Scripture gives numerous reasons for marriage. First, marriage is for procreation. God commanded Adam and Eve to “be fruitful and multiply” (Gen. 1:28). God intends for mankind to reproduce itself. Marriage is also for pleasure. Proverbs speaks of a man’s being “exhilarated always” with the wife of his youth (5:18–19), and the Song of Solomon centers around the physical attractions and pleasures of marital love. Marriage is a partnership. Woman was created for man to be “a helper suitable for him” (Gen. 2:18). Friendship between husband and wife is one of the key ingredients of a good marriage. Marriage is a picture of the church. Husbands are to have authority over and to love their wives as Christ has authority over and loves the church (Eph. 5:23–32). And marriage is for purity. It protects from sexual immorality by meeting the need for physical fulfillment.

Under Roman law and customs of that day, four types of marriage were practiced. Slaves generally were considered to be subhuman chattel. If a man and woman slave wanted to be married, they might be allowed to live together in what was called a contubernium, which means “tent companionship.” The arrangement lasted only as long as the owner permitted. He was perfectly free to separate them, to arrange for other partners, or to sell one or the other. Many of the early Christians were slaves, and some of them had lived—perhaps were still living—in this sort of marital relationship.

A second type of marriage was called usus, a form of common law marriage that recognized a couple to be husband and wife after they had lived together for a year. A third type was the coemptio in manum, in which a father would sell his daughter to a prospective husband.

The fourth type of marriage was much more elevated. The Patrician class, the nobility, were married in a service called the confarreatio, on which the modern Christian marriage ceremony is based. It was adopted by the Roman Catholic church and used with certain Christian modifications—coming, with little change, into Protestantism through the Reformation. The original ceremony involved participation by both families in the arrangements for the wedding, a matron to accompany the bride and a man to accompany the groom, exchanging of vows, the wearing of a veil by the bride, the giving of a ring (placed on the third finger of the left hand), a bridal bouquet, and a wedding cake.

In the Roman empire of Paul’s day divorce was common, even among those married under the confarreatio. It was not impossible for men and women to have been married 20 times or more. An active and vocal feminist movement had also developed. Some wives competed with their husbands in business and even in feats of physical strength. Many were not interested in being housewives and mothers, and by the end of the first century childless marriages were common. Both men and women were determined to live their own lives, regardless of marriage vows or commitments.

The early church had members that had lived together, and were still living together, under all four marriage arrangements. It also had those who had had multiple marriages and divorces. Not only that, but some believers had gotten the notion that being single and celibate was more spiritual than being married, and they disparaged marriage entirely.

His word to them is that it is good for them who are now free of marriage to remain even as I. By that statement Paul affirms that he was formerly married. Because marriage seems to have been required for membership in the Sanhedrin, to which Paul may once have belonged, because he had been so devoutly committed to Pharisaic tradition (Gal. 1:14), and because he refers to one who could have been his wife’s mother (Rom. 16:13), we may assume that he was once married.

Quoting Genesis 2:24, Jesus said, “For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh,” and then added, “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate” (Matt. 19:5–6). In answer to the disciples’ question, Jesus explained that God allowed Moses to permit divorce only because of His peoples’ “hardness of heart” (vv. 7–8), and that it was permissible only in the case of adultery (Matt. 5:31–32). “I hate divorce,” God declared through Malachi (Mal. 2:16)

Jesus had not taught directly about that problem, and so Paul says, to the rest say I, not the Lord. That is not a denial of inspiration or an indication that Paul is only giving his own human opinion. It is only to say that God had not given any previous revelation on the subject, but Paul was now setting it forth.

In light of Paul’s teaching that their bodies were members of Christ and were temples of the Holy Spirit (6:15–20), the Corinthian Christians were justifiably concerned about whether or not to maintain marital union with an unbeliever. Some may have thought that such a union joined Christ to Satan, defiling the believer and the children and dishonoring the Lord. The desire for a Christian partner would be very strong.

Christians married to unbelievers were not to worry that they themselves, their marriage, or their children would be defiled by the unbelieving spouse. On the contrary, the very opposite was the case. Both the children and the unbelieving spouse would be sanctified through the believing wife or husband.

If the unbelieving husband or wife cannot tolerate the spouse’s faith and desires to be free from the union, it is better that the marriage be dissolved in order to preserve the peace of His child. Fighting, turmoil, bickering, criticism, and frustration disrupt the harmony and peace that God wants His children to have. Again, it is a concession.

Evangelism is not cause enough to maintain a marriage, especially if the unbelieving partner wants to leave. The believer should let God follow that spouse’s soul with the message of salvation, and use whomever He will to take up the call to faith.