What God Has Joined, Let No Man Separate
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Introduction:
Good morning. Please open your Bibles to the Gospel of Mark. We are in chapter ten today as we are making our way through Mark’s Gospel. Today we deal with another heavy topic as Jesus gives his followers important lessons on discipleship as they make their way to Jerusalem. The topic we will be addressing this morning is the issue of Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage. This can truly be a series on its own, so I won’t be able to address everything that needs to be said on this topic. But if you would like to talk to the Elders about it or even discuss among your small groups, or even do some further study, I would be happy to recommend some good books for you or have a conversation with you.
Marriage and sexuality will be some of the most controversial issues we will face as Christians living in the 21st century.
We are in the midst of a sexual, moral, and worldview revolution where secular orthodoxy dominates the public sphere. The culture shift we have seen celebrates what was once forbidden and shameful in the past and throughout most of human history.
Those who do not subscribe to the orthodoxy and faith of the secular culture will be viewed as hostile to progress, arrogant, hateful, mean-spirited, or too traditional and not with the times.
People who also do not hold to the celebrated views of sexuality today will be excommunicated by the larger culture. It is already happening to Christians who are losing their jobs, institutions in danger of losing their accreditation, adoption agencies in danger of losing government funding.
The problem is not in the culture alone, but has made its way to the church.
The United Methodist Church, the second largest protestant denomination in America, made headlines the past week weeks as it split over the issue of same-sex marriage.
What we experience today is not because of primarily some democratic, liberal, or Hollywood agenda, even though they are some of the leading voices in our culture.
Christian historians have also argued that we have experienced a cultural and moral revolution because churches have failed to uphold the sanctity of marriage. The place were marriage should have been valued and protected, often looks no different from the world.
In Nancy Pearcy’s book Love Thy Body: Answering Hard Questions About Life and Sexuality, she states some sad statistics among Christians in regards to their views on sex and marriage:
2/3s of Christian men watch pornography at least monthly, the same rate as men who do not calim to be Christian. One survey, 54 percent of pastors said they view porn within the past year.
A Gallup poll found amost half of teens with religious backgrounds support living together before marriage.
Among adults who identiy as Christians but rarely attend church, 60 % percent have been divorced. Of those who attend church regularly 37%.
A 2014 Pew Research Center study said that 51 percent of evangelical millennials said same-sex behavior is morally acceptable.
“We live in a moral wasteland where human beings are desperately seeking answers to hard questions about life and sexuality.”
The church should we give clear and even prophetic voice because of what God has clearly revealed in his Word.
The most basic unity of society is marriage. And those who seek to destroy marriages, will create a fundamental breakdown in society and ultimately rebellion against God.
And that breakdown is already happening before our very eyes in America. Today we deal with another heavy topic as we turn to . And the topic this morning is on Marriage and Divorce. In our passage, we will see a debate between Jesus and the Pharisees because the Pharisees are trying to trap and corner Jesus to discredit him. But Jesus will not play their scripture twisting mind games and will show them and the disciples of God’s true intention for marriage. I have divided our passage in three headings:
I. Marriage Divided (vv. 1-4)
II. Marriage Intended (vv. 5-9)
III. Marriage Elevated (vv. 10-11)
We must uphold the institution of marriage because this is an institution ordained by God for the flourishing of families, churches, societies, and ultimately to give a picture of God’s love for us in Christ.
Again, because of our studies in Mark, we are just in the next chapter and verse. And today is a another heavy topic that I would not naturally gravitate. But as Christians, we must deal with the hard sayings of Jesus as well as the easy ones if we are going to be faithful to the Word of God. My prayer is that we submit to the Word of God whatever is says.
The parallel passages are found in and if you would want to do some further study on your own.
Scripture Reading:
And he left there and went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan, and crowds gathered to him again. And again, as was his custom, he taught them.
And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
This is the Word of God.
Notice in verse 1 the context and location of where Jesus is at. At this point, Jesus is making his journey to Jerusalem. This would be like Frodo making his way to Mount Doom with his fellow hobbits. Or Harry Potter making his way to the dark forest to be killed by Voldemort. Or Luke Skywalker making his way to the Death Star to confront Darth Vader.
By the way, I would argue all these movies, whether they know or not, is taking their themes from the Bible.
And he left there and went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan, and crowds gathered to him again. And again, as was his custom, he taught them.
And he left there and went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan, and crowds gathered to him again. And again, as was his custom, he taught them.
And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
Left there probably means Capernaum. Now Jesus is traveling south into the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan and crowds are flocking to Jesus again.
Inventions and Decrees
Inventions and Decrees
Before the latter half of the 20th century, an evening of sexual pleasure often carried with it the possibility of a lifetime of child-rearing. Having sex meant possibly getting pregnant, almost definitely staying pregnant, and then raising that child for life.
And notice it says, “He taught them.” He was continually teaching them. I just want to highlight that Jesus was not primarily a miracle worker, but a teacher. His miracles confirmed the authority of his teaching.
Two things happened to flip this script.
Application:
First, contraception appeared in the form of birth-control pills. Second, abortion was legalized and thus regulated, making the choice safer, cheaper, and easier across the board. Suddenly, sex had fewer consequences, and though it may be crass to speak of sex as a commodity, it’s simply Economics 101 that a product that can be had more cheaply and with less risk will entice more consumers. Alex Duke
And as Christians, we grow by learning and by instruction from the Word of God. Do not minimize the importance of learning and what we do Sunday morning.
“We have not come to the preaching merely to hear what we do not know, but to be incited to do our duty.” John Calvin
You are coming to learn and be instructed corporately. But as you read the Bible personally, ask the Lord to teach you wonderful things in his Law. Let us be humble in receiving His Word.
Such is the fulness of the Christian doctrine, that there is still more to be learned; and such our forgetfulness, that we need to be reminded of what we do know.
We are like the disciples, slow of hearing and slow of learning, and needed to be reminded again and again through instruction of the Word.
And ironically, he is approached by the supposed teachers of the Law, the Pharisees, who distorted God’s teaching which leads us to our first heading:
I. Marriage Divided (vv. 1-4)
I. Marriage Divided (vv. 1-4)
The Pharisees come to Jesus asking a question about divorce. Divorce was common in the first century just as it is today.
And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?”
The word test is also word tempt. It is the same word that is used of Satan in :
And he was in the wilderness forty days, being tempted by Satan. And he was with the wild animals, and the angels were ministering to him.
It is a temptation or a trap set up to make one stumble. If the Pharisees could get Jesus to stumble on his answer, they could discredit him among the crowds and even accuse him for violating God’s Law.
Now they were asking Jesus a question that Rabbi’s debated in an OT passage. The passage is found in . The word indwcency was ambiguous and there were two approaches.
“When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, and if she goes and becomes another man’s wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance.
Deuteronomy 24:1-4
The stricter school of Shammai allowed divorce only in the case of adultery, while the more liberal school of Hillel allowed it for almost any reason (even burning a meal!). Rabbi Akiba went so far as to say divorce was allowed even if a man “found another fairer than she” (m. Giṭ 9:10).9 In Judaism only the man could initiate divorce, though powerful upper-class women sometimes did (Josephus, Ant. 15.7.10 §259). The right to remarry was assumed and was an integral part of the divorce formula: “You are free to marry whomever you wish” (m. Giṭ 9:3).
Strauss, Mark L.. Mark (Zondervan Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament) . Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
The Pillar New Testament Commentary: The Gospel according to Mark Discipleship and Marriage (10:1–12)
The School of Shammai say: A man may not divorce his wife unless he has found unchastity in her, for it is written, “Because he hath found in her indecency in anything.” And the School of Hillel say: [He may divorce her] even if she spoiled a dish for him, for it is written, “Because he hath found in her indecency in anything.” R. Akiba says: Even if he found another fairer than she, for it is written, “And it shall be if she find no favour in his eyes.” (m. Git. 9:10)
The Pharisees were trying to trap Jesus with this question in order to discredit him and even potentially have him executed by Herod. Remember, John the Baptist lost his head by preaching against Herod’s and Herodias adulterous relationship. Jesus was in the region of Herod.
The Pharisees were trying to trap Jesus with this question in order to discredit him and even potentially have him executed by Herod. Remember, John the Baptist lost his head by preaching against Herod’s and Herodias adulterous relationship. Jesus was in the region of Herod.
For John had been saying to Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife.” And Herodias had a grudge against him and wanted to put him to death. But she could not,
Application: As Christians, we must be wise when unbelievers or skeptics ask us questions. Sometimes, there are sincere people asking genuine questions. Other times, people are asking in order to stump the Christian.
In Philosophy, it’s called a logical fallacy. The False dilemma presents an either/or question that leaves out a possible third option.
Does your mom know your stupid?
Have you stop hitting your children?
Whatever you answer, yes or no puts you in a corner with how the question is posed. They presented Jesus with a logic fallacy or false dilemma.
When skeptics ask:
So if Jesus answered “No”, then he would be going against the popular opinion of the Pharisees holding to the more conservative opinion. If he said “Yes”, then they could accuse him by saying that God is ok with divorce or even against Moses.
I love the wisdom and tact of Jesus. He responds with their question with a question. And he tells them, what does your Bible say?
He answered them, “What did Moses command you?”
Matthew tells us:
The stricter school of Shammai allowed divorce only in the case of adultery, while the more liberal school of Hillel allowed it for almost any reason (even burning a meal!). Rabbi Akiba went so far as to say divorce was allowed even if a man “found another fairer than she” (m. Giṭ 9:10).9 In Judaism only the man could initiate divorce, though powerful upper-class women sometimes did (Josephus, Ant. 15.7.10 §259). The right to remarry was assumed and was an integral part of the divorce formula: “You are free to marry whomever you wish” (m. Giṭ 9:3).
Strauss, Mark L.. Mark (Zondervan Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament) . Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Strauss, Mark L.. Mark (Zondervan Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament) . Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female,
What does the Bible say? Your teachers of the Law and you do not know what you are reading? Jesus goes back to the authority of Scripture. Moses never commanded divorce, but only permitted it. And it forces the Pharisees to admit that he only permitted it not commanded. Yet the Pharisees had distorted God’s divine intention to allow for divorce for any reason.
And they were approaching the whole question wrong. It is like when two people date are asking: how far can we go intimately without sinning? That is the wrong way to ask the question.
What can I get away with and how far can my spouse go until I am allowed to initiate a divorce?
How far can we go or what things would be allowed for divorce? They were masters of minor things and loopholes rather than majoring on the major and the true intention of the Law.
The NIV Application Commentary: Mark The Question about Divorce (10:1–12)
They come at the law asking, “What does it allow me to do?” or, to put it more bluntly, “What can I get away with?” This preoccupation with legal subtleties ultimately neglects God’s will, which is primarily concerned with love for the neighbor (12:31).
The Pillar New Testament Commentary: The Gospel according to Mark Discipleship and Marriage (10:1–12)
The Pharisees reflect the view that marriage is a disposable contractual arrangement. Twice they inquire about possible grounds of its dissolution (10:2, 4). Their attitude reminds us of a person who has just been granted a bank loan and then asks under what conditions he might be absolved from repaying it.
Or signing a new house loan and asking what are the rules for foreclosure or bankruptcy.
Or playing a sports tournament and asking what awards are given for those who finish last or what type of trophies are given for third place?
What did Moses Command You?
They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.”
Going back to the passage in Deuteronomy, Moses allowed, or permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce.
The Gospel of Mark Notes
Possession of this certificate provided the woman with the legal proof that the marriage had ended and made it possible for her to marry someone else. In this sense the certificate offered the woman legal protection against the claims of her former husband and the possibility of starting a new life.
Now the certificate of divorce was used in one sense to protect the woman from slander and abuse. If she had official certificate, she would be allowed to continue on her normal life and be free from the previous marriage. Yet she was not allowed to return to the first marriage because now she was married to another man.
God did not originally intent for divorce, but sanctioned it because of the wickedness and hardness of human hearts.
For John had been saying to Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife.” And Herodias had a grudge against him and wanted to put him to death. But she could not,
Strauss, Mark L.. Mark (Zondervan Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament) . Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
What does Jesus do? He goes back further than Deuteronomy back in Genesis.
“When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, and if she goes and becomes another man’s wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance.
Christian—Don’t let people manipulate you because they quote Scripture. That is why we must be students of Scripture. That is why we need to know our Bibles well.
And notice that the bible extends to all of our life. Not just our Sunday morning, but our Monday mornings. Not just to our church membership, but to our marriages. Not just to our small groups, but how we relate to our children and neighbors. The Bible calls for the Lordship of Christ over every area of our lives.
Your word is a lamp to my feet
and a light to my path.
I find it so insightful that if you want to be filled with the Spirit, just look at your home.
Jesus is going back to the Bible to refute the distorted Bible teaching of the Pharisees. They were debating about what grounds that would allow for the division of a marriage, when Jesus in our next point shows us God’s intention for marriage...
Transition: The debate with Jesus was over divorce and a marriage divided, but Jesus presents the original intention of marriage in the next verse...
God did not originally intent for divorce, but sanctioned it because of the wickedness and hardness of human hearts.
II. Marriage Intended (vv. 5-9)
II. Marriage Intended (vv. 5-9)
We live in strange and difficult times aren’t we? Something that was so commonly held and assumed by most of human history is no longer commonly held or assumed just within a few decades of our lifetimes.
In the 2015 Obergefell case that legalized same-sex marriage across the US, the state was basically saying that the society and individual have the final say on what marriage means.
The Public says God does not have a right or authority to tell me what to do with my body or who I can love.
Marriage is no longer defined by the Creator, but by the state and ultimately by subjective experiences and feelings of the individual.
Marriage is defined in our society by two or more people who consent and love one another and have the right to do whatever they want with their sexuality as long as it doesn’t harm anyone?
The Public will say Who are you to impose your views of marriage on me?
But people fail to see that statement goes both ways as that statement itself is a belief imposed on one who disagrees.
The storm was brewing way before 2015 though. The sexual revolution of the 60s, free sex movement, contraception, no fault divorce, legalization of abortion created the storm that we live in today. And the failure is not just on the culture, but on Christians who failed to uphold God’s standards in churches as they lowered God’s view of marriage.
The real question is who has final authority? The state, the individual, the culture, or God?
Marriage is no longer defined by the Creator, but by the state and ultimately by subjective experiences and feelings of the individual.
Marriage is defined in our society by two or more people who consent and love one another and have the right to do whatever they want with their sexuality as long as it doesn’t harm anyone?
The Public will say Who are you to impose your views of marriage on me?
But people fail to see that statement goes both ways as that statement itself is a belief imposed on one who disagrees.
The real question is who has final authority? The state, the individual, the culture, or God?
As Christians, we believe God has the final say in what we do with our marriages and our bodies.
Going back to the question the Pharisees posed...
Why did God permit divorce?
And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment.
God did not originally intent for divorce, but sanctioned it because of the wickedness and hardness of human hearts.
“Children of unmarried or divorced parents are far more likely to suffer emotional, behavioral, and health problems. They are far more likely to suffer emotional, behavioral, and health problems. They are at higher risk for crime, poverty, depression, suicide, school difficulties, unmarried pregnancy, and drug and alcohol abuse.” 242 Pearcy
“Statstically, those who divorce suffer high rates of alcoholism, illness, depression, mental illness, and suicide.” Pearcy
Jesus points out that divorce is neither a right nor a privilege, but rather a condescension to human sinfulness. It is always contrary to God’s will, even though it is “permitted” in certain circumstances. Mark Strauss
In a Fallen world, there are certain laws that are permitted. In one sense, we can say it’s the lesser of two evils. God permits and allows for divorce, but never condones or celebrates or blesses a divorce.
Strauss, Mark L.. Mark (Zondervan Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament) . Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
The Gospel of Mark 10. The Question of Divorce. Ch. 10:1–12
Jesus’ judgment regarding hard-heartedness presupposes the abiding validity and obligation of the original divine institution of marriage, and the force of his pronouncement here, and in the following verses, is to obliterate the Mosaic tolerance.
Preaching the Word: Mark—Jesus, Servant and Savior Jesus’ Teaching on Divorce (Matthew 19:4-12)
The reason God allowed divorce was that the hearts of the men of Israel were “hard.” This was a divine concession to human weakness, a concession to man’s sinfulness, but it cannot be taken as approval. It was reluctant permission at best.
In a Fallen world, there are certain laws that are permitted. In one sense, we can say it’s the lesser of two evils. God permits and allows for divorce, but never condones or celebrates or blesses a divorce.
“Divorce is like an atomic bomb that leaves deep emotional craters and strikes all kinds of innocent bystanders with the fallout.”
Statistics say
“Children of unmarried or divorced parents are far more likely to suffer emotional, behavioral, and health problems. They are far more likely to suffer emotional, behavioral, and health problems. They are at higher risk for crime, poverty, depression, suicide, school difficulties, unmarried pregnancy, and drug and alcohol abuse.” 242 Pearcy
“Statistically, those who divorce suffer high rates of alcoholism, illness, depression, mental illness, and suicide.” Pearcy
Many children are growing in single parent homes. Many children lack good examples of biblical masculinity. It wrecks not only the people involved, but children and even society as it rips apart the most basic fundamental building block of society.
Is it any wonder that Satan attacked a marriage to allow the Fall of Humanity? He subverted roles and made people question whether God’s Word was really good and really true.
How does God define marriage?
Marriage is an institution ordained by God, not the state or culture or individual.
But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife,
But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’
Jesus is quoting from and .
So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.
2. Marriage is between one man and one woman.
God created man and woman equal in dignity in worth, value, but different in roles as they both complement one another to subdue the earth and be fruitful and multiply.God made two sexes to rule and subdue the earth.
3. Marriage is exclusive covenantal union between one man and one woman.
A man leaves his family of origin and forms a new unit with his spouse. Outside of a relationship with God, the marriage relationship is the closest relationship any experiences because it unities to two people physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
4. Marriage is a permanent union between one man and one woman.
Hold Fast to his wife. Cleaving. Glued. Cemented together. That is why in marriage vows, will you love and cherish and hold fast to your spouse until death do you part?
5. Marriage is a sexual union between one man and one woman.
5. Marriage is a
And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
Sex is not sinful or evil. It is evil and sinful outside of God’s commands. But inside marriage, sex is to be celebrated and practice regularly to celebrate the gift of the Creator.
“Sex is God’s appointed way for two people to say reciprocally to one another, ‘I belong completely, permanently, and exclusively to you.” Tim Keller
Sex is not only for children as the RCC teaches, but also for spouses to delight in one another and for spouses to unite physically, emotionally and permanently for life.
God himself was joined them together; he has not only, as Creator, fitted them to be comforts and helps meet for each other, but he has, in wisdom and goodness, appointed them who are thus joined together, to live together in love till death parts them. Marriage is not an invention of men, but a divine institution, and therefore is to be religiously observed, and the more, because it is a figure of the mystical inseparable union between Christ and his church.
and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
6. Marriage is life-long union.
and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
This was God’s intention from the beginning. The reason why there are failed marriages, adulterous relationships, homosexual relationships, and any other sexual sin outside of the covenant of marriage is because of the hardness of human hearts.
A rejection of God’s authority over people’s lives.
I must admit, this will offend some people. But if there is a God who created you and who made you, doesn’t he have the right to determine what He defines as good and what leads to human flourishing because he made you?
Many people have come to Christ because they have experienced the brokenness of failing to uphold God’s standard and have been left sexually, emotionally, and physically broken because they did not heed God’s instructions.
Married—To the married I want to say to you, work at your marriage. Strengthen your marriage. All of us, God forbid, because of our sin, can fall prey to this sin of divorce. Before we point out how the culture is going down the gutter, let us make sure our marriages are not going down the gutter.
Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.
I must say that I have a good marriage. I absolutely love and adore my wife. But even though I am a pastor, I still have conflicts in marriage. This past year was probably one of the hardest we have faced as a couple with growing demands of ministry and four children under five. I still needed to get counsel. My wife has probably seen the worst side of me in the past couple of months and I am ashamed.
And even we needed some counsel for our marriage. I would encourage you to get counsel if you need work on your marriage. Talk to your elders. Talk to people you love and trust and those who have godly marriages in the church. God have given us the church to help us and that we would not walk alone.
They say that the best defense is good offense.
Be intentional. Be deliberate. Make sure those of us are married are seeking to be one with our spouse. Make sure you have regular intimacy in marriage. Because if we are not, our sin will make us drift apart.
No one drifts into holiness. No one who has a good marriage drifted into a good marriage, but they worked at it.
Singles—Marriage is more than just “love at first sight”. All married people will say that it takes more than romance and Disneyland dates to sustain a marriage. It takes commitment, sacrifice, and lots of forgiveness and grace.
Sisters, don’t marry someone just because he is guappo or cute. Is he a Christian? Is he a member of a church? Does he have a genuine relationship with others in his local church? Does he have a pattern of responsibility, sincerity, and confession of sin?
Brothers, marriage is more than sexual fulfillment. Sex is a wonderful gift, but there is much more to marriage than just satisfying your passions. Marriage is sanctifying. It is committed love and responsibility. It is a road of a cross as you deny yourself and seek the good of your partner.
Engaged or Moving to Marriage. Get premarital counseling. I will not officiate your wedding unless you get premarital counseling. Everything is well when you start dating and your date is the perfect partner.
Premartial counseling helps take some of those blinders off. Do you have the same values? Do you share the same theology? Do you commicate properly? Do you have sexual baggage you are bringing into marriage or fears you are bringing into marriage? Do you have a plan to spend your money. Whose in laws are you going to go to on Christmas? How many children do you want?
And you often find out with real life questions get asked, the blinders are removed for a bit.
Troubled Marriages. Reach out for help. Reach out to the elders or leaders or those you trust.
Satan will do everything in his power to rip our marriages and families apart. We see a moral wasteland of broken people in our culture because he often has ripped marriages and families apart.
“God’s view of marriage is monogamous, lifelong, permanent union between two people. It is an indivisible oneness. It is the will of God that we be committed to the uniqueness and permanence of marriage, with two becoming one for life.” MacArthur
Bonhoffer would say to this to couples at their wedding day.
“It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love” Bonhoffer
Transition: The Pharisees were asking questions about what can divide a marriage, or a debate about divorce, when Jesus showed them the true intention of marriage according to God, but lastly, notice how Jesus elevates marriage....
III. Marriage Elevated (vv. 10-12)
III. Marriage Elevated (vv. 10-12)
III. Marriage Elevated (vv. 10-12)
III. Marriage Elevated (vv. 10-12)
And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
Notice Jesus elevated view of marriage.
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
The disciples are in the house and asked privately for further explanation. In other words, they are debriefing with Jesus after what he publicly says.
And what Jesus says is that an unbiblical divorced man or woman who remarries is essentially committing adultery with the new spouse.
That is a tough saying. Even the disciples couldn’t swallow what Jesus was saying?
The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”
Is Jesus saying that ALL remarriage is sinful?
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Divorce is contrary to God’s purpose for marriage, arises from hard human hearts, and produces spiritual adultery.
Divorce is contrary to God’s purpose for marriage, arises from hard human hearts, and produces spiritual adultery.
Strauss, Mark L.. Mark (Zondervan Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament) . Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Strauss, Mark L.. Mark (Zondervan Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament) . Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Marriage is not simply a contract between two families that can be dissolved on a whim. It is a sacred covenant made before God, which is meant to last a lifetime.
Marriage is not simply a contract between two families that can be dissolved on a whim. It is a sacred covenant made before God, which is meant to last a lifetime.
Strauss, Mark L.. Mark (Zondervan Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament) . Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Again, God allowed and permitted divorce in the OT. Even God is said to divorce his people in the OT because of their spiritual adultery.
Strauss, Mark L.. Mark (Zondervan Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament) . Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Premarital Counseling
Strauss, Mark L.. Mark (Zondervan Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament) . Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Strauss, Mark L.. Mark (Zondervan Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament) . Zondervan. Kindle Edition.
Premarital Counseling
Marital Counseling
Premarital Counseling
Marital Counseling
Good Marriage
Healthy communication and healthy intimacy in marriage. Best defense is a good offense.
The Gospel of Mark 10. The Question of Divorce. Ch. 10:1–12
Jesus’ judgment regarding hard-heartedness presupposes the abiding validity and obligation of the original divine institution of marriage, and the force of his pronouncement here, and in the following verses, is to obliterate the Mosaic tolerance.
The Pillar New Testament Commentary: The Gospel according to Mark Discipleship and Marriage (10:1–12)
The School of Shammai say: A man may not divorce his wife unless he has found unchastity in her, for it is written, “Because he hath found in her indecency in anything.” And the School of Hillel say: [He may divorce her] even if she spoiled a dish for him, for it is written, “Because he hath found in her indecency in anything.” R. Akiba says: Even if he found another fairer than she, for it is written, “And it shall be if she find no favour in his eyes.” (m. Git. 9:10)
Thus says the Lord:
“Where is your mother’s certificate of divorce,
with which I sent her away?
Or which of my creditors is it
to whom I have sold you?
Behold, for your iniquities you were sold,
and for your transgressions your mother was sent away.
The Pillar New Testament Commentary: The Gospel according to Mark Discipleship and Marriage (10:1–12)
The Pharisees reflect the view that marriage is a disposable contractual arrangement. Twice they inquire about possible grounds of its dissolution (10:2, 4). Their attitude reminds us of a person who has just been granted a bank loan and then asks under what conditions he might be absolved from repaying it.
Preaching the Word: Mark—Jesus, Servant and Savior Jesus’ Teaching on Divorce (Matthew 19:4-12)
The reason God allowed divorce was that the hearts of the men of Israel were “hard.” This was a divine concession to human weakness, a concession to man’s sinfulness, but it cannot be taken as approval. It was reluctant permission at best.
Such is the fulness of the Christian doctrine, that there is still more to be learned; and such our forgetfulness, that we need to be reminded of what we do know.
God himself was joined them together; he has not only, as Creator, fitted them to be comforts and helps meet for each other, but he has, in wisdom and goodness, appointed them who are thus joined together, to live together in love till death parts them. Marriage is not an invention of men, but a divine institution, and therefore is to be religiously observed, and the more, because it is a figure of the mystical inseparable union between Christ and his church.
The NIV Application Commentary: Mark The Question about Divorce (10:1–12)
They come at the law asking, “What does it allow me to do?” or, to put it more bluntly, “What can I get away with?” This preoccupation with legal subtleties ultimately neglects God’s will, which is primarily concerned with love for the neighbor (12:31).
The NIV Application Commentary: Mark The Question about Divorce (10:1–12)
The Pharisees need to discover what God commands, not what Moses has permitted. The Pharisees’ approach to the law is wrong; their approach to marriage is also wrong. They begin with the end of the marriage relationship and scrutinize the correct procedures for ending it.
She saw that for all the adulteries of that faithless one, Israel, I had sent her away with a decree of divorce. Yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but she too went and played the whore.
Is divorce and remarriage always sinful?
Thus says the Lord:
“Where is your mother’s certificate of divorce,
with which I sent her away?
Or which of my creditors is it
to whom I have sold you?
Behold, for your iniquities you were sold,
and for your transgressions your mother was sent away.
View one: don’t care view. This was the view of the Pharisees.
Divorce is not allowed. This is a hardline view.
Divorced is allowed, but remarriage is not allowed.
The protestant and traditional view is that divorce is allowed if there are biblical reasons for the divorce, and if there are biblical reasons, then the person is free to remarry only in the Lord.
The Grounds for Divrorce
Sexual Sin
“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”
And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
You remember Joseph was about to divorce marry because she was pregnant and Scripture didn’t condemn Joseph’s action. In fact, Scripture calls Joseph a righteous man.
Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.
The Gospel of Mark Notes
Possession of this certificate provided the woman with the legal proof that the marriage had ended and made it possible for her to marry someone else. In this sense the certificate offered the woman legal protection against the claims of her former husband and the possibility of starting a new life.
Now, there are some cases where the adultery is so serious that divorce is permissible. But even though it is permissible, the believer does not have to exercise that right. But if the believer does exercise that right, they should not be shamed for exercising the right if the marriage is so broke.
2. Desertion by Unbeliever
But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.
“Adultery or fornication committed after a contract, being detected before marriage, giveth just occasion to the innocent party to dissolve that contract. In the case of adultery after marriage, it is lawful for the innocent party to sue out a divorce: and after the divorce, to marry another, as if the offending party were dead” WCF
The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”
Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.
and Eliud the father of Eleazar, and Eleazar the father of Matthan, and Matthan the father of Jacob, and Jacob the father of Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom Jesus was born, who is called Christ.
So all the generations from Abraham to David were fourteen generations, and from David to the deportation to Babylon fourteen generations, and from the deportation to Babylon to the Christ fourteen generations.
Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.
We all know it is not as black and white. Each situation is different.
Now, there are some cases where the adultery is so serious that divorce is permissble. But even though it is permissble, the believer does not have to exercise that right. But if the believer does exercise that right, they should not be shamed for exercising the right if the marriage is so broke.
“Sex is God’s appointed way for two people to say reciprocally to one another, ‘I belong completely, permanently, and exclusively to you.” Tim Keller
“Adultery or fornication committed after a contract, being detected before marriage, giveth just occasion to the innocent party to dissolve that contract. In the case of adultery after marriage, it is lawful for the innocent party to sue out a divorce: and after the divorce, to marry another, as if the offending party were dead” WCF
Thinking about Divorce—Please don’t think of divorce you have supsicion of your husband or wife is being unfaithful. It should be how can we work on our marriage. How can we extend grace and forgiveness.
Victim—Those who have legitimate grounds for divorce, should always seek wisdom and always hope that a marriage can be restored. Even though you have the right, you don’t have to exercise the right. But if you use the right, you shouldn’t be judged by exercising the right. Churches should not shame the victim if they had biblical grounds for ending a marriage because of a violation of the covenant.
Divorce—Divorce is not the unpardonable sin.
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
1 Corinthians 6:
Divorce—Divorce is not the unpardonable sin.
“Statstically, those who divorce suffer high rates of alcoholism, illness, depression, mental illness, and suicide.” Pearcy
God is near to the broken hearted and compassionate to those who are truly repentant.
“It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love” Bonhoffer
Unbiblical Remarriage—You are to remain faithful to your current spouse, but repent and make restitution to your former spouse if able. You don’t divorce your second spouse in order to make the first marriage right.
Maybe you have come to Christ later in life, and now you are to be faithful in whatever God has called you to.
Singles—Marriage is a serious God given institution. Don’t take it lightly if God has given you a desire. Have a realistic view of marriage. It is blessed, but hard. Stop watching the Korean Dramas and just start going to my house and watch tired parents who love one another watch four kids to give you a dose of reality.
Go to the Married. Watch. Learn. Ask Questions.
Content Singles—You are blessed. But use your freedom to serve the Lord in unhindered devotion.
Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called. Were you a bondservant when called? Do not be concerned about it. (But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity.) For he who was called in the Lord as a bondservant is a freedman of the Lord. Likewise he who was free when called is a bondservant of Christ. You were bought with a price; do not become bondservants of men. So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God.
Now concerning the betrothed, I have no command from the Lord, but I give my judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy.
For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches. Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was anyone at the time of his call uncircumcised? Let him not seek circumcision. For neither circumcision counts for anything nor uncircumcision, but keeping the commandments of God.
I think that in view of the present distress it is good for a person to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.
I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
1 Corinthians 7:26-
Why does God take marriage and divorce so seriously?
Why does God take marriage and divorce so seriously?
Because of what marriage was to point to: the Gospel.
God likens his relationship with his people as a marriage covenant. He will make a new covenant where He will wipe away our sins: whether single, married, divorce, or remarried. Whoever you are, our Christ, the great Husband of the Church, lay down his life for spiritual adulterers. For those who disregarded God’s law and deserve His judgment.
Jesus performed his first miracle at a marriage.
The Bible ends with the marriage of Jesus and His people.
To divorce is to misrepresent God’s character and covenant love.
Because God was committed exclusively to His people not only for life, but for eternity.
Because the Triune God is exclusively One with His people.
And because God grants all his benefits of the covenant to His people who unite to Him by Faith.
Marriage is a great sign that points us to the love of God in Jesus Christ where He lays down his life for the his faithless bride to make her beautiful.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
Paul quotes the same words from Jesus and yet shows us marriages divine purpose.
because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
Non-Christian
Repent and Believe. You were unfaithful. Yet Christ died to release you from the Law that condemned you. And you have been joined to a new husband. The risen Christ. To live a new life that honors him.
Or do you not know, brothers—for I am speaking to those who know the law—that the law is binding on a person only as long as he lives? For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage. Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress.
Likewise, my brothers, you also have died to the law through the body of Christ, so that you may belong to another, to him who has been raised from the dead, in order that we may bear fruit for God. For while we were living in the flesh, our sinful passions, aroused by the law, were at work in our members to bear fruit for death. But now we are released from the law, having died to that which held us captive, so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit and not in the old way of the written code.
What then shall we say? That the law is sin? By no means! Yet if it had not been for the law, I would not have known sin. For I would not have known what it is to covet if the law had not said, “You shall not covet.” But sin, seizing an opportunity through the commandment, produced in me all kinds of covetousness. For apart from the law, sin lies dead.
Or do you not know, brothers—for I am speaking to those who know the law—that the law is binding on a person only as long as he lives? For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage. Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress.
Likewise, my brothers, you also have died to the law through the body of Christ, so that you may belong to another, to him who has been raised from the dead, in order that we may bear fruit for God. For while we were living in the flesh, our sinful passions, aroused by the law, were at work in our members to bear fruit for death.
Church—Let us discipline the unreprentant, comfort the broken, and strengthen marriages to uphold the gospel that has been entrusted to us.
Baptism are in some ways to analogous to wedding vows where you publicly profess your commitment to Christ and His People.
“A Yale researcher found that the effect of divorce on your health is the equivalent of smoking a pack of cigarrettes a day.” Pearcy
Lord’s Supper is where we continually pray and join ourselves to Christ and His people.
“God’s view of marriage is monogamous, lifelong, permanent union between two people. It is an indivisible oneness. It is the will of God that we be committed to the uniqueness and permanence of marriage, with two becoming one for life.” MacArthur
Summary:
“Adultery or fornication committed after a contract, being detected before marriage, giveth just occasion to the innocent party to dissolve that contract. In the case of adultery after marriage, it is lawful for the innocent party to sue out a divorce: and after the divorce, to marry another, as if the offending party were dead” WCF
I. Marriage Divided—Divorce was never God’s intention. It was permitted because of the hardness of human hearts.
“Adultery or fornication committed after a contract, being detected before marriage, giveth just occasion to the innocent party to dissolve that contract. In the case of adultery after marriage, it is lawful for the innocent party to sue out a divorce: and after the divorce, to marry another, as if the offending party were dead” WCF
II. Marriage Intended—A covenantal union between one man and one woman in a life-long commitment.
Inventions and Decrees
III. Marriage Elevated—Marriage must be protected because it is a signpost of the gospel and the future of all believers who will participate in forever blessedness when Christ comes again to take His bride for all eternity.
Inventions and Decrees
Inventions and Decrees
Let us pray.
Before the latter half of the 20th century, an evening of sexual pleasure often carried with it the possibility of a lifetime of child-rearing. Having sex meant possibly getting pregnant, almost definitely staying pregnant, and then raising that child for life.
Two things happened to flip this script.
First, contraception appeared in the form of birth-control pills. Second, abortion was legalized and thus regulated, making the choice safer, cheaper, and easier across the board. Suddenly, sex had fewer consequences, and though it may be crass to speak of sex as a commodity, it’s simply Economics 101 that a product that can be had more cheaply and with less risk will entice more consumers. Alex Duke