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Ratebook. A wife who was left alone
evening after evening started to keep a
"hate book," making careful note of the
time her husband was not at home. She
wrote down the exact number of minutes
he was with her during his waking hours
— only two evenings in seven weeks, most
often dining out with business associates.
She recorded it all, waiting for an ap­
propriate time to face him with the
devastating statistics. Meanwhile, God
began to work in her heart. He showed
her that her bitterness made the few
minutes she did have with her husband
doubly unhappy. The thought came:
"Why not make those moments together
interesting and pleasant?" So the hate
book was thrown into the fire and the
brief intervals with her husband were
packed full of love and laughter. Within
weeks he began to spend more time at
home, and soon afterwards he faced up to
the way he had been shortchanging his
family.                                  Lionel Whiston

A decision. If a couple thinks of love as a feeling, they can become embittered when it seems to dissolve over the years. If they see it as a decision — commitment — they will realize that they determine when love is present or not.        Philip Yancey

Married   teams   — couple-owned

business ventures — are on the rise. The number of proprietorships jointly owned by a husband and wife rose an astounding 82% over the last five years. That's more than the increase in women-owned businesses and men-owned businesses combined.        Frank and Sharon Barnett

Mealtime. Graduate students at the University of Chicago, when asked where they got their major ideas in morals alnd religion, replied, "Through the conversa­tion in our family at mealtime."

 Dr. W.T. Thompson

A father does not simply make up stan­dards to suit himself. He is to bring up his children in the "nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Eph. 6:4). The parent represents God to his child. God has given the father the responsibility to administer His standard and tell his children about God's grace. The supreme requirement for parents as teachers of children is that they be in proper relationship with God themselves. Parents who are in rebellion against God, the Father of the universe, are in no position to correctly guide their children to the Lord.

Dr. Haddon W. Robinson

Teenagers leave home for two prime
reasons — problems at home and prob­
lems at school. Teenagers run because it is
the only way they know how to cope with
a family that has forgotten how to listen.
^^^^^^^^^^                      Fred Gross

Before five. Psychological studies
establish that by age five a child has
formed a fairly definite impression of
himself. The same studies reveal that self-
esteem is not closely related to social posi­
tion, family work background, education
or any combination of such factors. A
young child sees himself from the reflec­
tions of those close to him, mainly his
parents. How they react to his activities
largely determines the self image he
builds.                                       Jack Eicholz

Single through no fault or choice of my
own, I am unable to express my sexuality
in the beauty and intimacy of Christian
marriage, as God intended... .To seek to
do this outside of marriage is, by the clear
teaching of Scripture, to sin against God
and my own nature. I have no alternative
but to live a life of voluntary celibacy...
chaste not only in body, but in mind and
spirit... .1 want to go on record as having
proved that for those who are committed
to do God's will, His commands are His
enablings.                     Margaret Clarkson

Why divorce? Because our shallow-brained society has bred into our thinking the totally false concept that if there are dif­ferences, areas of dissimilarity, contrast, then husband and wife are not compatible. The only thing to do is split the sheet. How absurd! This is what marriage is all about. Two people can find the differences in their marriage partner to be a perfect balance to their own needs. In this area, giving and strengthening and growing occur; here two people become one.     Dr. John R. Bisagno

Grandparents. Parents should
encourage their children to visit grand­
parents more often, or to become
acquainted with the older people in the
neighborhood. Society lacks the close
relationship of grandparents and grand­
children. Children need three generations
to grow up with. Grandparents give you a
sense of how things were, how things are.
The older generation have lived through
change, and the young need to know
about it.                              Margaret Mead

Off guard. Surely what a man does
when he is taken off his guard is the best
evidence for what sort of man he is. If
there are rats in a cellar, you are most like­
ly to see them if you go in very suddenly.
But the suddenness does not create the
rats; it only prevents them from hiding. In
the same way, the suddenness of the pro­
vocation does not make me ill-tempered;
it only shows me what an ill-tempered
man I am.                                  C.S. Lewis

No success compensates for failure at home.

A small girl was walking along, sobbing noisily. "What's the trouble, little girl?" asked a kind gentleman. "My mother lost her psychology book," the girl explained, "and now she's using her own judgment."

Cult protection. One of the best pro­tections against the possibility of cultic in­volvement on the part of your child is the strong, supportive, loving family. The new cults have been quick to pick up on the search for a sense of family which characterizes a surprisingly large segment of American youth. Although many cult members come from apparently average homes, many others come from unstable or broken homes where communication was minimal and caring love often absent. The cult provides a haven, a supportive network which assumes the familial role.

Dr. Ronald Enroth

One in five wives is better educated than her husband. And in about one out of four American marriages, the husbands are bet­ter educated. The balance (55%) is about equally educated.

HOMEMADE, ISSN 0899-5494 (Vol. 13, No. 12, December 1989) is published monthly by Family Concern, P.O. Box 900, Morrison, Colorado 80465. Telephone: 303/691-1202. I. Allan Petersen, editor. Subscription $2.00 per month per 50 copies. Second-class postage paid at Morrison, CO and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to HOMEMADE, P.O. Box 900, Morrison, CO 80465-0900. Ad­jacent space provided for local imprinting.