The Biblical Husband
Notes
Transcript
Biblical Husbands
Biblical Husbands
Jon Gruss / Faith Biblical Counseling Ministries / General; Men
Better Together / Marriage; A Husband / 1 Peter 3:7
The Husband’s Role
Introduction
The beginning of Genesis 1 helps us properly understand the various roles in marriage:
1. The unique way Men were created.
2. The unique way Women were created.
3. A husband’s relationship with his wife will be determined by his relationship with his Lord.
John 15:5 ESV
I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.
1] The Joy of Bringing Glory to God by Learning About and Honoring His Wife.
A husband is commanded to learn about his wife.
1 Peter 3:7 ESV
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
1. A command that requires study which takes time and effort.
2. A command that includes being mindful of her weakness .
a. What this does not mean:
i. Weaker intellectually
ii. Weaker spiritually
b. What this does mean:
i. The wife is usually weaker physically
ii. The wife does not have the same degree of authority
• Therefore he must seek to understand her.
A husband is commanded to honor his wife.
1 Peter 3:7 ESV
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
1. Honoring her includes the idea of showing esteem and thankfulness to the highest degree.
Proverbs 31:28–30 ESV
Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
2. Honoring her because she shares the same inheritance as the husband.
1 Peter 3:7 ESV
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
The results of learning about and honoring his wife
1. effectual prayer life.
1 Peter 3:7 ESV
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
2] The Joy of Bringing Glory to God by Leading His Wife.
• Gen 1.26, 2.18-25; Eph 5.23; Matt 20.25-28
The biblical foundation for the husband’s leadership: Men were created to be leaders.
1. The order of creation establishes his leadership.
• Gen. 1-2
2. God declared the husband to be the leader.
Ephesians 5:23 ESV
For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
The biblical view of the husband’s leadership.
• Matt 20.25-28
Matthew 20:25–28 ESV
But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
1. Leadership is NOT: a lord .
2. Leadership IS: a servant .
a. The test of our servitude is how we respond when we are treated like a servant .
b. The greatest example of strong leadership through service is Jesus.
Views of Leadership
1. Wrong View of Leadership
• Proud
• No accountability
• Makes all decisions w/o counsel
• Expects others to serve them
• Sinful communication (lies, anger, etc.)
• Selfish focus - what’s best for me?
• Wrong motive: Pleasing Self
• Expects others to change 1st
• Weak on spiritual leadership
2. Biblical View of Leadership
• Humble
• Welcomes accountability
• Seeks counsel before making decisions
• Serves others
• Biblical communication (grace, control, etc.)
• Focus on others - What’s best for her?
• Right motive: Pleasing God
• Willing to change 1st ( good example )
• Provides strong spiritual leadership
3] The Joy of Bringing Glory to God by Loving His Wife.
Ephesians 5:25–33 ESV
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
• Real men think and act like Jesus Christ!
Biblical love is a choice to give sacrificially.
John 3:16 ESV
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
Galatians 2:20 ESV
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
• God’s love is the love upon which a good marriage is built:
1. That is the love Christ displayed on the cross for us.
2. Emotions will come and go, but godly love ‘ never fails ’
1 Corinthians 13:8 ESV
Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
Song of Solomon 8:7 ESV
Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised.
Biblical love is patterned after Christ’s love for us, which means...
1. Husbands must love First
1 John 4:19 ESV
We love because he first loved us.
2. Husbands must love Most
John 15:13 ESV
Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
3. Husbands must love Sacrificially
Ephesians 5:25 ESV
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
4. Husbands must love in spite of faults
Romans 5:8 ESV
but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
5. Husbands must love Regardless of rejection
a. Think about the rejection Jesus faced when He came to this earth:
i. Rejected by His own people, Israel .
John 1:11 ESV
He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him.
ii. Rejected by His disciples [He even called them His friends ].
Matthew 26:56 ESV
But all this has taken place that the Scriptures of the prophets might be fulfilled.” Then all the disciples left him and fled.
iii. Rejected by God Himself.
Matthew 27:46 ESV
And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
Additional instruction on loving your wife:
1. Love your wife as you would your own bodies .
Ephesians 5:28 ESV
In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
2. Love your wife in deed and in truth.
1 John 3:18 ESV
Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.
3. Love your wife without bitterness .
Colossians 3:19 ESV
Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
The results of loving your wife:
1. God is glorified .
2. The gospel is properly displayed. [as Christ loved the church]
3. Influence on the lives of others. [wife, children, extended family, etc.]
Conclusion
1. A husband cannot fulfill his role without help from the Lord.
2. Are you growing in the ways you think and act like Christ so you can:
a. ...learn about your wife?
b. ...love your wife?
c. ...lead your wife?
Recommended Resources
• The Exemplary Husband - Stuart Scott
• The Husband After God’s Own Heart - Jim George
• This Momentary Marriage - John Piper
• The Complete Husband - Lou Priolo
• What Did You Expect - Paul Tripp
• God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation - Kostenberger & Jones
Page 7. Exported from Logos Bible Software, 9:32 AM May 7, 2018.