the disciples, would gladly wash the feet of Jesus. But He tells us to wash one another’s feet. Anything we do for each another that washes away the grime of the world and the dust of defeat and discouragement is foot washing.

You Know

You know that everyone in your life is a human, they are going to let you down at some point.

1 Peter 4:8–9 ESV

8 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 9 Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.

Grumble - complain or protest about something in a bad-tempered but typically muted way.

The point of tonight is that we all can look great on the outside, but inside we harbor contempt, grief, enmity; we grumble and complain when things aren’t done our way.

The only way to rid ourselves of the inner filth is humbly serve one another.

Small Groups & Foot Washing

We are going to break into small groups and further discuss some of this.

After that we are going to wash the feet of our small group brothers & sisters.

Are there people that you need to forgive before bringing your praise & offering to God?

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