The Training Years

Jab 1: At the beginning of this series I told you that the Bible is the ultimate source for successful parenting. What I also want you to understand is that in the Bible we find great examples of how not to parent and can see the effects of bad parenting. So let me take a moment to introduce you to some “parenting failures”.

Isaac - Played favorites with his children, favoring Esau over Jacob (his wife Rebekah favored Jacob over Esau)(Gen 25:28). This created some serious sibling rivalry, as Jacob first stole Esau's birthright (Gen 25:29-34), and later Esau's blessing from Isaac (Gen 27:1-36). As a result, Esau planned to kill Jacob, so Jacob had to run away (Gen 27:41-45).

Jacob - Two of his sons, Simeon and Levi, went into a city and killed every male because one man had raped their sister. They then looted the town, and took all the children and wives. For this, they only got a verbal rebuke from Jacob (Gen 34). Later, another of his sons, Reuben, slept with his concubine (Gen 35:22). In addition, yet another son, Judah, had sex with and impregnated his own daughter-in-law (Gen 38:16-30).

Just as his father Isaac and mother Rebekah did, Jacob played favorites with his children, favoring Joseph over his other sons (Gen 37:3-4). For this, Joseph's brothers hated him and eventually sold him into slavery (Gen 37:26-28). They covered this up by lying to their father Jacob (just as Jacob had done earlier in his life), telling him Joseph had been killed by wild animals (Gen 37:31-35).

David - Perhaps the most important man in the Old Testament, he was also perhaps the worst father. Look at what his four famous sons did:

1. Adonijah: Laid claim to David's kingdom when David was on his death bed (1 Kin 1). David made Solomon king instead, but after David died, Adonijah tried again to make a play for the throne (1 Kin 2:10-23). For this, his brother Solomon killed him (1 Kin 2:24-25). (In [1 Kin 1:6], it says David had not rebuked Adonijah at any time.)

2. Amnon: Raped his half-sister Tamar (2 Sam 13:11-14). For this, his brother Absalom killed him (1 Sam 13:28-29).

3. Absalom: In addition to killing his brother Amnon, he had his servants set Joab's barley field on fire (2 Sam 14:30), took control of David's kingdom (2 Sam 15:13-14), slept with David's 10 concubines on the roof of the palace (2 Sam 16:21-22), and then tried to have David killed (2 Sam 17). He was killed by Joab for doing these things to David (2 Sam 18:14-15).

4. Solomon: In addition to killing his brother Adonijah, he was ordered by David on his death bed to kill Joab (1 Kin 2:5-6) and Shimei (1 Kin 2:8-9) and he did so (1 Kin 2:28-34)(1 Kin 2:36-46). Later in life, he had 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 Kin 11:3), and these many wives turned his heart away from God towards idols (1 Kin 11:4-10). God called his son Rehoboam an "evil king" (2 Chr 12:14). His mother, one of Solomon's wives, was from the evil city of Ammon (1 Kin 14:31)(2 Chr 12:13). He was so wicked that the 10 northern tribes of Israel seceded from his rule, and set up their own kingdom with Jeroboam as their king (1 Kin 12:16-24). (Solomon had tried to kill Jeroboam earlier (1 Kin 11:40) .) Following in his father's footsteps, he had numerous wives and concubines 2 Chr 11:21).

Jab 2: Adrian Rogers, former president of the Southern Baptist Convention, tells about the man who made his sons work in the cornfields while their peers spent the afternoon at the swimming hole. Someone scolded the father saying, "Why do you make those boys work so hard? You don't need all that corn." The wise father replied, "Sir, I'm not raising corn. I'm raising boys."

Right hook: We continue in our series, Parenting Through Proverbs. Today we are talking about the Training Years. These are the years where a firm foundation can be formed. These are the years that can forever change the future of your child. It is also one of the most exhausting and trial filled times of parenting. What should we as parents do to train up our kids properly? This morning we will take a look at what the Bible says.

Pray.

Read: Proverbs 3:5-8

Explanation (10 min):

The Proverbs, although not promises of God, are filled with wisdom that we should apply to our everyday lives. If we were to live by these words, our lives would be completely different. Our families would be different. Our children would be different. God’s wisdom is always better! We must train up our children in God’s wisdom. There are two foundations that I want to look at this morning that we must train up our our kids in.

Application (10 min):

Train Them in the Word

We know that education is very important. Every parent wants their child to be smart, to be capable. Often times though we focus on the education that ultimately is temporary. We must as parents train our children in the things that are eternal. The things that will never pass away. This only is available through the study of God’s Holy Word.

2 Tim 3:16-17

2 Timothy 3:16–17 ESV

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.

Psalm 119:105

Psalm 119:105 ESV

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.

Matthew 24:35

Matthew 24:35 ESV

Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.

If you desire for your child to be successful in this life, then train them up in God’s Word. It is amazing what God’s Word does in times of heartache, joy, and need. Within these pages is the answers to the most pressing questions. If you are able to give your child an opportunity at this type of foundation then you are doing well as a parent.

Train Them in Service

In a world where “me, me, me” is the norm, it is that much more imperative that we raise a generation of kids that become “others” focused. Service should be a priority in our families. As disciples we must understand that Jesus set the precedent when it come to serving others.

Mark 10:45 says.

Mark 10:45 ESV

For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

If Jesus served then we too must make it a part of our identity. Galatians 5:13

Galatians 5:13 ESV

For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

1 Peter 4:9-11

1 Peter 4:9–11 ESV

Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

When we raise our children to be rooted in Scripture, then it will translate into their service to others. Serve together as a family. Let them see you serve and let them participate in the service. Teach them the value of giving. Showing them selflessness help them live selfless lives. Serve your children so that they see their value and you love. Train them in Service!

Conclusion: The training years are difficult but it is worth all the effort. When you are tired, press on. When times are stressful, that’s when it is extremely important to show them how godly people respond. The training years will help set the stage for the rest of their lives. Do you or have you taken the time to train your child in the word and in service? Have you invested in a young person’s life that they might get a glimpse of Godly living? This is our call church! Parents, let’s commit to training up our children to walk in righteousness.