The Value of a Friend

(Friends and Family Day May 27, 2007 - PPHC)

Consider these thoughts from Chuck Swindoll:

"An old Marine Corp buddy of mine, to my pleasant surprise, came to know Christ after he was discharged. I say surprise because he cursed loudly, fought hard, chased women, drank heavily, loved war and weapons, and hated chapel services.

A number of months ago, I ran into this fellow, and after we’d talked awhile, he put his hand on my shoulder and said, ’You know, Chuck, the only thing I still miss is that old fellowship I used to have with all the guys down at the tavern. I remember how we used to sit around and let our hair down. I can’t find anything like that for Christians. I no longer have a place to admit my faults and talk about my battles -- where somebody won’t preach at me and frown and quote me a verse.’

It wasn’t one month later that in my reading I came across this profound paragraph: ‘The neighborhood bar is possibly the best counterfeit that there is to the fellowship Christ wants to give his church. It’s an imitation, dispensing liquor instead of grace, escape rather than reality -- but it is a permissive, accepting, and inclusive fellowship. It is unshockable. It is democratic. You can tell people secrets, and they usually don’t tell others or even want to. The bar flourishes not because most people are alcoholics, but because God has put into the human heart the desire to know and be known, to love and be loved, and so many seek a counterfeit at the price of a few beers. With all my heart I believe that Christ wants his church to be unshockable, a fellowship where people can come in and say, ’I’m sunk, I’m beat, I’ve had it.’ Alcoholics Anonymous has this quality -- our churches too often miss it.’"

Perhaps there is no better example of this than the television Sitcom “Cheers.” The theme song says, “Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came; You want to be where you can see, Our troubles are all the same; You want to be where everybody knows your name!”

Text: Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 - The Value of a Friend
(9)“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. (10) For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. (11) Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? (12) Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.”
The writer of Ecclesiastes wants us to understand that Friendship is a good investment (v. 9). When the author says in verse nine, “Two are better than one, because they have good reward for their labor” the words “good reward” can also be translated “good return” for it means -dividends paid on a wise investment. One of the best investments you will ever make in life will not be a financial one, but rather the investment made in relationships. We will get the best return on that investment over any other investment that we will ever make. As we go through life there are two kinds of things we can give our lives to. Some people try to accumulate possessions. They are constantly trying to get more or better stuff. It is attributed to the late Malcolm Forbes to have said, “He who dies with most toys wins.” If we spend all our lives trying to accumulate more and more possessions, we will never truly be happy and fulfilled. On the other hand we can decide to focus on building relationships, trying to make friends and to be a friend. The first half of Proverbs 18:24 says, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly…”
Now I want us to turn our attention for the next few moments to four characteristics of a real friend.

I. A Real Friend Helps You When You’re Down

(v.10) “For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.”

A. Real Friends
1. You may have a lot of acquaintances in your life but few that you could call “real friends’”

Quote: Someone said, “You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.” A true friend loves you even when you fail. (Brian Bolton)

2. “How can you tell the difference between acquaintances and friends.” That’s easy, just get in trouble. The people that are still around are your real friends. (The prodigal son)

Illustration: Two men were out hunting in the northern U.S. Suddenly one yelled and the other looked up to see a grizzly charging them. The first started to frantically put on his tennis shoes and his friend anxiously asked, "What are you doing? Don't you know you can't outrun a grizzly bear?" "I don't have to outrun a grizzly. I just have to outrun you!" (Sermon Illustrations)

3. The story of the paralytic: Luke 5:17-26

a. Jesus had started his public ministry and the multitudes came – spoke and healed with authority.

b. The friends of a paralytic heard about Him (Answer); decided to bring him to Jesus (realized his case was hopeless…unless he received a supernatural touch)

c. The crowd was so large that they couldn’t get the man into Jesus.

1. They climbed on top of the roof, cut a hole in it, and lowered the man to Jesus, who healed the man.

d. These friends cared enough to overcome every obstacle in bringing him to Christ.

4. A friend is the kind of person if you call them at 2:00 in the morning and tell them you need them. They don’t ask, “So what’s the problem” and then decide whether or not to come. They simply ask, “Where are you?” as they are getting dressed.

5. Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.”

A real friend is one who multiplies joys and divides grief. (Mark Perryman)

· A real friend helps you when you’re down… and

II. A Real Friend Is Warm In the Cold Times of Life. (v. 11)

· “Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone?”

Illustration: My father as a POW….if he had not had friends to lay beside him…he would have frozen when temps dipped to 40 below zero.

A. We Need Help In Facing Situations Beyond Our Control
1. “How am I going to make it through this right now?!” (That’s when we need a friend)

C.S. Lewis: “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You, too? I thought I was the only one.’ ” (Mark Perryman)
Proverbs 17:17 “…a friend loves at ALL times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
Very Exhausting People….(sap all of your energy) vs. Very Encouraging People

1. Very Encouraging People fill your emotional gas tank. (Decide to be an encourager)

A Real Friend Is Warm in the Cold Times of Life…

III. A Real Friend Is Someone Who Will Protect You. (v. 12)

“Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.”

Illustration: The story is told of Hall of Famer Jackie Robinson, a 6 Time All Star ; NL MVP 1949; Rookie of the Year 1947; Appeared in 6 World Series, and the first African-American to play major league baseball. In his first seasons with the Brooklyn Dodgers, Jackie Robinson faced venom practically everywhere he traveled--fastballs at his head, spikings on the bases, brutal name-calling from the opposing dugouts and from the crowds. During one game in Boston, the taunts and racial slurs seemed to reach a peak. In the midst of this, another Dodger, a Southern white man named Pee Wee Reese, called timeout. He walked from his position at shortstop toward Robinson at second base, put his arm around Robinson's shoulder, and stood there with him for what seemed like an eternity. The gesture spoke more eloquently than the words: This man is my friend. Robinson later said, “That arm around my shoulder saved my career.” (Baseball Hall of Fame & Willie Morris, Parade)

A. A Friend Will Protect You

1. Words were written based on the military strategy of the ancient world.

a. Soldiers went into battle with a partner, someone that trusted implicitly.

b. Almost all combat, was hand to hand combat.

c. The soldiers stood back to back of one another, and they always keep their backs in contact and fought whatever enemy came from any side.

1. Friends not only never stab you in the back, they guard your back.

B. Being a Friend is Being Willing to Risk What Others Think About You

1. If you stand up for a friend against his enemies then it naturally follows that they will also become your enemies. (i.e. Prime Minister Tony Blair for George W. Bush)

a. That’s what keeps a lot of people from being a good friend. They are afraid of what others think. (Brian Atwood)

C. We Need One Another; We Were Not Meant to Be Alone

1. Paul/Timothy, Mary/Martha, David/Jonathan, Ruth/Naomi, Moses/Aaron, Elijah/Elisha, Lone Ranger/Tonto, Batman/Robin, Andy/Barney Fife - (Patrick Bissig)

A Real Friend Is Someone Who Will Protect You and …

IV. A Real Friend Is Committed To Helping You Grow. (Proverbs 27:17)

“As iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend.” (NLT)

Illustration: A true friend stands behind you, supporting you. A woman and her husband, the mayor of a large city, were walking along the street one day when a construction worker on a nearby scaffolding leaned over and shouted, "Hello, Peggy." She turned to look and recognized him as being an old boyfriend from high school. She returned his greeting and they had a brief conversation before she and her husband continued their walk.

The mayor chuckled and said to his wife, "See there, if you had married that fellow, you’d be the wife of a construction worker."

She looked at him and said, "No, dear, if I’d married him, he would be the mayor of this city." (Dave McFadden)

A. A True Friend Wants to See You Continue to Grow.

1. The writer says that friends help to sharpen us, a little bit at a time.

a. He compares this kind of friendship to iron that is banged on by iron.

1. Think of a blacksmith who makes swords.

a. He takes a hammer and takes out a piece of iron and works on it slowly and continuously.

b. Blow by blow, it begins taking the shape and sharpness of a sword.

Friends are always challenging us and even pushing us to be all that God wants for us to be.

B. The Friend That Sticks Closer Than a Brother - Proverbs 18:24b

1. Would like to give you (3) three reasons to invite Jesus to be your Best Friend today.

He already knows you better than anyone else.

1. A real friend: Someone who knows all about you and likes you anyway.

He had done more for you than anyone else. (John 15:13- gave His life for you)
He will always be there when you need Him.

2. The words of the old hymn, “What A Friend We Have In Jesus” says it well;

“What a friend we have in Jesus, All our sins and griefs to bear

What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer.

Oh, what peace we often forfeit, oh, what needless pain we bear,

All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.”

(Joseph Scriven)

Conclusion
For those of you who cannot honestly say today that you have experienced a relationship with Jesus Christ I want to extend an invitation for you to do so today. I want to introduce you to someone who will be the greatest friend you have ever had.

I would like for everyone to repeat this prayer with me this morning. “ Lord Jesus, I want to be your friend and I am thankful that you want to be mine. I realize that I have sinned and that sin has separated me from you. I recognize that friendship would not be possible without that the fact that you have already paid for my sin on the cross. I want to accept what you have personally done for me. Lord please come into my life, forgive me of my sin, and be the leader of my life.”

(Bits and pieces borrowed from various sources unknown)