CARE OF ONE ANOTHER: Widows Helped, Widows Who Help, & Your Relatives
Notes
Transcript
Dear Congregation of our Lord Jesus Christ,
One of the telltale signs that marks a cult from a true Christian church is that it usurp’s all all things to itself. This is true of a cult that seeks to control its members property, but also members conscience. Church of Christ in Korea a freind, everything from clothing style, to dictating friendships, dating relationsips and marriage. Not just upholding a standard but individuals particular choices. In a cult the idea of church is that it replaces family.
It interesting in our heritage in the CRC, back in the old country, a trend was happening as it is even more in our country, where its not a cult that seeks to overtake other spheres of created life that God has established, this is true when the governnment which should be limited and yet inteervene when other spheres are failing or needing help, but in socialism, communism , an overactive state - a nanny state, seek to overtake allthe function of famly and household. This background is helpful in hearing how a gospel church is to run with gospel tranformed relationships that upohold both the role of the church as a steward ot he gospel, and the spheres of creation like government, family, business, all in there good places.
What was happening in Ephesus is that the church, and it would seem partiuclarly under the influence of the false teachers, no longer was focusing on its real sphere of activity. They with there “super-spiritality” irreverent myths, geanolgoies, there insistence that God’s law didn’t apply to them - they didn’t care so much for pure worship and real prayer and devotion and growth in the teaching and application of God’s Word. Apparanetly they liked arguing, and they went from house to house. They could endlessly go on about honing their form of asecteicms - dyenying certain foods, and marriage. Hymaneus said the resrreciton had already happened, so old ordre of creation is done. In the middle of this the church which durin gthe apostolic age certianly took care of desititue widows and orphans, perhaps because the basic work of discipleship, gospel growth, of evenagelism and prayer, and real preaching didn’t really matter much to them, they went over board in their social welfare program. And all widowed women, whether in twenties to ffiteis or 60s, wre put on the widows list for support. And they were it would seem by these teachers forced to make a peldge not to marry. It is possbile some of these women were not even Christians and were put on th list for church support according to
but she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives.
Further more the last paragrpah doesn’tdeal with instruction for whom the church will support, but a special list of widows who performed special work of service to other widows and mothers and children and people in need in the church. Later developed into a designated list of widow church workers. And during this time in Ephesus of the false teachers, not only were some these younger widows breaking their vows to get married whicih is in fact good and desireable, but these younger widows, instead of really helping people, were using church rejsources and this position to do quite the opposite. Listne to he probleem Paul deines in the last paragraph:
Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not.
So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander.
Christianity is not a super-spriituality that is an esacape from this world and form the law of God for it. Men and women are not to idlers in this world - but al our to do something usful with their hands, work and earn and share. But from idlers like the false teachers who influenced them, goinog house to house supposedly helping, they become gossips and busybodies. Which it interesting theat Gordon Fee NT scholar at REgent in BC - has a connection withthe false teachers who also as busbodies and gossips, wre spreading false teaching about the gospel of Jesus and shipwrecking people’s real faith and obedience to the LORD.
Now before we get tot he gopsel solution theJesus good news to deal with these kinds of problems in the church and society. Do you think that this coud happen here? That social welfare or justice to those in some need could overshadow the purpose of the church. So that there is no difference between gospel minsitry and ministry of relief organization or. One of the things our denoination wrestles with. Something our deacons must wrestle with indivdiuals who wil ln ot work, or do not walk in the way of Christ, - should the church provide for them to keep living like that? We are to be a people of mercy and truth - that stand for transformation. And as someo fyou stdied in a small group, sometmes seeminglyhelpful merciful with oout the gospel, can result in helping that hurts, that enables people not to chagne and get stuck more in poverty or sin.
Well the advice that Paul comands Timtohy in this passage has a wonderful gospel wisdom about it = tath resulted in the tricky task of reducingthe number of widows the church suppported, in a way that re-shouldered the work of much of this on Christian families following their God-given repsonsiblities. Younger widows were encouraged to embrace life to the golry of God in a new way, and older widows empowered to to truly give to others with dignity and position.
KEY TRUTH: The gospel transforms our care for one-another in the church, with the needy, and in the home!
Paul begins this whole section with what I think is on eof the most insghtful passages about what our church life should like as a church family.
A. The Church is a Family that doesn’t replace but does supersede our Earthly Families.
This is an easily mistuderstood principle. It might seems that the church replaces our earthly families like a cult. People have misinterpreted Jesus pointswhen he says, that in order to love and follow him, we need to hate ourmother and father. The hyperbole Jesus uses isn’t saying, do a way with your love in family, but that if you love your friend, family more than Jesus - if you look to them as God and Saviour the way you must look to Jesus as Lord and Saviour, if you let other people play a role in your life that ony God should, your sunk! The other passage that leads to this misunderstanding is when Jesus says, to Mary his mother and his brotheres, who thought he was crazy and wanted to tak ehim home early in his minstry. Who are my mtoher and brothers? Looking around here they who do the will of God. Now again comparing Scripture to Scripture - you can see Jesus at the Cross, with on e of his last actions, to hnour and take of his mother even as he was on the pain of the Cross, saying my relatinhsps are different now - John here is you r mother, Mary here is your Son. You can see Jesus honouring our love to family so highly when he rebukes Pharisees for weaslin out of their obligation to take care elderly parents, pretending they ve taken a vow that let’s them ekeep therere money for themselves.
But noth of those passages do indicate that in this broken world , and even in the good created order fro the beginning, though family for this life is wonderful, the comoing of the Kingdom in part with Christ and in fullness in heaven, has relationshisp that supercede blood relationships. Family is great and we are not released from seeking al the creationalk good gGod has intended for us in our family relatinsihps, but even better at the same time is the fellowsh ip of bleivers.A communion with Jesus in friendship with those who want you to flourish in Christ, who will watch your back, to whom you can belong. And if you know som eo fht ebrokenness of family life, you know how precious it is too be part of a forever spritual family, veen while you have pain in in your eatrhtly famnily.
ve taken a vow that let’s them ekeep therere money for themselves.
Well, Paul begins his instruction to Tmorhty with those church realtinships in the background. But there is such a variety here - men, wmone young old. OUr culture wants to say in idnivdiualism that reduces all to sameness - that these categories don’t really matter. But Paul says they do, and teh very basic categories of the family are to be applied to the church. Timothy has to say some hard words to some older men, some of them leaders who aren’t going to like a change of direction or confrontation. Paul says, all our relaotnships with people in church have to be done as brothers and sisters in Christ, all blood bought forgiven sinners, all cam e inthe same way, all equally treasured by the LORD. But older men TImothy - don’t rebuke - t’s a physical word - don’t strike them - don’t assualt them with the truth. Stride in like Chrateon Heston, OT propeht or LEjah - and blast them with the trurth.Paul commands can’t rebuke like that, can’t rain down criticism and see at your duty to condmn. The idea is more like Jesus with the woman at the well, truth with love! Imagine your dad has done somehtingmorally wrong - bit of respect and trepedition - you don’t go in with verbal assault! What is Timothy’s task:
Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers,
Do you see it? There is that word from last week. Parakaleo - encourage/exhort. Rember taht’s how Tinmothy was to be devoted to public reading of teh Scripture, with teaching and what was the central thing that really makes it preaching, - parakaleo. YOu remember how I showed you even in 2 Tim Paul says those you have to ceorrect, older elders - not a bull in China shop but with gentleness - correct both waivering and those in gross error. Reverence like a father to the older men in Christ. Expect them to be fathers in this congregation. But that exhorting, is something Timothy must do in a differnt manner with younger ones. Rch Mullins sang a song: “My friends aren’t the way I wish theywere, they are just the way they are. I will be my brothers keeper, not the wone who judges him, won’t despise him for his weakness, I won’t regard him for his strength, I won’t take away his freedom, I will help him learn to stand. And I will be my brothers keeper.....
They are like borthers and sisters. NOw what’s the difference between how you treat borther or sister and a friend. Friends come and go, last a life time or a few months, depedns how it all pans out. But borther or sister, you stick wiht them for life don’tyou. YOu put up with a lot more from blood brother or sister - loyalty that transcends whether you like the or not. And true to this word Parakaleo - its easier to speak and receive word s of correection, real encouragemement from someone you know has your back for life.Now I wonder if you have any fathersi nthe Lord here, I ownder if you habve brothers and sisters that you relate to in this way, not just an earthly friendship but closer than a brother , spiritually with other Christians your age here.
Then Paul says, Timtohy you got to correct a mother in the face, agin that hnour and that respec, but look waht he adds about younger women.
older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.
Weare to have mothers of Sirael of the church in our congergation. In another letter Paul even talks of older women, mother of a friend, so deat, liek a mother to. I can tell you that some who have died in Exter, in our congregation, placed a kiss on their foreheads , held their hands as if they were my own mother. Not because replaced my earhtly mother - but because their help their encouragment, their realtinship liek spike spiritual mother tome!
No and care and teach and guide younger people here. What’s more when it comes to men like Timtohy who happen to be single but it referes to all men - in minstiry -spiritual care and direction - warmth can be mistaken for interest in a different kind of intimacy. And it can be exploited that way. Piruty includes of course sexual purity, but broeader with integretiy - not emoitonally inapproopriate not physically inappropriate.
Well Paul has more to say about this later but the basic psicture of spiritual fellowshi in this commuioni this household of God that transcends our earthly relatinhisp but doens’t replace them is set as a foundation here, for what he’s going to saynext about, a needy group within the church.
B. We Must Provide for Those in the Church without Family-Help
Now I very purposefully said needy group within the church bedcause it so happened that in their time and place, widows who normally brought a dowry into the marriage, and normally taken care of by family if husband died, if that dowry not available to her, and if family didn’t take her in, she would be utterly desitatue in a way we hardly see financiaily today. And we need to understand that today there could be other categories that require eqal atteniton - think of single moms who are godly - yet dvorced in this day and age can be very simolar neeed. I think also of adults with special needs - mentl or physciial challenges that require not just financial help but like the widows of that day and like single moms stretched to breakin gpoint in need of all sorts of support! What does the gospel say about that?
B.
Well, here the good news in the OT first. Our God is the God of the widow and the orphan. Here in his law at Sinaia explain the 10 commandments . Here how as a society God said widows and orphans would be taken care of. Every three years the whole tithe… Wow do you know how much God loves to take care of widows and orpahns. THis impulse lived in our Lord Jesus God incarnating - the triune God’s character - revealing His heart. He visited the widow, he praised her dignity in giving to God’s kingdom, Think of the early church - very first paractical need -was dily providsion for widows. So we need to say it that there is a real long term and deep support, finnancially but beyond that to widows who are really widows in the church. James says this kind of visitign widows and hel[ping in thieir distress is real religion!
But here also that the gospel doesn’t replace the structure of creation when it conmes to the family. It redeems it when its not htere, but listen to Pauls instruction:
But here also that the gospel doesn’t replace the structure of creation when it conmes to the family. It redeems it when its not htere, but listen to Pauls instruction:
But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.
Now I had to re-read that a few times. It is not the widows who are commanded to take car eof people in this middle paragraph. It is their children or grand children. YOu need to undertand that ordinarily the place that God is going to use as an arena to develop and gorw and test and exercise your Christain love isn’t first of all with friends, or even your church fmaily. But it is with your nearest neighbours - your own earthly family. Yes, James taking of widows in the church is more visible and seems more noble, but this is more basic. In your own family
Paul is giving such exalted tstatus to the action of caring for parents in their old age. This part of the 5th commandment, shows its not just about kids between 0-20 oveying while they’re in mom and dad’s house, itis about hnouring, - benefiting those God has ordained to be your enarest neighbours. That’s showing real godliness. And the exalted part of this is that wehen you show real Christian love and devotion like that - it is pleasing to God! In Christin ethics it is those who are nearest neighbours whom we have greatest obligation to. Then Paul desdcribes if someon in the church doesn’t have a family to porvide like this, what qualified them for the church’s help and there are really just two qualification.
She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day,
There is the need issue, she has no one but God to help her; and again I think of new convert college student, , someone falls in to unemployment and looking for work , famly should step in , should be seen as opproutnity to have love exercised, but eif someone here has no one. Should nt be likeR Kent Hughes - lived in home tow wdows, and aunt, tweinteis - church did nothgn for them. Not heistitate to ask forhellp, so too with special needs borthers and sisters, I have a sresopblsibty to provide for .. hope uncle aunts taken in, when parents gone, but if not famioly - our church should! and look what else she uses her time in a more consecntrated prayer than most people They see that even our hardships are under God’s sovereignty and the station of life gives more time for prayer and probably more compassion for those who are also in the same baot or similar suffering. So that verb tense means they regularly in habit of prayer - thin of Shirlee Koort and her prayer regeime.
Then Paul desdcribes if someon in the church doesn’t have a family to porvide like this, what qualified them for the church’s help and there are really just two qualification. There is the need issue
And Paul contrasts that attidue of prayer and service to God’s people with widows who would be disqualified from church help: as those who live self-indulgent lives. Descriptoin of sinners who are unrepentant and aren’t struggl ing and being transfored - living dead - think living for their pelasures, like merery wdows of Windsor - free from all obligations - pleasures bring only spiritual death. Quite the opposite these widows wer are to support in our family and an in the church are expected to have need but not to dbe ddilers , who spiritually dead, bring no sservice to God.
And with taht Paul concludes this middle instruction on helping widows with a strong and getneral command about how importatnt - serving and supporting our own family is
But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Paul greatly cared abouthte reuptation believers had with unbeleivers, and he knwew our wlak talk ouder than our talk talks. Don’t need a t-shirt, or bumper stickers first of all, but need love in action that is seen. Scandfle of the Christain living is that pagan’s get godliness in terms of taking care of our own better than some Christains. Roman story…
s, “After realizing the fighting was no longer of use, that Troy was doomed, [Aeneas] carried his father, Anchises, on his shoulders out of the burning city, holding his son Ascanius by the hand, with his wife, Creusa, following behind.”7It would be hard to find a more manful image than this. It brings the firemen charging into the burning towers on 9/11 to mind. Most people would find it inspiring. It even has the potential of giving a heroic cast to the routine tasks of domestic life. While they would have admired the picture, I don’t think that this is what the preachers of my youth had in mind when they talked about piety. They talked about Bibles, and notebooks, and being alone with God, preferably in the woods on a summer day. So, what were the Romans thinking of when they called this piety?
PIETY: Divine; this is the reason cited by Poseidon in the Iliad for saving Aeneas from death at the hand of Achilles. And in the Aeneid he is always mindful of the gods, constant in prayer and thanks, and dutiful in sacrifice. But the words pius and pietas have in Latin a wider meaning. Perhaps the best English equivalent is something like “dutiful,” “mindful of one’s duty”—not only to the gods but also to one’s family and to one’s country. Here Knox alludes to the Aeneid, another epic poem, this one written by Virgil. In the first century Virgil was so important he was the court poet of Augustus, the Emperor of Rome. But Virgil didn’t invent the story contained in the Aeneid: it was legendary, and it was believed to be as much a part
PIETY: Divine; this is the reason cited by Poseidon in the Iliad for saving Aeneas from death at the hand of Achilles. And in the Aeneid he is always mindful of the gods, constant in prayer and thanks, and dutiful in sacrifice. But the words pius and pietas have in Latin a wider meaning. Perhaps the best English equivalent is something like “dutiful,” “mindful of one’s duty”—not only to the gods but also to one’s family and to one’s country.8 Here Knox alludes to the Aeneid, another epic poem, this one written by Virgil. In the first century Virgil was so important he was the court poet of Augustus, the Emperor of Rome. But Virgil didn’t invent the story contained in the Aeneid: it was legendary, and it was believed to be as much a part
But lastly stand amazed at how the gospel works in our needs. You mahy be tempted to think of this passage for what work of mercy needy people should receive. But listen we’re all needy and the gospel takes needy oeople and in our need and dependence ont he grace of God, Christ takes needy peole and just like that widowwith the two farthings., who gave out of her lack, equips us needy Crhsitains we who must rely on others in this fellowship - to become the big givers. That’s the wonder of this last paragrpah.
So far we have care of those who find themselves in need with in the church but also within in our own families. But watch this, those in that need, are to consider their new life station and devote it to service to the LORD appropriate to that station.
C. We must Empower all to Service, including those who need help
I love this passage for how it frees younger widows to pursue marriage in a full and free godly life. Paul gave widows the freedom to re-marry and indeed encouraged it. And though some may have a gift, calling of singleness, ordinarly mariage is something to be purused its a vcalling that rquires some work to puruse. A younger woman finding her self single, Paul contrasts what the idler, gossipy, pelasure seeking life of with what:
So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander.
In the same way marriage is to be pursued, so is having children. So is their managing, leading a household, Real work - a household econcmic centre back then, as able to have children, see it as a calling. As able to cotnrubte to organizaiton, business go for it. Real work real calling in noblest work fof bring children and readring them. It is for this reason that Pual says, that t is wrong to enroll younger widows into this order of church servants and make them take a vow not to marry. When Paul says they have passion not necesarily sinful passion, but youthful - and in this case desire to be married. Pursue it. And don’t force such a woman to promise not to marry.
But the real focus o this last instruction is that there is a type of widow that the church is to engage in wonedrufl service and minstiry and purpose in avery specifi way. At this time in the Roman Empire a decline in the brith rate of male children so much, that an Emporeor made a law for women to maryr, and even forced that for widows, partiucalry wdiows to the age of 50 or 60. And so Paul says when a woman is beyond the age of that desire to et married, thoughthy certainly could if they wanted, but if not legally bound to marry by Rome, and culturually and perosnally not desiring the staet oof marriage with the service it requires there, let such a widow - if had been a one man woman when married, if they have a reputation sofr goods works, then enroll them. That is a techinical term for enrolling peole to pay taxes, for solider s to be numbered for an upcomiong battle:
Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband,
And the good works shes exhibited are notable if in the same way mdoeled a good marriage, they have reared children, able to relate well and teach youger mothers, huge one sown hospitality - strangers welcomed into her home, remember what Jesus said, wash each other feet, saints - borthes and sisters in need - humble for travelling pastors - but any need. Care fo rhte afflicted, persecution borke out sporadically some left truly afflicted, Erno about to go crazy - you know what this means to go to people going through troube.
Our text shows us that we need visitation team, not super formal orgnaization yet, but door to door, unlike false teacherss, with real Christian love, understanding . Can you think lof Lydia in Acts , the women who walked with Jesus some of these widows endowed with moeny from suport of church others their own - means to help others. This isn’t the female version of the deacon, but it is the informal service of mercy. Stratford organize women minsitering to other women and children. Polycapr writing to Ignatius a gerneation or two later, Body of widows with a defintie function “Task of these women was their experienced training in al the affections rendeded them capable of readily asisting all others with councel vare. Duty to give counsel to young meonn, to pray and fast, visit the sick, prepare women for baptism and give widows and orpahs, bring those women to communion. Teruliian in 204 AD
What a dynamic gospel minstiry - those in need supported, but those in need but eqipped rendering assistance and iparting counsel. Instead of causing problems in churches, peole not cetnred on the gospel nor the servieo f olvei , gospel solution to problem with gospel relationshisp.
Flase teaching, an ddisplacinghte gospel with even social welfare will kill true Christian love, won’t have reliatinships tranformed by the gopsel. Paul calls us to caring and accoutnable gospel changed families, and even beyond that to palce wehre comfort and building up transcends our families. No surprise that when dead orthodoxy legalism, all word no spirit, and when all spirit and no gospel word end up with relatnship that destory and demoan. Where not only real needs are neglected, real help dminished, but verbal assaults and dispresect hurled . We are to be a vulnerable close knit grou - coehre with the gopsel, experience life in our own famlies but also in this church famlyanalgous to the family
It is a call to wisdom and to action. “But my relationship to Jesus is personal,” you may say, “and I don’t see what it has to do with any other duties you might name.” To be personal is already to be enmeshed in a web of responsibilities, in the duties of gratitude and love. Aeneas carried his crippled old father Anchises on his back, as Wiley shows us, not just because he had a peculiar love for the old man, but because that is what the pious son must do. If we lose this sense of filial piety, we might as well cease calling our God by the name Jesus teaches us to call Him: Father. And many a self-styled Christian has done so, Christians daring to imply that they are wiser than Jesus. At which point the faith staggers and falls, and what is left? A social club for old ladies with a taste for spirituality,
It is a call to wisdom and to action. “But my relationship to Jesus is personal,” you may say, “and I don’t see what it has to do with any other duties you might name.” To be personal is already to be enmeshed in a web of responsibilities, in the duties of gratitude and love. Aeneas carried his crippled old father Anchises on his back, as Wiley shows us, not just because he had a peculiar love for the old man, but because that is what the pious son must do. If we lose this sense of filial piety, we might as well cease calling our God by the name Jesus teaches us to call Him: Father. And many a self-styled Christian has done so, Christians daring to imply that they are wiser than Jesus. At which point the faith staggers and falls, and what is left? A social club for old ladies with a taste for spirituality,
PIETY: Divine; this is the reason cited by Poseidon in the Iliad for saving Aeneas from death at the hand of Achilles. And in the Aeneid he is always mindful of the gods, constant in prayer and thanks, and dutiful in sacrifice. But the words pius and pietas have in Latin a wider meaning. Perhaps the best English equivalent is something like “dutiful,” “mindful of one’s duty”—not only to the gods but also to one’s family and to one’s country.8 Here Knox alludes to the Aeneid, another epic poem, this one written by Virgil. In the first century Virgil was so important he was the court poet of Augustus, the Emperor of Rome. But Virgil didn’t invent the story contained in the Aeneid: it was legendary, and it was believed to be as much a part
Wiley, C.R.. The Household and the War for the Cosmos: Recovering a Christian Vision for the Family . Canon Press. Kindle Edition.
Wiley, C.R.. The Household and the War for the Cosmos: Recovering a Christian Vision for the Family . Canon Press. Kindle Edition.
Wiley, C.R.. The Household and the War for the Cosmos: Recovering a Christian Vision for the Family . Canon Press. Kindle Edition.
Wiley, C.R.. The Household and the War for the Cosmos: Recovering a Christian Vision for the Family . Canon Press. Kindle Edition.