Sermon Tone Analysis
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Raising Children is a challenge
Raising good children is a big challenge
I. Raising godly children is an incredible task
Teaching children to obey
Teaching children to show respect and honor
Protecting them from evil – wrong philosophies
Teaching them to keep their heart’s pure
The reason we lose our children is not over protection
But rather there are two ways we commonly lose them:
1.
We lose them by not setting up boundaries for them.
2. We lose them by losing their hearts.
Not having boundaries leave children without structure, with out knowing what is right, without knowing what is safe.
Then they venture wherever there will and curiosity leads them because there are no boundaries which their parents have set up and they become involved in things not intended for them.
We are very foolish to expect our children to live by the principles of Christian liberty when we as mature adults have a hard time defining it.
But what I hope to do is to talk about the second reason parents often lose their children of the fact that we have lost their hearts - and in some capacity - they either passively or openly rebel.
II.
The Goal: Keep the Heart of our Child
That should be the goal of every parent..
You never want to lose the child’s heart.
A. Some worldly and carnal ways of keeping the heart of a child
This world is trying every way it can to keep the child hearts - but the result is losing the child to the world when you use the carnal methods.
1.
To much pampering
2. To many gifts
3. To much attention
I’m not saying do not give your child attention, but be balanced.
Let them do things on their own - teach them that they can play by themselves.
4. To much praise
We have a funny thing we say with Sophia, when she feels like she does something great and starts clapping like she won super bowl, I say “Yeah, give everyone a trophy.
B. Godly ways of keeping your child’s heart
1.
You be the example
You’ve got to be the one that exemplifies godliness in your life.
You are the first and most important line for exemplifying before them
a proper relationship of husbands and wives.
a proper relationship of membership and the church
of good character
of keeping your word
of keeping God in all areas of your life
2. Love them as God does
God loves us.
But he has given us rules and commands, expectations - right and wrong.
But He is also is ready with mercy and wonderful in grace.
Luke fulfils this prophecy John the Baptist in Luke 1:17
When children see there parents as just rather than unjust, then they will more likely cease from rebellion and give their hearts to their parents
In 2 Sam 13 and 14
David lost his son, Absalom’s heart.
Abasolom killed Amnon for raping Tamar, but for two more years David never restored his son.
David lost his son, Absalom burnt the fields of Joab to get his attention.
He didn’t care if his father killed him, but he wanted to see his father.
He simply wanted a relationship with his family.
I don’t think he ever thought David was perfect.
But he wanted a real relationship.
But by
2 Sam 15:1, Absalom had become a rebel.
THEE KEY INGREDIENT TO RAISING CHILDREN IS TO GET THEIR HEARTS EARLY, KEEPING THEIR HEARTS, AND IF YOU HAVE LOST THEIR HEARTS, DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET IT BACK.
– no matter what it takes.
To Train always costs something.
A price must be paid to dedicate a child to fully to the lord
Consider
22,000 oxen 120,000 sheep is what it took to dedicate a building, what are you willing to spend, or to give up to train your child.
Whatever it costs to help your children to follow God, must be spent, to get their hearts.
- It may cost you financially
- It may cost you physically
- It may cost you in your own education
- It may cost you in your career
- But it is your calling and your responsibility in this life.
- To help a child recover themselves from rebellion, it might cost your weeks of vacation.
- It might take a radical change
- Fasting and Prayer
Parents who are not willing to pay the price will not win over their children, will not win back the heart of a rebel.
III.
Rebellion originates in the heart
Whoever has your child’s heart has control of your child.
Most children are more enamored with a cartoon character, a sports player or team, and teen star, a rock star, even CCM star than their own parents.
Look on your child’s wall and you will see who or what has his or her heart.
Do you have your child’s heart
1. Would your child rather spend time with you than almost anyone else?
2. Does your child listen respectfully when you speak?
3. Does your child have a genuine desire to please you?
4. Does it hurt him to displease you?
5. Is he loyal in your presence as well as behind your back?
6. Do you know what is going on inside your child?
Some adolescent rebellion is normal in every teenager and should be expected.
Rebellion is a sign that the child’s heart is wandering and looking for a place to put itself.
Hearts are in danger of being: Lost, Hardened, Stolen
IV.
Three big dangers of their heart
We are in danger of:
A. Losing their heart
This is the only negative command for parents to not do to the children, do not provoke them to wrath.
We need to, by God’s grace, ask for his help not to do those things that provoke our children to rebel.
Did you know that we as parents do things that provoke our children to wrath.
We need to prayerfully consider this in our lives that God would help us to not do this.
This especially applies as children grow from Junior to the teen years.
When they are young we have to work hard on setting up authority, and correction when infractions of the boundaries occur.
But now as they are older, we need to guide them and deal with them as they develop.
We need to be ready to address the needs of our children individually.
Anger crushes a child’s heart.
We often remember how we grew up, we knew about how we were yelled at, how our spirit were crushed.
We do not have the right to scream and yell, nor should we use it, because it will cause rebellion over a prolonged period of time.
One of the quickest ways to lose the child’s heart, is to yell.
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