Marriage, Divorce, and the Kingdom of God
Notes
Transcript
Welcome
Wednesday night Bible study
If you still have one of our books please turn it back in (we still have a few missing)
Pastoral Prayer
Moving into Salem’s building
Lost souls
Transformation
VALENTINE’S DAY
Does anyone happen to know how Valentine’s Day began? There are several stories and I would like to share one of those with you. In the third century, Rome had an emperor named Claudius who thought that single men made better soldiers. So, he banned his soldiers or any soldier that wanted to join his army from getting married. But there was another man by the name of Saint Valentine who lived in Rome during this time. Valentine believed in marriage so he continued to marry soldiers secretly. When the Emperor found out about it he threw Valentine in prison! Well while he was in prison, he reportedly fell in love with the prisoner’s daughter and sent her a card and signed it, “Love, your valentine”.
So why do we celebrate Valentine’s Day on February 14th? In England and France around the middle of February birds began to come together and pair up as mates. For this reason the day was looked upon as specially consecrated to lovers.
INTRODUCTION
We are going to talk about love today in the context of marriage because this subject is so pertinent to our world today. We touched on this last week when Jesus said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” When we read this, it is shocking to us because divorce is not that big of a deal today even inside the church. So many people rush to get a divorce today that we have become numb to the thought that divorce is sin. And many have even dismissed this because of the culture that we live in.
Jesus gives us just a statement about divorce in Matthew 5 but He really expands on that and gives us the reasoning for those statements in Matthew 19. So that is where we are going to be today and the title of this message is, Marriage, Divorce, and the Kingdom of God.
MESSAGE
Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?”
In those days this was just as much an issue in religious circles as it is today. And you will find people on both sides of this argument. But to be right in this we must look to what Jesus teaches and what He says considering this topic.
Men and women have been ignoring God’s plan for marriage for marriage for thousands of years. Even over the past 50 years the issue of divorce has gone from a serious sin to no sin at all. Churches are allowing divorced men to serve in leadership roles and stand behind pulpits because I have heard from pastors: “if they don’t allow divorced men to serve in these capacities then there will not be any men qualified to serve at all”. What a sad place the American church has come to.
Notice how Jesus responds
And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
Jesus completely ignores the issue of divorce (for now) and diverts their attention to what marriage truly is:
GOD’S DESIGN FOR MARRIAGE IS FOR TWO TO PERMANENTLY BECOME ONE (Creation Law)
GOD’S DESIGN FOR MARRIAGE IS FOR TWO TO PERMANENTLY BECOME ONE (Creation Law)
Does anyone know what Jesus quotes here when He says, “have you not read?” The Creation account. When God created man in the garden and then from the man he created the woman and then joined together as man and wife in a marriage covenant.
God said, “The two shall become one”. That is the purpose of marriage. It is for the man and the woman to come together and be something they could have never been on their own! When two people are joined together in marriage they are sealed forever. It is a relationship like no other relationship that can be had on earth and has the most sacred bond holding it together. All the joys that God made for a man and a woman are to be shared within this union of a man and his wife. So what Jesus is saying is they are no longer two separate people but now one flesh.
Then Jesus follows that and says, “What therefore God has joined together let not man separate”. So it is God who has joined together the man and the woman, and it is His will that they remain together.
In other words, Anything that breaks this union is not God’s will. Marriage is binding for life. This is why we say, “till death do us part”. In the good times and the bad times. In sickness and in health. Marriage takes place in the presence of many witnesses and the primary witness being God Himself. Therefore, this is not merely a legal issue printed out on paper but primarily a spiritual issue.
I have talked to several people about marriage and divorce. And what many of them struggle with is what God wants them to do when infidelity has taken place. And I point them to this verse, “What God has joined together, let not man separate”.
It is never God’s will to get a divorced! I don’t care how bad it is or how bad it hurts to be on the receiving end, how much you have been cheated on God can bring reconciliation! Now are there times when there should be legal separation? YES. And are there situations where it is a danger to remain with those people? YES. But what I am talking about is the general idea of a marriage and 99.9% of people get divorced for things that do not fall in these categories.
It does not take two willing sides to bring reconciliation to a marriage. It takes one willing man or woman and God. It takes one who will believe God’s words here and provide and opportunity for Him to do a miracle! It takes a person who willing to fight for their marriage and not give up because God can change any person’s heart! And that is what people need to hear today! There is hope even if the other spouse says its hopeless!
Divorce is not an option for us. We do not use that word in our home, it is not welcome. I don’t care how bad it gets, we will not divorce because I know God can bring reconciliation because I have experienced that!
It is never God’s will to get divorced
THE ONLY THING THAT CAN BREAK A MARRIAGE COVENANT IS SEXUAL IMMORALITY
THE ONLY THING THAT CAN BREAK A MARRIAGE COVENANT IS SEXUAL IMMORALITY
Matthew 19:7–9 (NASB95)
They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
Notice the difference in the issue of divorce in the OT. The Pharisees said that Moses commanded a divorce and Jesus corrects them and says that Moses permitted a divorce. The two words have entirely different meanings and assumptions on what God wants. The Pharisees implied that it is God’s will to get a divorce because of marital unfaithfulness, and Jesus explains that it was only permitted.
They saw marriage as a contract that could be broken and broken legally. But God has made marriage as a covenant of love and faithfulness for life. This is not dependent upon how much good or bad the other person does. A covenant is about being faithful in all times!
And then He gives them the reason divorce came about in the first place which was because of the hardness of people’s hearts. People get divorced not because it is God’s will, but because their hearts are hardened. In other words, when many people (not all) that get a divorce do not consider God’s will at all. Divorce is a self-centered decision about what they want for their lives without taking into account what God wants for their lives. Divorce is self-centered not God centered.
Argument: People say well God wants me to be happy!
Not before God wants you to be holy. Jesus said, “If your eye causes you to sin, then pluck it out, if your hand causes you to sin then cut it off”.
Application:
Sometimes God has us in difficult relationships so that in the midst of that difficulty we learn to love people even when they are not lovable. Sometimes God puts difficult people in our lives so that rubbing against them we are changed inside. And the human tendency is always to bail out on difficult situations and many times it is God’s will to stand strong and let those situations transform us.
Question: Does this mean if someone ignores this and gets divorced that they are living in perpetual adultery?
NO. This is not the unpardonable sin. It does mean that the remarriage is adulterous, and the couple should admit that and begin then to live by God’s standards. Bottom line, to divorce is never God’s will, but is permitted in certain circumstances but this should not be the first option! It should be the last option and if no other options are available.
SINGLENESS IS NOT A CURSE FROM GOD, BUT THE ABILITY TO LIVE WHOLY FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD
SINGLENESS IS NOT A CURSE FROM GOD, BUT THE ABILITY TO LIVE WHOLY FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD
The disciples said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.” But He said to them, “Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. “For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.”
Notice the disciples response to this teaching: “it is better not to marry!” In other words if we have to stay married in very difficult situations to keep from committing this sin, then it is better not to be yoked to another woman at all! And Jesus responds, “not all men can accept this statement!” In other words, MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE! It is better to never get married and stay single your whole lives than to take a chance of getting a divorce that leads to adultery! Do you know what the punishment for adultery was in the OT? Death! That is how serious of a situation this is.
Divorce is serious business and in my opinion far too many people never count these costs before getting married because they never consider the implications of what if things do not work out! People marry for lust instead of true love! People marry for convenience rather than commitment. And in most cases this leads to divorce.
One of the worst things someone can do is get married to someone that they have known for 6 months. And I have seen this over and over and over and almost every time they end up divorced. Why? Because it is impossible to truly know someone in 6 months, or 1 year, or 18 months! It takes years to truly know someone and let me tell you marriage is more about friendship than it is about lust! It is more about that person’s heart and commitment than it is about that persons looks. And if that person is not willing to wait for 1 year or two years do we really think we should think that person will be faithful for life?
Notice the illustration He uses of a eunuch. A eunuch is someone who has some kind of malformation and is unable to have children. And notice the three categories of people he gives: Those who are born that way. Those who are made that way by other men. And those who make themselves that way.
Here is the point: marriage is not for everyone! Some will naturally never find a mate and that is OK! Some have been made themselves this way for the Kingdom of God and that is OK too.
And when I read this Paul came to mind. 1 Cor 7:8 “But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
Why is it good to remain unmarried? Because they can be totally sold out for the Kingdom of God. Because they can give the things of God their total undivided attention and service until they draw their last breath. It does not mean that they will be more holy just because they are single, but that they can give more than a married man because that is their only commitment.
CONCLUSION
Marriage creates the most profound bond between two people. It is the basic cell in all society and when marriages break down society follows. It is the bedrock for children and for the next generation to learn faithfulness. And Jesus stresses that God invented it and wants to preserve it. He does not want divorce. ‘I hate divorce,’ says God. But it happens.
Divorce is permitted but if we break the ‘one man, one woman’ commitment, we break the will of God. You are not acting in the way of the kingdom.
You commit adultery if you remarry. It is not the worst thing you could do. It may even be the least of all the evils under the circumstances, but you can never bear witness by your second or subsequent union to what marriage was intended to be.
For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.
Marriage is a picture to the world of Christ and the church. It says something to the world about a true covenant of love looks like in the good times and the bad times. It says something about sacrificial love, about unequal love, and about agape love. This is a love that one GIVES himself for the good of the other, just as Christ did for us.
Take aways:
· Never rush into marriage. That is always a mistake. I have made the decision that I will not marry anyone that is living in sin or has been dating for less than one year. I have seen far too many divorces because people rush into marriage not considering its biblical implications.
· Never get a divorce. It is sin. Even if it is because of adultery, it is still a sin. It is not God’s will and anything that is not God’s will is sin. If you are divorced, take heart there is forgiveness. There is restoration. But follow these guidelines in your life now.
· If you are single know that you can do more for the Kingdom than a married person with children. And I cannot think of anything more rewarding in this life than for the complete service of God
~PRAYER~