Sermon Tone Analysis

Wives Who Are Like the Church

I’ve been recently watching episodes of “Leave It to Beaver.”

It is quite a picture of what was considered to be the exemplary family in 1957 (1st season).

Ward & June are the parents—both highly educated, hard workers (Ward at an office, June at home).

June keeps the house in “perfect” condition, always tidy, supper is always on time, she is always dressed attractively and is a loving matriarch.

Of course, Wally & the Beaver typically find themselves in a predicament that requires a moral lesson usually from dad.

I imagine most people watched those episodes back then wishing they had this ideal family life.

In a Housekeeping magazine from 1955: READ EXCERPT

Now there is no conclusive proof that article ever existed (may have been a hoax) but along with TV shows you have a pretty clear understanding of 1950s Americana.

That’s the ideal family (AKA the Traditional Family) and the should be the typical housewife.

The traditional family is gone.

Not necessarily a bad thing.

Erma Bombeck Motherhood: the 2nd oldest profession—in a chapter entitled “Donna, Harriet, Barbara, Shirley, Marjorie, Jan and Florence” (Donna Reed, Ozzie & Harriet, Leave it…, Father knows best)...

“For two decades during the 50s and 60s they were the role models for every mother in the country.

They looked better cleaning their houses than most of us looked at our weddings.

They never lost their temper, gained weight, spent more money than their husbands made, or gave viewers any reason not to believe that they were living their lives in celibacy.

It was the age of God, Motherhood, flag and apple pie.

All you had to do to be a mother was to put on an apron.

No one did it better than these prime-time mothers.

It was the not-ready-for-primetime mothers who questioned it in the late 60s.

They questioned the long days.

The lack of fringe benefits.

The run and fetch syndrome.

The question “What kind of day did you have?” and the answer that fell on deaf ears.

It started out as a ripple of discontent, gathering momentum through the 70s.

By the 80s the dissidents were a force to be dealt with.

Whatever happened to the insulin 7: Donna Barbara Shirley Harriet Marjorie Jane and Florence?

They disappeared beneath the tidal wave of reality.”

Now fast-forward 66 years—the picture of the Modern Family Persona (read account—maybe fictional but not uncommon).

This is what life, marriage and family is like in a sin-cursed world.

Almost, without exception, when serious problems are encountered in marriage it is usually b/c there has been a major husband/wife role failure—Something Jay Adams says—when roles get thrown up into the air they come down as a tossed salad.

This trouble began in the Garden of Eden as Adam and Eve reversed their God-designed roles.

And the consequences were catastrophic and are felt today.

Today, more than ever, there are many unhappy and discontent husbands/fathers and wives/mothers, not b/c they cannot find happiness and contentment but b/c they have never known or understood God’s plan for marriage/family.

Paul’s instruction is intended to bring husbands and wives back to God’s plan, purpose for marriage.

And his instruction, though does not guarantee a problem-free marriage, it will produce happiness and fulfillment (which is always the case) b/c following God’s way is always the best way.

This morning the focus will be put on women/wives…that’s where Paul begins: Eph 5:22

Repetition shows urgency:

Now, this command immediately receives fierce resistance by the world today.

But I want you to know that Scripture places infinite value, worth, dignity upon women.

What is commonly the manifestation of the sin nature—women are degraded, held in very low esteem, treated without respect and with little to no regard.

Paul had a very high view of women, recognizing the greatness of God’s purpose in creating both male and female—both with gender distinctiveness and bringing them together to forge the marital union that would enable them to fulfill God’s purpose in His creation.

Far from being disrespected—Scripture places ultimate value on a woman so she can be everything that God has designed her to be, Paul’s teaching however is being rejected by the world b/c it is 180 degrees from how the world thinks the woman should be elevated.

When a woman occupies the role God has given her in marriage, she will have exceeding joy.

But that is not how the world looks on the Bible’s teaching to women…rejected b/c:

This happens for a couple of reasons:

Sinful rebellion in all human hearts to authority

Knowing the catastrophe of original sin and the propensity of the human heart to rebel against all authority, God has providentially and graciously placed each of us under authority—in several ways: to government (Rom 13:1), to parents (Eph 6:1), in the workplace (Eph 6:5; Col 3:22-25), in the church (for Xns Heb 13:17).

God has placed authority over us to keep the rebellious heart in check—It is for our good, and the good of humanity as a whole.

(causes for resistance) Misunderstanding what headship of husband and submission of wives means.

It tends to be viewed as the wife does all the dirty work, if she submits she is doomed to a life of misery, and that ultimate fulfillment is found in doing whatever you want to do.

God’s Word does define what marriage should look like, and emphasizes the specific role husbands and wives have in that God-instituted relationship.

I want to be clear this morning about 1 thing: we’ll talk a great deal about submission today, but this is not the wife’s role.

A role explains the place a person has in that relationship (the position or purpose that a person has) and the biblical roles express a complementarian reality b/t husband and wife.

They stand as equals before Christ (Gal 3:28) but by God’s perfect design, there are differences in their respective roles.

Submission is not the wife’s role but her joyful response to her husband’s role of loving, servant leadership (we’ll look at next time).

Let me point out 2 specific roles of wives who are like the church laid forth in Scripture:

1) She Is an Honorer (Eph 5:22-24, 33)

Notice vs 33 “respect” is Gk phobeo (phobia) “to fear”.

Paul is not saying wives should be terrified or frightened by the husbands.

But “respect” may be too mild of a term.

All believers are called to “fear Christ” (Eph 5:21).

This means to have reverence, awe, the intent to honor—applied also to the wife toward her husband.

It means that she will hold her husband in the highest esteem.

She will revere him (not revamp him—not the HS).

Now the way honor is expressed toward her husband is thru loving, joyful submission.

Since there is confusion and wrong perceptions regarding submission (the S word), let me point out what submission is and what it is not.

A. What Submission is Not

Putting husband in place of Christ

The husband is not to become an “idol”

Sarah should have said “no”

If a husband asks his wife to disobey God, she must obey God above all.

Giving up independent thought and becoming intellectually stagnant

Proverbs 1:8 (NASB95)

do not forsake your mother’s teaching;

Judges 13:21-23 (the reasoning of Manoah’s wife regarding the Angel of the Lord)

Giving up all efforts to influence her husband

Resources to influence your husband:

Armor of God (Eph 6:10-18); Prayer; godly friends (Pro 27:5-6 “Better is open rebuke Than love that is concealed.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.”

); quietness, purity, fear of God (1 Pt 3:1-2); overcome evil with good (Rom 12:17-21); Providing a soft answer (Pro 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.”;

Pro 25:15 “By forbearance a ruler may be persuaded, And a soft tongue breaks the bone.”);

speaking the truth in love (Eph 4:15); reproving him (Mt 18:16); patience (Pro 15:18); sweetness of speech (Pro 16:21 “The wise in heart will be called understanding, And sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.”)

Not giving in to every demand

A wife should refuse submission where there is sin (forbids to go to church, forbids talking to children about the Lord, asking her to commit immorality, asking her to lie or cheat, forbidding her to reprove him when he sins, asking her to violate her conscience).

Letting her gifts lie dormant

Doing nothing to protect herself from an unreasonable husband

Church leaders should be ready to intervene and give counsel to the wife in a difficult situation (church discipline may become necessary).

The government is also a resource for the wife needing protection since it exists for the punishment of evildoers.

Calling the police when she is in danger from her husband is not a violation of submission.

Not based on worthiness of husband

Paul’s instruction is not “submit when your husband deserves it...”

He is not infallible…in fact, he will fail many times.

B. What Submission Is

Defining the biblical word

“submission” is a Gk compound word hupo=under; tasso=to place, order, command, station; to place under, to be under command; to be subject to [another].”

The word denotes a relationship of submission to authority—a military term “to rank under” an officer.

Notice those in Scripture who submit:

Jesus to His parents

citizens to government