How to Grow Abundantly in Loving One Another

How do we as a church learn to genuinely love one another? How do we develop a culture in our church where we naturally have brotherly and sisterly affection for each other? What does that kind of church even look like? In our Western culture, our individualistic culture- how do we become a church full of people with love in our hearts for each other?

We know what the opposite of that kind of church looks like don’t we? We have heard of the horror stories of church splits. We have heard of believers splitting the church over the color of the carpet, what side the piano should go on. We have heard of believers splitting churches over pet theological agendas- the isms and onlys. I would say those kinds of churches have no idea what it means to have brotherly and sisterly affection for one another, they have no idea what it means to love (to agape) one another.

Well pastor, we are not that kind of church- and I would agree we are not that kind of church- at least not to that level. But do we really love one another? Do we have the affection that you would show toward a sibling (a brother or a sister), do you have that kind of affection for everyone here in this local church? Now, maybe you do for some people in this church. But, maybe there are people in this church that you have seen for years and years and yet they are essentially still strangers to you. You don’t really know them and you probably don’t really love them.

Just ask yourself this question- when was the last time God burdened your heart for someone in this church to pray as earnestly as possible for them. Have you ever prayed that way for someone in this church? How many of the people in this church have you prayed for that way? Why do you think that is?

Now, I am not saying that this is an unloving church- exactly the opposite. You constantly amaze me by the love that you do show- especially in the area of giving. But, have we stagnated in our love? Is our love for one another growing abundantly? How exactly does God want us to love each other? How do we even go about creating that kind of culture in our church? Don’t you want to be part of a church that is excelling all the time and growing in love?

I think Paul tells the church of the Thessalonians how to do exactly that in I Thessalonians 4:9-12.

Briefly I want you to remember the context of this part of Paul’s letter.

1 Thessalonians 3:10 KJV 1900

10 Night and day praying exceedingly that we might see your face, and might perfect that which is lacking in your faith?

How?

1 Thessalonians 4:2 KJV 1900

2 For ye know what commandments we gave you by the Lord Jesus.

The first series of commands that Paul reminds them of have to do with the idea of sanctification in vv. 3-8.

1 Thessalonians 4:3 KJV 1900

3 For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:

Now, Paul moves on to the topic of love in vv. 9-12.

Paul wrote to the Thessalonians to urge them to continually keep growing abundantly in their love for one another.

Beloved, we must also continually keep on growing abundantly in our love for one another as a local church.

How do we do that?

How do we always grow abundantly in our love for each other?

Paul shows us three truths that we must believe and put into practice on a daily basis if we are to continually keep on growing abundantly in our love for one another.

I. If we are going to grow abundantly in our love for one another we must constantly be taught by God to love one another (vv. 9-10a)

1 Thessalonians 4:9–10 KJV 1900

9 But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another. 10 And indeed ye do it toward all the brethren which are in all Macedonia: but we beseech you, brethren, that ye increase more and more;

A. Brotherly affection for one another is an organic byproduct of being taught by God to love one another (v. 9)

1 Thessalonians 4:9 KJV 1900

9 But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another.

9 Περὶ δὲ τῆς φιλαδελφίας

Now concerning brotherly affection

οὐ χρείαν ⸀ἔχετε ⸁γράφειν ὑμῖν,

you have no need for anyone to write unto you,

αὐτοὶ γὰρ ὑμεῖς θεοδίδακτοί ἐστε

for you yourselves are taught by God

εἰς τὸ ἀγαπᾶν ἀλλήλους*,

to love one another,

I find this incredible that Paul cay say- on the topic of treating one another with brotherly and sisterly affection- I DON’T HAVE TO TELL YOU ANYTHING!

That means that the Thessalonian church was such a healthy church, they were such a thriving church that all of the believers had this sibling like affection for all of the other believers in the church. There were no clicks or divisions or conflicts or arguments! Paul said- you are already doing it so well that I don’t have to tell you anything! That is remarkable. And it is unique! It wasn’t always the case in Paul’s letters.

1 Corinthians 1:10–11 ESV

10 I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment. 11 For it has been reported to me by Chloe’s people that there is quarreling among you, my brothers.

It was exactly the opposite in the church in Thessalonica! Why do you think that is?

1 Thessalonians 4:9 KJV 1900

9 But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another.

φιλαδελφία- brotherly affection- brotherly love n. — the affection naturally befitting the relationship between siblings; especially as the affection of those who are now siblings in God’s family.

The Thessalonians were already exhibiting the affection of those who are no siblings in God’s family. Why?

For/ Because- they were constantly being “God-taught” to love (agape) / self-sacrificially love one another.

Because they were being taught by God Himself to agape one another- or self-sacrificially love one another- it was not problem to φιλαδελφία one another.

Illustration: Archery practice- how do you get really good at a 20 yard shot? Practice at 80 yards. After you have put 40 arrows down range at 80 yards and you move up to 20 yards you find yourself thinking, “this is a piece of cake.”

Why did the Thessalonians have brotherly affection for one another- because they were being taught by God to self-sacrificially love one another. And by constantly sacrificing themselves for each other- having brotherly affection for one another was a piece of cake.

In other words brotherly affection happened easily and naturally as a byproduct of learning the much deep form of love- agape love. And Paul didn’t have to teach them that because they were constantly being taught that kind of love by God Himself.

Now how? In what way were they being taught by God to love one another?

B. God taught them to love one another through life-on-life teaching of the Word of God (v. 10 a)

1 Thessalonians 4:10 KJV 1900

10 And indeed ye do it toward all the brethren which are in all Macedonia: but we beseech you, brethren, that ye increase more and more;

“Indeed you do IT toward all the brethren.” What is the “IT” referring to in v. 10?

Back up to v. 9

1 Thessalonians 4:9 KJV 1900

9 But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another.

I understand the “IT” in v. 10 to be a reference to the “love one another” at the end of v.9.

Paul says, “you yourselves are taught by God to agape love one another- And indeed you are also doing agape love unto all the brethren which are in Macedonia.

Notice also, Paul says you are DOING it- they are DOING love. How do you DO love? It sounds like their love is an action- it is something that they can DO.

So what were the Thessalonians doing that was the expression of their love?

And who were they doing agape love to? V. 10 says they were doing it toward all the brothers in Macedonia. Do we know exactly what the ministry of the Thessalonians looked like to the rest of the believers in Macedonia?

Look back at chapter 1.

1 Thessalonians 1:6 KJV 1900

6 And ye became followers of us, and of the Lord, having received the word in much affliction, with joy of the Holy Ghost:

They became followers / imitators of Paul and of the Lord- Paul spiritually reproduced himself in the Thessalonians.

1 Thessalonians 1:7 KJV 1900

7 So that ye were ensamples to all that believe in Macedonia and Achaia.

The Thessalonians then became examples to all that believe in Macedonia- they turned around and they spiritually reproduced themselves in the believers lives in Macedonia and Achaia.

They were not only examples, but they taught them everything they knew about commandments of the Lord Jesus that they had learned from Paul. What exactly did they teach?

1 Thessalonians 1:9 KJV 1900

9 For they themselves shew of us what manner of entering in we had unto you, and how ye turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God;

1 Thessalonians 1:10 KJV 1900

10 And to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead, even Jesus, which delivered us from the wrath to come.

And they did this so thoroughly that Paul said back in v. 8

1 Thessalonians 1:8 KJV 1900

8 For from you sounded out the word of the Lord not only in Macedonia and Achaia, but also in every place your faith to God-ward is spread abroad; so that we need not to speak any thing.

Now put all of this together- go back to 4.9-10.

1 Thessalonians 4:9–10 KJV 1900

In other words the expression of their love- the action of the doing of their love toward the brethren in Macedonia was what? Life-on-life teaching of the Word of God. Paul taught the Thessalonians everything that he knew, and the Thessalonians taught the Macedonian believers everything that they knew about the Word of God.

And it was in this context, where each individual believer took part in being an example to another believer and in teaching them personally the Word of God, that God taught them to love one another.

In other words there is nothing more powerful in causing you to grow abundantly in your love for one another than to participate in personal, life-on-life teaching of the Word of God with each other.

Personal examples- Mom, Malinda, Joyce, Anita, Dad, Doug, Jan, Dan

If we are to continually keep on growing abundantly in our love for one another then we must be taught by God to love one another!

II. If we are going to grow abundantly in our love for one another we must constantly seek for ways to be outstanding at life-on-life teaching of God’s Word (v. 10b)

1 Thessalonians 4:10 KJV 1900

10 And indeed ye do it toward all the brethren which are in all Macedonia: but we beseech you, brethren, that ye increase more and more;

A. Life-on-life teaching of God’s Word must be the heartbeat of the church (v. 10a)

And indeed ye do it toward all the brethren which are in all Macedonia:

Let’s look at the scope of what Paul is saying- all the believers in all of Macedonia!

Interestingly, Macedonia or modern day Greece is roughly the size of the state of Wisconsin.

Greece is approximately 131,957 sq km, while Wisconsin is approximately 140,663 sq km.

How do I know that life-on-life teaching was their heartbeat? Look at how God caused their love to abound! What kind of impact have we had? What is missing? If this kind of ministry is the will of God- it must be repeatable in any era of time, in any culture, anywhere in the world! If God could abundantly grow the Thessalonian’s love through life-on-life personal teaching of the Word of God so that they reached all of Macedonian, can’t He do the same thing for us here in Wisconsin?

What needs to happen? Our love for one another must grow abundantly- and that only happens when God Himself teaches us to love one another and that only happens when we make the heartbeat of our church one life-to a life-for life teaching of the Word of God.

B. Life-on-life teaching of God’s Word must never stop being the heartbeat of the church (v. 10b)

1 Thessalonians 4:10 KJV 1900

10 And indeed ye do it toward all the brethren which are in all Macedonia: but we beseech you, brethren, that ye increase more and more;

παρακαλοῦμεν δὲ ὑμᾶς, ἀδελφοί,

But we urge you, brethren,

περισσεύειν μᾶλλον*

to excel/ to be outstanding/ to progress still more,

1 Thessalonians 4:1 KJV 1900

1 Furthermore then we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have received of us how ye ought to walk and to please God, so ye would abound more and more.

Walk and please God- be outstanding more and more

Love one another through life-on-life teaching of God’s Word- be outstanding more and more, grow abundantly more and more, excel / progress / increase- NEVER STOP!

This has to be the heartbeat of the culture or the mindset of our church today- and in 15 years from now, if God allows us to impact all of the believers in all of Wisconsin- guess what we do? increase more and more! We never stop being taught by God to love one another!

We always keep on growing abundantly in loving one another.

How?

1. We must constantly be taught by God to love one another.

2. We must constantly seek for ways to be outstanding at life-on-life teaching of God’s Word.

III. If we are going to grow abundantly in our love for one another we must constantly make sure that we do not become distracted by self-driven agendas (vv. 11-12)

1 Thessalonians 4:11–12 KJV 1900

11 And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you; 12 That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing.

A. When the heartbeat of our lives becomes loving one another self-driven agendas naturally stop being an issue (v. 11)

Paul not only urges them to increase more and more in loving one another- but he also urges them to “study” or the idea is to make it their ambition, or to aspire to a certain high and lofty goal. As a parent might tell a child when they are young, “I want you to aspire to be a doctor,” so Paul is telling these believers I want you to aspire to be something.

What does Paul want them to aspire to?

“And that you study to be quiet”- I want you to aspire to living a quiet life.

This is the idea of leading a life that is free from disruption or commotion, it is conduct that does not disturb the peace or the public order.

I think this is both in the community in which you live and in the church in which you serve!

Ephesians 4:3 KJV 1900

3 Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Titus 1:11 ESV

11 They must be silenced, since they are upsetting whole families by teaching for shameful gain what they ought not to teach.

Listen, when we make the main thing the main thing- that is growing abundantly in our love for one another. And how do we best do that? It’s the Great Commission right? Life-on-life teaching of God’s Word.

Matthew 28:20 KJV 1900

20 Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.

When the heartbeat of our lives becomes loving one another we will naturally become people who aspire to live a life of peace. There won’t be church splits over the color of the carpet. And there won’t be personally driven theological agendas in the church- the isms and the onlys. Because, when you make the main thing the main thing, and you understand how much joy there is in loving one another- none of that other stuff matters!! And it just happens as a byproduct. We get serious about what God cares about and we become a people who live in peace.

2. Aspire- “to do your own business” or to attend to your own affairs.

The idea is you do not become a busybody. You do not medal in the affairs of others that do not concern you.

Now there is a big difference in sacrificing yourself in love for others in teaching them how to become more like Jesus Christ, and being too concerned in other people’s business. Usually, the difference is obvious. In one case we are loving other people in order to help them grow. In the other case we are tearing people down in order to build up our own egos.

For instance- when you see someone walk into church for the first time, have you ever had the thought instantly pop into your head, “Do you see what he / she is wearing??? I would never wear something like that!” What if someone walked into church with “improper” clothes or “improper” hair or they are covered in tattoos and they look nothing like you? If the heartbeat of your life is loving other people and your main commission is the Great Commission what isn’t going to be going through you mind? What will you care most about? And that is a byproduct of being a Great Commission minded believer. That has to be the heartbeat of our church. We cannot get distracted! We must excel more and more at that! Then all of these other agendas will just fall by the wayside.

3. Aspire to work with your own hands as we commanded you.

People who have a heartbeat for loving one another, and they get involved in teaching each other the Bible, they are the ones who also get busy and get to work. They don’t sit in a pew, they don’t slack off at work, or refuse to get a job- they become what God created them for and that is to work.

Genesis 1:28 ESV

28 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

And then we won’t have a church were 10% of the people do 90% of the work. And I won’t have to twist your arm from the pulpit- instead you will naturally be taught by God to love and as a result you will get busy and get to work.

Illus: Deacon offering to do the work on the hymnals.

B. When the heartbeat of our lives becomes loving one another it results in maintaing a good testimony in our community (v. 12)

1 Thessalonians 4:12 KJV 1900

12 That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing.

12 ἵνα περιπατῆτε εὐσχημόνως

So that you might behave properly

πρὸς τοὺς ἔξω

toward outsiders

καὶ μηδενὸς χρείαν ἔχητε*.

And you might not be in any need.

This is a purpose statement- Aspire to make the main thing the main thing which results in peaceful people, who are not busybodies, and who are diligent hard workers—so that

1. You may walk honestly toward them that are without- you might behave properly toward unbelievers.

What kind of testimony would we be as a church if we can’t we are divisive and if we are malicious gossips and busybodies and if we are lazy and slothful? Why would anyone in our community want to be like that?

But when we make the main thing the main thing- and we are always growing abundantly in love for one another and that love flows outward into our town- and they see people who once were sinners now transformed by the grace of God what kind of impact will that have?

2. And that you may have lack of nothing.

You will become a hardworking productive people and you will be able to provide for yourselves financially so that you will not become a burden on the church. In fact just the opposite our church will be in a position to help others who have a need- and what will that do for our testimony?

Paul wrote to the Thessalonians to urge them to continually keep growing abundantly in their love for one another.

Beloved, we must also continually keep on growing abundantly in our love for one another as a local church.

How do we do that?

How do we always grow abundantly in our love for each other?

1. We must constantly be taught by God to love one another.

2. We must constantly seek for ways to be outstanding at life-on-life teaching of God’s Word.

3. We must constantly make sure that we do not become distracted by self-driven agendas.

Imagine what our church could accomplish for the gospel of Jesus Christ if we learn to grow abundantly- more and more- in loving one another?

What kind of impact could we have on our community? Our State? Our Nation? And then to the utter most parts of the earth.

It is possible! What is our heartbeat? What is our mindset? What is our Commission? Let’s love God with all our being and then constantly grow in loving one another!

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