Sermon Tone Analysis

III. CAUSES OF UNFORGIVENESS

Amazingly, the Ten Boom’s little home became the hub of the underground network.

From their secret hiding place, the fingers of the underground reached into the farthest corners of Holland.

As those of the Ten Boom family lived their double lives, they shuffled the hunted Jews into their one-room hiding place for sometimes up to two weeks, while members of the underground sought to slip the stowaways out of the country to safety.

Meanwhile, Corrie lived with the constant fear that they could be caught … and with reason.

The family was betrayed by a fellow watchmaker whom Corrie’s father had trained a few years earlier.

As a result of this treachery, Corrie never embraced her father again nor delighted in the presence of her beloved sister Betsie.

How could Corrie not be consumed with bitterness toward this “friend” who betrayed them?

She suffered the severity of these words …

“Even my close friend, whom I trusted, he who shared my bread, has lifted up his heel against me.”

(Psalm 41:9)

III.

CAUSES OF UNFORGIVENESS

Amazingly, the Ten Boom’s little home became the hub of the underground network.

From their secret hiding place, the fingers of the underground reached into the farthest corners of Holland.

As those of the Ten Boom family lived their double lives, they shuffled the hunted Jews into their one-room hiding place for sometimes up to two weeks, while members of the underground sought to slip the stowaways out of the country to safety.

Meanwhile, Corrie lived with the constant fear that they could be caught … and with reason.

The family was betrayed by a fellow watchmaker whom Corrie’s father had trained a few years earlier.

As a result of this treachery, Corrie never embraced her father again nor delighted in the presence of her beloved sister Betsie.

How could Corrie not be consumed with bitterness toward this “friend” who betrayed them?

Many have suffered the severity of these words … Psalm 41:9

A. Why Is It So Difficult to Forgive?

People fail to forgive others for a variety of reasons.

For example, when you have been deeply offended by a friend, forgiveness can make you feel emotionally “flat.”

In contrast, withholding forgiveness can make you feel emotionally pumped.

Therefore, you may refuse to forgive the friend who offended you because of pride.

The Bible states it this way … Proverbs 18:19

Barriers to Forgiveness

• No modeling of forgiveness from parents

— “I don’t know how to forgive.”

• Denying that the offense ever occurred

— “I don’t want to think about it.”

• Fearing to hold the guilty accountable

— “It’s really all my fault.”

(This kind of thinking short-circuits the reality and the pain of being wronged.)

• Not feeling that you can forgive yourself

— “No mercy for me—no mercy for you.”

• Not being forgiven for your past offenses

— “They didn’t forgive me—why should I forgive them?”

• Not understanding God’s forgiveness

— “God will never forgive me—I will never forgive her.”

• Believing that bitterness is a required response to betrayal

— “God knows that my feelings are normal.”

• Thinking that forgiveness is excusing unjust behavior

— “I’m not about to say that what she did was okay!”

• Requiring an apology or show of repentance

— “He shouldn’t be forgiven because he’s not really sorry.”

• Feeling a sense of power by hanging on to unforgiveness

— “He needs to see how wrong he is!”

• Refusing to turn loose of revenge

— “He should pay for what he’s done.”

• Harboring a prideful, hardened heart that becomes a spiritual stronghold

— “I refuse to forgive.”

These barriers to forgiveness ought to be considered in light of the scripture Proverbs 28:14

“Blessed is the man who always fears the Lord, but he who hardens his heart falls into trouble.”

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Question: “What should I do if I don’t want to reap the damaging results of unforgiveness?”

Answer:

Choose to change your thinking and consciously ask God to soften your heart so that you will be willing to forgive.

Unforgiveness can turn into an emotional stronghold that can damage many areas of your life.

You do have control of what you dwell on.

That is why the Bible says we are to …2 Corinthians 10:5

That is why the Bible says we are to …

“Take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

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B. How Does the Need for Justice Contribute to Unforgiveness?

We feel outraged when justice is denied.

Thus, the cry for justice is common from everyone … everyone except the guilty person waiting to receive justice!

Then the cry is not for justice, but for mercy.

Those needing mercy appreciate Psalm 51:1

“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.”

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But why is the need for justice so strong and natural, and why is forgiveness so difficult and unnatural?

But why is the need for justice so strong and natural, and why is forgiveness so difficult and unnatural?

Three reasons:

1. God has instilled within every human heart a sense of right and wrong; therefore, we feel a need for justice when we are wronged.

Romans 2:15

“The requirements of the law are written on their hearts [on the hearts of even the heathen].”

Based on the law, forgiveness seems inappropriate and unnatural.

2. Based on the law, forgiveness seems inappropriate and unnatural.

2. Based on the law, forgiveness seems inappropriate and unnatural.

Deuteronomy 19:21

“Show no pity: life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot.”

Because God is a God of justice, somebody has to pay.

That Somebody was Jesus.

The death of Jesus on the cross fulfilled the justice of God.

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In the same way that God needed to have His justice satisfied by Jesus’ dying on the cross, shouldn’t we expect justice before we extend mercy and forgiveness?

3.

Because God is a God of justice, somebody has to pay.

That Somebody was Jesus.

The death of Jesus on the cross fulfilled the justice of God.

In the same way that God needed to have His justice satisfied by Jesus’ dying on the cross, shouldn’t we expect justice before we extend mercy and forgiveness?

In the same way that God needed to have His justice satisfied by Jesus’ dying on the cross, shouldn’t we expect justice before we extend mercy and forgiveness?

The truth is that although everyone must face God’s justice, Jesus was the payment for everyone’s wrongs.

While governments execute justice, individually we are to extend mercy.

We are to leave individual justice to God.

The Bible exhorts us to …Luke 6:36

“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”

C. How Is a Spiritual Stronghold Developed?

In a military war, if your enemy gains a “foothold,” that means your enemy has gained some of your ground.…

Your enemy has taken some of your territory.

Now, with that foothold, your foe has a secure base from which there can be further advance.

If you have been hurt and as a result harbor anger in your heart, realize that your unresolved anger can be a foothold for the enemy.