Friendship
Notes
Transcript
A Good Friend
A Good Friend
Jackie Robinson was the first African-American to play major league baseball. Despite breaking the “color barrier” in baseball, he faced ridicule from fans everywhere he went. Once while playing in his home stadium in Brooklyn, he committed an error and stood humiliated on second base. The shortstop, “Pee Wee” Reese, came over and stood next to him with his arm around Robinson. The fans grew quiet. Later, Robinson stated that that arm around his shoulder saved his career.
We all says, “I wish I had a friend like that.” But maybe we should say, “I want to BE a friend like that!” But how do we become a good friend? And not only a good friend but a godly friend?
Turn your Bible’s to Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. Using this passage I want to examine four practical principles that can help us to be good, godly friends.
1. Friends want Friends to Succeed
1. Friends want Friends to Succeed
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.
In verses 4-8, the Preacher shows the need for someone with whom to share the good things of life. This is what prompts the discussion of friendship in the first place. Look here with me:
Then I saw that all toil and all skill in work come from a man’s envy of his neighbor. This also is vanity and a striving after wind.
The fool folds his hands and eats his own flesh.
Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and a striving after wind.
Again, I saw vanity under the sun: one person who has no other, either son or brother, yet there is no end to all his toil, and his eyes are never satisfied with riches, so that he never asks, “For whom am I toiling and depriving myself of pleasure?” This also is vanity and an unhappy business.
He immediately sets out the principle that friendship is needed, and having friends is better for many reasons. One of which is the good reward that comes from the larger profit of two working better than one. We love when our friends support us, help us, dream with us, and want us to succeed. But are we the type of friend who wants more for our friends?
Sometimes we have selfish ambitions when it comes to relationships. We are absorbed with our own personal success, but in order to be good friend you must be absorbed with the success of others. If we truly want to help our friends succeed in life we will do three things for them:
Pray for their success - Prayer is powerful and above all else it is the most we could do for anyone.
Encourage them - A little bit of encouragement can bring about great motivation. Never stop being a Barnabas, an encourager to all.
Praise them - When we dig for dirt we will only find dirt. However, when we seek to uncover the diamond beneath the rough we might just find something praiseworthy. Let’s start praising God’s masterpieces (Ephesians 2:10) instead of pushing our friends away. And don’t be silent. Be vocal about your love and support of your friends. You might be surprised how many around you need it just as bad as you do, and you might be surprised how much you’ll likely receive it when you give it away.
2. Friends Support Each Other in Times of Need
2. Friends Support Each Other in Times of Need
For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!
This point piggybacks off of the first. If you desire success for your friend you will surely develop a habit of supporting them especially in times of need. We need to be the type of friends who support first and for two reasons:
You will eventually fall and need help - We all love to have friends during the good times. Actually, when we think about friendship we usually think only about the good times. But there are bad times in life. There are tough spots we go through. And true friends will be there for us during the good and the bad. My best friends are not the ones who just laugh with me - no, my best friends are the ones who have cried with me!
You are the example first - Christians are a light to this world and we ought to be the best friends available. We are the example first. We should never have the mentality that we will only help those who help us or we will only help after we have been helped. Instead, we need to be the first ones to show up and help, support, serve, and sacrifice.
3. Friends Comfort Each Other During Tough Times
3. Friends Comfort Each Other During Tough Times
Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?
Some scholars think this refers to the relationship between a husband and wife, but this is not the case. Actually, it is an image derived from that of travelers who must lie beside each other to stay warm on cold desert nights. Ultimately, this is a powerful metaphor for being an emotional comfort against the coldness of the world.
We all face a lot of “cold times” in life:
Health problems
Relationship issues
Financial difficulties
You name it!
It is during these difficult times where we find our truest friends. We need to be a friend who comforts our friends during these tough times. I want to read an excerpt from Chuck Swindoll’s book on Leadership. Now, I understand his doctrinal beliefs are different than that taught in Scripture, but I want us to consider these thoughts and adapt them to the Lord’s church:
An old Marine Corp buddy of mine, to my pleasant surprise, came to know Christ after he was discharged. I say surprise because he cursed loudly, fought hard, chased women, drank heavily, loved war and weapons, and hated chapel services.
A number of months ago, I ran into this fellow, and after we’d talked awhile, he put his hand on my shoulder and said, ‘You know, Chuck, the only thing I still miss is that old fellowship I used to have with all the guys down at the tavern. I remember how we used to sit around and let our hair down. I can’t find anything like that for Christians. I no longer have a place to admit my faults and talk about my battles - - where somebody won’t preach at me and frown and quote me a verse.’
It wasn’t one month later that in my reading I came across this profound paragraph: ‘The neighborhood bar is possibly the best counterfeit that there is to the fellowship Christ wants to give his church. It’s an imitation, dispensing liquor instead of grace, escape rather than reality - - but it is a permissive, accepting, and inclusive fellowship. It is unshockable. It is democratic. You can tell people secrets, and they usually don’t tell others or even want to. The bar flourishes not because most people are alcoholics, but because God has put into the human heart the desire to know and be known, to love and be loved, and so many seek a counterfeit at the price of a few beers. With all my heart I believe that Christ wants his church to be unshockable, a fellowship where people can come in and say, ‘I’m sunk, I’m beat, I’ve had it.’ Alcoholics Anonymous has this quality - - our churches too often miss it.
Now before you take up arms to shoot some wag that would compare your church to the corner bar, stop and ask yourself some tough questions, like I had to do. Make a list of some possible embarrassing situations people may not know how to handle.
A woman discovers her husband is a practicing homosexual. Where in the church can she find help where she’s secure with her secret?
Your mate talks about separation or divorce. To whom do you tell it?
Your daughter is pregnant and she’s run away - - for the third time. She’s no longer listening to you. Who do you tell that to?
You lost your job, and it was your fault. You blew it, so there’s shame mixed with unemployment. Who do you tell that to?
Financially, you were unwise, and you’re in deep trouble. Or a man’s wife is an alcoholic. Or something as horrible as getting back the biopsy from the surgeon, and it reveals cancer, and the prognosis isn’t good. or you had the emotional breakdown. To whom do you tell it?
We’re the only outfit I know that shoots its wounded. We can become the most severe, condemning, judgmental, guilt-giving people on the face of the planet Earth, and we claim it’s in the name of Jesus Christ. And all the while, we don’t even know we’re doing it. That’s the pathetic part of it all.”
The truth is we may behave as the most unfriendly and superficial people at times. Let’s not give a thought to becoming the definition of fake. Instead, let’s rise up and be the help for those in need, the comfort for those who hurt, and the peace for those in the storms. Let’s be the most friendly, real, and raw people especially if we wear the name of Christ on our hearts!
4. Friends Protect Friends in Strength
4. Friends Protect Friends in Strength
And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
The strength that is found in this proverb is the friendship itself. It not only means there is strength in numbers, but also that there is strength in companionship itself. When it comes to our friendships make sure that we are willing to go to bat for them and have their back. Protect your friends. Stand up for them. Be a friend who friends would like to have.
A Friend Like No Other
A Friend Like No Other
There are many practical principles in the Scriptures that teach what it means to be a good and godly friend. Ultimately, we have the greatest example of a friend in Jesus. He is a friend like no other. Jesus says,
Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
And this is exactly what Jesus did for us! He laid down his life, paying the price for our sins, and giving us redemption found only through His blood! He initiated the friendship and we benefit from it. Now, we have a choice. We can put on Christ in baptism, be led by the Spirit, and produce the types of fruits (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control) that epitomize what it means to be a good and godly friend. What type of friend will you be? Will you be a friend like Jesus?