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A man reputed to be very wealthy never gave a cent to charity.  An eager beaver working on a hospital drive resolved to break through this stone wall.  By talking to a number of people he got extensive information on the man’s income and assets.  Then he went to the man’s office and after his heartrending talk said:

            “I understand you have some half million dollars in stocks, a million dollars in bonds, and hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of real estate.  Your stocks have doubled in value in just the past year and you have struck oil on your property in Texas.”

            The man said politely:

            “You have obviously done a lot of research on me.  I’m impressed.  You know a great deal about me.  But you didn’t say anything about my brother in Colorado.”

            “Your brother?”

            “Yes. He lost his job about a year ago, he can’t find another his house has been foreclosed, and he and his wife and six children are absolutely down and out and have no one to turn to but me.”

            The man continued: “sand you didn’t say anything about my sister.”

            “Your sister?”

            “Yes, She’s been sick and crippled up for years.  Can’t even pay her doctor, bills to live in one little rented room above a store.  Has no one to turn to but me.”

            The man went on in the same vein telling about the miseries and poverty of his old father, an uncle, and a niece.  With that the embarrassed fund raiser arose apologetically.

            “I’m sorry I didn’t know about all of them.  What you’ve told me helps me to understand why you turned us down.”

            “Good.  I Thought it would,” said the man.  “I don’t give a dime to any of them so I don’t see why you should expect me to help you.”

Humor in Public Speaking, J. Edward Day, page 105