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Big Idea: Sex is a big deal to God. Handling sex God’s way should be a big deal to us.
*All Scripture is NIV unless otherwise noted
Hey guys!! , I’m so glad you’re here tonight. This night is a really important night. If you remember when we started this series, I said we were going to be talking about a three-letter word: [SLIDE] sex. Now, like I said in our first week, I know some of you just giggled when you see that word. Others of you got a little uncomfortable. Still others of you rolled your eyes. And then others of you are actually pay attention to the lesson for the first time ever! All of those responses I just outlined are completely normal and completely understandable. I’m simply going to
2 reminders
[SLIDE]
[SLIDE]
1. Listen to what God has to say about sex.
I want you to learn from Him, and He really has some important things to say about it.
[SLIDE]
2. Please don’t distract other from hearing what God has to say about this.
Sometimes, when we get uncomfortable with a topic, we’ll do things to try to feel a little more comfortable. We’ll crack a joke. We’ll look at others to see if they are as uncomfortable as we are; and if they are, we will do things to try to break the discomfort. In the process, we actually distract ourselves and others from what is going on.
Are we all in agreement? Good!
Now, some of you may be thinking, “Why are we talking about this at church?” There are a lot of reasons it is important for us to talk about sex, but here are
Two big reasons we are talking about sex.
[SLIDE]
1. God has a lot to say about it.
We’re going to really dive into this more in a bit, but this topic is big deal to God.
[SLIDE]
2. You are being bombarded with messages about it.
What I mean here is you are being bombarded with messages about this. Think through what you’ve watched, read and listened to in the past week; I’m going to guess this topic was somehow mentioned. And to be honest, a large amount of these messages do not match up with what God has to say about it.
So, if all of these are true, why would we not take time to talk about it in church?
If I could sum up where we are heading tonight in a short statement it would be this [SLIDE]:
Big Idea for tonight
Sex is a big deal to God. Handling sex God’s way should be a big deal to us.
Handling sex God’s way should be a big deal to us.
SEX IS A BIG DEAL TO GOD:
Let’s take a moment to dive in and pick apart that first statement: Sex is a big deal to God. How do we know this? For starters, God created sex.
Remember in our first week when I showed you this passage:
[SLIDE]
23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
I told you that these verses are showing the moment God created sex. I know it may not seem like that. But that line, “and they become one flesh;” that is an Old Testament way to talk about sex.
So God created it. Not only did He create it, he had a purpose in it.
There’s this really smart guy name Dennis Hollinger who is the president of Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary. He wrote a book where he talks about
Four reasons for God’s purposes for sex
[SLIDE]
1. Make Babies.
This Hollinger guy calls it procreation, but that’s just a fancy word for making a baby. God created sex as the way for us to continue populating the world. In , God gives His first command to the man and woman He created.
[SLIDE]
God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”
God looks at Adam and Eve and says, “Hey, go make babies!” How do you make babies? You have sex!
[SLIDE]
2. Make Marriage Official.
Smarty pants Hollinger uses another big word for this: consummation. Look at this verse again.
[SLIDE]
:
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
The idea is that the wedding ceremony (exchanging of vows, the ring, etc.) is the commitment to marriage, and the wedding night is the confirmation of the marriage.
[SLIDE]
3. Build Love and Intimacy.
God created it to be a very intimate act. It creates a connection in a way that is completely unique. It is meant to be something that brings a couple closer together.
[SLIDE]
4. Pleasure.
God could have made it something robotic. Instead, He set this act up to be something that is really enjoyable.
[SLIDE]
Go back to the first sentence. Sex is big deal to God.
Do you see it?
If it’s the key for the human race continuing… it’s kind of a big deal to God.
If it is the “seal the deal” moment to marriage… it’s pretty important to God.
If it builds love and intimacy… two things God is a big fan of, right?
And if He made it pleasurable… it’s kind of a sign that He was a fan, right?
There’s another aspect to this all that helps us grasp how big of a deal it is. It’s what we are going to call “God’s parameters.” A parameter is just a fancy word for rules, restrictions or boundaries. This is where we talk about the second part of our big idea: Handling sex God’s way should be a big deal to us.
Listen closely. This is SO IMPORTANT. Sex is so powerful and sin is so real that we have to be aware how Satan and our own desires apart from God (which the Bible calls “the flesh”), will really try to mess us up.
Throughout Scripture, God gives some clear instruction and guidelines when it comes to how we should handle sex. I don’t want to overcomplicate this all, so let me try to boil it down into
Two clear parameters for sex:
[SLIDE]
1. The time and place for it is marriage.
He set this in motion right away with Adam and Eve in . Let’s look at it one more time:
[SLIDE]
:
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
They are united in marriage, and then it happens. In Hebrews, Paul says this:
[SLIDE]
:
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
These verses (and many others) paint a pretty clear picture that this should only happen between a man and a woman who are married, and anything else is out of bounds.
2. Flee from sexual immorality.
Did you catch that phrase “sexually immoral” in the Hebrews verse? The Bible uses it, a form of it … like sexual immorality… a lot. That phrase basically means any sexual activity outside of the marriage. Let’s check out two other verses that talk about this whole sexual immorality thing.
[SLIDE]
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.
The phrase I want you to lock in on that verse… not a hint of sexual immorality.
[SLIDE]
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.
[SLIDE]
The phrase I want you to lock in here is… Flee from sexual immorality.
There’s something in us that loves to see what we can get away with before we get in trouble. A question we may ask at times is “How far is too far?” Do you see the flaw in the question when you compare it to the instruction in these two verses? At the core of “how far is too far” is trying to figure out how close we can get to the edge without going over. If our goal is to not even have a hint and our challenge is to flee, I’m not sure we should even be asking this question. Instead, maybe we should be asking, “How far away is too far away?”
It is important to make sure you hear this, but I want to be clear about something. God views sex as good. You see, I’m afraid some of you may be under the impression that God says, “Sex is bad.” And if you buy into that idea, you are going to be frustrated with God. Sex is good when it is handled the way God designed it to be. That’s why these parameters are here.
[SLIDE] Listen to me on this! Sex is a big deal to God, and handling sex God’s way should be a big deal to us.
Now before we close up on this topic, I want to pause and recognize a few different situations that may be present in this room.
First, there may be some of you here saying, “I haven’t handled sex God’s way. I messed up when I ______________________ (and you fill in the blank).” I’m sure there are some of you in here that have found yourselves where you went further than you had planned. Maybe others of you had no idea that this is the standard God is calling you to.
God loves you. God offers forgiveness and restoration. It starts with confessing that you have stepped outside of His parameters and letting Him know you want to handle things His way moving forward. We (your pastors and small group leaders) would love to help you see and experience this reality of forgiveness and restoration.
Secondly, there are others of you here who, outside of your control or choice, had someone take something from you physically which was not that person’s to take. You either said no, or maybe you didn’t even know how to say no, but you knew it was wrong. If that is you, hear me clearly … It is not your fault. It. Is. Not. Your. Fault. I am so sorry you have experienced this. God’s heart hurts that this has happened to you. You are loved. This does not need to be the end of the story for you. If you would like to talk about that, I am here, and so are the other leaders.
You too can experience healing and restoration. I’ve seen it happen, and it’s a beautiful thing.
Listen, you all have been amazing tonight. Thanks for letting us “go there” even with all of the awkwardness and importance that this topic brings. Go ahead and bow your heads and close your eyes. As you have sat tonight and listened to this, I wonder if you could agree with this prayer?
Prayer
“God, I know that sex is a big deal to you, and because it’s a big deal to you, I’m going to make handling sex Your way be a big deal to me.”
If that’s you, would you be willing to raise up your hand?
Awesome! I’d love to pray for you.
[Prayer]