Evangelism: Compassionate yet Direct (4:16-19)

I can’t imagine I’m the only one here that, at times, avoids looking at themselves in the mirror. There are moments in your day in which a mirror is no one’s friend. Poorly placed and inconvenient bathroom mirrors or full body mirrors on the wall of your closet or bedroom – produce depression instead of offering any assistance.

If I’m fully ready for the day, I don’t mind one final look to make sure my hair is not disheveled and all my clothes are properly fastened, zipped, and straightened, otherwise keep the mirrors away.

Why? Because they don’t lie to you. Up to the point of looking in a mirror you’re able to live in a certain state of delusion and fantasy . . . “I really do look good!” and then bam! . . . a mirror, and the truth is revealed.

Why is it nearly every selfie is taken from above one’s face not below? Because, we want to present ourselves in the best possible manner. For the vast majority of us, the unvarnished truth concerning our appearance from every angle is far from encouraging.

When Jesus says, “Go call your husband,” he metaphorically forced her to face herself in the mirror or look at the triple chin up shot selfie. Of course, her natural reaction would be, I’d rather not.

But was this unkind of Jesus? Was his intention to shame her? Far from it.

Jesus compassionately yet directly confronted reality and then offered the hope filled remedy.

Jesus refused to stop the conversation until she understood. Clearly, Jesus has been directing her to spiritual truths throughout their conversations. We know that he hasn’t been talking about her need for physical water. He’s allegorically talking of himself as the satiation to her spiritual needs. She isn’t getting it. At each additional statement, we pause, eagerly viewing this conversation, expecting at every turn that she may finally get the point. When she responds with, “give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty,” I pause for a moment as if maybe she’s finally got the point. But she ends her statement with “or have to come here to draw water” (4:15). And the letdown. She still doesn’t get it. She is still viewing this entire conversation through a physical lens.

At this point, Jesus could have surrendered. He could have proverbially tossed his hands in the air in resignation. But, he doesn’t. He persists and approaches the conversation from a different angle and with less symbolism. “Go call your husband and come here” (4:16).

Suddenly Jesus jolted her to her senses with a single sentence. It was not unkind; everything he said to the woman was kind. Still it was a sentence that must have hit the poor woman like a sudden slap in the face and at once have exposed her most serious failing and deep guilt. Jesus said, “Go, call your husband and come back”[1]

Jesus doesn’t always do this. (1) Sometimes he leaves the religious leaders or the hypocritical or antagonistic in the dark. For instance, in , the disciples ask Jesus why he is speaking in parables. He responds by telling them of people who will never see or hear because their heart has grown dull. Throughout his ministry, Jesus consistently refuses to pursue those with hardened hearts. [Let me offer a caution. We can’t know whose heart is hardened.] (2) Sometimes his purpose in the healing or miracle extends beyond evangelistic purposes. At times Jesus emphasizes a greater truth about himself rather than pausing to minister to one specific individual. For instance, in , Jesus heals a man with a withered hand. He cares for someone physically, but in the passage, there is no indication that he ministers to the person spiritually. In fact, Jesus appears to simply be antagonizing the Pharisees by displaying his deity. Similarly, in , Jesus raises a widow’s son from the dead, and we see no evidence that he shared spiritual truths. In this miracle, all those who observed “glorify God” and acknowledge Jesus unique character. Jesus revealed his deity once again.

Other examples of Jesus persistence. (1) Nicodemus. John writes, in chapter three, of Jesus’ interaction with Nicodemus. Nicodemus as well struggled to understand the allusions Jesus discusses. “What do you mean, I must be born again?” Jesus refuses to leave Nicodemus confused. He persists in the conversation and finally makes one of the clearest gospel presentations in scripture, “God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.” (2) In chapter 9, John conveys the story of a man born blind. Jesus addresses this man’s physical issues and for a moment we are left wondering if he’s going to share his spiritual need. He doesn’t immediately, but instead allows the man to go. The following 28 verses (9:8-35) unfold this man’s unpleasant experience with the religious leaders. They grill him as to the identity of the man who healed him, even pulling in his parents for assistance. After having been cast from the temple, Jesus approaches him once again.

Jesus heard that they had cast him out, and having found him he said, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?” 36 He answered, “And who is he, sir, that I may believe in him?” 37 Jesus said to him, “You have seen him, and it is he who is speaking to you.” ( ESV).

In similar fashion, motivated by compassion, believers persist in their gospel presentation to those who are genuinely interested. Of course, we can’t always know who is interested so we should err on the side of persistence with all. Present day believers, just like those within the early church, can err on both sides. (1) At times we can persist in the gospel presentation to those who are clearly rejecting it. Jesus doesn’t model this type of evangelism and all of us have probably experienced enough to know that this doesn’t really work. (2) At times, we don’t persist at all. We assume people aren’t interested so we simply don’t share spiritual truths. Maybe cultural bias keeps us from sharing. Maybe someone’ expressions, mannerisms, or non-verbal communication appear to communicate indifference or hostility, so we choose to not move into spiritual conversations.

Jesus extends to this lone woman two commands. The first command, “go call your husband,” grabs her potentially fleeting attention and was the piercing “arrow for this Samaritan woman.”[2] The conversation transitions from being an awkward conversation about living water to prying into the depths of her privacy and sinfulness. Yet, this second command immediately follows. “Come here.” The one command effectively revealed her sinfulness. The second reveals Christ’s compassion and that he is the solution to her sinfulness.

I have wanted to emphasize Christ’s compassion throughout this story. However, at this point, compassion may not be the primary word that comes to your mind. Let me explain further. The woman’s answer and Jesus following statement can be understood in a couple ways. Some see Jesus as somewhat sarcastic if not passive aggressive and consider the woman to be evasive. Others consider Jesus compassionately direct and the woman genuinely intrigued and drawn in. [A sidenote, not likely needed in my message, this story is not an allegory. [3] ]

Woman evasive and Jesus passive aggressive? Some have concluded that the woman is being evasive throughout this interaction. Potentially both her statements, “I have no husband” and “Sir, I perceive you are a prophet,” may be intended to redirect the conversation away from her. Many presume that her second of those statements is clearly trying to redirect Jesus’ discussion about her sinfulness. “I don’t want to talk about all my husbands and my present live in partner. Instead, let’s talk about how you must be a prophet.” Barnes draws this conclusion. “Nothing is more common than for sinners to change the conversation when it begins to bear too hard upon their consciences.”[4] Often in similar moments, people put on a religious front, almost as if to say, “I don’t want to talk about my sinfulness or inconsistent religious life, but I’m okay talking about broad religious topics.”

I’ve experienced this on many occasions. I’ll be interacting with someone. Their language and jokes and demeanor are anything but religious or moral, and then they find out I’m a pastor. Often, they apologize for what they had said and may even ask about religious topics. This type of behavior is not abnormal, and it is possible that this woman was acting similarly.

As well, some conclude that Jesus is being more provocative than he is compassionate. “You’re telling me you don’t have a husband! You have five!” Almost as if the statement acknowledging what she said is true is said with a bit of sarcasm and shaming.

Jesus compassionate. So then, was Jesus being passive aggressive and somewhat sarcastic or was he being compassionate? I believe, in similar fashion to the prodigal son, Jesus met the woman where she was and didn’t force her to finish a summary of brokenness.

Luke unfolds the story of the prodigal son in . The youngest son goes away with his portion of his father’s inheritance. He spends all the money irresponsibly and ends up feeding the pigs. In the depths of his sin he decides to come back to his father. Before he’s able to get to his Father, his Father sees him coming and runs to him and embraces him. The son immediately attempts to explain and receive the position of a servant but the Father dismisses such nonsense and welcomes him home as a son once again.

I think that’s how Jesus treats this woman at the well. If this were a Pharisee, I would view his words differently and probably consider them to be more provocative. If this were a disingenuous and materially minded Jew (like so many who followed Jesus just for what he did for them) I would probably understand his words differently. “Instead of wringing the rest of the confession from the woman, Jesus makes it for her. It is a touch of his gentleness with the sinner. . . . How the woman came to have that many husbands we are not told and need not be told.” [5]

Jesus was not attempting to shame her for her immorality. I don’t think that he was even primarily attempting to display her guilt. Truly, she was guilty, but that’s not the primary point. The primary point is that Jesus had intimate and exhaustive knowledge of her personal life.

Now this He doth here also; for to have charged her first of all that, “Thou hast no husband,” would have seemed burdensome and superfluous, but to take the reason (for speaking) from herself, and then to set right all these points, was very consistent, and softened the disposition of the hearer.[6]

Jesus knows you. This is not the first time Jesus displayed intimate knowledge of someone. When Peter walks up to Jesus, in , Jesus looks at him and says, “You are Simon the son of John. You shall be called Cephas” (). And only a few verses later, he displays similar knowledge to Nathanael. “Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward him and said of him, “Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom there is no deceit!” 48 Nathanael said to him, “How do you know me?” Jesus answered him, “Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you” ().

Jesus knows you. This knowledge is not intended to place shame on you, but instead to draw you into a relationship in which you can live within the reality of what you truly are. There is no delusion with Jesus. He knows what we are. We know what we are. It’s all out on the table and instead of ignoring it or denying it, we embrace the reality and move towards transparency and helpful solutions instead of living with a delusion that we aren’t really sinful.

I know, as I say this, that for many the thought of sin is distasteful. Sin is unpopular, and Christians are often criticized for dwelling too much upon it. This is not because Christians love sin, however. It is simply because Christians are realists.[7]

Genuinely intrigued woman. As for the woman. She may have been a bit evasive. I would imagine most of us would have shied away from acknowledging all our baggage to some stranger at a well. But, I believe the conversation of this woman up to this point and her response in running to town and telling everyone about Jesus are evidence of her genuine interest. It’s possible she attempted to redirect the conversation by acknowledging Jesus as a prophet and the following discussion about the appropriate place of worship. On the other hand, in acknowledging Jesus as clearly a religious figure, she genuinely desired to understand appropriate worship. Chrysostom writes, “she not only doth not insult but admires, and is astonished at Him, and supposes Him to be a Prophet. . . . she not indignant, but was astonished and wondered.”[8] Michaels similarly writes in his commentary on John, “This does not mean that Jesus’ words made her feel guilty, or even that he intended them to. She is not so much convicted of sin as merely amazed at his knowledge of her past and present.”[9]

It is vital, for everyone of us, to initially (and regularly) acknowledge our sinfulness. That is the reality of our lives. But I don’t believe that means we are to dwell on our sinfulness. An acknowledgment of sinfulness is simply one of the necessary steps towards being enamored with Jesus.

Nothing can be concealed from His all-seeing eye. But this will not trouble you if everything has been brought out into the light, and confessed before Him.[10]

Our culture actively and purposefully rejects the notion of sin. They find it harmful to a person’s psyche. In their view, acknowledging sin is equivalent to shaming and produces low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. And in all honesty, an acknowledgment of sin without offering the hope of Christ would inevitably produce all those challenges. Their solution to this is to live a life of delusion and instead choose to reject the idea of sin.

On the other end of the spectrum are those Christians who accept the reality of sin, but they seem to wallow in it unceasingly. They see it in themselves and they see it in everyone else. They continually point it out in themselves and everyone else. And in so doing, they fail to ever step beyond the reality of our sinfulness and embrace the freedom from shame that is found in the forgiveness in Christ.

Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin. 1 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 2 For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. ().

The solution for our sin is not to deny its existence, but instead accept its reality as well as its solution. Christ is its solution, and it is to himself that Jesus directs this woman to look.

Of the two characters in the story, which do you first or primarily identify with? While I acknowledge I most assuredly can’t know anyone’s heart, I do feel like I have a good sense about people and even more so the modern believer. Likely we identify with Jesus first and foremost in this story. We don’t identify with him in the sense that we are as good as him, but we identify with him in the sense that we see him as a model to follow for evangelism. We may naturally view all these points, first and foremost, from his perspective. We should be compassionately persistent to those who are sincerely looking to Christ. We should be compassionately pointing people to the hope in Christ. We should graciously guide people to an awareness of their sinfulness.

Now it is true that we can look to Jesus as a model for evangelism in this story. But, we shouldn’t do that first. First, we should identify ourselves with the woman. We are first and foremost the woman in the story. We are the broken person consumed with sin in need of Christ as our hope.

Purpose statement. Realize you’re the woman at the well and that Christ reveals your sinfulness, not to shame you, but to allow you to both accept the reality of your circumstances and the hope that he brings to your brokenness.

[1] Boice, The Gospel of John, 2005, 283.

[2] Pink, 198.

[3] Boice, 284. Boice doesn’t accept this view but he does outline the view. “According to this view, the woman would stand for Samaria. The five husbands would stand for the five false gods to whom, it could be said, the Samaritans had married themselves. The sixth man, to whom they were not legally married, would stand for Jehovah whom the Samaritans worshiped, but ignorantly.”

[4] Barnes, Notes on the New Testament: Luke and John, 217.

[5] R.C.H. Lenski, The Interpretation of St. John’s Gospel (Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg Publishing House, 1961), 316–17. He goes on to write, “These five were at least legal husbands, for only so can the words be understood. The lax divorce laws may help to explain . . . Those five were bad enough, but now she is living with a man who is not even in loose legality her husband.:

[6] Saint Chrysostom: Homilies on the Gospel of St. John and Epistle to the Hebrews, 14:113.

[7] Boice, The Gospel of John, 2005, 284.

[8] Saint Chrysostom: Homilies on the Gospel of St. John and Epistle to the Hebrews, vol. 14, A Select Library of the Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers of the Christian Church, First Series (Christian Literature Company, 1889), 113.

[9] Michaels, The Gospel of John, 247. In the next page Michaels goes on to write, “As a Samaritan, she waits to hear whether Jesus will speak as just another partisan Jew, or as a true “prophet” whose words she can take seriously. . . . so the woman is not fully convinced that Jesus is actually a “prophet” whom the Samaritans can accept. Her question is meant to test him.”

[10] Pink, Exposition of the Gospel of John, 198.

Evangelism: Compassionate yet Direct (4:16-19)

Compassionately persistent to those who are sincere.

Compassionately pointing to the hope in Christ.

Compassionately acknowledging our sinfulness.

Conclusion