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            During a homicide trial in Nassau County, NY., the witness had just stated that he saw the victim lying on the ground, obviously dead.  The defense lawyer rose to his feet and conducted the following cross-examination:

            “Sir, are you a doctor?”

            “No,” replied the witness.

            “Well, are you a paramedic?”

            “No, I’m not,” the witness stated.

            “Have you ever gone to medical school?”

            “Never,” was the answer.

            “Then tell me, sir, how do you know that the victim was indeed dead?”

            “Well,” responded the witness, “I went to his funeral.”

Reader’s Digest, July 1996, page 58