Proverbs 6:20 My son, keep your father's commands and do not forsake your mother's teaching. 21 Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck. 22 When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. 23 For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life,
If I am truly involved in the lives of my children then I may not be totally blindsided when they do things that they shouldn’t do.
How do I correct my children?
1. There must be a goal in mind. Something that you are deliberately grooming them toward. There should be a purpose for the things that you build into them.
2. Discipline should provide children with principles that will outlast you. You won’t always be there and the things that we give to them need to be reliable. They need to be time-tested, based upon spiritual laws that govern our lives.
3. With diligence. This means that you are actively involved in the lives of your children when all is well. You are not the person who suddenly is there when they do something wrong and that you show up each time there is a wrinkle. It would seem to me that we would resent the parent who intrudes in times of trouble but abdicates at other times. Often trouble is merely the cry that gets our attention when the real need is prior to the offense. Our roles change as our children grow.
4. With devotion. Discipline is an expression of love in the scriptures. It is a difficult process to be embraced for the higher good.
TEN WAYS TO LOVE YOUR KIDS
There is great joy in children! They are a gift from God and meant to be a tremendous source of blessing. They need to hear from parents how special they are, and they need to hear it in terms they understand and believe.
How to communicate love to your children:
* Establish boundaries for their lives. By setting boundaries you convey your love for them by saying, I love you too much to let you grow up in any way other than the way I know will honor God and bless you. Boundaries are only as strong as you are willing to enforce them.
* Enjoy them. It's fun to have kids. Enjoy the time with them. Fill your home with smiles, laughter, and a little bit of craziness.
* Expose your humanness to them. Let your kids hear you say, I'm sorry. I blew it when you make a mistake. Whether blowing your stack without all the facts, or saying something you later regretted, mistakes are part of parenting. Admitting your human inadequacies face-to-face teaches them by example.
* Explain the reasons behind your decisions. Because I said so ought to be stricken from every parent's vocabulary. It should be your goal to help them reason through your decisions. That doesn't mean they will always accept your judgments, but at least they need to understand the rationale behind those decisions.
* Exchange ideas with them. Your children will know they're something special when you take the time to exchange ideas with them. When you expose them to an intellectual life beyond the routines of a busy household, they will see that you are treating them as valuable people. And many times they grasp more from these exchanges than you suppose.
* Encourage them. Encouragement in regular and massive doses is probably the best thing you can give your kids to help them know you are on their team. Be a cheerleader for your kids, helping them to believe in themselves. Keep searching for opportunities to encourage your kids - they need it so much.
* Help them to believe they can go further than they dream. God invites you to challenge your sons and daughters to look beyond where they are to imagine a broader and richer and greater future.
* Physically express what you feel in your heart. It's a delight to hug a 2-year-old, but how easy it is to get out of that habit as the child enters the teen years. You can never receive too many hugs - no matter what age. When you express your emotion in hugs and tears, without fear of rejection, then your children will enjoy the greatest security they can ever know.
* Examine your marriage regularly. You best communicate love when they see that the commitment Mom and Dad have to each other is so deep that they will never violate that commitment and leave the children to deal with the results.
* Exercise great patience with them. It takes a lot of patience to be a parent. But God uses the hard times of family life to bind families together.
From Gifts from God by Dr. David Jeremiah
Parents Certainly Are Misunderstood!
By Steven C. Staats
You thought you were happily smiling at your child from a hard stadium seat or a hot packed auditorium, But your child looked at your face and saw approval of him and joy in what he was doing.
You thought that you were just patting him on the back or on the head, or just ruffling his hair, But your child cherished the warm loving touch and his heart was brightened.
You thought you were reading a bedtime story with all the funny and scary voices, But your child enjoyed the fact you read every word even though he had heard them a hundred times before.
You thought you were letting your child help paint the house even though the paint got kind of runny and drippy in places, But your child knew that you were working together as a family and felt a sense of accomplishment as a family.
You thought you were singing silly songs or counting the cows on a long boring trip, But your child learned that it was fun being together no matter where you were.
You thought you were spending a few minutes of your time by throwing a ball in the back yard or baking some cookies, But your child, who realized that your time is precious, knew you were investing it in him.
You thought that you asked your child's opinion about something that wasn't too important, But your child thought you asked because his opinions and thoughts were important.
You thought you were being a good host by inviting your child's friends in for a cool snack on a warm summer day, But your child knew that his friends were important to you and always welcome in your home.
You thought the tears in you eyes went unnoticed when your child accomplished an important goal in his life, But your child knew that he was deeply imbedded in your heart and you sensed his accomplishment.
You thought that the refrigerator was as good of a place as any for hanging all the art work and "well done" papers that came home from school, But your child felt important when he came home from school each day with something to show you and tack up in his personal hall of fame.
You thought you gave your child some simple chore or job to do and told him, "Well done.", with a smile when he did it, But your child learned responsibility and began to realize he could tackle even tougher things.
You thought you were helping a troubled restless child get some sleep by fixing a cup of hot cocoa, But your child felt that you were opening your heart around a kitchen table and making all the problems a lot smaller.
You thought the vacation wasn't much of a success because the fish didn't bite and the sun didn't shine, But your child still remembers everything that happened and he still laughs at all of the funny parts.
You thought you were just pointing out the words in the church hymn book with your child's finger as he tried to sing along, But your child learned that singing praises to God in worship was important.
You thought you were just giving him a quick hug at a special moment or "just because", But your child carried it with him for a long time, because what you really said was, "I'm proud of you!", or "I love you!"
You thought you were just giving him a little kiss on the cheek to tell him good bye as he left for school, But your child felt warm and loved because he knew there would be another one waiting for him when he got home.
Come to think of it, there are a lot of times when parents really are misunderstood!