Singleness and Marriage for the Glory of God
Messy Church - 1 Corinthians • Sermon • Submitted
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· 5 viewsWhether you are single or married, you belong to God so live for his glory.
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If you have your Bibles tonight, please open them to 1 Corinthians 7.
For those who are new, we have been going through a series that we are calling ‘Messy Church.’ You see, the church is full of sinners, and when sin runs rampant in the church, things can get messy really quick. This is demonstrated most clearly by the Corinthian church that we read about in the New Testament.
1 Corinthians, this letter that we are going through, is split into five major sections. In each section, Paul addressed one sin after another that was taking place in the church.
In the first section, Paul addressed the divisions that were happening in the church because of the Corinthian’s pride in certain preachers.
Tonight, as we will be finishing the second section in this letter where Paul addressed the sexual immorality that had gone on among the Corinthian church.
Let’s hear from God’s word to see how Paul sums up this section of his letter.
29 This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, 30 and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, 31 and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.
32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
Let’s pray.
When I was in middle school, social media started getting really popular. But we didn’t have Facebook or Instagram yet… what was really popular at the time was MySpace…
And you could do a lot of things on MySpace…
you could pick your top friends
You could customize the background and theme of your home page
you could even choose a song that would play if anyone went onto your facebook page
But there was another part of MySpace that really mattered, and that was your relationship status…
So if you weren’t dating, you could show that you were single
if you were dating, you could show that you were in a relationship…
if you were married… you could put that you were married…
You get the point…
But there was another status that you could put down that said: It’s complicated…
What this status meant was, your relationship was difficult to define… it could mean that maybe you weren’t dating yet, but there was an interest in someone… or maybe it meant you broke up and weren’t interested in dating anyone… that phrase ‘it’s complicated’ cold mean all sorts of things.
Now here’s the deal… relationships, especially romantic ones, are always complicated…
In fact, the subject of singleness and marriage is so complicated that Paul devoted a huge portion of his letter to the Corinthians to give instruction and advice for how to navigate the complications that come with all sorts of relationships.
In the chapter that we are looking at, Paul deals with singleness and the longing for marriage for those who are betrothed/or engaged to be married. He addressed marriage, be it marriage between two Christians, or the difficulties of marriage between a Christian and a non-believer. Paul even he addressed those who were once married, and have either been divorced or widowed… All of these subject are dealt with in this single chapter.
All that to say, one easy way to summarize this chapter is to say…
relationships are complicated
Seriously, we could spend weeks just looking at this chapter to get a better understanding of singleness, marriage, divorce, and remarriage… but we are just going to take one week in this chapter
But there is better way to summarize this chapter than just to say relationships are complicated. Tonight I want us to learn this:
Whether you are single or married, you belong to God so live for his glory.
Let me repeat it again…
Whether you are single or married, you belong to God so live for his glory.
Let’s get into the Scripture to see what Paul says because we have a lot of ground to cover.
1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”
Here, Paul is referring to a teaching that was going on among the Corinthians. While last week in Chapter 6, Paul corrected and opposed the sinful idea that sex was always acceptable, this week Paul shifts his focus to another misunderstanding. There were some who were saying that it was good not to have sex. And while Paul agreed with this statement in part, simply not having sex wasn’t a blanket statement that could be made about everyone… Paul clarified in v 2…
2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
Paul said that, because of temptations to sexual immorality, sex within the confines of marriage can be a good thing. But sex is only good within the confines of marriage. And furthermore such a relationships are only good and right between one man and one woman. That’s what he means when a man is to have HIS OWN wife. and the woman, HER OWN husband.
Pauls is saying, while not having sex can be good, sex can also be good so long as it is done by those who are married.
So understand that sex within the confines of marriage is good! but as we are going to see marriage isn’t the cure all to sins and temptations… listen to Paul at the very end of this chapter:
38 So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.
39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God.
While marriage is good, Paul says singleness is even better!
Those who have passions and desires to get married should do so and it is good and right to get married. But while it is not a sin to get married, there are pitfalls and temptations even in marriage that we must be aware of.... Here is what I want us to see:
1. While both singleness and marriage are good, but both of them have their own troubles.
1. While both singleness and marriage are good, but both of them have their own troubles.
Again, while both are good… singleness and marriage can be complicated… and Paul walks us through the dangers and temptations that come with both singleness and marriage, so I want us to consider each of them tonight
First let us consider the dangers of singleness:
And this is the danger of singleness that you all need to be aware of:
A. Danger of singleness: Sex outside of marriage is a sin.
A. Danger of singleness: Sex outside of marriage is a sin.
We already saw Paul mention this, but listen again to how Paul put it…
1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
Paul says that because there are temptations to sexual immorality person to get married. So guys, if you have desires for a girl, get married… and girls if you have desires for a boy, you ought to get married…
He says it again later in the chapter:
36 If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin.
Paul is saying, if there is a man, who is engaged to be married, and if he has passions, that is sexual desire, for his betrothed, then they should get married!
The reason for this is because sex within the confines of marriage is good! It is a gift that God has given to husbands and wives to be enjoyed. But to be clear, sex outside of marriage is a sin. So if there are passions for a person who you are not married to, do not act on them.
But for those who are married, sex is good and can be enjoyed. Listen again to how Paul puts it:
3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
And the temptation that Paul speaks of here, is any kind lust for another person that is not your spouse.
So often, we make sex out to be a dirty thing, but it is a good thing when it is enjoyed in marriage. But make no mistake… sex, or any kind of sexual activity, yes even looking at a person in lust is a sin.
Every one of you students are not married… so do not awaken passions. Do not look at images that elicit lust. You should not do anything with your boyfriend or girlfriend that will produce any forbidden passion outside of marriage.
Such passions are reserved only for marriage, and they are to be enjoyed only between a husband and a wife… but so often those who are single idolize romance and marriage. As if that is their one need in all of life, as if finding a soul mate… and if you can find that special person, then all of life’s problems go away… but that’s not the way Paul describes marriage. In fact, Paul says quite the opposite about marriage… listen to how he puts it:
8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Paul’s desire is that those who are single, would remain as they are… but he doesn’t want them to stay single if it leads them to have lustful passions that will lead to sexual immorality…
10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
For those who think marriage is perfect and easy, Paul shows us here that it isn’t… there are those who wish to separate from their spouses when things get difficult. And from the context, Paul is speaking to Christians who are married to one another. But marriage can get even harder than what is described here… Paul goes on to give instruction for Christians who are married to non-believers.
Paul says
12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
While there is so much here that can be discussed, the main point I want us to see is that those who are married to non believers are to remain married despite the difficulties that they might experience in that marriage. But if a non believer leaves the marriage, the Christian is not obligated to try to keep that marriage intact.
But make no mistake, this text does not give permission for Christians to marry non believers.... Put a pin in this text we will return to in in a moment… for now look at the end of the chapter.
Paul says:
39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
That last phrase ‘only in the Lord’ means that those who decide to marry are to only marry only those who are in Christ… Remember, relationships get complicated… and if you want to add to the complication, try marrying a nonbeliever. But in all seriousness don’t marry someone who isn’t a Christian, because if you do, know that you are disobeying the Scriptures.
But back to where we were a moment ago. Paul’s point in v 10-16 wasn’t to about Christians to marry Christians… rather he is hi-lighting the difficulties that come with marriage… and these difficulties often cause some to separate from one another and divorce.
Listen to him again:
12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her.
Jesus himself told said that what God has joined together, let not man separate… his point… divorce is a sin! So do not separate what God has joined together… even when marriage gets difficult… even when one spouse sins against the other… marriage is permanent until death. The only exception in Scripture for divorce is when there is sexual immorality. But all the same we ought to take divorce seriously.
B. Dangers of marriage: Divorce is a sin.
B. Dangers of marriage: Divorce is a sin.
Listen, even though movies and shows often make marriage out to be some kind of perfect utopia, know that marriage can be hard. But even when it things get difficult in marriage, we shouldn’t use it as an excuse to separate what God has joined together in marriage.
Divorce is a sin.
But difficulties in marriage that lead to divorce are not the only dangers in marriage…
One of the other dangers in marriage is when things are going really well… when you are perfectly in love… when you are obsessed with your spouse so much so that you live your life for them above all else… listen to how Paul puts it.
28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that. 29 This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, 30 and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, 31 and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.
32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
Again there is a lot here, but to summarize it all look at these four verses again:
29 This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none,
What he isn’t saying is that husbands are to neglect their wives or divorce them, that would completely contradict what we covered just a moment ago… What he is saying is that the time is very short… meaning, this life is going by quickly. It might not feel like it to most of us on most days, but we will all die. And when we are dead, our marriages will be over. So don’t make life about your spouse…
Paul continues:
32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife,
Marriage often distracts us from serving the Lord…
And so Paul concludes this section
35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
B. Dangers of marriage: Divided devotion to God is a sin.
B. Dangers of marriage: Divided devotion to God is a sin.
Do you see what I mean when I say relationships are complicated?
There are sins on every side of it of these relationship…
to have sexual passions outside of marriage is a sin… so be careful in this time of singleness that you all are living in.
But if you think marriage will solve all your problems know that there are more dangers even within marriage than within singleness…
In marriage, sin against one another might produce a cold love that leads to divorce and this is a sin,
but on the other hand, strong passions that lead to a greater love and devotion to a spouse than for the Lord is no different than any other form of idolatry.
This is why Paul says:
36 If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. 37 But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. 38 So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.
The point isn’t that either singleness or marriage are sins. Rather the point is that there are temptations in both singleness and in marriage. And whether we are single or married, we are to crucify our sinful passions and desires and serve the Lord!
And neither singleness nor marriage is a cure for sin…
If you think marriage is a cure all for sinful lust… it’s not
And if you think that divorce is a cure for a broken marriage… it’s not
And while the idolatry of marriage might help prevent divorce or help prevent lust… such idolatry is no less sin than all the rest.
but there is only one cure for our sin and that is Jesus Christ and his death on the cross in the place of our sin.
So how are we to deal with our sin, either in our singleness or in our marriage?
Paul sums it up in the verses that lie at the center of the chapter.
17 Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches. 18 Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was anyone at the time of his call uncircumcised? Let him not seek circumcision. 19 For neither circumcision counts for anything nor uncircumcision, but keeping the commandments of God. 20 Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called. 21 Were you a bondservant when called? Do not be concerned about it. (But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity.) 22 For he who was called in the Lord as a bondservant is a freedman of the Lord. Likewise he who was free when called is a bondservant of Christ. 23 You were bought with a price; do not become bondservants of men. 24 So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God.
Listen students, romantic relationships are complicated… and so is singleness
But whether you are single or married, you belong to the Lord…
so obey him, serve him, love him, and keep his commandments....
Because if you are single, you belong to Jesus Christ
and if you are married, you belong to Jesus Christ
Let’s pray.