Hospitality
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What is Christian Hospitality?
· Luke 14:12-15 **(Prayer) I want to preach the whole passage today, b/c I think the larger context is very important
(Last week) we talked about “Diakonos” (huge privilege it is to serve Christ’s Bride), I can imagine someone leaving (saying) “Our pastors are about to expect us to be serving at the new building church all the time”
I want to say loud & clear, “No, you should probably serve more out of your home”
· God didn’t give us this church building to keep us from… hospitality in our homes.
· Hospitality is a Divine Command, ---(it’s God’s will for us)
àI’m exhorting us church –don’t –allow –a –building –to –change –that ---(God ---would ---NOT ---be ----pleased).
· This church started in a living room
· This church has spent way more time together in homes (CG’s/Prayer Meetings) than any other place
Something is seriously lost …ifa church tries to “be the church” without their homes. Here’s the 1stthing the church loses: the pastors. (We aren’t qualified w/out “being hospitable”) Ex: One quick way for Kent & I to get fired (rightly so) is.. if we stop being hospitable. 1 Tim 3 “an elder must be hospitable”
Ex: As unconverted child & teenager, nobody from church had us over, except one pastor that I remember.
· I don’tremember one sermon that pastor preached growing up
· I doremember –he –showed –us –hospitality –(had our family of 5 over to his house)
à The moment I signed up to pastor, I signed up to a having a lot of people in our home.
Ex: Those early years, our church had (no money, no building, a bunch of college kids) we had people in our house until midnight a few times a week, 3hr prayer meetings in our living room until very late. The whole church was out of our house (for that first few years). Which we loved!
Titus 1:8 “a lover of hospitality” Elders don’t tolerate hospitality (every once in a while) so they stay qualified.
Ex: I thought it would be fun to do math (How many we’ve hosted in 13yrs?) I multiplied hosting w/ CG’s & other events, and over 13yrs …it comes out to around 17,000we’ve hosted (in 13yrs).
You say, “I haven’t been to your house” --Come on. Seriously! -------Now, look, I share that b/c:
1. My wife is a force to be reckoned with (when it comes to Hospitality)!! –(She’s a pro).
2. (I’d argue) this has helped our parenting. Many people say, “I can’t do hospitality I have young kids”–(but almost all our hosting was w/ little kids, and I’d say “it has helped us!” How? b/c of the accountability. We can’t parent one way in public another way in private. Plus, we’re teaching them to love serving God’s people!
I don’t just mean dinner or GC, we’ve had many live with us (year, 6,3-4months) singles/married/believers/non)
Guys, ----it’s ---“NOT ---burdensome”, it’s a joy, (Yes, sometimes it’s hard, but NEVER have we regretted it). à Few things (in the Christian life) are more joy-producing than Hospitality
Ex: (In fact) that’s what Priscila said to the ladies (last month) when she taught on this that, “we practice hospitality for the sake of joy, to fight loneliness & depression (in ourselves & for others)”
Only God knows… How many trials & sorrows Pri & I have avoided (& happiness we’ve received) b/c of hospitality!
I want to talk tonight (what I’ll call) “Christian Hospitality” I modify “Hospitality” w/ the word “Christian” b/c there’s a general hospitality (the world does) and that’s NOT the same. (In fact) the context of this chapter (Luke 14:1) this whole teaching is happening at the house of a non-believer who is hosting Jesus & the disciples. (v.1) “One Sabbath, when Jesus went to dine at the house of a ruler of the Pharisees” that guy doesn’t believe in Christ!! (he’s trying to trap him!) but he’s still feeding (Jesus, 12 others) –that’s NOT Christian hospitality!
· (In Malaysia) Poor Muslims hosted had me live with them 5wks.
· (In Brazil) we aren’t usually allowed to pay for most our meals ---(b/c we’re invited over so often)
You say, “That’s cultural” (yeah, exactly. That’s my point)
· A culture that isn’t Hospitable… isn’t a righteous culture.
· A culture that isn’t Hospitable… is almost non-existent (historically).
‘Bethlehem wasn’t hospitable to Mary/Joseph, they couldn’t find a place to stay’–(didn’t highlight Jewish cities righteous)
Luke 14:12 “when you give a dinner” (v.14) “when you give a feast”
Q) What’s Jesus doing? ---He’s making an assumption.
· Jesus doesn’t (right here) command his disciples to be hospitable)
· Jesus assumes they will, “when you give a dinner”
Like when Jesus said (Matt 6) “when you pray, when you fast, when you give” ---he doesn’t command it, he assumes …if you are his disciples, of course you will give, fast, pray, he’s assuming, “when you give a dinner/feast”
Now, look, (before we get into Luke 14), let me make sure we see: Hospitality isn’t optional for Christians.
à The Bible explicitly commands it. Rom 12:13 “seek to show hospitality” (that’s NOT a suggestion, it’s a command) It implies (we’re doing more than once a year) but… looks different (in different seasons of life).
· The family w/ (a new born, 2 in diapers) will “seek to show hospitality” different NO kids or retired
· We had a season of life, we’d go with people to Park outside (b/c one of our children was more difficult)
All Christians (in some way or another)… “seek to show hospitality” ---(it’s commanded)
1 Peter 4:9 “Be hospitable to one another without grumbling”
Q) Why add the last part? Why not“Be hospitable to one another” Why add “without grumbling?”
A) Here’s why… B/c kids break stuff, or floors get dirty, hospitality is often expensive ---and there’s a BIG temptation to “grumble” ----(at least for me).
Ex: We just had our teenage nephews stay w/ us for a month, our food bill nearly doubled. I didn’t get seconds for a month, I’d get a moderate portion, want a little more, nope. Gone. There’s a temptation to grumble, (ok, I did once) & confess it. (Ask Priscila) I’m a guy who likes to cut corners, **(I reject the label “stingy”, but a wise-steward is what I prefer) so “wise-stewards” (like myself)… might be tempted to “grumble” at the expense of hospitality, others might be tempted to grumble about cleaning, or someone staying a long time)… BUT…
1 Peter 4:9 “Be hospitable to one another” That’s a “One Another Command” –we talk a lot about One Another Commands, (59 explicitly ways God calls us to love one another as a local church) ---this is one of those 59.
***(Sometimes people say) “Fellowship’s what Christians do, hospitality is for non-believers.” Not true. It says, “Be hospitable to one another” that’s a command to be hospitable to believers (in the church)
àAnd Praise the Lord for this command!!! Ex: We’re leaving next wk (for 2wks), stay Wisconsin/ NC (w/ two different families, older mentors of ours) NO hotels, many meals provided!! (What a huge kindness to our family!)
1 Tim 5:9-10 (what Widows qualify to receive help from church, one criteria is)“if she has lodged strangers.”
**Interesting teaching, b/c most widows don’t have large homes, but they’re still expected to be hospitable, which shows there’s never a legitimate excuse to NOT be hospitable (when it comes to the size of your house).
Ex: Pri & I started hosting in a 500sq ftapartment Ex: I know of college students inviting pastors to their dorm-rooms to feed them pizza & meet their friends.
· Acts 28:30 Paul, (single Apostle, no doubt tiny house!) practiced hospitality “Paul lived 2yrs on his own expense & welcomed all who came to him”
Lauren Winner (in her book) Mudhouse Sabbath:“We are not meant simply to invite people into our homes, but also to invite them into our lives.” ----------This is our heritage
à(When you read the Bible/church) history you notice, somethings different about how Christians use their homes.
· Jesus spent most his ministry in homes, for 3yrs 12 traveling ministers w/ him, never paid for a hotel, kept hosting & feeding them, giving them a bed, a place for teaching & prayer & fellowship.
· Jesus’ ministry was largely houses of his disciples (he met along the way).
That wasn’t something those 12 disciples ignored, (b/c after Pentecost, when the Church is formed) immediately they’re in homes!! Acts 2:45-47 “All who believed were together… 46Day by day, attending the temple together
& breaking bread in their homes, they received their food w/ glad & generous hearts.”
1. Corporate Gatherings “attending the temple together”
2. Home Gatherings “breaking bread in their homes, they received their food…”
In Paul’s Ministry (Acts 20:18) “You yourselves know how I lived among you” “how I did not shrink from declaring to you anything that was profitable, & teaching you (2 categories) in public & from house to house”
· Paul didn’t just show up at a building to preach a sermon, (then nobody saw him again the rest of the week)
· Paul was in member’s homes (in their living rooms, at the dinner table eating, interacting w/ their kids).
Hospitality was a distinctive mark of the early church. (In 96AD) Clement of Rome, (writing from the church in Rome to the church in Corinth): “There was never a visitor in your midst that did not approve of your excellent & steadfast faith…or did not proclaim the magnificent character of your hospitality?”
(In Augustine’s book) “City of God” he talks about (Roman emperor, 361AD) Julian the Apostate, who tried to reinstate paganism & suppressed Christians public worship, but couldn’t suppress: the hospitality of Christians. In Julian’s Letter “To The High-priest of Galatia,” he complained against Christians, “the impious Galileans support not only their own poor but ours as well,” & “it’s their hospitality” that keeps paganism from greater acceptance.
I’d argue… (Luke 14) what Jesus says about (distinctly) “Christian Hospitality” has had a HUGE influence on the church. I see 4 things (in this passage) we must also learn:
1. Christian Hospitality is about sitting on the floor
(v.7-11) Jesus told a parable to those who were invited, (when he noticed how they chose the places of honor) saying to them, “When you are invited to a wedding feast, do not sit down in a place of honor, lest someone more distinguished than you be invited by him, & he who invited you both will come & say to you, ‘Give your place to this person,’ & then you will begin with shame to take the lowest place. But when you are invited, go & sit in the lowest place, so that when your host comes he may say to you, ‘Friend, move up higher.’ Then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at table with you. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, & he who humbles himself will be exalted”
· Christian Hospitality isn’t about showing off (nice house to show on social media, look how popular we are!!!)
· Christian Hospitality is humble… we aren’t expecting VIP treatment, we’re happy w/ cheap hamburgers or Pizza. (As your brothers & sisters) we care about “you” (NOT your stuff) …right church?
· We’ll happily sit on your floor, (that’s fine) ---we aren’t wanting to be exalted. ---Why?
· We’ve got a seat waiting (in luxurious Kingly table in world to come) we’re more than happy w/ paper plates now.
#1 Christian Hospitality is about sitting on the floor …b/c making demands NEVER produces true fellowship
2. Christian Hospitality is about ignoring your comfort zone
Listen how Jesus explains it “to the man who invited him” (v.12-14)“When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return & you be repaid. 13 But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, 14 and you will be blessed”
· Jesus could care less about… your comfort zone
· Jesus could care less about… you having no awkward dinner conversational moments.
If that’s what Jesus cared about he’d say, “Just invite over your friends, & family, those exactly like you”, but b/c he’s NOT a respecter of our (often selfish) personal preferences, he loves real people, (he says) “invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind” ----b/c nobody is inviting those people over. He’s talking about having over the people that are often neglected (in the church, and in the culture) -----those most starving for love & friendship.
Ex: (8-9yrs ago) when Pri was in Brazil w/ Noah, I had a homeless man live w/ me & sleep on our couch for a week, I always looked back on that as kinda crazy, but, (few months ago) that man (isn’t homeless anymore) contacted me on Facebook said, “my kindness & hospitality changed his life”, he wrote to thank me, 9yrs later.
Now again, (1 Pet 4:9) “Be hospitable to one another” (in the church) but also to strangers. That’s (literally) what the word “Hospitality” means, Def:“love for strangers” (could be someone new to the church (that’s a stranger to you, or someone in your neighborhood, or kids school, (especially those nobody is probably inviting over)
Now, there are some people we shouldn’t be hospitable to:
1. Don’t show hospitality Meth addicts. At least Doug Wilson says NOT to,“if you have little kids you don’t want to fill up your house with meth addicts” (it’s good advice). Ex: I know that, b/c (in college) I actually showed hospitality to a meth addict, (he lived with me & roommates, discipling him) but then bunch of our stuff kept getting stolen, we realized what was going on… then he kept breaking our windows getting in, (a few yrs) later he robbed someone at gun point, I started a prison ministry (visit him in jail)--that’s “I” NOT the Lord’ --here’s the Lord
2. Don’t show hospitality… False Teachers or thoseunrepentant under Church Discipline
· 2 Jn 10-11 “If anyone comes to you & does not bring this teaching, (right teaching about Christ/Gospel) do not receive him into your house or give him any greeting, for whoever greets him takes part in his wicked works.”
· 1 Cor 5 Don’t show hospitality to professing Christians living unrepentant under church discipline
(v.11-12) “I’m writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he’s guilty of
sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one”
There are people we shouldn’t be hospitable to, BUT, most our hesitations are (what I’d call) Personality Excuses, “I’m an introvert, I can’t handle those situations, they make me nervous, I get anxiety.” I’d never argue with this, I’m sure it’s true, but (I say this with as much patience & gentleness as possible) “since when did anxiety or fear or our personality as introvert or extrovert relieve us of a Biblical command?”
Ex: Priscila (my wife) always says, “Introverts are commanded to be hospitable, & extroverts w/ ADHD are commanded to shut the door & pray to the Father in secret, both those commands go against their natural personalities or preferences.” –(Here’s the reality church): There are certain commands of God that for you might be very easy to obey, & for me they’re very difficult, there are ones easier for me, that are harder for you.
· For some of you hear, “Be hospitable” ---some of you are like, “Yes! I love having friends over, I love getting to know new people!” ---it’s an easy yoke. ----But
· (For others) this will be something you have to “deny self, and take up your cross”
The reality is: Following Christ always moves us out of our comfort zone. –(If it never does), we’re NOT following Christ, but a version of Christianity that fits our own personality/preferences. Jesus anticipating these pushbacks…
3. Christian Hospitality is about Hating your Family ----that’s what Jesus says.
(v.26)“If anyone comes to me & does not hate his own father & mother & wife & children & brothers & sisters, yes, & even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross & come after me cannot be my disciple”
Q) What does Jesus mean by “Hate”? ESV Study Bible (explains this very simple terms)
“Those who would be Christ's disciples must:
(1) love their family less than they love Christ (14:26)
(2) bear the cross and follow Christ (v.27)
(3) relinquish everything (v.33).
These are complementary ways of describing complete commitment. The first condition for discipleship is to hate one's father, mother, wife, children, brothers, sisters, & life (18:29; 6:20–22). “Hating” is a Semitic expression for loving less (Deut. 21:15–17; Matt. 10:37). à Compared to our love for Christ, our love for family looks like -----‘hatred’
And…(I truly believe) we LOVE our family best… (when they see) …we LOVE Christ (more than them)
· We can tell our kids, “We love the Lord more than anything!” –(say it twice on Sundays) but if…
· We isolate ourselves (with just me & my family) every night, and NEVER welcome others into our lives, we’re actually showing family matters more than (Christ or His Church).
Our kids can hear us say, “We love Christ more than anything” but if they don’t see us living life with the church, they won’t believe us. à (They will see through our shallow & superficial Christianity). Opening our homes to others than just our kids… shows them… life is about MORE THAN… just “US” ------Now, finally & 4thly
4. Christian Hospitality is Eschatological -----Q) What do I mean? ---(a few things)
1) It’s how we prepare for The Eschaton, how we prepare for The Future Kingdom
· 1 Peter 4:7-9 “The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled & sober-minded for the sake of your prayers. 8 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 9 Show hospitality to one another” If someone said to you, “The world is ending! What are you going to do?” would you say?, “Love the church through hospitality.” ---but that’s what Peter says!
· Heb 10 “Let us consider how to stir up one another to love & good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, & all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”
Q) Christ is coming soon! What should we do?!!! A) “meet together! …and not stop meeting together”
Q) What’s the last thing Jesus did before leaving this earth? ---He went to the table (with his disciples)
2) It’s about getting rich(Lk 14:13-14) “When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or
your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return & you be repaid. 13 But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, 14 and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just.
it’s about getting rich (NOT here), but getting rich at the “resurrection of the just”
· Loosing wealth (through hospitality here) …if… we’re
· Gaining wealth (in the world to come)
Church, if we had any idea how good that financial investment is… (we’d be begging people to come over)!!!
à Jesus ate with tax collectors & sinners …Q) Are we too moral & righteous to do what Jesus did in his perfection?
(You say) “what will people think?” –(Probably that you’re sinning like them, or that you share their views) that’s how they accused Christ. ----BUT… listen what Jesus said…
(v.16) he said to him, “A man once gave a great banquet & invited many. At the time for the banquet he sent his servant to say to those who had been invited, ‘Come, for everything is now ready.’ But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said to him, ‘I have bought a field, & I must go out & see it. Please have me excused.’ Another said, ‘I have bought five yoke of oxen, & I go to examine them. Please have me excused.’ And another said, ‘I have married a wife, & therefore I cannot come.’ So the servant came & reported these things to his master. Then the master of the house became angry & said to his servant, ‘Go out quickly to the streets & lanes of the city, & bring in the poor & crippled & blind & lame.’ And the servant said, ‘Sir, what you commanded has been done, and still there is room.’ The master said to the servant, ‘Go out to the highways & hedges & compel people to come in, that ---my house ---may ---be ----filled.”
àThis is about Evangelism to those outside of Judaism (Gentiles). Jesus inviting the Nations to his table”
Ex: Cross-cultural missionaries have won countless Muslims/Hindu’s to Christ at dinner tables & sitting in living rooms, b/c they obeyed this passage, invited them, (NOT just into their house) but to Jesus’ house/table.
· (In OT) Jews did NOT eat what Gentiles ate, (they were commanded NOT to in the Law)
· (In OT) Jews did NOT sit at Gentile dinner tables, or enter Gentile homes(Acts 10:28).
This (racial & ethnic) tension separated all of mankind into two irreconcilable categories. One Author said “Jesus’s death & resurrection brought an end to the food fight. The King invited both Jews & Gentiles to his table”
Guys, we must pushing back against Racist Ideologies (that bring more racial hostility), we must! But listen… we must display (among all ethnic peoples, colors & cultures) that Jesus has “broken down the wall of hostility”!! ---And we show that (largely) through ---hospitality & table fellowship ---that ----mirrors ---heaven.
Conclusion: ---we’ll end on this…(v.15) “When one of those who reclined at table with him heard these things, he said to him, “Blessed is everyone who will eat bread in the kingdom of God!”
à This is the ultimate meaning of hospitality! This guy sitting with Jesus got it!!! And yelled out (v.15) “he said to him, “Blessed is everyone who will eat bread in the kingdom of God!” ----This guy got it!!! ----Q) Do you? (2x)
· We host …(because) God has hosted us in his house
· We welcome people into our home… (because) God welcomed us into his home
Ps 23 “He prepares a table before us in the presence of his enemies”
Gal 6:10 he calls the church “the household of faith”—(so that being w/ his church is (in some sense) being in his home)
John 14:1-2 “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. 2 In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again & will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also”
A true & perfect home coming. (His people) all have a chair reserved (at his table) until then… we open our homes, prepare out tables.
Church, (as we go to the table) right now… think about (these final words of Jesus at Last Supper) “Take, eat; this is my body.” he took a cup, “Drink of it, for this is my blood of the covenant, poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. I tell you I will not drink again of this fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father's kingdom” (Matt 26:26).
EXTRA CONTENT:
On this mountain the Lord of hosts will make for all peoples
a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wine,
of rich food full of marrow, of aged wine well refined.
The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2016). (Is 25:6). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles.
BEGINNING WITH A WORD SEARCH
I wanted to know if the Bible says anything further about hospitality. The easiest way to begin was to pullout the concordance and look up New Testament occurrences for the word “hospitality” or “hospitable.” Doing this, I only found seven uses of the word in our English Bibles. But what I found sent me beyond a word search
C.R. Wiley writes
“We don’t think of our households as centers of productive work. That’s because the economy has largely moved out of the house. During the industrial revolution steady work in factories replaced the home economy, and many people were forced to leave home to make a living. In the process the household was reduced to what we think of today —a haven in a heartless world— a place to sleep & eat & maybe watch television. (Man of the House, 31)
Biblical Story-line
God created the world, a home for humanity, invited Adam & Eve into it, they were terrible guests, and rebelled and ruined his house, and then the whole Biblical story-line is God working to pursue and invite guests back into his home, his household, his eternal home.
Hospitality is all over the Bible. In fact, it’s so important to God that when Paul lists out the traits necessary for a man to be qualified for the office of elder in a local congregation, we find that he must be “above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach” (1 Tim. 3:2).
I think it’s more true than ever to say that evangelism is going to look like hospitality. . . . Living courageously will involve living hospitably.
Fight to NOT lazily, eat, sleep, and phone time
Aimlessness is akin to lifelessness. Dead leaves in the back yard may move around more than anything else — more than the dog, more than the children. The wind blows this way, they go this way. The wind blows that way, they go that way. They tumble, they bounce, they skip, they press against a fence, but they have no aim whatsoever. They are full of motion and empty of life.
God did not create humans in his image to be aimless, like lifeless leaves blown around in the backyard of life. He created us to be purposeful — to have a focus and an aim for all our days.
Q) Why do we have a home? What do we want to happen inside these walls? What will the legacy be of our years here, however many years we end up living here? As a family who believes in Jesus, obeys Jesus, and loves Jesus above all else, how do we make the most of this home?
The questions are all too big for us on our own, so we take them to God and let him speak. The verses below are shaping how our family intends to steward our home, and inspiring us to make it an outpost for ministry, rather than a retreat from our mission.
Q) Hospitality in God’s Household?(As a new Christian) I used to get bothered when someone would say, “welcome to God’s House” when they’d come to a church building. I’d think, “The church isn’t a building, it’s a people” ---and that’s true, the church isn’t a building. But when the church (believing members) are gathered together in a building, (or park) we can Biblically call it, “God’s house”. ----So if you drive by Our New Church Building on a Monday and nobody is there, is that The Cross Church? –No. But if you drive by next year Sunday morning when we’re all there gathered to worship, is that God’s Household? –Yes.
Now, Why do I bring this up? Because we also want to do good hospitality in God’s household, not just our own private residences. What is good hospitality in God’s Household?
May we make our home a home for others.
When God gives us a home, he wants to care for our immediate family, but he also has other people in mind. The New Testament makes clear that God wants every Christian home — whether we are single, married, or parents — to be a home for people outside our home. Sometimes literally and physically, often more spiritually and emotionally. Paul charges every home owner (or renter), “Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality” (Romans 12:13). Hebrews adds, “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers” (Heb 13:2). Show hospitality. Meaning, wherever you call home, bring people home with you — and use your home to serve the needs of others. And do the harder, even impossible work of showing hospitality without grumbling (1 Peter 4:9) — without complaining about cleaning the home, or making extra food, or changing our plans, or being inconvenienced. Grumble-free hospitality and generosity will produce “the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing” (2 Corinthians 2:15–16) — the distinct & beautiful smell we all want filling our homes.
May we prioritize our true family.
Among all the people we might bring into our home, the Bible calls us to prioritize one group above the rest — perhaps even more than our biological families. Paul says, “Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.” (Galatians 6:9–10). Especially to other lovers of Jesus.
When asked about his biological family, Jesus says, “‘Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?’ And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother’” (Matthew 12:46–50). He also tells us to honor our parents and to provide for our biological families, but with a special burden for those who love and obey him with us.
You not only live in a home, or own a home; you are being made, with lots of other believers, into a home: “You yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 2:5). Let your home be a catalyst for that kind of spiritual building, joining, and maturing within the family of faith.
Remember, your home is NOT your home
While we may live here for a season — five years, 25 years, maybe even 50 years — this is a temporary living situation. Our earthly home is not our true home, because we have a better home, and an abiding one, in heaven (Hebrews 10:34). “Our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ” (Philippians 3:20). If we love, follow, and serve Christ, wherever we live in this world, we know we belong somewhere else.
That does not mean we cannot treasure these four walls. God has chosen these walls, for these days, specifically for us — for the sake of his glory through us and our joy in him. It does mean that we live inside these walls and care for these walls with hearts set on our final and everlasting home. As you enjoy this dwelling place for this allotted time, prepare your heart and family to live forever at home with the Lord.
God’s Providence & Hospitality
Where you live — house, townhome, duplex, apartment, or dorm — is not ultimately a consequence of your budget, your stage of life, or your commute. You live where you live because God has deliberately, sovereignly placed you here. The long series of events, decisions, and circumstances that led you here really did lead you here. He brought you home one detail at a time.
The God who made the world, and everything in it, as Paul preached at Mars Hill, “made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us” (Acts 17:26–27).
God not only knit you together in your mother’s womb; he also sovereignly orchestrated all the places you would call home — the periods and boundaries of your “dwelling place.” You do not have a home by accident. Your home is an invitation from God to seek God, and a commission from God to help others seek God.
Table-Fellowship Q) Can sharing the table with others really advance the kingdom of Christ?
Gathering at the King’s Table
“It has been Christ’s plan since the beginning of the church to advance his kingdom through dinner tables.”
It is the prerogative of conquering kings to invite guests to their table. In kindness, David invited Mephibosheth, grandson of King Saul, to join his royal banquet (2 Samuel 9:10). In the book of Daniel, King Nebuchadnezzar extended hospitality to Daniel and his friends after his conquest of Judea (Daniel 1:5). An invitation to the king’s table is an extension of sovereign grace and mercy.
As Christians, hospitality also flows from our King. Jesus started his ministry in Mark’s Gospel going about “proclaiming. . . ‘the kingdom of God is at hand’” (Mark 1:14–15). In the very next chapter, Jesus gives a foretaste of his triumphant victory, sharing the table with the most unlikely of guests. The scribes marvel at his dinner company: “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?” (Mark 2:16).
Our King has invited us to dine at his table as royal sons and daughters. Consider this reality: “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies” (Psalm 23:5). Nothing snubs an enemy and declares, “We are untouchable!” like sitting down to dinner in the middle of a war.
It’s no accident that we accept the hospitality of our Savior every time we approach the Communion Table. Jesus has invited us to share in his eternal victory through his death and resurrection at a table. It signals to the powers of darkness that our victory is certain; their defeat is imminent.
Gathering Together at One Table
In the Old Testament, Jews and Gentiles were reminded of a glaring separation every time they sat down for dinner. Jews did not eat what Gentiles ate, did not sit at Gentile dinner tables, and weren’t even supposed to enter Gentile homes (Acts 10:28). This rift separated all of mankind into two irreconcilable categories, and the whole world was reminded of it at 5:30pm every evening.
However, as the apostles spread the message of Jesus’s death and resurrection far and wide, the unthinkable became reality. Jesus brought an end to the food fight. The King invited both Jews and Gentiles to his table.
“Are you sitting down to eat with people you should never get along with?”
It began with a series of troubling dreams where the Lord commanded Peter to eat Gentile food. Peter was puzzled by the Lord’s chiding: “What God has made clean, do not call common” (Acts 10:15). However, when he entered a Gentile home for the first time and watched as a Roman centurion named Cornelius and his whole household became believers, Peter realized that the blood of Jesus washes all men clean.
When Jesus wanted to show Peter the full implications of the “good news of peace through Jesus Christ” (Acts 10:36), he brought Peter to a dinner table. In the home of Cornelius, Peter learned that one Lord, one faith, and one baptism meant that men who formerly hated one another could now peacefully share a dinner table.
Never before had a Galilean fisherman been a houseguest of a Roman centurion. The dividing wall of hostility had been torn down in Christ (Ephesians 2:14–16). Peter and Cornelius celebrated their King’s victory before the whole world by sharing the hospitality that was theirs through the same gospel (Acts 10:48).
It has been Christ’s plan since the beginning of the church to advance his kingdom through dinner tables. The first believers in Acts are found “day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, [receiving] their food with glad and generous hearts” (Acts 2:46). For millennia, the dinner table was a visible reminder of the division between men. It is at the dinner table that the peace of Christ must now visibly reign.
So, how are you celebrating the victory of our crucified and risen King day by day? Are your meals bizarre to the world? Are you sitting down to eat with people you should never get along with? Are you dining with people from other races, nations, and social classes — eating food you would never have tried if not for the unity of Christ’s body? How does your mealtime shine forth the peace that Christ has brought to a hostile world?
“God has made forks and spoons, pans, pots, and plates weapons of war against the darkness.”
Showing hospitality is a fight. Satan will convince you, six ways to Sunday, that you don’t have time to share your table with others. Whether scheduling issues, sports practices, fatigue, or money constraints — there will always be a reason not to invite others over for dinner.
But hospitality is worth the fight. When you survey your kitchen at the night’s close, and it is filled with dirty silverware, piles of plates, and a sink overflowing with greasy pans and pots, may you realize these are the well-used weapons of our war against the darkness. Make your ladles, casserole dishes, and cookie sheets become your trusty side arms in our fight to expand his kingdom.
Hospitality is basically is using your Christian home in a daily way that seeks to make strangers neighbors, and neighbors family of God. —If you’re unable to use your home in this way, there are ways to always help others in using their home in this way.
For Christians to maintain an authentic Christian witness to a world that mistrusts us, at the very least, we must be transparently hospitable.
Table fellowship that depends on identity sameness banks on a false understanding of personhood, and doesn’t see our imago dei first, but identity politics and sameness first.
à Hospitality can be expensive and even inconvenient. It compels us to care more for our church family and neighbors then our personal status in the world.
The word hospitalitycomes from the Greek word, Philoxenia. (which means love of strangers).
Many are sidelined by fears: we fear people will hurt us. We fear we won’t be able to speak the language of our neighbors or related to them. We fear negative impacts on our children.
Sometimes we are a host, obeying God’s commands, sometimes we are a guest, on the receiving end, but we are always one or the other, we are either hosts or guests. The Christian life makes no room for independent agents. We refuse to live life alone, and keep to ourselves.
Those of you who care for orphans and do foster care teach this church a lot about what hospitality looks like.
Eat with Sinners (like Jesus did)
Many (rather than engaging their neighbors who they might struggle to know how to communicate with or understand) would rather just build bigger walls around our homes, put more locks on our doors, and insulate ourselves more from those around us that we disagree with. And I get it, things have changed quickly we’re dealing with the culture that many believe that gender is not biological but psychological and just something that you feel about yourself. Identity politics, and people who disagree with us on many political issues or ethical or sexual issues, the thought of having them sitting at our table with us, or over coffee, isn’t comfortable, we might not always know what to say, but this is our primary way to get them the gospel. Jesus ate with tax collectors and sinners, are we too moral and righteous to do what Jesus in his perfection did. You say what will people think? Well they thought Jesus was participating in sin because he was eating with them, they may think that you’re doing that stuff or that you hold that person’s view… That’s how they judged Christ I’m sure that judgment could be pronounced on you if you start to build friendships with people who are very different from you.
Loneliness
A recent study reported that the loneliest people in America are college students. Surprising? Other groups showing high levels of loneliness were the divorced, welfare recipients, single moms, housewives, and the elderly. This covers the majority of our culture, indicating that loneliness is an American epidemic.
To illustrate just how lonely many people are, Chuck Swindoll tells the story of a Kansas newspaper ad, which read, "I'll listen to you talk for 30 minutes without comment for $5." Swindoll said, "Sounds like a hoax, doesn't it? But the person was serious. Did anybody call? You bet. It wasn't long before this individual was receiving 10 to 20 calls a day. The pain of loneliness was so sharp that people were willing to pay to talk to a complete stranger for a half hour of companionship."
We were created for relationships. Don't go through life solo. Connect with someone today.
Hungry/Thirsty, Stranger, (hospitality, next week) ---sick or in prison, we don’t have any members of this church in prison, but we do often have members sick, and there are always needs to care for the sick among us. We may be tempted to downplay the importance of housing someone or feeding someone in America, especially other people who aren’t starving.
1. The first challenge is how to meet strangers. Class and time barriers work against this vital Christian work. But prison, refugee, and foster-care programs are ready and waiting for you to partner with them. Safe Families is a Christian alternative to foster care, and it is a program that many families in the church can participate with together. Christians must be intentional about seeking the stranger. We must think of our homes as hospitals, embassies, and incubators, not castles, fortresses, or museums.
2. The second challenge is how to direct the conversation to Christ. For the Butterfields, the nightly practice of family devotions has helped our family manage this sometimes awkward transition from amusement to eternity. How? Every night is the same routine. Dinner, followed by my husband leading us in a short Bible lesson, followed by prayer, and sometimes ending with singing a psalm. Because we do this every night, incorporating others into the practice of Christian table fellowship is normal. Without being asked, when dinner plates are passed to the head of the table to be brought to the sink, Bibles are passed around with the coffee mugs.
How to live as if this is NOT our permanent home
Our Lord’s hospitality commands. Mark 10:28–30 says this: Peter began to say to [Jesus], “See, we have left everything and followed you.” Jesus said, “Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses & brothers & sisters & mothers & children & lands, with persecutions, & in the age to come eternal life.”
Q) What would happen in your church if new visitors received multiple invitations for a meal after the service?
When my husband and I were first married, I remember one specific comment from our pastor’s sermon, “Just put on a pot of soup before church and then invite someone over you’ve never met before.” The idea had never crossed my mind. In many ways, hospitality seemed most comfortable inviting friends over to well-planned meals. But inviting strangers over? Over our years in ministry, taking this pastor’s advice has proven to be one of my favorite things about Sundays.
Lonely Hearts, Open Home
I love watching a person’s reaction when they’re invited to share a meal spur-of-the-moment. Most are delighted, whether they are able to come or not. I sometimes wonder how long it’s been since a person has received an invitation for a meal in another’s home? The eager responses we receive, even to last-minute invitations, show me people are just as hungry for fellowship as for lasagna.
Ex: One of Priscila & I’s biggest regrets is how many of you we still haven’t had over yet… if you wait for us, it will eventually happen, if you invite yourself over, it will happen this week or next probably. Haha.
We’ve had seasons where the kids ages, we went to a park after church, all grabbed lunch so we could eat, talk and let the kids play in the park.
Ex: I remember growing up in churches as an unconverted child, then teenager, 1 time we were invited to someone’s house, I don’t remember 800 sermons, I do remember that pastor who had us over. I went to church with all these people 3x a week, Sunday (2x), Wednesday, but we were never in eachothers homes, outside of a kids Birthday party. That’s what the world does, we must do better. Loneliness is a big problem in this culture, one massive practical step to loving the lonely among us, or in our workplace, neighborhood, or church is ---hospitality.
Cultural Element
In Malaysia, I lived with Muslim family for a month. When we’re in Brazil, we probably ate dinner or had coffee in at least, 10 different homes, a few of those just members of the church who showed us kindness. America isn’t good at this. This is part of America’s darkness, not our light. So when American’s do this well, we do show something distinct and different, especially when someone realizes, they aren’t invited over as some sort of cultural norm (“this is just what we do”) but out of a genuine desire to care for them, or get to know them.
This Sunday, as you greet your friends at church, look around you. Are there singles sitting alone? New faces who need a warm smile and introduction? Are there people you could bless by extending an invitation to lunch?
Here are 3 reasons to step out of our comfort zones and ask them over to lunch.
1. It demonstrates the love of Christ.
By reaching out to a stranger and offering to share a meal, you’re showing the love and kindness of our Savior. We never know the obstacles a person overcame just to be sitting in the pew next to us, and thus, how our kindness can point to the Savior. A dinner invitation with a smile can be just the thing someone needs to have the courage to come back next Sunday.
2. You become less self-focused.
The generosity of your time and resources takes the focus off of self and puts it on others. Instead of being consumed with our family’s schedule, spending money on our favorites, we lay aside our agenda and concentrate on what others would prefer (Philippians 2:3–4).
Around the holidays there are plenty of reasons to feel we don’t have enough time for hospitality, but the joy we receive when we open our doors pays us back one hundredfold.
3. Your children can serve with you.
Sunday hospitality at our house is a family affair. All our children are given jobs to help get things ready.
“The kitchen table has a way of breaking down barriers between people.”
This past Sunday, my husband had a lengthy meeting after our service, which meant I needed to rely all the more on the help of my kids. My son swept the leaves off the steps, my 4-year-old picked up his toys that were sprawled all over our family room, my 9-year-old daughter set the table, and my 14-year-old worked alongside me in the kitchen, peeling potatoes and chopping up vegetables. “I love having people over,” she said to me as we diced and sliced.
Over the years she’s listened to stories from missionaries, learned about different careers as people share about their jobs, entertained little ones, and made new friends. I hope the joy she’s experienced in our home will spur her on as she launches from our nest and creates a home of her own.
Power in a Bowl of Soup
I love the thought of visitors, both believers and unbelievers, coming to our churches and receiving multiple invitations to a meal after the service. In a world where so many people feel lost and alone, the church should be a place of comfort and care. Hearts might be softened and defenses lowered over a steaming bowl of soup and conversation. And we might just see them back at church next week.
Uri
I am not suggesting we forsake those habits of cleanliness, but I do suggest we loosen our commitment to certain habits as pre-requisites for hospitality. How many opportunities have been missed because we assumed that such and such a person would look down on us if they saw our house a certain way, the clothes on the couch, the boys’ room in utter chaos, etc? *And as a sweet little footnote, if dads are not invested in the cleaning, let their steaks burn a thousand deaths.I remember a time many years ago when I was having a conversation with a young family with two little kids. The conversation was about our church’s focus on hospitality, to which the father replied: “One day we will have time for that.” Now, I was quite a young pastor in those days, and my boldness was low in the Richter scale, but today I would simply say, “If you wait for the right time, when the “right” time comes, it will always feel like the wrong time.” That’s the case because hospitality is built on the foundation of crying babies and broken toys. It’s a gift you learn to give others with plenty of practice…. You can tell that the families that thrive in the hospitality department didn’t simply start to host when their kids turned 12, but that they have learned the art of hospitality when their kids were 12 days old. They did it and they still do it, and their children will continue to do it. In fact, the glorious thing about the messiness of houses and toy rooms and unfinished house projects is that it reflects the ongoing growth of the kingdom of God filled with messy humans, broken rooms, and unfinished discipleship programs for civilization. But we can’t wait until the eschaton comes in order to begin practicing kingdom habits; we practice them as the very means for kingdom growth.”
Bonhoeffer spoke of three tables:
1. The daily fellowship at the table ---(non-believers cancome)
2. The table of the Lord’s Supper ---(non-believers can’t come)
3. The final table fellowship at the Last Day. ---(non-believers can’tcome) ---the one table they can join us in and truly be blessed, and it’s a doorway into the other two is… our kitchen or dining room table.
We can say that for Bonhoeffer, our daily meals are preparatory for future meals. After all, hospitality is eschatological. There is nothing more fitting for a table of kings and queens than to practice the habits of the eternal kingdom of our Lord. One begins to see this eschatology in place when the very people you hosted in your home forms their own households and begin to share in that treasure of untold stories and laughter. Remember that your children are watching and they are likely going to imitate your patterns later in life. It happens, but very rarely have I seen inhospitable parents produce hospitable sons. The stories your offspring will tell will be of dreadful loneliness at home growing up or of experiences of joy around a table. Again, it is very rare that an inhospitable family rejoices around a table as a matter of practice. Rather, the hospitality of others produces the joy around the table when there is no one to host.
We can begin somewhere to explore the pleasures of hosting when we see it as a seed planted in the eternal garden of praise. To have someone enter your home and partake of your gifts of food is to allow someone to enter into the place of deepest secrets; we are allowing them to see the transparency of unkept yards, rogue Lego pieces, partly uncooked or overcooked meals, rambunctious children, and the regular messiness of life. Yes, you should probably do some cleaning, but you should restrain from excessive cleaning lest you treat it as a mechanical showcasing of your home. As one sage puts it, “Your home should look like someone lives in it!” In order to do that, leave open invitations for the single and the widows to come by for a lentil soup or a Sam’s bought pizza on a typical weekday. Then, there will be only time to remove the occasional kids’ clothes lying on the couch.
If hospitality is eschatological, then every experience in hosting is a theological act. If hosting is eschatological, then every piece of pie served, every glass of wine, the spilled peas, the summer watermelon and the awkward pauses around a table is an act of grace. To be hospitable is to embrace heaven in an elaborate party or in a dinner of herbs.
Hospitality was a distinctive mark of the early church. Consider these words written in 96 AD by Clement of Rome, writing from the church in Rome to the church in Corinth:
“Indeed, was there ever a visitor in your midst that did not approve of your excellent and steadfast faith…or did not proclaim the magnificent character of your hospitality?”
What does it look for a Church to be known for its hospitality in the community? We often forget that one of the greatest displays of true religion which catapulted the Christian faith in the ancient world was the gift of hospitality. The Church constantly intermingled in this world of eating and drinking together. The result of such experiences was that the Lord’s Day became an experience of remarkable joy, even amidst persecution.
The Christian’s most important day is doubled in communion and blessings when members have already tasted of moments of worship around a table, singing with friends, and laughing with our children through the week. Indeed, hospitality throughout the week becomes the preparatory means to feast and prepare our hearts for Sunday. In fact, the more it is practiced the richer will the Sabbath event be amidst the congregation.
Because this is so crucial in the life of the Church, and precisely because the Church’s imperative are so clear biblically and historically, I do not accept any psychological description that sounds like an apologetic for not doing it. Such may vary from, “But I don’t make enough money for hospitality,” or “I don’t know how to cook for large groups,” or “I am not comfortable entertaining people,” or “my house is too small,” or “I live alone,” or “life is too hectic right now,” and a host of self-defeating propositions. We shall address some of these in the future, but suffice to say, the kind of hospitality I advocate is the incremental type that begins by inviting a family or a couple or an individual over at least once a month. In fact, the kindest hosts I know are people who don’t make much money and live in small homes but determined long ago that this is a gift of immeasurable worth that cannot be set aside because of my fears or uncertainties.
In the end, we have to ask ourselves whether we have allowed our apathy to dictate our imperative instead of shutting our apathy with God’s imperatives. The impact hospitality has on a family will endure to a thousand generations. If we linger we are missing out on the benediction bestowed on others through hospitality, but more importantly the benediction God would love to bestow on us.
The Heaven of Hospitality, Part 1
Many years ago, shortly after we were married, we decided to invest in this hospitality business. We had heard the tapes, knew our biblical imperatives and happened to come across some really dangerous authors who told us that hospitality was not an option. I regret ever having served my neighbor with food and laughter…said no one ever!
I remember inviting over a fairly wealthy family. The father was a gentle soul, who was very successful in his labors. They accepted our invitation and when we returned home from church to get everything ready it dawned on us that our table could only fit four people, but they were a family of 6. Our apartment was a little over 700 square feet and we only had four chairs. After some deliberation, we made the decision to sit on the floor and eat, to which they happily agreed. I remember being slightly embarrassed, but any concerns went away when we started eating and laughing. It was one of the most memorable Sundays in my life!
Here is the truth, as black as Amazonian coffee: those who do not practice hospitality fail to taste the goodness of God. It’s plain and simple. When Paul said, “do hospitality” (διώκοντες (Rom. 12:13; root word engages the concept of “persecution;” think of happily persecuting hospitality), he said that we are to be zealous for this gift. For Paul, and for so many other biblical authors, hospitality was a visible demonstration of our baptism into Christ. Christ hosts us in his body and we host others in our abode.
We shall deal with practicalities throughout, but we must begin this conversation with an important principle found in Solomon. Proverbs 15:17 says: “Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a fattened ox and hatred with it.” The Bible uses the image of a “fattened ox” because it represents the finest foods available. The contrast is significant in this text because love is to be preferred over the best foods. Abundance and hatred do not go hand in hand. Abundance and hatred produce an un-godly environment–an environment where people do not want to be. Wealth and hatred only lead to disaster, but wealth of love is the secret ingredient to hospitality.
Johnny Cash writes (in a song)
It’s not the barley or the wheat
It’s not the oven or the heat
That makes this bread so good to eat
It’s the needing and the sharing that makes the meal complete.
What makes a meal complete is the sense of sharing and passing and needing oneness in the context of a table, even if that table comes from the meager earnings of a college student or a widow. There, in that moment, when we are joined, something mystical is taking place: we are imitating a table of kings and queens. Whether with herbs or the finest meal, the very presence of image-bearers partaking of food and drink form a sacred bond that affirms our love for God and one another. And for this entire thing to run as good as a hot cup of ramen noodles in a cold college dorm, we need the recipe of love. We don’t need abundance, we need only a few grateful saints around a table sharing stories and affirming the humanity of one another; for where two or three are gathered around a table, God is in their midst.
The Heaven of Hospitality, Introduction
We had 21 souls in our home for dinner last night! It’s a common practice in our household. But we didn’t just wake up one morning and for the first time decided to invite all those fine people for a meal. Over the years my wife and I have surrounded ourselves with people who are seasoned at hospitality. They invited us over when we were young in our married life, when we only had one child and they continue to do it as our family has increased in numbers. They have refreshed my family and me. Let’s face it: hosting a family of seven is not for wimps! But yet, they have gone out of their way to make us feel comfortable and satisfied.
It is hard to express the level of gratitude I have for the hundreds of meals prepared out of love and devotion. In turn, we have worked hard at imitating those who practice hospitality so generously. Yet, I am grieved by how the apostles’ imperatives (Heb. 13:2; I Pet. 4:9) are so often overlooked in the evangelical community. It’s often that I hear visitors to our congregation and outside our community state with some level of sadness, that they have never or rarely been invited by a Christian to someone’s home for a simple meal. Yes, they have probably experienced what we call in the South, “Potluck meals,” but that is different from the experience of particularized hospitality the Bible has in mind.
The Church and the individual family miss a genuine opportunity to serve one another, to hear each others’ stories, and give out of the abundance given to us in Christ Jesus. Indeed, hospitality is the overflow of God’s love for us. We host because God has hosted us in his house (Ps. 23). I love the way Lauren Winner describes this in her book, Mudhouse Sabbath:
“We are not meant simply to invite people into our homes, but also to invite them into our lives. Having guests and visitors, if we do it right, is not an imposition, because we are not meant to rearrange our lives for our guests – we are meant to invite our guests to enter into our lives as they are.”
What I wish to do in this short series is to encourage you to see how practical and pleasing it is to do hospitality. It doesn’t demand the most expensive wine bottle nor does it demand the most extroverted host, it only demands a willing heart to see the Gospel made known in the midst of unfolded laundry and wildly active children.
Who can host? The family of seven, the newly-wed couple, the single young man, and anyone who can spare some change for a noble cause. For many of you who have never practiced this Christian gift, you can begin small and inexpensively, but what you can’t do is leave it up for the right opportunity. The right opportunity comes when you make it. Begin small and you will see the joy and celebration that overtakes a house that is known for her hospitality.
Healing Hospitality (2 Sam 9) David’s Hospitality
David owed him nothing. He was the grandson of an enemy who tried to kill him several times. Now David’s enemy has been put down. Saul, the king of Israel, is dead, and David has acceded the throne as he was promised through the anointing hand of the prophet Samuel years ago. Most of Saul’s house was dead as well, including his son, Jonathan, who was David’s friend. But there was one member of the house remaining: Jonathan’s son, Mephibosheth.
Though lame in both of his feet (2Sm 9.3, 13) and living in “Nowhere” or “Nothing” (Lo-debar; 2Sm 9.5), the blood of Saul still ran through his veins, and there were still some in Israel who might be loyal to the house of Saul. Because of this, Mephibosheth was a rival to the throne. Among the kings of the nations, it would have been common practice and completely understandable to eliminate the last vestiges of Saul’s house so that the potential for a coup would be stopped before it was started. David could even justify this by saying that he was creating peace. But that is not what David does. He seeks out a member of the house of Saul, not to eliminate, but to extend to him the grace of hospitality. Mephibosheth is shown chesed, covenant-love, from David. David restores his land and makes Mephibosheth a member of his household who will always eat at the king’s table.
King David’s act of mercy and grace is reflective of the King of kings whom he represents. David sits on the throne of Yahweh. (1Chr 29.23) Ordinarily, someone like Mephibosheth, a man crippled in his feet, wouldn’t be allowed to draw near the throne of Yahweh and eat at the same table as the King. Anyone with a physical deformity such as Mephibosheth’s was barred from drawing near. (Lev 21.16-24) David’s act reflects the character and promise of God: In his mercy, God himself will provide healing that will draw near to him those deformed by sin.
So, how will we know great David’s greater Son when he appears? He will act like his father David. He will show mercy and bring healing so that those who are deformed by sin’s effects will be made fit to eat at the King’s table. This is one reason why Jesus comes healing bodies. He is not showing off his power for the sake of showing off. He is making right that which sin twisted; making bodies fit for the kingdom meal. He heals them and eats with them. This is how we know David’s Son.
This merciful, healing hospitality is the standard of judgment by which we discern those loyal to David’s Son. When Jesus eats with a ruler of the Pharisees in Luke 14, we see David’s mercy contrasted with the present rulers in Israel; those who would love to claim David’s throne in some form but don’t share his character. Jesus begins by healing a man with dropsy or edema (that is, excessive fluid retention caused by congestive heart or kidney disease). He too would have been excluded from a feast before the King’s throne because of his deformity. Toward the end of the episode at the ruler’s house, Jesus tells them that a man had a great banquet to which he eventually invites the poor, crippled, blind, and lame, all people who have no claim on a position at the table. Echoes of David and Mephibosheth reverberate through this episode. Jesus is great David’s greater Son and the rulers in Israel are not. They will be rejected by Yahweh while Jesus will be exalted to sit as King.
Those loyal to David’s son, Jesus, are still known by their merciful, gracious, healing hospitality. We are those who announce God’s healing from sin and its effects, proclaim forgiveness to the repentant, and bring the healed souls to the kingdom table before the throne of King of kings each week. Those who share the character of David and his Son are David’s sons indeed.
Gospel & Hospitality
One characteristic of God is that he is hospitable. He is so hospitable that before there is anything outside of himself, he decides to create man in order to bring him into fellowship with him. Even after man sins, God hunts him down to restore him to his family, welcoming him back.
When we are renewed in the image of God, and as we grow up in that image, we too become hospitable. It can’t be otherwise. We desire and want to show God’s love to others so that they can know real life. What we discover in these acts of love toward others is that our hospitality to others and theirs to us becomes the occasion for discipleship. Sometimes this is quite purposeful. We invite people to our homes to encourage them either to come to know Christ initially or to encourage the hurting. Hospitality is not merely sharing a meal with one another. Hospitality is an expression of love to others, and that love, that letting other people in, is the way discipleship happens.
Most of the time you don’t have to do anything extraordinary. Just the simple act of opening your home up to others and doing what you normally do as a Christian home while including these others becomes the occasion for discipleship. When you enjoy one another in your family around the table, laughing and talking about your day, pray with one another, and things as such, you are showing people what it means to be a disciple of Christ. Of course, our homes have problems as well. Not everything is lightness and laughter all the time. Even when our guests see glimpses of these things and how we handle them, these too are occasions for discipleship. All of this means that while discipleship classes and things as such have their place, we can’t discount the simple sharing of a meal together as a Christian to fulfill the Great Commission.
“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.” –Jesus, Revelation 3:20
The old hymn commands, “let every heart prepare him room!” This is what a Christian is, after all: one who has welcomed Jesus. Welcoming has been part and parcel of Christian faith and practice since the beginning—first century Christians adopting diseased children, Paul instructing Philemon to receive his former slave back home as a brother, Jesus eating with the outcast, Israel welcoming the sojourners. Even if it isn’t easy to do, we can at least understand how to show hospitality to the weak and vulnerable. But God is not weak or vulnerable. How do we open the door of our lives to him? How do we “make him room?”
Mark tells the story (1:35-39) of Jesus being perfectly disciplined. He gets up early, he prays, he orders his time based on God’s mission rather than the opinions and needs of others. What does it look like to show hospitality to one so whole, so absent of need? Miguel Arteta’s beautiful new film Beatriz at Dinner gives us a clue. After her car breaks down at the home of a client, Beatriz—a new age massage therapist and holistic healer—finds herself stranded at an upscale dinner party.
At first glance, the movie is a contrast between Beatriz (Salma Hayek) and Doug (John Lithgow), a high-powered businessman. He is invited to dinner, the guest of honor, she is unexpected; he’s everyone’s employer, she’s an employee to his employee; he boasts, she demurs; he takes life—showing pictures of his prize kill from a recent safari expedition, she gives life.
Early in the movie, Beatriz weeps as she recounts that an angry neighbor killed her pet goat—“murder.” Throughout the dinner, Beatriz swears she recognizes Doug. Was he the man who built a hotel in her hometown that displaced a swath of the community? No, he’s too young. But how does she know him? By the end of the party, after proclaiming, “all tears come from the same source,” she looks Doug in the eye and mater-of-factly states, “you killed my goat.” On one level, the movie is about the conflict between good and evil.
The brilliance of the film, however, is found not in the leads, but in the near perfectly cast team of character-actors around the dinner table. As two radically opposing forces collide, we see tension, deflection, amusement, and horror in the onlooker’s faces. At its heart, Beatriz at Dinner isn’t about Beatriz or Doug at all; it’s about the guests at the dinner party, and the choice they’ll all have to make by the end of the evening. On the one hand, Doug offers power. Beatriz, conversely, offers the promise of healing, and healing in a way particular to each of them: cancer in one case, back-pain in another.
As the evening progresses, it becomes evident that what Doug and Beatriz have to offer is mutually exclusive. To whom will each guest show hospitality, Doug or Beatriz? While the woman who first insisted Beatriz come to the party attempts to straddle the fence, she too is forced to take sides. To get Doug’s approval, the guests must grovel—they must earn their place around the table. They can’t seem weak or vulnerable. They are valuable to Doug insofar as they’re useful, but not a minute longer. At one point, he jokes about leaving his third wife for a more attractive guest at the party.
Beatriz’s gift, however, is just that: a gift. It can’t be earned, only received. The difficulty, the predicament, the tragedy, is that no one can let down their pretense and airs to see their need—not now, not at a party, not when so much is at stake. To take hold of the hope Beatriz can offer (the unseen) requires abandoning that which Doug is currently offering (the seen). Alas, one can’t serve two masters.
Back to the Gospel of Mark. After describing how Jesus is whole, Mark immediately tells the story of a man who is broken (1: 40-45). When he encounters Jesus, the man isn’t told, as you might expect, to find healing by doing the good things Jesus just did. He’s not asked to earn his place in Jesus’ presence; he isn’t told how to pull himself up by his bootstraps. Rather, Jesus reaches down, out of pity, and heals the man of his leprosy directly. By running to Jesus the man was running away from every other form of salvation; he came bringing only his need, and that was enough.
Like Beatriz, Jesus joyfully comes to dinner, bringing healing with him. However, it’s not a given that we will welcome him. To the contrary, welcoming Jesus involves the painful, uncertain process of letting go of our pride and self-satisfaction. By showing hospitality to Jesus we’re necessarily neglecting those other masters in our lives who demand our complete loyalty and attention. Jesus stands at the door and knocks, ready to dine with us. How do we welcome him? One hymn tells us to “make him room;” another hymn—reminiscent of Beatriz at Dinner—tells us how:
“Come, ye weary, heavy laden, bruised and broken by the fall; if you tarry ’til you’re better, you will never come at all…. Let not conscience make you linger, nor of fitness fondly dream; all the fitness He requires is to feel your need of Him.”
The Gospel Creates Hospitality (and did in the early church)
Just a little after the Council of Nicea in 325 AD, Flavius Claudius Julianus, was born in 332. He became infamous: Julian the Apostate. He tried to reinstate paganism despite the fact that he was the last of the Constantian emperors of Rome. Augustine reports how Julian the Apostate (the Roman emperor, 361-363) would not permit masters of rhetoric and grammar to teach Christians. Why? Because the liberal arts were “conducive to the acquisition of argumentative and persuasive power” (City of God, 18). Philip Schaff, wrote of this episode in Church history:
“Julian would thus deny Christian youth the advantages of education, & compel them either to sink in ignorance & barbarism or to imbibe with the study of the classics in the heathen schools of the principles of idolatry… Hence he hated especially the learned church teachers, Basil, Gregory of Nazianzen, Apollinaris of Laodicea, who applied the classical culture to the refutation of heathenism & the defence of Christianity” (Church History, Vol. 3, pp. 53-54).
While he suppressed Christians through these educational policies for a time, there was something that he could not suppress: the hospitality of Christians. In Julian’s Letter “To Arsacius, High-priest of Galatia,” he complained against Christians, “the impious Galilaeans support not only their own poor but ours as well,” and “it is their benevolence to strangers” that keeps Hellenistic religion from greater acceptance.
The concept of hospitality is woven into the fabric on the gospel.
· The Father sent Jesus as the bread of life for the world.
· He showed the ultimate kindness to those at enmity with Him (Rom. 5:8).
· Though the world rejected Him at first, by His grace, He efficaciously called us to Himself & continually serves us.
The terms translated in the NT strongly convey the concept: Philoxenia literally means, love for strangers or foreigners. Hospitality is kindness to strangers (Rom. 12:13, 1 Pet. 4:9). Another term, Xenodocheo (a verb) means literally to “lodge strangers” (1Tim. 5:10). Jesus taught this in Luke 14:12–14:
“When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, otherwise they may also invite you in return and that will be your repayment. But when you give a reception, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, since they do not have the means to repay you; for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”
When we welcome others, strangers, foreigners, those that are different, this approaches the idea of hospitality. Many times, we have our friends over, whom we feel comfortable with and know that they will repay the kindness. This may be good to do, but it misses the mark of the biblical commands of hospitality. Hospitality takes us beyond our comforts into those awkward and somewhat fearful places of risking ourselves and our goods, without knowing or caring about a return. When we truly show hospitality, there is sometimes an occasion for complaining, e.g., since we did not get any return on our investment. This is why Peter adds a second exhortation to being hospitable: “Be hospitable to one another without complaint” (1 Pet. 4:9). Why would he have to say this? Because welcoming and serving those you know least and who are not your close and comfortable friends sometimes creates the occasion of guests not responding graciously.
If you knew your next guests would not be very gracious, would not be very grateful, and would even do some damage to your property (e.g., one of the kids break a dish), would you still serve them? The biblical answer is that true hospitality does not look for reward or repayment here or now. It acts on the basis of grace already received and gives without the need for human repayment. In this way the gospel can be preached through casseroles and cupcakes, through burgers, brats, and blueberries, when these are freely and graciously given.
I think once we have a right mind about hospitality (stranger love based on grace and looking for no repayment), then we must apply this to our own church circumstances. Hospitality is a means of loving people to Christ and to the means of grace in your church. It provides a means of general ministry for you and your family. It provides opportunities with visiting missionaries, pastors, or Christian workers.
Let Me Get Specific
Schedule it. Set a regular time to reach out to those you don’t know well. Set a goal: Every family in the church over a set time period, starting with those least known to you. Write it down: Make a list of people who may need to be encouraged by your service. Practice kindness:
“Some folks make you feel at home. Others make you wish you were.” Arnold H. Glasow. Learn to ask meaningful questions; make the conversation about your guests; seek to understand their spiritual journey; focus on knowing Christ, not secondary matters; don’t be negative; look for gifts and graces in guest’s lives; ask for matters about which you can pray and then pray. Practice serving and hosting in peace: Proverbs 15:17 – “Better is a dish of vegetables where love is than a fattened ox served with hatred.” Proverbs 17:1 – “Better is a dry morsel and quietness with it than a house full of feasting with strife.” Volunteer to house missionaries or traveling servants of the Lord.
Hospitality by hosting families for a meal can be a wonderful service. Unfortunately, we sometimes fall into the pattern of hosting those who least need it. One of the challenges in the Church today is the tendency for divisions along social and/or economic lines. Some perceive themselves as “normal” and view others not like them as “fringe.” There are those that have less means and space. They may feel intimidated by others and fear that what they could offer is “not good enough” for another family.
Epiphany in the kitchen. Some years ago an acquaintance invited our family to a meal along with another family, whom we also did not know very well. There was a slight amount of concern on my part: will this be enjoyable, awkward, stressful, peaceful? As soon as we arrived, we were put to work cutting up vegetables, sautéing mushrooms, peeling shrimp, filling up water glasses. We did not know these people very well and very soon we were conversing freely in the kitchen. The meal was great, but I hardly remember it. What I do remember is that the experience of simple preparations drew me into their lives.
Here’s a way to help overcome those self-made (imagined) obstacles. Bring all kinds of people in to share at your table and have them help in preparing the food. There is a place for simply serving others without their co-laboring. But I think some shared preparation opens up several possibilities to help overcome that awkwardness of a first invitation, of not knowing a person well, especially they are not at your exact socio-economic place.
Consider some meals that work well with shared preparation:
Salad – Most people can cut up vegetables (and other toppings). Some can mix herbs, oil and vinegar for homemade dressing. This can be a full meal or just the first course of a meal. We often do this by preparing some steak and/or salmon ahead of time for a chef/steak salad with a side of bread. Homemade pizzas – If you can make a good crust, then great. Otherwise pre-mades are widely available. Have guests cut veggies, mushrooms, sausage, create special sauce (tomato sauce, garlic, olive oil, spices). Serve it in courses starting with a cheese pizza, then a veggie, then a classic italian, then a dessert pizza, etc. Let the guests lead on the selections. Get everyone involved and let everyone choose. Hotpot – This is now my favorite such meal. It is a little like fondue without all the specialized equipment. Hotpot seems to be a pan-Asian meal that varies from region to region. It begins with a broth based soup and is very simple to make. Crock pot a chicken or a duck, strain the fat and bones. Add water and spices. We like ginger and five-spice for a truly Asian taste, but it can be bland to begin. Cook a large bowl of rice and/or rice noodles. Put the pot (on an electric burner) on the table. Let guests cut up veggies, mushrooms, shrimp, scallops, peel eggs (we like quail eggs), thinly sliced beef, tofu, etc. Everyone gets a bowl with rice. The first course is just broth on the rice. Then add an assortment of veggies (guests can select) to the pot and let them cook for a few minutes (keep adding water to it). Serve the second veggie course and notice the change in the broth. For the next course try a different assortment of veggies with mushrooms (in the pot). Then tofu, then seafood, then beef. This meal promotes conversation and a long time at the table. Remarkably, no one left stuffed after about 10 courses!
These kinds of meals provide an opportunity to share in the preparation, as well as show something about the gospel. When we welcome others into the fellowship, we share Christ and build up the Body. Many different ingredients go into the pot, but it becomes one meal. Hospitality within the Body of Christ keeps this in mind. We are not all alike, but we are like Him. We are not the same, but we belong to the same Lord. We are not much separate, but become a mighty army under our one Head, Jesus Christ.
Dr. Gregg Strawbridge is the Pastor of All Saints Church<>
Peter Jones “The young should invite over the old and the old the young. The family with no children should invite the one with five. The lawyer should invite the farmer. The auto mechanic should invite over the doctor. The Hispanic should invite over the Asian. We are the Body of Christ. We are not bound by race, economic status or level of education. We are bound together by the blood of Christ. Reach outside the group you feel most comfortable with.
James 1:19 we’re exhorted to be “quick to hear” and “slow to speak”
Hospitality is a lost art in Christian circles. Despite the priority it has in the Scriptures and the wonderful picture we paint of God as we do it, hospitality is largely ignored by the people of God. Yet it is one of the great privileges, obligations, and joys of every Christian. Christ has invited us to be guests at his table. The Lord, who made heaven and earth, is an excellent host who feeds and cares for this world. (See Psalm 104) As disciples of Christ and subjects of the Kingdom of God we are to imitate Christ by doing the same. Our tables are to be surrounded by guests. We are to wash the feet of the saints, which is a picture of hospitality. We are to entertain strangers. Paul says we are to be given to hospitality. (Romans 12:13) The word “given” means to pursue with all our heart. Hospitality is not something we get to if we can, but it is an essential part of our love for the Church and our witness to the world. Below are a few verses, which provide the Scriptural foundation for hospitality. I would encourage you to “eat these verses.” We begin with what God has done for us in Christ and then move on the specific commands of Scripture. There are many other verses we could add to the list. Matt 22:1-14 Jesus answered and spoke to them again by parables and said: “The kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who arranged a marriage for his son, and sent out his servants to call those who were invited to the wedding; and they were not willing to come. Again, he sent out other servants, saying, ‘Tell those who are invited, “See, I have prepared my dinner; my oxen and fatted cattle are killed, and all things are ready. Come to the wedding.” ‘ But they made light of it and went their ways, one to his own farm, another to his business. And the rest seized his servants, treated them spitefully, and killed them. But when the king heard about it, he was furious. And he sent out his armies, destroyed those murderers, and burned up their city. Then he said to his servants, ‘The wedding is ready, but those who were invited were not worthy. Therefore go into the highways, and as many as you find, invite to the wedding.’ So those servants went out into the highways and gathered together all whom they found, both bad & good. And the wedding hall was filled with guests.
Romans 12:9-13 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality.” ---there’s a common pushback to God’s “given to hospitality” ---I’m an introvert, I can’t handle those situations, they make me nervous, I get anxiety. Ok, since when did anxiety and fear or personality trait relieve us of a Biblical command? I’ll say what my wife always says, “Introverts are commanded to be hospitable, to speak in love, to welcome one another” and “extroverts are commanded to shut the door and pray to the Father in secret” ---if we read the Bible honestly, the reality is God’s commands are continuing calling us to die to personality preferences, or be courageous and face fears or anxiety. We don’t get to say on Judgement Day, “Lord, I just get nervous around people so I didn’t really try to love them well” –extroverts can’t say, “I’m a people person, I have ADHD, I cant sit still and pray or read my Bible, I need to be around people and keep moving & doing stuff” ---the reality is, following Christ always moves us out of our comfort zone. If it never does, you aren’t following Christ, but a version of Jesus that fits your own personality and ideas. But it’s NOT Christianity.
I Peter 4:9 “Be hospitable to one another without grumbling.”
Hebrews 13:2 Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels.
I Timothy 5:9-10 Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number, and not unless she has been the wife of one man, well reported for good works: if she has brought up children, if she has lodged strangers, if she has washed the saints’ feet, if she has relieved the afflicted, if she has diligently followed every good work.
I Timothy 3:2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach.” Elder, (Titus 1:8) “a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate”
To be an elder, a man has to be able to open his life and show kindness to those who believe differently than he does? He has to open up his world to those outside of what he believes and what he senses? Yes. This is serious. It really is. Now why would the Bible be so serious about hospitality? If I could just boil it down to its most simple truth, it’s because God has been hospitable to us (even when we were living as his enemies, God came and saved us. He opened the door and invited us into his presence). We demonstrate that we truly appreciate the divine hospitality we have received as we extend our own hospitality to those around us.
Hospitality is not easy. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it.
Acts 20:18 “You yourselves know how I lived among you…” “…how I did not shrink from declaring to you anything that was profitable, and teaching you in public and from house to house” ---I guess Paul was just an extrovert? No! He tells us why he was giving himself to the saints (in v.24) because… “I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself” I just want to “finish my course & the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.”
Luke 14:12-15 12 He said also to the man who had invited him, “When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return and you be repaid. 13 But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, 14 and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. For you will be repaid at the resurrection of the just.” 15 When one of those who reclined at table with him heard these things, he said to him, “Blessed is everyone who will eat bread in the kingdom of God!” ---If you show hospitality to those who cannot pay you back, but (in order to do this) you absolutely have to mortify that internal bookkeeper that meticulously counts how many times you invited and how many times you have been invited (knowing) “you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous”)
It’s not just how many passages say the word ‘hospitable’? We aren’t just looking for explicit references to hospitality, where it’s commanded. We’re also looking for implicit references to hospitality, for example, “let your light shine before others so they can see your good works and give glory to your father who is in heaven“ — implicitly that’s a passage on hospitality. Especially in a culture so dark that everyone lives in isolation no one goes into each other‘s homes or welcomes others into their life, in our current modern American context hospitality shines the light of Christ brighter than it would in some cultures were hospitality is a type of normal cultural expectation. Do you see?
When we look at the life of Jesus we see a man who lived his life with other believers, aside from times he would go off and pray alone, he was with the people of God all the time.
When we look at the qualifications of an elder, who are to be examples to the flock, because an elder isn’t just a lead like some sort of CEO, elders are called to be “examples to the flock” (that’s what it literally says), and in the qualifications of an elder it says “they are to be hospitable” so God expects them to not just be up at the church building all the time, but to have the people from the church over to their home. And I think the reasoning for that is quite obvious, you could potentially put on a good show at church, in your life be way out of order at home, no man to be very gifted in the pulpit or with leadership skills, but then you go to his home and you realize it’s a mess, his wife doesn’t respect him, his children don’t obey him, and it’s just not a pleasant place to be. That man is no longer qualified as an elder and you would be able to see it first hand if you went into his home, so it’s in the best interest of the church to discern if their pastor is qualified by being in his home. So the men that God has called to be examples to the flock or to be hospitable.
And get the essence of this isn’t some sort of legalistic rule, but I think of even the apostle Paul who was a single man and didn’t have a home, he was able to say to the other elders in Acts 20, “you’ve seen how I lived before you day-to-day, in public and from house to house” …he didn’t just show up at a building for a few hours and preach a sermon, he was in the homes of the people he was sitting in their living rooms at the dinner table, he was eating w/ them & fellowshipping with them, BBQing with them, and interacting with their kids.
When we see the pattern of the early church in the book of Acts (what do we see)? — yes they were devoted to gathering together for public work that is true, but out of that slowed people whose lives were integrated, Acts 2 says, “they were together, breaking bread in their home, receiving their food with glad and generous hearts” … so they’re eating in each other’s homes all through the week, and then obviously they’re able to fill out different financial and material needs in the body and they’re meeting those needs, with generosity.
Hospitality & Meth Addicts
Doug Wilson, “if you have little kids you don’t want to fill up your house with meth addicts” ---I’ve actually shown hospitality to a meth addict in college, a good friend who I knew had a drug problem, but he was wanting to meet for Bible studies and go to church with me so I had him live with me until me and my roomates were having all our stuff stolen, a few years later he wasn’t visiting my house, but I was visiting him in jail, which is now his 20yr home b/c you don’t mess with Meth addicts, and if you don’t invite them in, they will find some way in, like my friend who I read on the news last year, robbed at gun point someone in Milton in their living room. But my point is… common sense wisdom should tell us, meth addicts, other offenders we’d be foolish to have over.
Biblical hospitality(isn’t about the impressive menu or Pinterest-perfect table settings) It’s about making people feel welcome.
Four Ways to Show Hospitality (Matt Chandler)
The God of the universe is serious about hospitality. It can create an entry point for living out the Great Commission and evangelizing our neighbors, especially in the age of unbelief. How do we show hospitality today? It’s not complicated—though that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Here are four ways.
1. Welcome Everyone You Meet
I think the best thing to do is literally greet everyone you see. That’s an easy thing to do if you’re wired like me—I’m a grade-A extrovert. That’s hard if you’re an introvert, and right now you’re thinking, Can we just go to number two, please? But often the best things to do are the hardest things to do.
Pray for grace, ask for strength and, well, greet people.
2. Engage People
Remember that everyone you meet is eternal. You’ve never met a mere mortal, and you have never met someone who doesn’t bear God’s image. So care about and take an interest in those you run across. I don’t think this is overly difficult. We simply need to ask open-ended questions and let our inner curiosity out.
You may think this is all obvious—but so often we hold back from doing it. You need to get to know people, take an interest in them, and listen to them rather than just trying to think about how you can say something memorable or hilarious.
3. Make Dinner a Priority
The Bible, over and over again, talks about the holiness of eating together. Long dinners with good food, good drink, good company, and good conversations that center around our beliefs, hopes, fears—that’s a good dinner. The Bible says that’s holy.
Oh, and I don’t mean dinner with friends. Yes, eat with your church small group, invite over your good friends, but remember that hospitality is to give loving welcome to those outside your normal circle of friends. It’s opening your life and your house to those who believe differently than you do. ***Don’t waste the prayer time, Pray like you mean it, don’t pray flippant prayer.
4. Holidays
Something that we’ve done for many years, he’s capitalize on holidays. So whenever there’s a holiday like Thanksgiving will make a bunch of extra food and invite a bunch of people from the church over and sometimes it’s one or two family sometimes it’s five or six. Or the same with Christmas Eve.
Sometimes we American Christians privatize hospitality in false ways. Hospitality is a church thing. And children are a blessed part of our church. Jesus loves children and so do we. As the church seeks to evangelize the world, the homes of church members become gospel outposts, places where we bring the gospel to the neighborhood. This is very good news for people with young children. It means that the burden is not on you to be different. It means that your unsaved neighbors will benefit from seeing that you also decorate with plastic dinosaurs and LEGOs. And it also means that you do not always have to be in hospitality mode. As Edith Schaeffer said, doors have hinges for a reason.
When inviting unsaved neighbors over, Kent and I always invite our church family, too. The more the merrier, especially in the summer. Your unsaved neighbors will benefit from seeing many different models of the covenant family, including singles (whose church membership renders them a covenant family) and older people. Many Christian hands make the care of little ones easier. Also, with the church family on deck, your children will not feel neglected or isolated as they participate in hospitality. Hospitality means being profoundly unselfish, and small children need help to see the blessing in this.
àCG has built hospitality into the fabric of our church, and our lives, every week. There’s no way we’re letting this new building take that away.
5. Love the Outsider
In every work environment, every neighborhood, there are people who, for whatever reason, are kind of outliers. These men and women are all around you—perhaps more so than ever in our globalized world.
Because of the way sin affects us, we tend to run away from differences and from being around people who think differently and look differently than we do.
We love the outsider because we were the outsider.
But I want to lay this before you: Jesus Christ would have moved toward those people. God extends radical hospitality to me and you. We love the outsider because we were the outsider.
Ex: I’ve done hospitality to a lot of people over the years:
· we’ve had people live with us for over a year, we’ve had people live with us for a few months,
· we’ve had families with kids live with us, we’ve had different singles live with us
When Priscila was in Brazil one time with the kids, I met a homeless man at a restaurant and he came and lived with me for a week slept on our couch and I took him to find work every day. I have obviously wouldn’t do that if I had a family at home.
We’ve had many non-Christians over for dinner, every week for 13yrs we’ve had anywhere from 15 to 50 people in our house City Group. Even when we first got married we had a 500 square-foot apartment, and we were inviting people over and trying to be a blessing to them.
à Write down some stories about Ministry into our neighbors
It All Starts with Courage
the big, flashy acts—the kind of stuff we photograph, slap a filter on, and show our “friends” online—that go most noticed and yet require the least of us. I’m convinced that Christian courage probably looks more like inviting a group of strangers into your home for dinner than the attractive, successful ideas we’ve dreamed up in our minds. These sorts of things actually require courage, because they force us to rely on the Lord and his strength—and not our own. When we open up our homes and build friendships with those who don’t look like us, believe like us, or act like us, we open up our lives and make ourselves vulnerable. We risk getting hurt and making enemies with those who don’t think the way we think or act the way we act. Yet we can do it because of the hope, strength, and courage we get from the Lord.
The Tension of Hospitality –(Excellence or Enjoyment)? –Yes.
I remember early on in our marriage, (we were still learning to host together), I’d be like, “who cares, order Pizza” Priscila’s would be at the store and buy these expensive steaks, (I’d be like) “Why’d you buy that, we cant afford those” and she’d be like, “We need to present our best to our guests” ---(and she genuinely wanted them to be blessed)… which one was right? ---he was more right than me, but we were both right.
· There is some truth in my point, “The house is good enough, it’s not impressive, kinda dirty, but we want to have these people over”
· There’s a time to say, “We need to use the nice plates, vacuum the carpet, buy the expensive steaks”
What does Ecclesiastes say? “there’s a time and season for everything” –for hosting and doing it as nice as you can, and for aiming for fellowship, simplicity, plastic cups, buy some pizzas, we need both. Our church should be doing both. If the only hospitality we have is fine china, and 4 course meals, we’ll never do it. If we only use paper goods, and eat junk food, we might give the impression our guest don’t matter much, and that we’re a sloppy people.
With regularity, I see articles on hospitality that assert some version of this statement: “It’s not about your house or your meal; it’s about the Christ-centered fellowship that takes place at your house over your meal.” For many Christians, hospitality is good, but anything resembling “entertaining” is bad. We disparage well-ironed linens & beautifully arranged flowers.
I can agree with the basic premise of these sentiments: Christians shouldn’t reduce hospitality to Instagram-worthy tableaux. If we’re motivated by a desire to impress others—or to use them for our own social advancement (Luke 14:12)—we sin. God abhors pride (Amos 6:8), sending his Son to die because of it and his Spirit to kill it where it festers in our hearts (Col. 3:5–13). Self-promotion disguised as a dinner invitation is not true hospitality.
Self-promotion disguised as a dinner invitation is not true hospitality.
Hospitality—welcoming others to share our homes and lives—can take place in the space of 5mins with little prior preparation. It can be practiced over McDonald’s coffee or PB&J or no food at all. It can happen in an untidy house or at the neighborhood pool. Whenever we invite someone into our life for the good of her body and soul, we practice hospitality. Hospitality is more than entertaining. But it doesn’t have to be less. In fact, folding linen napkins, making a complicated new recipe, lighting some candles, or queuing a playlist of beautiful music can be acts of love toward the neighbors we welcome.
Entertain with Love
God himself welcomed the first people into a garden containing “every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food” (Gen. 2:9). And throughout Scripture, hosts honor their guests with extraordinarily effort-consuming hospitality. Abraham fed his angelic guests meat that was “tender and good” with cakes made from “fine flour” (Gen. 18:6–7). Jesus rescued the near-disaster at Cana by giving the wedding guests abundant “good wine” (John 2:10). And the consummation of Christ’s kingdom is described in Revelation as a marriage supper—a feast of blessing for every guest (Rev. 19:9).
In The Hidden Art of Homemaking, Edith Schaeffer writes:
Food should be chosen to give pleasure, and to cheer up people after a hard day’s work, to comfort them when they feel down for some reason, to amuse them when things feel a bit dull, or to open up conversation when they feel silent and uncommunicative . . . There is no occasion when meals should become totally unimportant. Carefully chosen food, lovingly prepared & beautifully presented, demonstrates honor toward our guests. It’s an act of self-sacrificing love—serving the needs and desires of others at cost to ourselves.
Schaeffer goes on to tell the story of a homeless man who stopped by her house one day asking for a cup of coffee and some bread. Rather than simply giving him the bare essentials he requested, Schaeffer went inside and prepared soup and two different kinds of sandwiches, which she cut into triangles and arranged on her best china plate. She brought this food out to the waiting man with a copy of the Gospel of John and a bouquet of flowers entwined with ivy on a tray.When her children questioned her efforts to make such a beautiful and tasty presentation for a transient man who’d only requested a crust of bread, Schaeffer replied, “Who knows, perhaps he’ll do a lot of thinking and someday, believe. Anyway, he may realize that we care something about him as a person, and that’s important.” These days, I finally have my oven settings figured out, and the food is usually ready on schedule after church. When I’m able—admittedly not the case in every season of life—I iron the damask napkins from my husband’s grandmother and stack the plates from our wedding registry, and then I serve the men and women and children who join me around the table. It’s not perfect—not even close. But I do hope each guest realizes I care about him or her as a person. And I think that’s important.
1 Timothy 5:3-10, I could see that hospitality is not only required of elders, it is required of the older women in a church who are called to set an example for younger women.
Finally, I turned to 1 Peter 4:7-11, where Peter utters these startling words, “The end of all things is near.” It’s a statement that begs the question, “If the end is coming, what are we to do?” Peter’s answer is straight forward: “Above all, love each other deeply.” Then he says to do this in two ways: First, everyone should “show hospitality to one another without grumbling.” Second, everyone should “use whatever gift he has received to serve others.” We do these things, moreover, “so that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ” (esv).
Once more, the flow of the argument is worth meditating on. If someone were to say to me, “The world is ending very soon. What are you going to do?” I’m not confident that the first words out of my mouth would be, “Offer hospitality.” By the same token, if someone said to me, “How will God glorify himself through Christ?” I am not sure that “the hospitality of God’s people” would make my list.
So here I was, tasked with giving a three minute devotion on hospitality, but finding myself overwhelmed not by the number of times the word is used, but by the contexts in which it is located: Romans 12 and the basics of the Christian life; 1 Timothy and a necessary attribute of church leaders, male and female; 1 Peter 4 and how to prepare for the end times. Amazing. My word search prompted me to ask, why is hospitality so important in Scripture? To answer that, I had to dig a little deeper. More than a word search, I needed a biblical theology of hospitality.[2]
OLD TESTAMENT
In the Old Testament, hospitality is closely connected with a recognition of God’s lordship and covenant loyalty. In Genesis 18, Abraham entertains three guests, one of whom is the Lord. And the Lord promises Abraham a son. So hospitality is often associated with promise and blessing.
In Genesis 19, Lot protects his two guests from the townsmen who surround the house and make threats. Here, hospitality is associated with protection. Similarly, Rahab offers protection and lodging to Israelite spies in Joshua 2, demonstrating her loyalty to Israel’s God. Abigail provides hospitality to David and his men in 1 Samuel 25. The widow of Zerephath provides hospitality for Elijah when facing starvation herself in 1 Kings 17, prompting God to provide for her.
Again and again, acts of hospitality or inhospitality reveal the good or evil of a person or a community (Gen. 19, Judg. 19, 1 Sam. 25). Incidentally, the same is true in the New Testament. Hospitality is a characteristic of those who live as God intends. Think about which parable of Jesus’ uses hospitality to indicate who fulfills the command to love and who does not: the parable of the good Samaritan.
But hospitality has a larger place in the Old Testament than just these individual examples….
Consider Abraham of Ur called out of the homeland of his fathers in order to travel to a foreign land that God has promised (Gen. 12:1-3).
Consider Joseph sold by his brothers into slavery in Egypt.
Consider the Israelites, who become so numerous the Egyptians treated these “foreigners” as slaves.
Consider Moses leading these strangers, these aliens, through the wilderness for forty years, forced to live on God’s miraculous provision of quail and manna.
Consider Judah’s exile in Babylon.
Consider Daniel opening the windows of his room toward Jerusalem as he prayed, a holy man in a strange land.
In short, Israel’s identity was continually formed and reformed through the experience of being a stranger and a sojourner, stuck in a temporary place, never quite at home, vulnerable to others, and always having to live according to God’s provision. Does this sound familiar? Like the Christian life perhaps? I’ll discuss this more in a moment. But again and again, God demonstrated he would provide everything the nation needed to survive. So Israel’s status as sojourners and aliens functioned as both a reminder of their ultimate dependence on God and therefore as a basis for their gratitude, obedience, and hope in him.
Their experience of being foreigners was also essential in helping them understand the needs of strangers in their midst. They received the hospitality of God, which in turn taught them to turn and offer that same hospitality to others. Hence, Israel was the only ancient Near Eastern country with laws protecting the stranger and alien (Ex. 23:9, Deut. 10:19). Judges were commanded to deal impartially between aliens and Israelites (Dt. 1:16, 24L17). Cities of refuge were open to aliens and native-borns alike (Num. 35:15; Josh. 20:9). Sojourners were often classed with widows, orphans, and the poor as deserving the community’s provision and just treatment (Ex. 22:21-24, Dt. 24:17-18).
In these laws, we see something of God’s own heart. We might ask ourselves whether our hearts are like God’s. Do we have compassion for the outsider and alien, for the new and unadjusted?
NEW TESTAMENT
When we move to the New Testament, the importance of hospitality becomes even more prominent, and we see it in at least five specific areas.
1. The Incarnation
First, the idea of Christian hospitality is inextricably linked to the doctrine of the incarnation. God himself, in the person of Jesus Christ, became a guest or stranger in the world. When God became man in Christ, he entered humanity as an alien or a stranger. He then lived his life in such a way that he was always dependent on the hospitality of others. Jesus experienced the vulnerability and rejection of a stranger.
Luke 2:7: “They wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for him in the inn.”
Luke 9:58: “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.”
As he and his disciples traveled through Judea and Samaria, they were dependent on the hospitality of others (Matt. 10:11ff; Luke 10:5ff). (So too with the apostles: cf. Acts 10:6, 18, 32, 48; 16:15, 34; 17:7; 18:2f, etc.)
2. Love for Christ
On a related note, practicing hospitality, especially toward Christians, is one way a Christian shows love to Christ himself. Consider Matthew 25.31-46, where Jesus explicitly identifies himself as “stranger” (xenos). Jesus divides the sheep from the goats, and he says to the sheep, “I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger, and you welcomed me…Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.” But to the goats, he says the opposite. Hospitality toward fellow saints, even “the least of these my brothers,” is a demonstration of love toward him. Those who welcome fellow saints and meet their needs when they are in distress have welcomed and ministered to Christ himself.
3. God’s Grace in Salvation
Third, the idea of Christian hospitality is inextricably linked to God’s grace in salvation. Consider Jesus’ own practice of welcoming the lost and eating with people who ordinarily would have been excluded from fellowship. Not only that, Jesus’ teaching on hospitality is distinctive in its emphasis on welcoming those who have nothing to give in return.
Luke 14:12-14: “He said also to the man who had invited him, ‘When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you in return and you be repaid. But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you. You will be repaid at the resurrection of the just.’”
Rather than inviting those who can repay, Jesus said we should invite the poor, the needy, and those generally unable to repay us. After all, God is gracious to welcome miserable beggars to the feast in his kingdom. The prophet Isaiah describes the work of the suffering servant in chapter 53, and then he extends an invitation in chapter 55 to everyone who wishes to enjoy the fruits of the suffering servant’s work: “Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price” (Is. 55:1).
By practicing hospitality, especially among non-Christians, we demonstrate the very character of the God who has invited deeply-indebted sinners to the eternal feast of salvation. In that sense, we provide a living picture of the gospel. No, it is not the gospel. It is a small picture that both points toward, and draws the heart of the recipient toward, the gospel of God’s un-repayable work of salvation for us in Christ. Hospitality communicates, and entices non-Christians and weaker Christians toward the gospel! And doing this should be understood as a basic of the Christian life.
4. The Unity of the Saints
Fourth, hospitality can reveal the unity of those who belong to the kingdom of God, specifically in the context of shared meals. For instance, the disciples on the road to Emmaus recognized Jesus for who he was when Jesus assumed the role of host and broke bread. The clearest example of this, however, occurs in John’s epistles. On the one hand, John commends Gaius for taking in “these brothers, strangers [xenos] as they are” (3 John 5). On the other hand, he commands a church to refuse hospitality to false teachers (2 John 10; cf. 1 Cor. 5:11).
I don’t know that we can say that the incident Paul recounts in Galatians 2, where he opposes Peter “to his face” for refusing to eat with the uncircumcised group, pertains to hospitality, as such. Yet Peter’s temporary unwillingness to share a meal with the Gentiles was the outward picture of a deep problem. Peter was implicitly adding circumcision to faith as the means of justification, dividing the body. Again, the refusal to share a meal pictured this. Applying this to the question of hospitality, then, it’s worth asking whether there is any Christian—in your church or not—with whom you would not eat? If so, are you sure you understand the unity that Christians share in the gospel? It’s not difficult to understand why Paul intends for elders in the church and older women to be marked by hospitality.
I have heard some Christians propose that hospitality can only be given to outsiders or strangers, that is, those who are literally from outside a local church’s fellowship. Some go further and say that it can only be given to non-Christians. I don’t see the New Testament drawing either of these lines.[2] In fact, I tend to agree with those who say the preponderance of occurrences of hospitality in the New Testament occurs toward other Christians.[3] And at least one passage strongly suggests it can occur between one church member and another (1 Peter 4:9). Ultimately, however, I think that drawing these sorts of lines misses the point. The kingdom emphases of the New Testament writers seem largely to fall on the wonders of post-Pentecost, new covenant realities, where Jews would eat with Gentiles, Greeks with barbarians, owners with slaves, poor with rich, and so on.
That’s why the picture of the early church gathering and sharing with one another “as any had need” is so striking (Acts 2:45). That’s why the apostles took very seriously the trouble that arose over a distribution of food between the Grecian Jews and the Hebraic Jews (Acts 6:1). That’s why Paul could urge Philemon to take Onesimus the slave back as a “beloved brother” (Philem. 16). The various class, racial, economic, ethnic, and gender categories human beings use to separate themselves from one another—the lines which make human beings “strange” to one another—were erased by the person and work of Jesus Christ, as given expression in the inaugurated reversal of Babel at Pentecost. The giving of hospitality between Christians, whether members of the same church or not, present one opportunity to paint the picture of the unity Christians have in the gospel. At the same time, the gracious picture of salvation Christians present by giving hospitality to non-Christians.
5. The Church’s Alien Status
Fifth, just as the incarnate Christ was a stranger, and just as the Old Testament Israelites were continually displaced from their lands, hospitality reminds those who are joined to Christ that we too are strangers and aliens. Peter writes his first letter “To God’s elect, strangers in the world, scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia and Bithynia” (1:1). Living by faith in the care of our fellow saints helps us from becoming too tied to this world and its goods. Living by the grace and hospitality of others reminds us that everything we have is a gift from above, which is why Peter’s command for Christians to show hospitality to one another ties together with a reminder that the end of all things is near.
So let’s return to my original quandary: Why is hospitality (1) a virtue Paul says is central to Christianity, (2) a qualification for elders of the church and older women, and (3) a practice to be cultivated as the end approaches?
Answer: With hospitality, we proclaim to the world the incarnation of Christ, God’s grace in salvation, the unity of the church, and a Christian’s participation in the life of Christ. And to Christ himself we say, “I love you, because you have identified yourself with the least of these brothers.” We must preach the words of Christ’s gospel, otherwise we draw attention and glory only to ourselves. But we must also preach with our lives so that those both inside and outside the church see that the power of God for salvation begins today, as Christ’s people begin to image him from one degree of glory to the next.
1. BDAG defines philoxenia has “hospitality,” which surely includes care for strangers, but is not restricted to strangers.
2. Tremendously helpful is the entry on “Hospitality” by C. D. Pohl in The New Dictionary of Biblical Theology (IVP), ed. T. Brian Rosner et al (561-63). Much of my comments in the OT and NT follow the storyline Pohl lays out. Also helpful is Gustav Stahlin’s entry for xenos in the Theological Dictionary of the New Testament, vol. 5, ed. Gerhard Kittel et al (1-36).
3. Stahlin, TDNT¸ 21.
MOVING FORWARD
How can you (and I) grow in being a gospel neighbor for the glory of God? Here are ten imperatives I pray God uses to move us in the right direction.
1. Name the people God has placed near you. This goes back to the “chart of shame” mentioned in the Art of Neighboring. Give yourself a few weeks or even months, but do all you can to figure out who is around you.
2. Start praying for your neighbors by name. Be like that persistent widow in Luke 18. Plead with God to open doors (Cor. 16:9). He can do this.
3. Strategize ways to welcome them into your life. The book, The Simplest Way to Change the World: Biblical Hospitality as a Way of Life, is full of practical and easy ways you can open up your home to your neighbors. It’s a good read. It’s going to take some work to figure out if you need to spend more time going to block parties or simply open up your home once a quarter for a cookout. You may already have relationships with neighbors you can pursue. Is it time to see who’s interested in reading the Bible with you?
4. Welcome neighbors into your life. At least for me, the hardest part is not strategizing how to have neighbors over, it’s actually doing it. For some of you, this is very easy. But for many of us, it’s hard. This may be due to a lack of time, energy, or courage. You’ll need all three!
5. Love them for who they are. Again, in order to be a gospel neighbor evangelism shouldn’t be your only goal. Enjoy getting to know your neighbors. Ask them questions. Find ways to serve and spend time together. They are magnificent image bearers. You don’t know their future, so try to love them where they are.
6. Be consistent. We want to aim for gospel neighboring until the Lord returns. Let’s commit to neighboring for the long haul. That may require setting fairly modest hospitality goals. Better to a little over a long period of time then overextend yourself for a month.
7. Find accountability. Do you have a Christian brother or sister who challenges you to read your Bible and pray faithfully? Consider asking him or her to encourage you in the discipline of hospitality as well.
8. Share what you love the most. If you are a Christian, you love Christ the most. Period. How you get to the gospel with your neighbors takes wisdom. Again, you don’t want them to feel like a project. But you don’t want to be silent too long, either. Willis and Clements are helpfully honest: “Yes, as you take the bold step of speaking the good news, you may feel nervous and reluctant for fear that you will be rejected, but understand the gospel you have is so attractive to the hurting who live right next door to you.”[vii] So true.
9. Keep first things first. We all know someone who focuses so much on discipleship he neglects evangelism. This is not good. But let’s not forget the full command of Paul in Galatians 6:10, “So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.” Paul prioritized the local church. This is surely because he remembered Christ’s words, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35). Being a faithful next-door neighbor starts with being a faithful church member.
10. Rest. Do you remember Andrew, the young man who opened up his apartment to literally dozens of friends? We aren’t all like Andrew. For him it seemed to come naturally. Thankfully, our hope isn’t in being like Andrew. Our confidence is in God who made each of us just the way he wanted us to be. Our success in gospel neighboring, therefore, doesn’t depend on our charm, ability to throw a party, or even our stick-to-itiveness. It comes from the power of the Spirit of God exalts the Son of God known for the sake of the glory of God. Because of this, even as we work hard at being a gospel neighbor, we can rest.