Fruit of the Spirit - Gentleness
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Introduction
Today we come to the penultimate of the fruit of the Spirit, which is gentleness.
Think of a new born baby. It’s a couple of hours hold - still barely opening his or her eyes - still very sleepy.
And think of the baby’s father, holding the child.
Actually, when Bethany was born, Kate had to have an emergency cesarian section, and what I DIDN’T know was that once they get the baby out, they give it to the dad and kick him out of the operating theatre while they stitch up the mum.
It wouldn’t have made a difference if I had known, but at least I would have been prepared!
Because once Bethany came out, she was wrapped up and given to me. And there I was, no knowledge of WHAT on earth I’m doing, in a room by myself praying that they’ll be quick in theatre so I can give this baby back to Kate.
But then there’s the first time Bethany griped my finger. She was lying in the plastic cot they have in the hospital, I put my finger close to her hand and she holds onto it. And when she held onto my finger, my heart just melted.
It was gentle, it was soft, it was such a weak but beautiful thing.
Gentleness...
But that’s NOT the gentleness we’re looking at today!
Actually, we need to flip it around…The gentleness that we’re looking at is from the other perspective - the perspective of the father.
Because, despite the fact that I look slim and slender, I’m quite a big man…especially compared to a little baby only a few minutes old. I am big, and strong and I could squeeze this baby in my bear hands if I wasn’t careful, I could do some damage to this little child who is helpless and who is completely dependant on me.
And so, with that in mind, I hold this new baby gently. I don’t squeeze her too hard, because I have the power to crush her if I’m not careful. So I pick her up gently, and hold her gently. And when I hold HER tiny little hand, I do it ever so gently.
It’s not weak, it’s not powerless…in fact it’s the opposite - this gentleness comes from the fact that I DO have lots of power - power to hurt this child if I’m not careful…it’s power…but it’s under control.
Gentleness is power under control.
Pause
Now, those who have been at the midweek might recognise that phrase. It was used over a year ago when we started the beatitudes. It was used to describe the meekness of Jesus.
And guess what…the word for ‘gentleness’ in Galatians 5 is the same word for meekness in Matthew 5…
Gentleness and meekness are not words that describe someone who is weak or soft or helpless. These are not the words to describe a baby.
They are words to describe someone who is strong and powerful…but who has their power and strength under control and can therefore stoop down and pick up this tiny baby without hurting them.
And I use the words ‘stoop down’ carefully - because the word in the Greek also conveys the sense of humility.
I have the power to destroy you…but I am not going to use it…I’m going to be gentle with you - I will stoop down and place my power and strength under control, which is what a father does with a new born baby.
Pause
The Greek word for ‘gentleness’ or ‘meekness’ comes from the word Praus...
And Praus is a word that was used when taming wild animals. A wild animal that has been tamed is called praus.
Think of a lion being tamed for the circus, or think of a horse that is wild. It kicks and runs and is crazy. All that muscle and power is unleashed and the horse is bonkers. But a horse whisperer can brake a horse - the horse is broken and becomes tame.
All that power and muscle is there - but it’s under control. And that’s the difference. The horse now follows and is obedient to the will of its master. But it has to be broken first.
And when the horse is broken, it knows that it has this power, but it knows WHEN to use it and when NOT to use it…and having power and knowing NOT to use it requires humility - a kind of humility which needs to come from God himself. So you can see why meekness, gentleness and humility are all linked here.
This Fruit of the Spirit is the quality that we have where we KNOW we have power and strength from the Lord, but we know WHEN to use it and when NOT to use it.
Aristotle said this about Praus...
He defined praus as the mid-way-point between two extremes, specifically anger. In other words, you can have someone who is ALWAYS ANGRY and you can have someone who is ALWAYS ANGERLESS. Praus, or meekness, or gentleness is someone who is in the middle…
In other words…Someone who is Praus… is ONLY ANGRY at the right time and never angry at the wrong time.
And the example we have in this is Jesus Christ himself, who was gentle and meek.
Pause
And I mentioned this example at the midweek, but let’s look at it again...
Because, you see, we grow up with an image of ‘gentle Jesus meek and mild’ - of a kinda hippy with long hair and beard telling everyone to love each other…a man who would never say boo to a goose.
But that’s not what Jesus was like.
Think about it. Jesus is the Lion of Judah. He is God himself, with the power to crush us puny little humans like someone would crush a plum in their hands. He is all-powerful and all strong. And yet he humbled himself and suffered and died and LET HIMSELF be killed in order to show us his love and grace - that’s gentleness personified.
But he never lost his power and strength. In fact, let’s look at when Jesus was angry at the right time.
John 2:13-15
13 When it was almost time for the Jewish Passover, Jesus went up to Jerusalem. 14 In the temple courts he found people selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. 15 So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables.
So Jesus comes into the temple and he sees the people exchanging money and all the hindrances that they put on worship, and he is enraged.
Is this gentle Jesus, meek and mild?
Cos I often picture the scene as if Jesus comes in, sees what’s happening and is in a fit of rage and starts turn over the tables. That’s NOT what happened.
Jesus comes in to the temple, sees what’s happening, is angered by it, and he does what? Look at verse 15… He makes a whip of cords.
That takes time. This isn’t an incident when Jesus flips out in the heat of the moment - Jesus is calculated here. He deliberately makes a whip to drive these people out. This is NOT weakness. This is NOT a doormat. And this is ALSO NOT Jesus going wild and flipping out.
This is power under control. To go and make a whip of cords means that Jesus is controlled. Jesus has all the power of heaven at his fingertips - he could strike them all down instantaneously, but he doesn’t. This is meekness - this is power under control.
But at the same time, he is angry with the way the religious leaders have treated his Father’s house so he still brings them to account.
But it’s NOT weakness…This is meekness, this is gentleness.
Another example is in Matthew 23...
13 “But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. For you neither enter yourselves nor allow those who would enter to go in.
15 Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you travel across sea and land to make a single proselyte, and when he becomes a proselyte, you make him twice as much a child of hell as yourselves.
25 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence.
Jesus is coming down HARD on the scribes and pharisees - the experts on the law - the Jewish leaders, the heads of the church...call them what you will - cos they are NOT leading the way they are supposed to, and they are NOT behaving the way the should.
They shut the kingdom of heaven in peoples faces through their rules and burdensome regulations that are unnecessary.
They travel to convert people and when they do they corrupt them into being and behaving just like them.
They clean the outside of the cup - in other words, they look great from the outside. They dress well, they keep the law and they LOOK perfect, but inside they are full of sin, greed, self-indulgence.
Now, once again, is this gentle Jesus meek and mild? Jesus doesn’t hold back here. He’s on their case and in their face.
This is being angry at the right time.
Pause
But Jesus is NEVER angry at the wrong time. 1 Peter 2:21-23
21 For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. 22 He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. 23 When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.
Here’s our example - Jesus Christ who, when he was reviled he did not revile in return, when he suffered he did not threaten but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.
So when people turned on Jesus, he didn’t react. He wasn’t a doormat or a walkover - he simply entrusted himself to the Father, knowing that God will judge justly. He didn’t react. He didn’t strike them down.
But what about the other examples? Surely he fought back then?
Well, when the offence was against the Father and what the Father was all about - mercy, love, care for the poor and the widow and orphan - when people went against that, Jesus was on their case. When people went against Jesus, he entrusted himself to the Father.
What do you call someone like that? Meek.
Pause
Another way the word for gentleness was used in the Greek was for a soothing medicine or a gentle breeze.
[A gentle person is like a soothing medicine]
Think of meekness like a bottle of Gaviscon.
If anyone has had heartburn you’ll know what I mean. Now I don’t seem to experience heartburn in my stomach - I experience it in the back of my throat. And when it happens it’s like I can’t breathe…it’s not a nice feeling. But all i need is a swig of Gaviscon. I don’t even measure it out, I just knock it back from the bottle.
And the relief is instantaneous. It’s like putting out a fire.
That’s what gentleness is like....a soothing medicine.
And someone who is gentle like this is a person who can come alongside someone else - perhaps someone who is in trouble. Perhaps someone who is caught in sin. And the gentle person will be like a soothing medicine to them.
Because if someone is caught in sin and is struggling with sin, chances are they KNOW they are. They don’t need someone to tell them they’re going to Hell. They don’t need someone to condemn them.
What they need is someone to come alongside and bring them to account gently, encouraging them to get back to the Lord and repent of their sin.
THAT’S what they need - not condemnation. Sadly, in many churches, that’s exactly what they get. But we’re in no place to condemn.
What they need is that gentle person - who has the right to say, ‘that’s despicable! How could you DO that?’ but who doesn’t. They have the power under control, and instead they say, ‘listen, we all sin. We all make mistakes. Let’s bring this before the Lord and ask for his forgiveness, and I’m going to help you get through this.’
Can you see the difference that makes?
That’s a gentle person.
And chances are, someone who is like that is someone who has been on the other side before. They are someone who HAS BEEN THERE - they are someone who has been in a place themselves and either they have received the grace and love and support of a gentle person themselves, and they know that it’s exactly what someone else needs....
OR perhaps they’ve had the opposite - instead they got judgement and condemnation when all they wanted was some love and grace, because they KNEW they had slipped up.
That person is a gentle person. And it’s why I am trying to encourage discipleship here, because we can be that soothing medicine to other people.
Pause
Martin Lloyd Jones wrote this - that it is easier to humble ourselves before God and confess our sin and our unworthiness and uncleanliness, but it is SO MUCH MORE DIFFICULT to allow others to do it.
And he’s right. We are happy to come in our own quiet place and confess our sin before God and mourn over our inability to live as Christians, but if SOMONE ELSE challenges us about our lifestyle or sin, it is SO DIFFICULT to accept that with grace and say, ‘you know what, you’re right.’ Instead we get affronted and annoyed and we kick up a fuss.
But if the person who is confronting their sin does it with gentleness and meekness and humility…it can be a soothing medicine to them.
Pause
So gentleness is not being a walkover or being a nice person. It’s a fruit of the Spirit, given to us as a manifestation of the Spirit of God living in us, and it makes us more like Jesus, because it shows us that we do need to stand up against injustice. It shows us that we do need to stand up against sin and those who oppose the gospel.
But it also shows us that there is also a time to be that soothing medicine - that we know when not to say, ‘I told you so,’ or, ‘you deserve what’s coming to you,’ but instead we say, ‘hey, we’ve all been there. What you’re doing isn’t right and you need to stop it, but I’m not going to condemn you. Jesus shows us grace and love and I’m going to do the same to you. And I’m going to walk you through this.’
What a difference a gentle person can make to the life of a church. What a difference a church-full of gentle people could make to the life of a community.
Let’s ask the Spirit for this right now.
Let’s pray.