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Things you don't want to hear during surgery

THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR DURING SURGERY

1.       Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

2.   Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop

3.   Bo! Bo! Comeback with that! Bad Dog!

4.   Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

5.   Hand me that...uh...that uh... thingie

6.   Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.

7.   Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?

8.   Oh, man, there go the lights again...

9.   "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of
'em.

10.   Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

11.   Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my
concentration off.

12.   What's this doing here?

13.   I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.

14.   That's cool! now can you make his leg twitch?!

15.   I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.

16.   Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.

17.   Steril, shcmeril. The floor's clean, right?

18.   What do you mean he wasn't in for a heart transplant!

19.   Anyone see where I left that scalpel?

20.   And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of
the ape.

21.   OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of
nature.

22.   Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?

23.   Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

24.   What do you mean "You want a divorce"!

25.   She's gonna blow! Everyone take cover!!!

26.   FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!