Acts 15

Introduction

      At the conference last month, considerable debate was focused on the issue of women in ministry. As the debate unfolded, it became clear that there was not consensus on the issue. The leadership of the conference tried to be conciliatory and succeeded to a degree, but there is no question that on this issue, we have a conflict in the congregation.

      Last weekend, I spoke with a pastor of a church from another conference. In their church, they have experienced a conflict because of the issue of music and worship. They are by no means the first or the last church to have conflict because of this issue.

      I am also aware that there are times in our personal life when we have conflict with others in the community, the church or even the family.

      The last several times that I have preached, I have spoken on what it means to love as believers. As Christians who have experienced the love of Jesus, we are invited to love others in the way that Christ has loved us. Such a love is unique in a world that does not always love and certainly does not love in the way Christ has taught us to love.

      But we must also be honest, we do not alway love in that way either. Sometimes, we enter into conflict or we break relationship. Where is the love of Christ when we have conflict in our lives? How do we deal with conflict in a Christlike way?

      The Bible encourages us to live at peace. Romans 12:18 says, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." What does that mean? How do we live at peace and in Christlike love when we know that sooner or later we will have conflict in our lives?

I.                   Conflict is A Part Of Life

A.                 Normal

      Conflict is a part of life. From the beginning of history, there have been dissensions. The Bible contains a record of many conflicts. In Genesis 3 we have the conflict between God and Adam and Eve. In Genesis 4 we have the conflict between Cain and Abel. And so it goes, right to the end of time when the conflict between the kingdom of God and the kingdom of Satan will finally be resolved.

      There was even conflict in the early church. Acts 15 contains two incidents of conflict. In the first part, we read about the contention which arose between the Gentile believers and the Jewish believers. Then later in the chapter, we read about disharmony between Paul and Barnabas. In both of these stories we read that there was a sharp dispute. A different word is used, but the idea is the same in both verse 2 and verse 39; they were fighting, there was conflict.

      It happens at home in our day as well. A newly married couple may begin with ideals about never having conflict in their relationship, but it does not take long before they have their first argument. Parents may begin with ideals about a perfect family, but as soon as the toddler learns the word "no" the fight is on.

      So to assume that we will never have conflict is not realistic. Whether it is in our family life or in community, conflict will arise.

B.                 Not Sin

      Does that mean that we will never completely fulfill Christ's mandate to love? Does it mean that we are not loving when we have a conflict? Does that mean that we have left obedience when we don't agree?

      Our normal assumption often is that when we disagree with someone, or have some kind of a conflict with them, that this is wrong and we shouldn't do it. We live by the assumption that Christians should not disagree. But conflict is not necessarily sin. Conflict simply means that two people are thinking. Some might say that if there is no conflict, someone is not thinking. We have all been created differently and all have different ways of looking at things. It is inevitable that opinions should collide. Someone has said, "Conflict is a normal part of life's diet...when healthy, conflict keeps us creative and helps us grow." I have been a part of committees in which there has been direct confrontation and sharp disagreement, but I have not felt that anything was wrong, I have simply felt that we were working towards a solution.

      It is important to understand this. If we believe that conflict is wrong, we will avoid it at all costs. When that happens, the conflict does not go away, it is simply internalized.

C.                 When Do We Sin  

      Conflict is not necessarily wrong, but of course, that does not mean that we cannot sin in conflict. Conflict is not sin, but our actions in conflict may be sin. When do we begin to sin in conflict?

1.When We Break Relationship

      We will look shortly at Acts 15 as a model for conflict resolution. In the end of the chapter, we have the story of a conflict between Paul and Barnabas. The story ends with Paul and Barnabas parting. Now our assumption might be that it was wrong for them to fight and to separate from each other. But notice what happened later. Paul continued to work with and to respect both Barnabas and Mark. He writes in II Timothy 4:11, "...Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry. Then about Barnabas he writes some time later in I Corinthians 9:6, "Or is it only I and Barnabas who must work for a living?"

      They had a conflict-that was not sin. They separated-that was not sin, it was a strategy. They did not break fellowship-thus avoiding the point at which sin would have entered in.

      We sin in conflict when we break fellowship with another person.

2.When We Hate

      Clarence Darrow, a famous criminal lawyer, once said,

"Everyone is a potential murderer.  I have not killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction out of obituary notices."

      We sin when we come to hate others because of our conflict.

      The Bible is very clear on this.

      I John 2:9 Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness.

      I John 2:11 But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him.

      I John 3:15 Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him.

      I John 4:20 If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.

      Conflict is not sin, but the way we handle conflict by breaking relationship or hating is sin.

II.               Resolving Conflict

      If we want to avoid sin and if we want to love as Christ loved us, we will have to learn to handle our conflicts. To fail to do so is to fail to walk as Christ would have us walk.

      Despite our best efforts, there are times when we will come into sharp disagreement with someone else. What can we do to resolve conflicts so that we do not sin? Let us look at Acts 15 as a model for conflict resolution. We will not be able to read it all, but will highlight those parts which will help us form a plan for conflict resolution.

      Just to get into the story, let us examine what happened and what brought about the conflict.

      The gospel came first of all to the Jews. For millenia, they had been God's chosen people and God had communicated his way to them. They saw themselves as God's chosen people and sought to live apart from those who were not God's people in order that they would remain separated unto God. When Jesus came, he came to the Jews and after his death, resurrection and the coming of the Holy Spirit, the gospel went out to the Jews first. But God's intention had never been that the gospel should be only for the Jews and so before long it was also proclaimed to the Gentiles. A church of mainly Gentiles, led by Paul and Barnabas grew in Antioch.

      Jewish believers from the church in Jerusalem came to visit the church in Antioch and were alarmed at the low standards being kept there. The people of this church were not observing the whole law of Moses. How could they ignore what God had communicated for so many years to his people? They felt that in order for a person to come to God, that person had to become a Jewish Christian.  And so we read that a sharp dispute grew up between them. How could God's people love each other from other sides of the fence? How would this conflict be resolved?  

      The account indicates that it was resolved. What did they do to resolve it and avoid sin?

A.                 Coming Together

      The first step was that the two conflicting sides were brought together. We read in verse 2, "... Paul and Barnabas were appointed, along with some other believers, to go up to Jerusalem to see the apostles and elders about this question." The two parties in the dispute did not start another church or denomination. They cared about resolving and decided to come together to do just that.

      Unless people are willing to come together, the dispute will not be resolved.

      People use a variety of ways to handle conflict.

      |                   :

 r    |    accomodate     :   collaborate 
 e    |    "teddy bear"   :      "owl"
 l    |                   :
 a    |              compromise
 t    |.............   "fox"   ...............
 i    |                   :
 o    |    avoid          :      compete
 n    |   "turtle"        :      "shark"
 s    |                   :
 h    |___________________:____________________

 i

 p                    task

      The most productive is coming together to collaborate in order to create a win-win situation.

      Often, after a few attempts, we give up on other people, we stop talking to them and we may even ignore them. At this point we sin, we have broken fellowship. The only way to resolve conflicts is to come together with them so that we can resolve the conflict.

B.                 Listening

      The next thing we notice is that both sides were given time to present their concerns. In verse 4, Paul presented the message of freedom and of the gospel to the Gentiles. In verse 5, the "circumcision party" presented its concerns. Listening helped them recognize that there were two issues. One was the issue of how one comes into relationship with God. The other was that some of the practices of the Gentile believers made it impossible for Jewish believers to associate with them because they would feel as if they had been defiled.

      If a conflict is to be resolved, there must be careful listening to both sides. This is where conflict resolution most often breaks down. We are so intent on making sure that  our point of view is heard that we do not listen to the other point of view. Often, especially if the conflict has gone on for a long time, a mediator may be necessary to help people listen to each other. MCC operates an organization called Mediation Services which helps people come together to listen.  For conflicts that are old or difficult, I would recommend such a service. Myopia is a disease which takes away peripheral vision. Someone has said, "the longer a conflict has gone on, the more myopic people become."  They become less and less able to see the other point of view.

      Listening should bring out the causes of the dispute, the feelings of each party. It should seek to discern areas of agreement and also areas of disagreement. Once these areas have been identified it is helpful to reinforce areas of agreement and then negotiate on areas of disagreement.

      Most people are not evil, they desire peace. When listening happens, then feelings and concerns can be heard and there can be movement towards resolution.

C.                 Agreeing On a Solution

      After a time of listening, we note that they began to move towards a solution.

      First of all, they sought God's will on the matter. The discernment process included an observation of what God had done and also an evaluation of scripture. 

      The issue was resolved by separating between the two issues and dealing with them individually. They reaffirmed that salvation is on the basis of faith and not works of any kind, not even circumcision. They also recognized that breaking fellowship was wrong and that therefore the Gentiles should be sensitive to the concerns of the Jews which could break fellowship. Thus the resolution became a win-win solution. It may not always be possible to create a win-win situation, but often it is. A win-win situation will result in better relationships and a much more solid resolution.

      Next they formulated a response in the form of a letter which expressed their agreement. A written agreement about how the problem will be solved helps both parties make a clear statement about how to proceed.

      I always have liked the statement in verse 28, "It seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us..."  God helped them make peace as they worked at it.

D.                Acting On The Solution

      Once agreement has been made it must be acted on.     A letter was written to communicate the resolution and some men were sent to communicate the solution. We read in Acts 15:22, "Then the apostles and elders, with the whole church, decided to choose some of their own men and send them to Antioch with Paul and Barnabas. They chose Judas (called Barsabbas) and Silas, two men who were leaders among the brothers."

E.                 Celebrating

      Another part of acting on the resolution was to celebrate that conflict had not broken fellowship. We read in verse 31, "The people read it and were glad for its encouraging message."

Conclusion

      Conflict is inevitable. It is not sin in itself, but often we allow it to become sin when we come to hate and put down and break fellowship with those whom we are in conflict.

      In order to love as Christ loved us, we need to learn to deal with conflict in a way that builds up and that keeps us loving each other.

      This is what it means to love as Christ loved. This is what it means to be a disciple of Jesus.