What Do We Do Now?
INTRO:
emails I received once upon a time – the names have been changed so as not to embarrass anyone – no, they don’t go to our church, although it could happen to any of us!!!
#1. Pastor Fred, I have a situation I need Bibilical info. My youngest brother, age 43, has been married twice. The first was to a woman that left him for another man. The 2nd he ask her to leave. I am not sure why except that he had been talking-internet to another woman in CA after his wife went to sleep at night. He said the 2nd was not seeing another man. he had the 3rd woman visit him at his house and stay the week, 2 weeks after he moved the 2nd wife out. We only recently learned of this. he and the 3rd woman have been talking non-stop by way of internet and cell phone for months. he had 2nd wife to sign divorce papers immediately after they separated- this was in May '08. By way the papers were written and signed, he will be "free" to remarry by man's law the last of October'08. I learned last weekend that he is engaged-she bought the rings and he said he will pay her back. She has no job and has served time in NJ for what is known in NC as Kidnapping. Of couse, she has explained this and "what really happened". Now comes the question. According to Matt 18:15,etc. I completely understand what is to be done in the church by our pastor. However, as a family were need guidance in this situation since we know what he is doing is against God's laws. We have said what we know to say. he walked off from me when I attempted to discuss his safety and the entire situation and said that he would not talk to me about it. Well now I find out this weekend that she is on his way here and will arrive Wed. We love him with all our hearts and need your help to tell us Biblically what we are to do and if we continue to talk to him, turn him out into the world as we do in the church or do we even talk to him at all?
#2. I appreciate so much that you care enough about Sam to want to do what is right. And, more so that you serve the Lord so that you want to make sure you are doing the right thing by Him. I have prayed and prayed on this, and I have read the Bible, I have talked with many Christians about this, and have more importantly, talked to God about this. I believe with all that I am that God does not want me to put Sam out of my life. I will NOT condone what he is doing, he knows exactly where I stand biblically and morally on all of this. But, I can’t turn him away. I don’t know this woman, but, I do believe everyone deserves a 2nd chance. I’m sure glad the Lord gave me one. I don’t have peace about this woman, but, I also have no idea what God may have planned here. I gave all of this to God, I laid it at the foot of the cross. I can’t be responsible for Sam. Only Sam will have to answer for his sin. I have enough of my own things to answer for. I am finding that all the stress I have let myself have over this is causing me to feel sick again. I can’t do this. I have to let Sam handle this one on his own. I believe that God has this all in control, and that He may be letting Sam walk a distance from Him. He has a plan here, for Sam, maybe for me or any of us too. I believe that you should do whatever the Holy Spirit guides you to do in this situation. But, I feel at peace with the decision that I have made. I will continue to pray for Sam, and ask Gods will in all of this. I will keep a distance, but at the same time, stay close enough to keep an eye on this situation. You asked if there was anything that I think you should have added to this. I believe that Pastor Daniels should be a little more informed of how Sam’s 2nd marriage ended. I think he needs to know that for a year, Sam and I have watched our Mom slowly, horribly die. That Wanda was being neglectful of Sam, that she was being mean, cursing us, screaming, etc….not just at Sam, but at me and the Church, that was the final straw for Sam. There were things over the past few years that not a lot of people knew about. That Wanda verbally and almost physically attacked mom several times. She resented every minute that Sam spent here helping take care of her. she wasn’t a very good person to any of us through this. Also, Fred would need to know what type man Wanda was, lazy, not willing to work and help support her family, a habitual liar, who made up lies just to be telling them, she made the male members of our family very uncomfortable, and acted, spoke and even touched some of them suggestively. I think too that it was a month after they separated before Sam had Cindy come down for his visit (not that the amount of time mattered, he shouldn’t have had her here at all). I only wrote all of this so Fred could get a bigger picture of this whole situation. I hope that you can accept my position on this. Know that I always appreciate and welcome your advice. You’ve been a Christian much longer than me, I still have a lot to learn. I know if I am not handling this the way God would have me to, that He will show me, I will feel it. He has shown me so much, so many times. What I don’t want to happen is for Sam’s life to affect all of ours. I want me, you, and all of our family to all stay a close, loving family. We just have to pray for Sam, and make sure we don’t let this intrude on all of our lives. We know that old Satan looks for any little crack to sneak in through, and we have to be careful not to let him use this situation with Sam to get at all of us. I love you. I appreciate you, I thank God for you. Thank you for standing proud and tall for the Lord and for His word.
WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
Galatians 5:24-6:2
24 And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. 26 Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another. 1 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. 2 Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.
I. The Spiritual Person - Gal. 5:24
A. He is Christ’s - implies His Lordship over them
B. He has crucified the flesh - implies salvation has taken place
1. Its affections
2. Its lusts
C. He walks in the Spirit - implies obedience - Gal. 5:25
1. Not desiring glory
2. Not provoking others
3. Not envying others
D. He is spiritual - implies a new life - Gal. 6:1
II. The Fleshly Person
A. He is not acting like Christ’s
B. He has not crucified the flesh
1. Its affections
2. Its lusts
C. He does not walk in the Spirit
1. Wants glory
2. Provokes others
3. Envies others
D. He is unspiritual
1. Doesn’t care about being fallen
2. Doesn’t care about burdening others
3. Doesn’t care about the law of Christ
E. He will be overtaken - snared
2 Timothy 2:26
26 And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.
III. The Spiritual Person’s Duty to Help the Trapped Fleshly Person
A. YOU walk in the Spirit
B. YOU restore the fallen - “set the broken bones”
1. Basic first aid -
Hebrews 12:12-13
12 Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees; 13 And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.
Matthew 18:15-20
15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. 16 But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. 17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. 18 Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
2 Corinthians 2:7
7 So that contrariwise ye ought rather to forgive him, and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow.
2 Thessalonians 3:15
15 Yet count him not as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.
C. YOU bear his burden - “extra heavy load”
Romans 15:1
1 We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves.
1 Thessalonians 5:14
14 Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men.
D. YOU fulfill the law of Christ
2 Timothy 2:24-26
24 And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, 25 In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth; 26 And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.
Galatians 5:14
14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
John 13:34
34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
Romans 13:8-10
8 Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law. 9 For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 10 Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.