Why We Love Kids
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> Why We Love Kids
> >>
> >>I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening
> >>when a
> >>woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was
> >>stark
> >>naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my five-year-old
> >>shout from
> >>the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
> >>--------
> >>
> >>My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me
> >>he'd
> >>dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw
> >>it in
> >>the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran
> >>to my
> >>bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said
> >>with a
> >>charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then,
> >>'cause it
> >>fell in the toilet a few days ago'."
> >>
> >>--------
> >>
> >>
> >>On the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a
> >>note from
> >>his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child
> >>are not
> >>necessarily those of his parents."
> >>
> >>--------
> >>
> >>A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar.
> >>During
> >>her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year old daughter
> >>to
> >>answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to
> >>her mother.
> >>Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right
> >>now.
> >>She's hitting the bottle."
> >>
> >>--------
> >>
> >>A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
> >>locker
> >>room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with
> >>ladies
> >>grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in
> >>amazement
> >>and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little
> >>boy
> >>before?"
> >>
> >>============================================
> >>
> >>POLICE # 1
> >>
> >>While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I
> >>was
> >>interrupted by a little girl about six years old. Looking up and
> >>down at my
> >>uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and
> >>continued
> >>writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should
> >>ask the
> >>police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well,
> >>then,"
> >>she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie
> >>my shoe?"
> >>
> >>POLICE # 2
> >>
> >>It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of
> >>the
> >>station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was
> >>barking, and
> >>I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back
> >>there?"
> >>he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me
> >>and then
> >>towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
> >>--------
> >>ELDERLY
> >>
> >>While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
> >>shut-ins,
> >>I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
> >>She was
> >>unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age,
> >>particularly the
> >>canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a
> >>pair of
> >>false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
> >>inevitable
> >>barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth
> >>fairy
> >>will never believe this!"
> >>--------
> >>
> >>DEATH
> >>
> >>While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our
> >>minister heard
> >>the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
> >>Apparently, his
> >>five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.
> >>Feeling that
> >>proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and
> >>cotton
> >>batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the
> >>deceased.
> >> The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers
> >>and with
> >>sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father
> >>always
> >>said:
> >> "Glory be unto the Faaaather. and unto the Sonnn..... and
> >>into the hole
> >>he gooooes."
> >>--------
> >>
> >>SCHOOL
> >>
> >>A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm
> >>just wasting
> >>my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and
> >>they
> >>won't let me talk!"
> >>--------
> >>
> >>BIBLE
> >>
> >>A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he
> >>fingered
> >>through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible.
> >>He
> >>picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf
> >>that
> >>had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found",
> >>the boy
> >>called out. "What have you got there, dear"? With astonishment in
> >>the
> >>young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear.