LIVING BEYOND LONELINESS

HOW TO DEAL WITH HOW YOU FEEL • Sermon • Submitted 3 years ago

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Genesis 28:10-16 (ESV) 10 Jacob left Beersheba and went toward Haran. 11 And he came to a certain place and stayed there that night, because the sun had set. Taking one of the stones of the place, he put it under his head and lay down in that place to sleep. 12 And he dreamed, and behold, there was a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven. And behold, the angels of God were ascending and descending on it! 13 And behold, the LORD stood above it and said, “I am the LORD, the God of Abraham your father and the God of Isaac. The land on which you lie I will give to you and to your offspring. 14 Your offspring shall be like the dust of the earth, and you shall spread abroad to the west and to the east and to the north and to the south, and in you and your offspring shall all the families of the earth be blessed. 15 Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” 16 Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, “Surely the LORD is in this place, and I did not know it.”

Students of human behavior has observed that loneliness has always been among the most pressing plagues that attack the human condition. This has been especially true since the onslaught of the vicious virus covid-19, and the subsequent lockdowns and losses which happened because of it.

Each of us at one time or another has taken the trip to that solitary island of loneliness. Ida Holloway was right when she sagaciously suggested, “the pain of loneliness is universal.” It was noted novelist Thomas Wolf who wrote; “loneliness far from being a rare and curious phenomenon … is the central and inevitable fact of human existence.”

The subject of loneliness is a consistent theme in our literature, music and drama. The lyrics of loneliness in melancholy music flood our airways:

· None but the lonely heart

· Only the lonely

· All by myself

· Where do broken hearts go

· Unbreak my heart

· How do you mend a broken heart

· Luther’s Hearts are broken all the time, but this time the heart is mine

· Kem’s Are You lonely

Here is one, “you picked a fine time to leave me Lucille.” Oh y’all come on, you know Kenny Rogers was the man back in the day.

I think I ought to tell you that the pain of loneliness and the problem of forsakenness even impacts the lives of the children of God. It is possible to be surrounded by an ocean of people and still feel like you are on a deserted Island of loneliness.

We Christian people are not the least surprised that the blessed old book the bible addresses itself to this subject of loneliness. It was God Himself who diagnosed its destructiveness when He declared in the lush greenery of Eden’s garden; “it’s not good that man should be alone.”

In the text before us we come to the story of that duplicitous hustler named Jacob. Jacob, whose name means “heel catcher.” It carries the idea of being a supplanter, a trickster. That was Jacob all right. He is on the run because he tricked his old man, Isaac out of his brother’s Esau’s birthright.

Young Jacob is probably haunted by the feeling of being cut off, estranged, isolated and alone. This is most likely his first time away from the comfort and companionship of home. Now he is alone gripped by and grappling with a gnawing sense of loneliness.

The sun begins to set. The universe cloaks itself in the covers of darkness. There is something about the night that makes feeling lonely worse.

· The nocturnal noises of the night causes uneasiness

· Every rustling leaf conjures of images of potential danger

· Every call of the creatures of the night elicits apprehension

With a stone for his pillow Jacobs falls asleep. God speaks to Jacob in his dream. In doing so, we are given the powerful principles which helps us live beyond loneliness. As we unpack the passage to uncover the principles there are three truths threaded into the tapestry of the text. They form the substance of the sermon and offers the homiletical hinges on which this message swings. Notice, THE OPPRESSIVE CURSE, THE REPRESSIVE CAUSE and THE IMPRESSIVE CURE.

I. THE OPPRESSIVE CURSE OF LONELINESS

When I speak of loneliness, I do not mean being alone. It is possible to be alone and not feel lonely. In fact, sometimes it is good to get out from among the crowd, get out by yourself and spend some alone time with just you and God:

· Recharging your batteries

· Restoring your strength

· Renewing your convictions

· Replenishing your courage

· Rebuilding your faith

The truth is dealing with people can take a lot out of you. I think I ought to remind you that you don’t have to be a cannibal to get fed up with people.

All kinds of people have been confronted with the curse of loneliness:

· The rich and the poor

· The famous and the forgotten

· The powerful and the powerless

· The educated and the uneducated

· The young and the elderly

· Swinging singles in darkened clubs desperately wanting to make some kind of human connection

· The wife of 40 years who just stood by the graveside of her fallen husband

· The husband of 30 years who left a large chunk of himself at the graveside of his wife

· That young couple who are struggling to figure out how to turn their me into we.

You singles may not know this but even married people sometimes get lonely. Couples can become estranged from each other because of a lack of forgiveness or a failure to communicate.

I think I ought to tell you that you can’t tell by a person’s expression whether they are lonely or not. Smokey use to sing “If there’s a smile on my face, it’s only there to fool the public But when it comes down to fooling you Now honey, that's quite a different subject But don't let my glad expression Give you the wrong impression Really, I'm sad Oh, I'm sadder than sad You're gone and I'm hurtin' so bad” Smokey said he had the “tears of a clown” when there was no one around.

The reason the curse of loneliness is so dangerous is because if you get lonely enough if you are not careful you will make some stupid decision, some pitiful choices. Don’t allow your loneliness to cause you to hang with toxic people just so you don’t have to be by yourself. I think I heard somebody say, “I can do bad by myself.”

Each of us are emotionally and psychologically constituted with three basic needs that must be dealt with if we are to overcome loneliness.

A. A LONGING TO LOVE AND BE LOVED- I don’t care who you are everybody needs somebody to love and somebody to love them. I declare when there is no one who loves us and who we can love, loneliness will set it.

I have tried to stress to us from the moment we returned that it is critical that the North G family truly become a place of belonging on the road that leads home. No one wants to deal with the coldness and cruelty of the world, the hardness and harshness of society, the meanness and messiness of the world, and then come out here and find an:

· Uncaring

· Unkind

· Unsympathetic

· Unthoughtful

· Unmerciful

· Unloving Church

John 13:34-35 (ESV) 34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

B. AN URGENCY TO UNDERSTAND AND BE UNDERSTOOD- Everyone needs someone who understands them. We need someone who understands what we are going through, someone who understands our ambitions and our aspirations. Whenever we feel there is no one who understands, loneliness sets in. That must have been some of what Jacob was feeling out there trying to sleep with a rock for his pillow.

C. THE NEED TO BE NEEDED- Listen to me when I tell you everyone need some place they can go and know that they matter, they count, they are significant and important. Everyone needs to feel needed.

One of the challenges we face as the people of God here at North G is we have to fight the tendency to be territorial. Those of us who have been around awhile must make room for other people’s gifts. Those of us who are older must make room for younger people to find their place of service. We can’t afford to have any member of this congregation to feel unimportant, insignificant or that they are not needed. The next time you talk to a North G family member tell them I said that they are essential workers. We need them:

· To tell the lost about Jesus

· To encourage the fainthearted

· To lift up the downcast

· The intensity of their worship, the quality of their fellowship, productivity of their discipleship and the generosity of their stewardship

Yes, oh yes, hallelujah yes, every member of the North G family is an essential worker and we need you.

II. THE REGRESSIVE CAUSE OF LONELINESS

What are some of the things that causes us to be lonely? What is it that can take us against our wills to that isolated island of loneliness?

A. SEPARATION- Being separated from those we love can cause loneliness. Surely Jacob being forced to separate from his beloved mother Rebecca because of poor choices and bad decisions would be a source of his loneliness.

I think I am talking to some folks who know first hand the peculiar pain of loneliness that is the result of losing a love one. Even when some time has passed, you can be ambushed by grief because of a remembered ritual. I declare separation can cause loneliness

B. SELFISHNESS- It was Jacob’s selfish actions that put him in that place of loneliness. I declare being wrapped up, tied up and tangled up in yourself can lead to loneliness. That is a loneliness not because of isolation but because of insulation. Sometimes we are too selfish to let other people in who could encourage and help us. Edwin Markam wrote in piercing poetry; “He drew a circle that shut me out, heretic, rebel, a thing to flout, but love and I had the wit to win, we drew a circle that took him in.”

C. SIN- One giant reason for feeling lonely is sin. Jacob was in the predicament he was in because of his sin. He betrayed and double crossed his brother. He deceived his feeble father.

If we fail to deal with the sin in our lives our relationships will suffer, especially our relationship with God.

III. THE IMPRESSIVE CURE FOR LONELINESS

When Jacob fell off to sleep God showed him and us the cure for loneliness. Jacob had a special experience with God. Many of us have experienced how often God reveals Himself to us just when we needed Him most. I declare God will reveal Himself to you even has you face the impenetrable fog of loneliness. When you are in:

· Pain, God shows up with the prescription

· Struggling, He brings to you His strength

· Hardship, He brings to you help

In a dream Jacob saw a broad, high staircase (more likely than a ladder with rungs) reaching up to heaven. Many angels were on the staircase, some ascending and others descending at the same time. The word angel means “messenger,” so the fact they were both ascending and descending meant uninterrupted, continuous communication with God was available. They were first ascending, coming to God from Jacob. Thus, they had been with Jacob even though he did not know it. Then they were descending. God wanted to give His message to Jacob. Jacob had to flee from home, but he was not leaving the God of Abraham and Isaac behind. God was concerned over him and was still accessible. Jesus used this as an illustration of the fact that we have access to God through Him (John 1:51; cf. John 14:6; Acts 4:12). He is the one Mediator between God and humankind (1 Tim. 2:5), and through Him heaven is always standing open to us. The cure to loneliness is found in God’s presence. Child of God when loneliness strikes remind yourself if everyone else has forsaken you, God is present. Yes, oh yes, hallelujah yes, God is present to:

· Hear your cry

· Dry your tears

· Calm your fears

· Heal your hurts

· Answer your prayers

2 Timothy 4:16-17 (ESV) 16 At my first defense no one came to stand by me, but all deserted me. May it not be charged against them! 17 But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth.

It must have broke Paul’s heart to think that at the time he needed them most he had to face his great challenge without the aid and presence of friends. He would declare “only Luke”, all those he had helped down through the years, but only Luke is with him.

Paul told Timothy, "At my first answer no man stood with me, but all men forsook me: I pray God that it may not be laid to their charge." Thus, Paul tasted the bitterness that his beloved Lord had tasted when, abandoned by all, He had stood alone before Caiaphas, Pilate, and Herod.

Paul tells us is at his trial stood there alone. "No man stood with me," he wrote in 2 Timothy 4:16. "All men forsook me." The word translated "stood with" here is paraginomai, which was used to denote the function of a person who came into court to defend the accused.

Paul was not really abandoned and left to face the Roman wild beast alone. No sir, the apostle's soul was comforted by the presence of the Lord. "The Lord stood with me," he said.

I declare just like the Lord stood with Paul, when you face the trying times of loneliness, God will stand with you.

· When feeling forgotten and forsaken

· When the bright day of hope gives way to the long night of loneliness

· When you there is no one to understand, no one to even care about what you are going through

That’s it my brothers and sisters, there is nothing mystical or mysterious about it. The cure for loneliness is to know the presence of God.

Conclusion

A mom was concerned about her 2nd grade son walking to school. He didn't want her to walk with him, and she wanted to give him a feeling of independence. but she also wanted to know that he was safe. When she expressed her concern to her neighbor, Shirley offered to follow him to school every morning for a while, staying at a distance so he wouldn’t notice. Shirley said that since she was up early with her toddler anyways, it will be a good way for them to get some exercise. All week long, Shirley and her daughter followed Timmy as he walked to school with another neighborhood girl. As the two children walked and chatted, kicking stones and twigs, Timmy's friend said,'Have you noticed that lady following us to school all week? Do you know her? Timmy replied, 'Yes, I know who she is. That's my mom's friend Shirley Goodnest and her litle girl Marcy'. Shirley Goodnest? Why is she following us? Well, Timmy explained, every night my mom makes me say the 23rd Psalm, it says, 'Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all days of my life. I guess I'll just have to get used to it.

Let me tell you what I have gotten used to, I am used to God’s goodness and mercy following me. I AM USED TO GOD’S PRESENCE BECAUSE HE PROMISED TO NEVER LEAVE ME ALONE:

· ATTACKED BY ADVERSITIES

· CAMPED IN THE SWAMPS OF SORROW

· GRAPPLING WITH THE STRONG HEADWINDS OF GRIEF

· TESTING TIMES OF TROUBLE AND TRIALS

· HANDLING THE HEAVY LOAD OF HARDSHIP OR HEARTBREAK

I’ve seen the lightning flashing, I’ve heard the thunder roll. I’ve felt sin’s breakers dashing, which almost conquered my soul. I’ve heard the voice of my Savior, bidding me still to fight on. He promised never to leave me, never to leave me alone. No, never alone, no never alone, He promised never to leave me, never to leave me alone.

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