Sermon Tone Analysis

I’m having a surgery this week.

It’s to remove part of my thyroid.

The doctors say everything should be easy.

I’m not worried about the surgery itself.

My concern is my voice.

The handful of people I know who’ve had this surgery, have had the very rare affect of losing their voice, or having it affected.

I’d rather that not happen.

This morning as I was thinking about that, I was thinking, if this was my last sermon, would I want this to be how I go out.

Would this be the sermon, I finish my time as a preacher preaching?

If I had it my way, I’d like to have a sermon like Jonathan Edwards, Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God.

Something that goes down in history as a powerful, life changing message.

I then drifted back to something I heard about John Calvin this past week.

John Calvin became pastor of the church in Geneva.

He preached faithfully from the word.

But after 2 years, he was run out of town.

After he was run out the people of Geneva realized they’d run out a great preacher.

So they called Calvin back.

His first week back he preached right where he left off 2 years earlier.

As if to say that he will preach what Scripture says, and not be motivated by his surroundings.

That said, would I like to go out with a bang?

Sure I would.

But this isn’t about me is it.

This is about God and His revelation to man.

This is about opening up God’s Word and proclaiming it to you.

So … if this is the last time I get to stand up and preach.

I hope I am faithful to the Lord’s text.

Pray

Introduction

Are you familiar with Murphy’s Law?

Murphy’s Law says that if something can go wrong it will.

The other day I was at a coffee shop with a few of our guys.

He’s crying.

While there, a little boy, looked like he was maybe 2 or 3, was left outside on the patio, while his mom bought her cup of coffee.

Here are some examples.

There was the boy, at the door.

His head on the window.

Just crying away.

Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to go to the rest room.Law of Gravity - Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre.Guy's Variation Rider - If you change queues or traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

This also works in supermarkets and shops.Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.Decree of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

This is also the case if you are female and you have gone out with no makeup and wearing your worst clothes and with greasy hair.Murphy's Office Law - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Will also finds this when he shows someone that something on the computer is easy and it doesn't work.Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.Law of the Theatre - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.The Starbucks Edict - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.Murphy's Law of Lockers -If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.Law of Physical Surfaces -The chances of an open-faced marmalade sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet.The Conundrum of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the shoe fits, it's ugly.Oliver's Rule of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Will's favourite!Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.Doctors'

Law- If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.

Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.Will and Guy's Law - If you don't save things on your computer you will, sooner rather than later, delete them.

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

“Mommy.”

I felt bad for the little guy.

I could see his mom.

He could see his mom.

Any tool, or screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

But he thought he was abandoned out there.

Forgotten in the coffee shop patio.

The probably of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

As a child, my family would take trips to Magic Mountain.

If you lie to your boss you were late because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will get a flat tire.

All the kids would go together.

If you change lanes on the freeway to get into a faster one, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are now in.

My sister Jessie, would usually get motion sickness at some point.

This same rule applies to grocery stores and Costco.

My parents were going to let her motion sickness ruin the day.

They’d find a bench outside the nearest ride.

Lay her down on it, and say, just lay here till we get back.

We’d go on the ride, and Jessie’s gone.

No where to be found.

We’d look everywhere.

When you try to show how great a piece of technology is, it will not work.

Finally, we’d go to security.

And there she was, on the chair.

My parents would ask what happened, and security said there was this girl alone on a bench.

The severity of an itch is directly proportional to how hard it is to reach the itch.

My mom would ask Jessie if she knew where we were.

This one I experience quite often, if there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have lockers right next to each other.

She’d say yes.

The chance of dropping a piece of food, face down onto either the floor or clothing is related to how new it is and how much it cost.

That is Murphy’s Law.

Then my mom would ask, “Why didn’t you tell the security guard we were on the ride?”

If it can go wrong, it will go wrong.

Murphy’s Law proves that we are in a fallen world.

Jessie said, “They didn’t ask.”

Things will not be easy.

My favorite example of being lost is when you’re in Target, or Wal-Mart, and you hear over the intercom, “Jane Smith, would you come to customer service.

You’re daughter is lost.”

Things will not be perfect.

I like to put a different twist on it.

I’m pretty sure it gets Amanda irritated.

If something can go wrong, it will go wrong.

Murphy’s law can be cute and ironic at times.

Cause there’s nothing I love more than hearing, “Amanda Kirkendall, would you come to customer service.

Your husband is lost.”

But there are other times, Murphy’s law is not only not cute, but it’s downright torturous.

I look for a chance to leave her, just so I can do that.

But the truth is there are many times we are lost.

So today, we will look at 4 ways to live in a fallen world.

We will be in .

Again, it’s a big passage, so we won’t read all of it.

We may not be lost in the same way that:

A child gets lost in a coffee shop patio.

I’ll signpost each of the points so that you know where we are.

Or a girl gets lost in an amusement park.

Or a husband gets lost in Target.