Marriage Message
Notes
Transcript
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Introduction - The 12 Hour Day
Introduction - The 12 Hour Day
Introduce ourselves
Talk about how we met and spent 12 hours together.
Aaron’s dad always taught him to go after what he wants.
5 years between us - I robbed the cradle.
Blended family - I had an 8 year old daughter when we met. He was only 23.
Married within 13 mos.
Grew up on different sides of the tracks. Good boy meets recovering bad girl.
His side of the tracks:
Christian parents
Raised in church
Saved at 5
Never fell away
No sex, before marriage, no drugs, plenty of rock n roll!
Her side of the tracks :
Grew up in a broken and dysfunctional family. Dad abandoned us. Raised by single mom. No money. Times on welfare. Lived in projects at times. Moved every year. No church. No relationship with Jesus. Alcohol and drugs all around me. Has to protect myself and my mom from alcoholic boyfriend. Got pregnant at 19, got married to try to do the right thing, got divorced. Got saved at 23. Received Gods grace and began cleaning up my life and working through my past with a counselor. God and Church became a priority and I met Aaron.
Checking the Baggage
Checking the Baggage
As we learned in our premarital class and from our tests...We each brought baggage into the relationship that needed unpacked. Aaron had a carry on size and I had cart full of baggage. Both needed unpacked and that was going to take time, trust and complete exposure. Sometimes, there are things in our suitcases we don’t want the other person to see.
TALK HERE ABOUT WHAT WAS IN OUR BAGGAGE
False Expectations
False Expectations
I thought Aaron was going to fix my insecurities, fill all the emptiness, heal all the wounds and redeem everything but what I had to remember was that Jesus was my redeemer!
When we put those kind of expectations on a human being, we're setting them up to fail and setting ourselves up for disappointment.
That's exactly what was happening. I expected him to make me top priority and not have any desires outside of the relationship and he wanted to pursue some other things like hanging out with his new friend and playing softball 2-3 days a week. But what he realized through counseling was that for a period of time he had to make us his top priority to help me become more secure in our relationship and to help me to heal from my past. So, he put the baseball bat and glove down for a year or so and we built our relationship.
The Truth about Priorities
The Truth about Priorities
God first -
Spouse second
Then Children
No matter what we went through there was one thing we always did that has contributed to the success our marriage. We made God the #1 priority. That meant church every week of our lives unless traveling. That meant tithing faithfully for 23 years, even in the lean seasons. Spending time with him regularly and checking in with each other regularly about what God was speaking, praying together. Doing marriage studies together, learning about each other's personalities, learning how to love and respect one another, developing our people and conflict resolution skills.
It also meant getting around people that will challenge us in our walk with God.
And getting away from people who hindered that or our relationship with each other.
Friends who nitpicked each other.