A Dysfunctional Family - Genesis 27:1-28:9

©July 14th, 2019 by Rev. Rick Goettsche SERIES: Genesis

Every family has their moments. Sometimes everyone loves each other, defends each other, and gets along well. Other times they fight and are hurtful to one another. Hopefully, your family falls more into the former category than the latter. But at some point, all families are somewhat dysfunctional. Often our families do not function the way God intended them.

This morning we will once again look at the family of Isaac and Rebekah, and we will see the depth of their dysfunction, as well as drawing some principles that can help us avoid their mistakes. Today we look at the familiar (yet fascinating) account of Jacob (and his mom) deceiving his father into giving him the blessing intended for his brother Esau. No one is innocent in this account. Everyone went their own way instead of trusting and following the Lord.

Isaac’s Plan

The story begins innocently enough,

One day when Isaac was old and turning blind, he called for Esau, his older son, and said, “My son.” “Yes, Father?” Esau replied. 2“I am an old man now,” Isaac said, “and I don’t know when I may die. 3Take your bow and a quiver full of arrows, and go out into the open country to hunt some wild game for me. 4Prepare my favorite dish, and bring it here for me to eat. Then I will pronounce the blessing that belongs to you, my firstborn son, before I die.” (Genesis 27:1-4, NLT)

Isaac was getting old. He was basically blind, and he believed his death may be imminent, so he desired to give his firstborn son, Esau, a blessing before he died. He sent Esau out in the field to catch some wild game and prepare it for him, because that was his favorite dish.

It is easy for us to miss something very important here: Isaac was acting in opposition to God’s plan. If you recall back when Rebekah was pregnant, God told them this,

23And the Lord told her, “The sons in your womb will become two nations. From the very beginning, the two nations will be rivals. One nation will be stronger than the other; and your older son will serve your younger son.” (Genesis 25:23, NLT)

God told them before the boys were ever born that the younger son would be the greater one. Jacob would be the one through whom God’s promise would be fulfilled. Isaac was trying to go against God’s plan. He planned to bless Esau and declare that his brother Jacob would serve him, even though this was the opposite of what God said would happen.

This may explain why this conversation seemed to happen in relative secrecy. Normally the blessing of the firstborn would be something that would happen publicly, but Isaac seemed to be attempting to do this quietly. I suspect this is because he knew what he was doing was rebellious. He also knew his wife wouldn’t stand for it. Nevertheless, he sent Esau out into the wilderness to hunt some game for him so he could enjoy his food before blessing his oldest son.

Let’s make an important observation: it is foolish to try to thwart God’s plan. Isaac knew what God had said, but he wanted to do things his own way. When we put ourselves up against the Lord, we will lose. We would be wise not to fight against Him. The flip side of this, however, is that those around us who seem to be fighting against the Lord will not ultimately prevail. Rather than wringing our hands at the things going on around us, we should turn to the Lord and pray for Him to intervene. Regardless of His timing, or how things look from the outside, we know God’s plan cannot be thwarted…so we would be wise not to try!

Rebekah’s Plan

Though Isaac thought he was having a private conversation, he was not. Rebekah overheard everything. This may be for several reasons. It might be that as Isaac got older and his hearing began to fail him, he talked louder than he realized. It might be because tents don’t lend much privacy, or it might be that Rebekah was listening at the door, trying to outsmart her husband. Whatever the case was, she heard Isaac’s plan, and decided to set her own plan into motion to thwart her husband.

Now some have defended Rebekah, saying she was acting on God’s behalf…but that isn’t really the case. That may have been how she justified her actions, but she acted deceitfully. God doesn’t need us to act sinfully in order to help Him carry out His plans. This is a recurring theme in the book of Genesis. We saw it with Abraham and Sarah as well. When we justify sinful behavior by saying we’re doing it to help God, we are asking for trouble. It is never right to do what is wrong! Truly trusting God’s providence means that even when we don’t see how God can accomplish His plan without our sinful intervention, we continue doing what we know is right and trusting that He will still deliver—just maybe not in the way or timing we envisioned. Rebekah may have told herself she was trying to help God, but she was really acting faithlessly…and it didn’t turn out well for her.

Nonetheless Rebekah found Jacob, her favorite son, and told him Isaac planned to bless Esau that day, but they were going to trick him so Jacob would get the blessing instead. She planned to make Isaac a meal she knew he’d like, then Jacob would sneak into the tent and serve it to his nearly blind father, pretending to be Esau, so Isaac would give him Esau’s blessing.

When Jacob heard the plan he objected to it. But he didn’t object because he thought it was wrong and deceitful, he objected because he thought he was going to get caught! His response to his mother is one of those passages I find humorous.

11“But look,” Jacob replied to Rebekah, “my brother, Esau, is a hairy man, and my skin is smooth. 12What if my father touches me? He’ll see that I’m trying to trick him, and then he’ll curse me instead of blessing me.” 13But his mother replied, “Then let the curse fall on me, my son! Just do what I tell you. Go out and get the goats for me!” 14So Jacob went out and got the young goats for his mother. Rebekah took them and prepared a delicious meal, just the way Isaac liked it. 15Then she took Esau’s favorite clothes, which were there in the house, and gave them to her younger son, Jacob. 16She covered his arms and the smooth part of his neck with the skin of the young goats. 17Then she gave Jacob the delicious meal, including freshly baked bread. (Genesis 27:11-17, NLT)

One of the big differences between Jacob and Esau’s physical appearance was that Esau was a very hairy man, while Jacob was not. What I find funny is the way Rebekah solved this problem. She covered Jacob’s arms and the back of his neck with goat skin! Isaac seems to have been convinced that the goat hide felt like Esau, which means Esau was one really hairy guy!

In addition to dressing Jacob in goat hair, Rebekah also stole a set of Esau’s clothes and gave them to Jacob so that he would also smell like his brother. Since Isaac couldn’t see, she deceived his other senses: his touch, smell, and even his taste in order to fool him. Once Jacob dressed in his disguise (surely feeling very foolish), and his mother finished cooking the meal, she gave it to Jacob, who snuck over to his father’s room to begin the deception.

Isaac Deceived

When Jacob came in, Isaac was immediately suspicious. His common sense told him that this was way too quick for Esau to have gone on a hunt and made dinner for him. So he asked his son how he returned so quickly. Jacob (pretending to be Esau) said that God had blessed him and given him success in his hunt. In other words, Jacob not only lied to his father, he invoked God as an accomplice in his lie!

This seemed, for a moment, to appease Isaac, but he still was suspicious. When Jacob came closer to give him the food, he felt his arms. As he felt the hairy arms, he began to believe the ruse. His response was that it sounded like Jacob, but it felt like Esau. So he ate and enjoyed his meal. I can’t help but wonder if Isaac thought this tasted more like Rebekah’s cooking than Esau’s, but the text doesn’t tell us. When Isaac finished his meal, he had one more test before deciding to give his blessing. He asked his son to come in close and give him a kiss. Jacob complied, and as he did, Isaac caught the smell of Esau’s clothes, and was finally convinced that the man before him was Esau and not Jacob. In a sense, you could say Jacob betrayed his father with a kiss (just as Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss.)

Once Isaac was convinced, he moved forward with the blessing he intended to give to Esau.

28“From the dew of heaven and the richness of the earth, may God always give you abundant harvests of grain and bountiful new wine. 29May many nations become your servants, and may they bow down to you. May you be the master over your brothers, and may your mother’s sons bow down to you. All who curse you will be cursed, and all who bless you will be blessed.” (Genesis 27:28-29, NLT)

Isaac’s blessing included a blessing of wealth, a blessing of power over the surrounding nations, and most importantly, supremacy over his siblings. Isaac’s intention was to make Esau the ruler over Jacob…even though that’s the opposite of what God said would happen. Ironically, while trying to circumvent God’s plan’s, Isaac ended up fulfilling them!

After all this took place, Jacob left in a hurry (surely excited to get out of his costume), and as Jacob was leaving, Esau was returning from his hunt. A short time later, Esau went in to his father, and everyone discovered what had happened. Isaac realized he had been deceived, and Esau realized he had once again lost out to his brother. Both Isaac and Esau trembled with anger, though Isaac seemed to realize his attempt to circumvent God’s plan had failed. He told Esau that his blessing would indeed stand.

The Aftermath

After everything was revealed, Esau was understandably angry. He decided that once Isaac died and the requisite period of mourning had passed, he would go and kill Jacob, ensuring that he would indeed receive all the blessings he believed he was owed.

Rebekah found out about this (she was very well-informed) and hatched another plan. This time she told Jacob he would need to leave for a while until Esau calmed down. She had a plan to get Isaac to send Jacob away.

It is interesting that Rebekah still resorted to deceit, rather than being straightforward with her husband. If she had told him what was going on, Isaac may have consented to her plan, but that wasn’t what she did. Instead, she came to him with a problem and asked him to solve it.

She told Isaac she hated the Canaanite women of the area, and would die if her son married one of them. Isaac solved the problem exactly the way she wanted him to. She got her way, but made him think it was his idea! Isaac sent Jacob away to Rebekah’s uncle Laban, where he could find a wife. Rebekah’s plan worked…but it really didn’t do what she intended. This shouldn’t surprise us, because sin and deceit always have consequences.

Rebekah did all this because she was afraid of losing her sons, but Jacob ended up leaving, not to return for 20 years. It is likely that she never saw Jacob again. And she essentially wrecked her relationship with Esau. Esau knew she had tried to sabotage his life. Esau also knew she hated Canaanite women…and he had two Canaanite wives! She ended up losing both of her sons, despite her best efforts to manipulate the situation. It’s always a bad idea to try to do things in our own strength rather than trusting in the Lord’s power and timing.

Everyone in this story has culpability. Isaac rebelled against God in hopes of bringing his own will to pass. Rebekah used trickery to try to assert her own will. Esau had previously shown disregard for his position in the family by selling his birthright to Jacob. And Jacob went along with a plot he knew was wrong because he thought it would benefit him (or because he was scared of what his mom would do if he didn’t.) This was one dysfunctional family.

Applications

But not all is lost in this story. We find out later that God used this debacle to bless Jacob as He had promised to do, but He also used it to teach Jacob what kind of man he should be. The man who got ahead by deception spent the next 20 years being deceived himself. And in the process, God taught Jacob what it meant to truly trust Him. God is able to bring good things even out of a dysfunctional mess.

There are a couple of important applications we should see from this account. First, the remedy to dysfunctional relationships is submission to God. The issue in every one of the broken relationships in this story was that each person was only concerned about themselves. They were more concerned about getting what they thought they deserved than about obeying the Lord and trusting Him to do what they couldn’t.

If you’re honest with yourself, you know this is true in the dysfunctional relationships in your own life. Maybe you feel you have dysfunction in your marriage, work, friendships, family, or somewhere else. The issue, more often than not, is our own selfishness. We have a tendency to look at other people and see all the ways they aren’t doing what we think they should. Of course, we don’t see our own failures in the same light. We focus on their failures and conclude they have left us no choice but to pull away, to be short with them, to lash out in anger, or to shut them out completely. In our minds, they are getting what they deserve—and we are doing what’s right.

Doesn’t that sound like the logic Rebekah used? She believed she had no choice but to act like she did. Friends, we always have a choice! We cannot control what other people do, but we can control our own actions. If we are honest, we can see that we bear some responsibility for the dysfunctional relationships in our lives. And almost always, it is a result of our own selfishness and our unwillingness to trust God to act rightly. We seek revenge rather than trusting God to handle things. We hold grudges rather than forgiving. We lash out when someone hurts us rather than recognizing that they are probably acting from a place of hurt as well. We are harsh when we should be gentle and mean when we should be kind. The reason is because we don’t see beyond ourselves. We don’t see the struggles of the people around us, we only see how their struggles affect us. Every person in this story acted this way—they were so focused on themselves that they were unwilling to consider that they may be acting sinfully. More often than not, we fall into the same trap.

So, what is the remedy? It is to take time each day to put our selfish attitudes to death. We must ask the Lord to help us see our own failures and shortcomings, and to deal patiently with those we feel are treating us unfairly. When we struggle to do that, we should ask for God’s help, and remember that God’s plan won’t be helped by our sinful behavior. We should trust Him enough to love and be kind to the people around us, even when they don’t return the favor.

Second, God can redeem even the most flawed people. We tend to write people off. We give up on people and turn our backs on them. But the Bible reminds us that no one is too far gone for God to change their heart.

Jacob was a liar. It’s what he did. He was always playing an angle and finding a way to make things go in his favor. But God worked in his heart and changed him. It didn’t happen overnight, and it wasn’t easy, but God turned Jacob into the father of the nation of Israel, just as He intended.

This is the good news we see in the Bible: God can use even flawed people like you and me for His kingdom—we just have to follow Him rather than going our own way. If you feel like you’ve made a mess of things and that God cannot use you, you haven’t! Rather than throwing up your hands in despair and concluding that all is lost, turn to Him in faith. Follow Him and believe that He will not turn you aside, and in fact, He can use you in ways you never thought possible. God loves to redeem those who have fallen—they must simply admit their sin, turn to Him, and follow.

Conclusion

This story is filled with twists and turns and deception and plot twists. That’s how life goes when we rebel against the Lord. It makes for an interesting story, but it’s stressful and painful. As we look at this story of Isaac’s family it should remind us that it’s always better to do things God’s way, and it’s never too late to start. God loves to redeem people from their past failures and make something beautiful from their lives. But it starts with us being willing to trust Him—to put to death our selfish desires, to stop trying to control things (because we can’t anyway), and to simply live in obedience to Him. If we will do that, we’ll find that His way really is better.