Harmony In the Home
Harmony in the Home
1 Peter 3:1-8
· My plane flight
o Young boy with me – hadn’t seen mother since he was one.
o Young girl in seat ahead – coming back from spending a month with her father somewhere on the eastern part of the US.
o Young man sitting with Jane – coming to spend some time with his mother. He used to live in Modesto but moved when his parents divorced.
· Two different ladies
o If my husband were to tell me I couldn’t go to church I would tell him where to go. God says we are supposed to go to church, so he would just have to deal with it.
§ My husband didn’t want me to go to church but I told him that I really wanted to and that I believed as a Christian I was supposed to. And I went. I gave up a lot of things for him because I was a Christian, but I did go to church even though he would prefer I didn’t.
This man contracted cancer. He led me. I asked him if he wanted to pray. He said yes.
His prayer was text book. I couldn’t have prayed a more theologically accurate prayer myself.
We come today to another institution, in our study of 1 Peter. The institution of marriage.
For this reason, a man shall leave father and mother, and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.
We have been told to submit ourselves to every human institution
To a king, a governor, etc.
We have been told that servants are to be submissive to their masters
Even ones who are not very lovable.
Verse 12 – That the evil doers may glorify God in the day of visitation as they observe your good behavior.
Verse 15 – For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men.
Verse 19 – For this finds favor with God.
Because Jesus suffered for the higher purpose – our salvation
Serve me. Leave the rest to God.
He will judge righteously.
And then we have the example we will look at today.
So that, even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.
The word: a guy catching flies. Told his wife he had killed thre males and two females. How do you know?
The three males I killed on my remote, and the two females were on your phone!
Luke 2:51 – Jesus came with his parents and was submissive to them.
Luke 10:17 – The disciples came with joy, saying, “Lord, even the demons are subject to us in your name!”
Rom. 8:7 – The mind set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law.
Rom. 13:1 – Let every person be subject to the governing authorities.
Eph 5:24 – Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands.
Titus 2:9 – Slaves are to be submissive to their own masters in everything they do
Titus 3:1- Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good deed.
James 4:7 – Submit yourselves therefore to God.
1 Pet 2:13 – Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human
1 Pet 2:18 – Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect
1 Pet 5:5 – Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders
Same word for all. We can’t pick and choose what meanings we are going to give and not give to clear teaching of the scriptures.
I do not want to validate anyone’s misconceptions of what it means for a woman to be submissive to the God-given leadership a man is to have over thehome or what it means for a man to understand that his wife is to be submissive to that leadership.
I read of a man who required his wife to get his permission before she entered any room in their house - That is pathological!
Not by pushiness, selfishly assertive, coercion or threat
Vs 4 – There is a beauty in being holy
The work of God in your heart
Portrait of the type of women God is looking for:
1. Deepest root in her heart is her hope in God
Holy women who hoped in God
You do not put your hope in your husband
You do not put your hope in getting a husband
You do not put your hope in your good looks or adornment
She puts her hope in God
Women with unshakeable biblical roots in the sovereign goodness of God
2. Out of this hope she lives without fear
This fear may come from attitudes in society in general, those who are close to you, or because you are not sure you can or want to trust your husband.
See 1 Peter 3:14, 4:19
The daughters of Sarah fight the anxiety that rises in their hearts. They wage war on fear and they defeat it with hope in the promises of God.
NO ONE SHOULD BE SUFFERING AT THE HANDS OF THE MATE IN A WAY THAT IS HARMFUL TO THEIR SAFETY, OR IS IMMORAL.
3. She focuses on what really matters
-braiding of hair – the elaborate process that involves time, the services of the professional hairdresser, quite a bit of money and is for the purpose of drawing attention to oneself.
Not slovenly – indifference toward one’s appearance
Extravagance – self centered display, gaudiness and immodest
You can wear too much – and you can wear too little.
4. She submits to her husband
-It can’t mean agreeing with everything he says – unbelievers. You can’t put the will of your husband before the will of Christ.
-You don’t leave your brain, your gifts, your will on the altar.
-It doesn’t mean avoiding every effort to change your husband.
-Your hope is in God.
-Your submission is done in your freedom, not out of fear.
In the same way. . .
With the same attitude of wanting to honor Christ as Lord
The spirit that is at work to develop in your wife the gentle and quiet spirit is the same spirit who wants to develop in you kindness and attentiveness with your wife.
First of all, the husband is to live with his wife with understanding – or to be considerate as you live with your wife.
Portrait of the type of man God is looking for:
1. He is considerate
-This includes the knowledge that she is a weaker vessel.
Vessel – a possession that is useful like a pot for carrying water or a sail for wind power.
It might look as if Peter is encouraging husbands to look at their wives as a useful possession. TROUBLE!
2 Timothy 2:21 – we are vessels in service together for our Lord Jesus Christ
2. He knows that she is a weaker vessel
Peter recognizes, and any good husband will too, that husbands are weak vessels as well.
So what does Peter mean here?
-Physical weakness – any woman here today would like us to go through child bearing. Marathon – girls wrestling in high school have beaten many a young man.
-Some have suggested that she is weaker because she has adopted a position where she submit herself to her husband and places herself into a vulnerable place and open to exploitation. This can surely happen.
-I like the combination of the physical and the issues related to her gender or sexuality.
Physically – her frame hasn’t been made to stand the stresses that the male physique can stand. In the negative realm, you don’t usually go to a home where a man is being physically abused.
What do we tell young men? “You don’t treat women that way.” Or, “you never hit a woman. PERIOD!!!”
In her sexuality – she is more vulnerable than the male.
If you had a wall of light bulbs on this side of the room and a wall of light bulbs on that side of the room and they were wired differently, which of these would be the male and which would be the female?
-One wall has separate circuits. In other words, one light can go out and it won’t affect the other lights.
-On the other wall all the lights were connected to the same circuit so that if one light goes out, they all go out.
There are sensitivities that we men know nothing about.
3. He recognizes his wife’s value
Joint heir – this has nothing to do with equality before God, with maturity, with mental abilities, with giftedness or the like. This has to do with the design of God for the home.
4. He is concerned about his own spiritual life
It is significant . . . your prayers can be hindered.
Remember how we started. We live so others will see the reality of Jesus in our lives.
Look at verse 8:
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another, be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.