Which is Better? Singleness or Marriage
Notes
Transcript
Handout
We finished last week with the command to flee fornication.
18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
Why?
19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.
Remember, We are focusing on Christ
Corinth was a cesspool of immorality, one of the most immoral cities in the world of its day. All forms of sexual deviations ran rampant and were openly displayed. Loose living was the practice of spouse and neighbor, friend and stranger.
Practically everyone dressed to draw attention and to attract, and they peppered their conversation with insinuations to let each other know that they were available and desired.
A decent person could not walk down the street without being eyed and thought about by the tempter or temptress. Sex was the goddess of Corinth society. It permeated the government, commerce, recreation, and religion of the Corinthian. It abounded everywhere.
However, Paul writes to real people, to real Christians, in a real church.
How do we follow Christ when we live in a culture that is filled with sexual promiscuity?
1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
David Platt preached this message a couple of months ago. I am using parts of his message today because it is so needed that we understand this subject today in our society.
In determining which is better, Singleness or Marriage, I want us to ask and answer 3 questions.
Which is a Desirable Gift?
Which is a Desirable Gift?
Both Singleness and Marriage
1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
Singleness is a GIFT from God and it is GOOD.
because God does not give bad gifts.
Let’s take a trip through the Bible and look at Marriage and Singleness
27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
God created Man and Woman to Be FRUITFUL and MULTIPLY.
That is the command.
How were they to do that?
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Man and woman will come together as one flesh and they will have babies. They will multiply.
God later goes on to tell his infant covenant people as He is forming a nation,
God tells them He will BLESS them and MULTIPLY them.
So, What what is He promising?
5 And he brought him forth abroad, and said, Look now toward heaven, and tell the stars, if thou be able to number them: and he said unto him, So shall thy seed be.
So shall your seed - YOUR OFFSPRING.
MORE NUMEROUS THAN THE STARS.
What is God’s method of offspring?
From the very beginning Marriage and Offspring were essential to the BLESSINGS of God.
God tells the same thing to
Isaac - Genesis 26:3
Jacob - Genesis 28:14
As you go through Genesis you will find some of the most tense moments recorded were around BARRENNESS.
It was a curse to be BARREN.
Sarah was barren.
Rachael was initially barren.
Barrenness was a curse because your NAME would be virtually CUT OFF if you did not have kids.
16 The Angel which redeemed me from all evil, bless the lads; and let my name be named on them, and the name of my fathers Abraham and Isaac; and let them grow into a multitude in the midst of the earth.
6 And it shall be, that the firstborn which she beareth shall succeed in the name of his brother which is dead, that his name be not put out of Israel.
You did not want to be single in the Old Testament.
Singleness always appeared to be a curse.
Singleness would always include all the undesirables.
Widows - often would quickly remarry
Eunichs - who had their sexual ability physically taken away from them.
Diseases - leprosy, who were unapproachable by others.
Thats why young people would get married so young in the Old Testament because you did not want to be caught single.
This heightens how we view Isaiah, Jeremiah, Elisha, as prophets of God called to be single. That was undesirable in Biblical days because the people equated the BLESSINGS OF GOD with MARRIAGE AND CHILDREN.
Which made sense in light of the Old Covenant since people would primarily fulfill this through procreation, through having offspring, but if you were single, you could not do that, YOU WERE OUT.
BUT THEN, we find a promise of Jesus coming to die on the cross.
7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, Yet he opened not his mouth: He is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, And as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, So he openeth not his mouth.
8 He was taken from prison and from judgment: And who shall declare his generation? For he was cut off out of the land of the living: For the transgression of my people was he stricken.
Who shall declare, be a name for Jesus? He was cut off out of the land of the living - no physical offspring.
9 And he made his grave with the wicked, And with the rich in his death; Because he had done no violence, Neither was any deceit in his mouth.
10 Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: When thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, He shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, And the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.
He shall see his seed, HIS OFFSPRING,
Are you getting this?
Jesus, the promised seed from a woman,
15 And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.
in a supernatural way, would be cut off out of the land of the living. No physical descendants.
So He is single, but he has offspring.
How is that possible?
His offspring are those He died to SAVE.
This is the gospel message
Remember,
18 For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God. 19 For it is written, I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and will bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent.
Here is the GOSPEL.
God has sent Jesus to die on the cross for SINNERS, so that ANYONE who TRUSTS in Jesus can be FORGIVEN of All their SINS and BECOME a child of God.
You can do this today. If you do this today, then you are fulfilling this prophesy by the expanding of the family of Jesus not by PHYSICAL PROCREATION but by SPIRITUAL REGENERATION.
Not through people being BORN, but through people being BORN AGAIN through faith in Jesus.
Now, THIS TOTALLY CHANGES EVERYTHING.
The Gospel, the NEW COVENANT, of Jesus would radically transform the picture of God’s Blessings.
Look
1 Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear; Break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child: For more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the Lord.
The rest of this chapter goes on to explain the Lord God, your maker, is your husband and He gives new life through His spirit to all who trust in Him.
Many who will trust in Him as a result of hearing about Him through your life.
Then 2 more chapters over
3 Neither let the son of the stranger, that hath joined himself to the Lord, speak, saying, The Lord hath utterly separated me from his people: Neither let the eunuch say, Behold, I am a dry tree.
4 For thus saith the Lord unto the eunuchs that keep my sabbaths, And choose the things that please me, And take hold of my covenant;
5 Even unto them will I give in mine house and within my walls A place and a name better than of sons and of daughters: I will give them an everlasting name, that shall not be cut off.
Eunuchs, singles, LISTEN, YOU ARE NOT A DRY TREE. You will not be cut off.
Why? Because
God’s coming Kingdom is not dependent upon PHYSICAL OFFSPRING.
God’s Kingdom spreads through SPIRITUAL OFFSPRING.
Your name will be better than if you had sons and daughters.
All of this is promised in the Old Testament but it was not a part of Old Testament Culture, which is why people were shocked when Jesus came on the scene and started talking about marriage and started talking about singleness in a desirable way.
After discussing marriage and divorce,
10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
The people were confused, just like the Corinthians were confused in our text.
Jesus continues,
11 But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.
12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
Jesus says right here in these verses,
It is GOOD to be SINGLE for the SAKE of the KINGDOM OF HEAVEN.
And the Disciples were SHOCKED.
This is REVOLUTIONARY, in the Old Testament, God’s people multiplied almost exclusively through marriage and children.
Now in the New Testament, we are seeing a picture unfold of every nation, every tribe, and tongue, born, not of natural birth but of new life. Born again through the Spirit of God.
That new life and the spread of the new life can be a reality no matter whether you are single or married.
So now, with some contextual history and understanding, we come back to chapter 7 and we discover the Apostle Paul saying that SINGLENESS is a GOOD GIFT from God.
It includes hero’s of the New Testament most notably of Jesus, and then John the Baptist, Paul, Silas, Luke, Titus, Apollos, Lydia, Phoebe, Philip’s four unmarried daughters and we could go on and on and on.
Singleness is a Good Gift from God and Marriage is a Good Gift from God.
The problem in Corinth that Paul is addressing is people wanting to be what they were not.
Married people saying that “marriage is not all that I thought it would be”. “I would rather be single again”.
People who were single, saying, “I would rather be married”.
God is saying in His Word,
STOP!
TRUST MY GOODNESS IN YOUR LIFE.
That doesn’t mean that if you are single that it is wrong or sinful to desire a husband or wife, chapter 7, actually affirms that desire, while also saying that as long as you are SINGLE, TRUST GOD wherever He has you.
Singleness is not a state to be ENDURED while you WAIT for something BETTER.
PARENTS, we need to be very careful not to implicitly or explicitly suggest that MARRIAGE is BEST and SINGLENESS is SECOND BEST.
This is not true Biblically.
Our prayer should be that our kids will either, find or be led to a godly spouse, or thrive for Jesus in singleness.
YOUNG PEOPLE and SINGLE PEOPLE,
MARRIAGE is GOOD, but it is not the ONLY OPTION for you to GLORIFY God in your life.
Singleness and Marriage are both good gifts given to us by God.
Which means that if you are single and get married, then you are just exchanging one good gift from God for another good gift from God.
The same is true for a married individual whose spouse passes away, then you are exchanging one good gift from God for another good gift from God.
There are some circumstances in marriage that God allows for Divorce, and we will discuss this later as we continue through chapter 7.
So, Singleness and Marriage are to be Desired Gifts.
Which Displays the Gospel?
Which Displays the Gospel?
Both Singleness and Marriage
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
all the way down through verse 33.
God desired and designed marriage between a MAN for a WOMAN from the beginning of CREATION as the picture of Jesus and the CHURCH.
A Husband illustrates Jesus’ love for the Church by laying down his life to LOVE his wife.
A Wife illustrates the Church’s Love for Jesus by following and submitting to the loving leadership of her Husband.
This Selfless Love (AGAPE) is evident here in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 that we will look at later.
Listen, very carefully,
Whether you are a child, a teenager, an adult, or a senior adult,
SINGLENESS also portrays the Gospel of Jesus Christ in a POWERFUL WAY to the World.
SINGLENESS portrays the ULTIMATE IDENTITY that we all have in Jesus Christ.
We live in a world that says you NEED a Spouse to COMPLETE you.
or
You NEED Sexual Activity to FULFILL you.
But, Biblical Singleness, DECLARES to the WORLD that neither of those things are true.
Biblical Singleness, DECLARES to the WORLD that we are COMPLETE in Jesus Christ regardless of our MARITAL Status.
Isaiah 54, John 3, Revelation 19 all explain that the Lord is a Husband to His people.
More SATISFYING, More ETERNAL, than any Husband or Wife could ever be.
SINGLENESS says, I FIND my ULTIMATE JOY in Jesus Christ and in Him, I have EVERYTHING I Need, in a way that Marriage, Also Good, Does NOT Portray in the Same Way.
The World says and is saying today that you need SEXUAL ACTIVITY in order to be FULLY Yourself.
This is not TRUE. DO NOT BUY THIS LIE.
Instead, Proclaim the GOSPEL.
Jesus and His Word and His Way is ALL we NEED to EXPERIENCE ALL that He Created Us to BE.
Singleness Portrays our ULTIMATE Identity in Jesus Christ but also our ETERNAL Identification with the Church.
We know that Physical family relationship, as great as they may be, are PASSING AWAY.
ONLY our Spiritual Identity with Christ will last for Eternity.
Jesus makes it clear when asked about marriage in
30 For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.
Marriage is Temporary.
It is an Institution FROM God for this WORLD that will not be in Heaven.
Married people are only married in this life and then for an eternity, we will be single.
The RELATIONSHIP between us and Jesus Christ is TIMELESS.
SINGLENESS UNIQUELY PORTRAYS THAT REALITY.
The RELATIONSHIP between us and Jesus Christ is TIMELESS.
So, Which is a Desirable Gift from God?
Which Displays the Gospel of God?
Both Singleness and Marriage
The final question I want you to ask this morning is
Which Declares God’s Glory?
Which Declares God’s Glory?
Both Singleness and Marriage
Our GOAL and PURPOSE in life is to Glorify God.
We have now come full circle, remember back to chapter 6.
18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.
How do we Glorify God in our BODY?
Flee, RUN FROM, DON’T FLIRT WITH, Don’t RATIONALIZE, DON’T REASON WITH, RUN FROM, FLEE any and all Sexual THINKING, DESIRING, ACTING, ANYTHING Outside of Marriage between a Man and a Woman.
Thinking has to do with lustful thinking, thinking sexually about someone who is not your spouse.
Desire is not wrong but it is wrong to fuel those desires outside of marriage, man and woman.
Living together and cohabitation is not given any space in the Bible for brothers and sisters in Christ to live like they are married when they are not married.
Cohabitation may be common in our culture, and may be used to go around government taxes and support, but according to God it is SIN, sexual immorality, and God calls you to Flee it.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
Avoid Fornication (Sexual Impurity)
Acquire Marriage
Which is Better?
Singleness or Marriage
Both are Desirable Gifts,
Both Displays the Gospel, and
Both Declare God’s Glory.
What is not a Desirable Gift,
What does not Display the Gospel, and
What does not Declare God’s Glory
is Fornication.
Flee Fornication.
You are representing Christ and His FULFILLMENT and SATISFACTION to a lost and dying world.