Adulting is Hard
Notes
Transcript
Adulting is Hard
Adulting is Hard
Being an adult is hard work. We get ourselves into situations where we have to figure things out and get them fixed.
Learning how can be hard.
Watching our kids continue to grow into adulthood is both rewarding and painful.
I’ll get a call, Dad, my car won’t start. What do I do?
I’m no mechanic. But I learned the importance of a AAA membership, or some other road hazard insurance plan.
If you turn the key and nothing happens, or it only clicks, then the battery is dead. Call AAA and they will come and change it.
Flat tires, tows, we’ve used it several times.
Your car never dies at a convenient time. Alyssa had a flat tire on I-40 once near Twin Arrows.
Single woman. Flat tire. By herself. I told her to call AAA. I immediately got in my car and beat the tow truck. Changed her tire. I was stressed. She was stressed.
But now that she’s been thru it. she knows she can handle it. Spending the money on the membership is now worth it to her.
Jared was driving thru Indianapolis, ran over something, on the interstate, in the city, traffic He cut a tire and his fuel line.
Stressful. But he was prepared b/c he had the membership.
This is not a commercial about AAA. But a message about being prepared.
Our other son, in AR called me. They thought their car was dead. Gone. It’s got a lot of miles on it.
I have been the worlds worst negotiator. I’ve had to learn a few things along the way.
I talked him thru what to do about buying something used to replace it. It worked out that his car engine was under a recall and they replaced it.
Now he’s more prepared so next time won’t be so stressful.
How did I learn anything about this stuff? The hard way.
1985. Sara and I were married a year, no kids. We drove from Dallas to Taos to meet her parents to go skiing. We had a brand new Subaru.
The day before we were to drive back, it wouldn’t start.
Not the battery.
That was a time when nobody knew about or worked fuel injection engines. No mechanic in Taos had a clue about fuel injection.
Sara’s parents were AAA members. On their membership, we had it towed to Albuquerque to dealership to get it fixed.
She flew home b/c she had to get to work I drove the car home over the next night. Got into bed about the time Sara’s alarm was going off for her to get up and go to work.
That was a stressful few days. Her parents helped us. How did they learn this stuff? The hard way.
They helped us. I’ve helped my kids. We’ve been thru it so next it should be less stressful.
When you’re an adult. Things break. Air conditioners, furnaces, water pipes, appliances. Never at convenient times.
You can get warrantees for these things. That helps ease the pain of the repair. But you still have to go thru it, and pay for it.
Other things break, too.
You stand at the altar and make that commitment when you’re in your 20s. A promise to remain faithful.
For many, somewhere along the way, the relationship breaks. Are you ready to deal w/ the stress? Maybe yours. Or someone close to you.
Or, you have a teenager, or adult child, who jumps off the deep end. Are you ready? Were you ready?
Or, your own issues. An accidental addiction. An unwanted diagnosis. Maybe some choices you made led to it, maybe it just happened to you.
When I was in college, I would be home for a break and for something to do I could walk out the front door and run 4 miles. No warm up, build up, just go.
In Wichita it’s easy to measure. The roads are an even grid. A stoplight every mile. Light, to light, to light, to light. Just go till you count 4 lights.
Today, I am not ready. I could run 4 blocks if my life depended on it. I am not prepared to run that far any more.
How do we get ready for the big stressors, big painful workouts, that inevitably come along in adulthood?
In most of these situations there is a spiritual element.
Peace vs anxiety
Self-control vs bad choices
Patience vs rash actions
Knowing right from wrong, good from bad. God question.
The best time to prepare for stressors like this is not while you’re in it. Better late than never. But how about being prepared in advance?
In many cases, they catch us by surprise. We think we’re managing everything perfectly, then something breaks.
Maybe we get a little fat and lazy. We just came thru the holiday season and nothing fits like it did before, we’re not sleeping as good as we did before, we feel sluggish and lethargic.
A burst of energy might explode something.
We do the same thing spiritually. We get a little fat and lazy. Spiritual lethargy sets in. We all get there.
But, it’s a new year and maybe it’s time to revitalize your life.
Maybe it’s time to inject a little life into your lethargicness.
Maybe you need someone to tell you what the preacher is about to tell the c.1 Xians in Hebrews.
They were caught off guard by the stressors that came up in their life. They had assumed that their lives would go easier b/c they love God and God loves them.
The problems stemmed from the fact that few in the government loved God. Most of their friends loved religion, not God. And the excitement of their early years of faith had worn off as more relationships were broken, more bodies were broken, and more finances and careers were broken.
They weren’t ready for the stressors b/c they had gotten a little, okay maybe a lot, fat and lazy; spiritually.
So, they needed their preacher to tell them, in the most loving and sensitive way he could, to get off your butt and start doing the things that will revitalize your spiritual life and help you manage the situation you’re in.
Last week: You can do this!
But you have to something t/b able to do it.
He just told them to cut out the bad stuff in their lives before it ambushed them and fix their eyes on Jesus.
Now what? How do we do this.
Adulting is hard and we a dynamic, revitalized relationship with Jesus to manage it. This is how to get it.
It’s a new year and it’s time to revitalize your spiritual life b/c adulting is hard.
Get Off Your Butt
Get Off Your Butt
Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.
Can I say that? Did I offend you? Sorry, not sorry. I’d rather you be a little offended if it gets you off your butt and ready for what’s coming.
Literally, that’s what this preacher is saying. You’ve got the muscles. They’re just flabby and small.
My muscles are flabby and small. Some of the rest of me is just flabby and not so small.
Again, he starts this passage out w/, “Therefore”
Tying the previous to the current passage.
Have the self-discipline to cut the bad stuff out of your life before it ambushes you.
Fix your eyes on Jesus who is beyond the stress you are experiencing right now. We run toward where we are looking.
Be open to be taught by God things that will help you when you’re in these stressful times. Teachable moments. How to fix a tire, change a battery, get your car towed to Albuquerque.
What comes w/ all that?
Character. Perseverance. Hope.
Therefore, we’re after the holidays, get off the spiritual sugar gorge. Sugar gives quick energy, then the crash!
If you’re feeling sluggish, it might mean too much sugar in your diet.
Maybe it’s time to start doing the things that bring the vitality back into your life. Walk a little more. Eat a few more vegetables.
Spiritually, the sugar comes when you hear only what you want to hear, when you’re here, if you’re here.
God has more for you than that.
Allow him to discipline you w/in the situation you’re facing. Something is broken, needs t/b fixed. And, He’s got something for you in it.
That comes in a healthy spiritual diet and exercise program.
It’s time.
There is a reason why we do the things we do the way we do them here at MPCC. This is not marketing sloganeering, but it’s a way for us to remember what’s important.
Our mission is to lead the ppl close to us closer to Christ.
We can’t lead anyone anywhere we are not already going. We can’t just point them in a right direction.
So, we need t/b moving in the right direction and invite our friends to join us.
We have 4 core values, and 1 primary means of accomplishing each value.
You will see all this in the passage this morning.
Core value #1. Maturity. Personal, spiritual growth.
The primary means of maturity is Bible study. The Bible is the source to discover the character of God. He will never act in a way contrary to his character. This is where we learn what to expect of God and what He expects of us.
The more we learn and apply, the more mature we become by taking on His character traits. More like Jesus.
Core value #2. Identity. We discover who God created us to be.
The primary means is prayer. When we converse w/ God, dialogue, speak and listen, He reveals to us what He wants each of us to do and be, based on how He has equipped us. He would never ask us to do something He hasn’t already equipped us for.
We give him the flawed ID we were born w/, and receive a new ID, His ID that is perfect for us. That makes us more like Jesus.
Core value #3. Humility. There is absolutely no justification for arrogance.
The primary means is thru serving each other. We humbly, lovingly serve and help each other get to where God is leading all of us to go. No one is beneath being served and no one is above serving.
Just like Jesus put on the servants wrap and washed his disciples’ feet.
Core value #4. Community. A community is a collection of dynamic and deep personal relationships.
The primary means is thru play. We have to have fun to break down walls and build up relationships so that when it comes time to get serious we have the relationship upon which to get things accomplished. There are no lone rangers and few mavericks in the church.
So, now, get up, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level your own paths so that those who are feeling sluggish like you can join you.
They will have their own journey w/ Jesus but they may stare by joining you on yours.
We are in this together. We need for ea other to get serious and get in better spiritual shape to handle our stressors and it will encourage everyone else to do it, too.
A healthy spiritual diet has 4 courses as I described above and you will see them all rep’d in the passage that follows.
First he says to work hard at getting 2 things done in your life. And they both require great maturity.
We need to know what God expects of us b/c this is where we have to put in the work.
Work at These
Work at These
Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.
One of the challenges we all try to figure out in our Christian lives is what is done for us and what do we have to do for ourselves.
Salvation is done for us, to us. All we have to do is believe.
Then, God does more for us.
But we have a role in our spiritual growth.
Whatever we do, we use the resources God makes available, but we have to do it. We have to use the muscles he gives us.
Here are 2 things.
Paul said it this way in Romans.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Don’t provoke divisiveness. Not in your home. Not in the community. Not on FB!
Have your convictions and opinions but only express then in a way that unites and does not divide.
Our part is to reach out to reconcile w/ whomever may have an issue us. If it’s accepted or rejected is on them. Do your part. And don’t create more issues.
The 2nd thing, Peter said this way
As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”
Be different. Not different for different sake. And not different than those of us in the room, necessarily.
There is a lot of room for uniqueness in our lives.
Be different in that you sin less. We can’t be sinless. But we can sin less.
Sinless perfection is impossible. But we can do better. God provided us a way deal w/ our imperfections.
Admit them. Apologize for them. Alter your behavior. Stop it.
Those that don’t know God, may not care. We cannot act like we don’t care when we hurt God and do damage our rel w/ Him.
Don’t live like those who don’t know.
These are things we for ourselves. Then we can help those around us do it for themselves.
This is where we serve the ppl around us and it req’s strong relationships if we’re really going t/b able help ea other.
We Help Each Other
We Help Each Other
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
See to it that no one else...
You help us. We help you.
If we’re going to do this, we’re going to throw some sparks
As iron sharpens iron,
so one person sharpens another.
Sometimes ppl need t/b reminded how much grace is req’d for God to save them. You can’t do that if you don’t know them well.
If you and I weren’t close, and I come to you to tell you about your imperfections, where you fall short of expectations, how would you receive that?
Here’s where you need to improve. Here, and here, and here.
You’d be so done w/ me. Probably would hear a thing I said.
If I need to hear that from you, then I need to hear it, but we’ve got t/b close.
We have to help ea other live by the same grace, the same amount of grace with which God saves us.
I’m not trying to talk to you or anyone else about getting saved. I’m talking to saved ppl who need God’s grace t/b saved, and who need to exercise God’s grace with the imperfect ppl around then.
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Jesus didn’t wait for you to clean up your act for Him before he performed his act for you.
He didn’t wait for you to apologize for it before He died for it and forgave you for it.
He would never expect anything of us that he hasn’t already done for us.
All God expects of us is to treat everyone we encounter the same way he treats us.
He did for everybody, everywhere, throughout history.
We only have to do w/ the ppl we encounter who do dumb stuff to hurt us.
When we fail to forgive, hold a grudge, it only wrecks us.
A grudge held for some time becomes the root of bitterness.
And a tree can only produce the fruit of its root.
You may wonder why everyone around you is angry. Who’s the common denominator?
If bitterness takes root in you, it affects everyone who comes around you. Forgive everyone just as Jesus has forgiven you.
Forgiveness is not reconciliation.
Forgiveness is unconditional. Reconciliation is very conditional.
If someone has hurt you but does not apologize nor change their ways, you don’t have to reconcile w/ them.
But if you don’t forgive them, you are only hurting yourself.
What does it mean to forgive? It means to stop plotting your revenge. Let God handle it. Give it to Him. Don’t take it back.
Trust that He will do to them exactly what needs to be done, when it needs to be done, the way it needs to be done. And, you can get on w/ your life.
Maybe I need your help to dig out that root. Maybe you need mine. We’re going to have to be close to help ea other.
We may have to put the rel on the line for the good of everyone for all of us to be as gracious w/ those that hurt us as God is w/ us.
I’m a midwesterner. I know a thing or two about maintaining a lawn w/ weeds and grass. If you don’t kill the root of the weed it will return. Pull it or spray it. But, you’ve got to kill or it comes right back and chokes out the grass.
Let’s help ea other dig out these roots.
Finally, we’ve got to help ea other surrender our old flawed ID, sac it at the cross where Jesus surrendered his life when He sac’d it for us; then we get a new ID that matches exactly what God created us to be.
Sacrifice the Urge
Sacrifice the Urge
See that no one is sexually immoral, or is godless like Esau, who for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son. Afterward, as you know, when he wanted to inherit this blessing, he was rejected. Even though he sought the blessing with tears, he could not change what he had done.
We have to help ea other b/c we all have blindspots.
No sexual immorality. How much is okay? A little bit?
We’ve got t/b aware of the things we want, things we want to have, want to do, want to wear, want to see that fall in this area.
The illustration the preacher used is of Jacob and Esau.
Esau was the firstborn son, in line to receive the special blessing from Isaac reserved for his position.
As the story goes, Jacob was not innocent in this. His name means deceiver. He lived up to that name in this situation.
But, Esau had responsibility, too.
Just b/c Jacob deceived him, it did not absolve Esau here.
No excuse just b/c your brother is a manipulative liar.
Esau wanted something. He had an urge. He had an appetite for something.
He was hungry and his brother was good cook.
He did not appreciate what was graciously his to receive. He hadn’t done anything to earn it other than being the eldest son.
But the only value he put on it was a bowl of stew.
A thing is worth what someone else will pay for it.
His birthright, his special position in his family and w/ God, was only worth a bowl of stew to him.
I’ve had some good stew. But I wouldn’t say my position w/ God is as good as her stew.
If I knew it would make God terribly unhappy for me to eat a bowl of stew, then I’d give up the stew.
If God said it would hurt him and damage our rel, if guys w/ short legs, big noses, and mustaches played golf, then what should I do?
Give up golf. I’m sure it’s hurtful to watch me play my game
Children, avert your eyes!
But that’s not fair. What’s wrong w/ playing golf? If God said don’t do it, then don’t do it.
What was wrong w/ eating bacon and pork chops before Jesus?
I don’t know, but God said don’t do it.
So, now, what won’t you sac for God? What won’t you give up?
What’s on your list?
What did God sac for you?
Jesus gave up his special position in heaven and his life for you so you could have a special relationship w/ him. What won’t you give up for Him that would cost you that rel?
The ID that we are born w/ comes w/ flaws and desires. God wired me to want this. So what’s wrong w/ me having this.
Well, if the want came w/ my flawed ID, He has something better for me.
Give up what you want, to get what He wants for you and it will be more satisfying.
We cannot be so afraid or insecure that we cannot give up who we are born as, to get who we are reborn to be.
And we may need help from ea other to be able give up the urges and appetites that hurt our rel w/ God to pursue the urges and appetites He wants us to have.
But I like that stuff.
I like sugar. I love chocolate. Chips. Pizza. Bacon cheeseburgers.
If God gave me the desire why shouldn’t I indulge?
Maybe b/c they’re making me fat and lazy. I’ve got to cut these things out and replace them w/ things that are better for me.
If I’m feeling sluggish, then I need to revitalize my life by changing a few things and I may need your help.
Adulting is hard. Let’s help ea other get up and get going so we’re ready for the next challenge.
Let’s revitalize our spiritual lives. It’s a new year. It’s time to inject some new energy into our lives.
Applications
Applications
Start?
Start?
Where do you need to start?
What’s the first step you need to take once you get yourself up off you lazy boy?
Join a bible study?
Take time every day to pray? Talk to God and listen.
Find a way to get involved in the lives of others?
Find a place to have fun w/ some ppl?
Get started.
Finish. Attrition is a real thing. Bibles always start w/ a larger group than they end w/. If you’re going to start one. Finish it, too.
Lead
Lead
We can’t share what we don’t have.
We can’t get ppl to go where we aren’t already going.
There are ppl around you who need this stuff, too.
Once you’ve started, invite someone to come w/ you. Show them how.
Who else needs to get started that you can help get them going?
New ID
New ID
What do you feel like you want but it’s from your old, flawed ID?
What urge do you need to sac? If you give up something you want, God will give you something else that will be more satisfying.
Keep an open mind and watch for it.
Who do you need to forgive? Your new ID doesn’t hold grudges.
Who are you? Who were you born to be? Who have you been reborn to be?
God will help you answer that question.
Adulting is hard and we a dynamic, revitalized relationship with Jesus to manage it. This is how to get it.
It’s a new year and it’s time to revitalize your spiritual life and the first thing you may need to do is get off you butt.
Let’s help ea other get up and get going so we’re ready for the next challenge.
Let’s revitalize our spiritual lives. It’s a new year. It’s time to inject some new energy into our lives.