Sermon Tone Analysis
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Confront Carefully
Confrontation is something that happens periodically in every relationship.
It is something that is necessary, but often feels wrong.
The big issue is that If we do not confront carefully, misunderstanding, hurt, and bitterness can be the result.
Tonight we are going to talk about confronting carefully.
As we begin, go with me to 1 Samuel 1:9-18.
1 Samuel 1:9-18
This is what happens when we confront without first gathering all the necessary information.
Eli assumed she was drunk and told her off!
When we make assumptions, we make mistakes.
Hannah corrects his mistake and things get straightened out.
How much better to get the correct information, or simply ask.
Confronting before gathering information results in misunderstanding.
How often does this happen?
Every.
Single.
Time.
This situation ended well for Hannah and Eli, but we all know how horribly it could have gone.
How do we know?
Because we have been there.
There have been moments in probably all of our lives where confrontation has become necessary.
Depending on how we approached it, it either went well or horribly wrong.
Right?
Tonight we are going to learn 4 ingredients necessary for careful confrontation.
Ingredient #1…
Respond Don’t React vv.
35-38
Most of this is context.
However, context is king.
Several things to point out.
First, they are in the boat because Jesus said to be there.
Second, there is wind, big waves, and water in the boat.
Third, Jesus is sleeping through it all.
That’s the context.
In this situation, the disciples come to Jesus.
Notice carefully what they say.
“Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?”
This is an accusation.
This is an attack on the character of Jesus!
You don’t care about us!
Normally, an attack on our character causes us to respond in kind.
Has anyone else found this to be true?
How we word things is very important.
In confrontation, it is important to avoid trigger phrases.
What do I mean?
“You always”, “You never”, “You don’t care”.
Trigger phrases are words said that trigger a negative reaction in others.
These phrases are not helpful.
These phrases are not true.
The second you use an always or never phrase, the other person is thinking of times that statement isn’t true.
The result is, you’ve already lost them.
The conversation is basically over at this point.
It is so much better to use feeling words.
“Jesus, we are afraid.
The storm is really bad and it feels like you don’t care.”
Now, there is a second side to this.
No matter how someone approaches you, you control your response.
Here’s what I mean.
Jesus doesn’t negatively react to their negative emotions.
They are attacking his character!
Jesus does not respond in kind.
I would be tempted to say, what are you talking about?
You think I don’t care?!
I came here to die for you!
How dare you accuse me of not caring!
Jesus doesn’t do that.
What does Jesus do?
That’s where we are headed.
But first, some application.
How we address our spouse, friends, and children will determine how the conversation goes.
How we react even when others speak unkindly is the second determining factor.
Here is what we need to remember.
Even in confrontation, the goal is communication.
Repeat.
Confront carefully.
Even when others confront harshly, we choose to respond with grace.
4 ingredients necessary for careful confrontation.
Ingredient #1: Respond Don’t React.
Ingredient #2…
Handle The Crisis v. 39
Oftentimes confrontation is caused by crisis.
This can be either an internal crisis (think emotional or spiritual) or an external crisis (think financial or physical).
When beset by internal or external pressures we are tempted to respond negatively.
Responding with grace and faith in a crisis is a skill we learn over time.
Guess how and when we learn it.
That’s right.
We learn to respond correctly to crisis by facing crisis.
Here’s the situation, we know from the context that the disciples are facing a crisis.
Their response to the crisis is to accuse Jesus of not caring about them.
Jesus doesn’t argue with them!
This is very important, what does He do?
Jesus handles the crisis first.
If you are in a confrontation and it is being caused by a crisis, do everything you can to deal with the crisis first.
Many times dealing with the crisis will defuse the confrontation.
Now.
This is assuming that we have the first ingredient in place.
We have responded, not reacted.
If we reacted and blew up, then we now have two different crisis situations to deal with.
Don’t compound the problem.
Let’s think about some examples.
Clothes.
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