Free Yourself Part 2
Notes
Transcript
Handout
Intro:
This month we are in a new series called a new heart where we are taking a deep dive into the topic of Un-forgiveness and forgiveness. I believe that God desire for us to live free from unforgiveness, and through the power of the Holy Spirit it is possible.
Make declaration of the message: Right now in Jesus name I declare that strongholds of unforgiveness will break through the power of the word. You will no longer be bound by unforgiveness. You will be filled with peace through the Love of God. I declare healing to broken places in Jesus name.
Last week I shared with you that unforgiveness results from an emotional wound that becomes infected with feelings of bitterness, resentment, and often revenge because of a delayed response in forgiving the wrongdoer.
We also discussed the emotional, spiritual, mental, relational, and behavioral toll of unforgiveness. We took note of the check engine light on our spiritual dashboard. Our prayer was that God would help us to walk free from unforgiveness. If you missed the message you can find it on our youtube channel. I believe it will help you.
Today we are going to look at why forgiveness is not easy. Many times, people find themselves stuck, unable to let go of the offense. We will look at some obstacles that we might have to overcome to forgive.
Pray over the message: Ask for God’s mercy to recognise the offense and the obstacles to freedom.
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Submit:
Remember that last week I shared with you Jesus’ parable of the unmerciful servant, recorded in Matthew 18:21-35. In the parable, a king forgives an enormously large debt (basically one that could never be repaid) of one of his servants.
Later, however, that same servant refuses to forgive the small debt of another man. The king hears about this and rescinds his prior forgiveness. Jesus concludes by saying, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart” (Matthew 18:35).
The context of the story is that the servant who was forgiven of much is unwillingly to himself forgive others. It elevates the question:
Why do many hold so tightly onto Unforgiveness?
Some people spend years trying to forgive, yet bitterness and offense keep resurfacing. Imagine someone with clenched fists holding onto pain, determined not to let it go.
Why do people want to keep holding onto hurt?
Often people do not release hurt because there is a perceived sense of “advantage.” Even if it originates in the subconscious thoughts, we must understand that people would not hold onto hurt if it did not somehow “benefit” from it.
For example, if a person received increased social attention for an illness it might deter them from seeking treatment. Or if a person received increases sympathy and favors as a result of being hurt it might be to their advantage to remain hurt to receive continued sympathy and favors.
Let’s look a few reasons why people are unwilling to let go of unforgiveness:
Unforgiveness is Payback
When you feel hurt, unforgiveness can be your way of hurting back. This positions the hurt person as judge to decide the punishment the offender deserves. As judge you feel justified as you burn with anger allowing every thought or word like a piercing dagger to be thrust towards the person who wronged you.
Unforgiveness becomes a weapon
Punishing the offender with a cold attitude or distance, Using more overt threats, ridicule, accusations, and criticism to hurt back. Using their failure against them as ammo in order to win an argument, or to prove to them how bad they are and how good you are. The incident happened 10 years ago and I’m still holding it over your head.
This tracking and counting of wrongs makes us feel powerful as we hold the wrong doing over the offenders head.
Unforgiveness becomes a protective mechanism.
The vulnerability we feel when we are hurt can cause us to anticipate another attack. The defense mechanism says I will not be duped again. I will not be hurt like this ever again. This type of response will only reinforce the imprisonment of unforgiveness. As future decisions will now be made through the lens of vulnerability and hurt.
This morning can I remind you of a verse from Proverbs 14:12 “There is a way that seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.”
When it comes to unforgiveness the pleasure of payback, the power of giving punishment to the offender, and the sense of protection that unforgiveness brings seems right to a man. The measure of pain we have endured makes unforgiveness seem justifiable.
Ultimately Satan will look to enter through the door of unforgiveness to bring death. Death to the love that is in you, death to dreams or relationships, death to the tender compassion that God wants you to have for others.
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Apply:
I shared with you last week in the closing of my message that Unforgiveness is a sign that you have been deeply hurt so don’t dismiss it. My message again this morning is not one of get over it and act like it didn’t happen.
The reality is that the offense did happen and it does hurt, but it also needs to be addressed. Healing will only come if we allow God to get to the root of the hurt.
I have learned that the way God heals a human life is through His word. His word is truth (John17:17). Jesus said in John 8:32 “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.””
Today your freedom rest on the other side of His truth. If we will honor the truth we will walk out of unforgiveness and walk into freedom in Christ.
Jesus in the sermon on the mount in Matthew 5 gives a series of “You say, but I say statements”. This chapter reveals that many times what man says does not align with what God says. Matthew 5:43-46.
One of these areas is Matthew 5:43-46 ““You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?”
When I read this verse what I see is that offense and hurt has the potential to change my identity. Jesus reveals that the reason we are to love our enemies, bless those who curse us, do good to those that hate us, and pray for those that spitefully use and persecute us is so that we can reveal God’s nature to the world. We are to be sons of our Father. We are to carry the family name. The Gospel of the kingdom is not just about us.
The Gospel is an invitation to die to ourselves and live alive unto Christ. Our identity rest in Jesus. We are born again through the word and confession. Unforgiveness will rob us of the potential to walk as children of God. If we hate our enemy and only pray about them and not for them we will miss the point of our existence.
We are created to bring Glory to God. Unforgiveness will rob us of that possibility. Remember this morning that Jesus himself had great opportunity to have unforgiveness and bitterness.
He was wrongfully accused, beaten, scourged, and ultimately was killed as an innocent man. Yet when He hung on the cross he declared not father Im hurt and offended, but Father forgive them for they know not what they do.
Forgiveness is an outflow of the nature and Love of God. For our benefit God desires for it to become our nature too.
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Closing:
As I close this morning don’t mis-understand forgiveness.
Forgiveness does not minimize or deny your pain.
Forgiveness does not condone the offense, nor does it diminish the seriousness of the offense.
Forgiveness does not mean that the offender deserves it. Forgiveness does not necessitate forgetting.
Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation. Reconciliation might be a by-product of forgiveness, but reconciliation requires the cooperation of two people, whereas forgiveness relies entirely upon you.
Forgiveness does not forgo boundaries. For example, forgiveness does not mean that you put yourself back into a position where you can be harmed again.
Forgiveness does not mean that there are no consequences.
Forgiveness does not mean that you do not report abuses or crimes. The Bible teaches that all governing authorities are instituted by God and are to be used to carry out his peace, order, and justice.
Forgiveness is not a feeling. Forgiveness can be an emotional experience, but this is not a prerequisite for forgiveness.
Forgiveness does not necessitate trust. You are not required to trust the person who has wronged you. Trust is an earned privileged and not a demand.
Forgiveness is different to processing pain. Just because you forgave does not mean that the pain will go away instantly. However, forgiveness is a start on the road to healing.
Forgiveness is not dependent on the other person’s apology.
Choosing to forgive someone is a sign of strength. It is a sign that Christ is at work in the life of a person because when you forgive the truth is setting you free. As you process the pain through the lens of God’s word you move further down the road to full healing.
If you have areas of unforgiveness in your heart this morning would you again ask Jesus to set you free. Ask Him to reveal His word to you. I believe that the truth of His word will prepare your heart to release the offense and ultimately receive healing.
Next week we are going to look at how to forgive. I can assure you that you don’t want to miss it.
Let’s Pray!
Father speak to our hearts through your truth. Let your truth prepare our hearts to forgive.
Salvation