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            As psychiatrists we cringe whenever patients use the word can’t.  They say, for example, “I just can’t get along with my husband.”  “My husband and I just can’t communicate.”  “I can’t seem to discipline my children the way I should.”  “I can’t give up the affair I am having.”  “I can’t find a job.”  “I can’t stop overeating.”  “I can’t love my wife – I’ve tried.”

            Any good psychiatrist knows that “I can’t” and “I’ve tried” are merely lame excuses.  We insist that our patients be honest with themselves and use language that expresses the reality of the situation.  So we have our patients change their can’ts to won’ts.  Let’s substitute the word won’t in each of the statements made above.  “I just won’t get along with my husband.”  “My husband and I just will not communicate.”  “I will not discipline my children the way I should.”  “I won’t give up the affair I am having.”  “I will not find a job.”  “I won’t stop overeating.”  “I won’t love my wife – I’ll make a halfhearted effort at loving her but I won’t quite succeed.”

Happiness is a Choice, Frank B. Minirth, M.D. and Paul D. Meier, M.D., page 132