Blessing of discipline
Notes
Transcript
溫柔的挽回
Purpose: To teach believers to realize that mutual accountability and loving church discipline are a special privilege and blessing that God has given to his church to rescue his people from sin and help them to experience the freedom and joy of godly living.
Intro
Intro
挽回 is always hard. Even the eaiest of all is hard. A few months ago, one of my children get into some trouble. I know it is time I have to confront her, discipline her. I remember when I have known about it, like a lot of parents here, you heart sinks right. You are not happy. I didn’t even sleep very well that night. And then second step is what, you wonder yourself, how this has happen? Why under my watch? Am i the one at fault? What have I done wrong in my parenting? And third step, you research and study, you wonder how you approach this kid, how to confront, what to say, what to say if they react, what consequence would it be, many questions are in your head. And last step you ask for a sit down, you are nervous, you say it in a trembling voice, you are nervous about their reaction, will you damage the realtionshipship forever. I’m glad at the end of of all of that difficulty it come out great. But it was not easy at all, it requires a lot of effort.
But I can’t see this outcome with all my restoration, all the confrontation. And may I say, probably in church as a pastor, I failed more than I succeed. Relationship is messy and restoration is messy. I was watching a TV series that talks about this. Ted Lasso. One of the characters, besides the main chracter, this Higgens, a mild manner person, saw this couple having a toxic relationship, he said as a friend he need to say something. He wants to be a honest friend. But everybody in the room is a big No. All of the characters say that if you talk like that, he will hate you forever. One say confrontation made her mum didn’t talk to her for 9 months. One say it would forever tained the peace in the workplace. Although he at the end did confront, we all felt the truth and might even agree with his friends. our tendency to avoid in conflict. In our workplace, in our family, in church. We always smile, we don’t say anything. We mumbled, but we don’t directly talk to the person. And the problems grow bigger and bigger, until we cannot avoid it at all. Relationship cannot be repaired at that point.
You know, our God has something to say to us about restore, and not just any particularly conflict, but very sepcifically, sin. He commands us in Galatians 6:1-2 “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Even it is hard, even it is not easy, even it is not popular under the name of love, we still have to face conflict, and in the case of sin, gently restore. Let’s come to lord and pray:
Context:
Context:
As you know, we are going through a sermon series of conflict resolution. The last few years it has been a bit hard for the church. While we have to deal with the changes in covid, we also have to deal what our vision has causes change in the church. With four congregation trying to work together, conflicts are bound to come out. I pray that as we go through this series, all of us are equippped use God’s ways to resolve conflicts. We see them as opportunities to understand each other better, a opportunity to show our love to others, and an opportunity to grow as a church.
You could see that we don’t enter restoration, discipline light , because as you know with conflict managmenet, we use 4G to represent the four stpes. First, Glorify God. The first response of every conflict is to clairfy our highest value, applying them to how you respond to conflict and treat others when experiencing conflict. For the CHristians, it means “How can I please and honour God in this situation?” 1 Cor 10:31 Second, last week we talk about get the log out of your eye. Conflict we might think of how to fight the other side or flee from them, this G encourages to first examine our own attitudes and actions, understanding why we contributed to the conflict, and sometimes involve a thorough a humble confession. And only the then we come to this third G. Only after taking responsibility for our own contribution is followed by respectually and graciously helping others to see how they have contributed to the conflict.
Matthew chapter 18 here, gives us instruction to how to deal with brother or sister or sin against you, and in term helps us dealing in conflicts. When we look at Chapter 18 as a whole, it talks about life in the Messianic community. how we should live as servants of the Messiah. He stresses the importance of lowly people in the kingdom, to be like children. We are first to serve to lowest amongst us, we should not look down on them, we should care for them just like God who searches for this one lost sheep. Starting from verse 15, the passage we just read, talks about the other way wrong, when othere sin against us, we are to gently restore.
1. Why Restore?
1. Why Restore?
Before we get into the how, let’s looks once again the why? Because for our generation, to hear anything restore, anything discipline sounds harsh, judgemental, unloving, so against the spirit of the age. Why? We need to need to look again at the context of this passage.
The first, as we see in the passage above, is the value of one straying sheep. Look Matt 18:12-14 “What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.” Jesus moves from the parable of the Lost Sheep, which is about how God values each individual Christian, even and especially the strayed sheep, to this proclmation. The father’s concern for sinners and the Sheperd’s rescue of those who have wandered from the fold are not also to be the church’s concern. The church confronts because we value each and every sheep, even and esepcially the straying sheep. God values each of them.
The second reason for Christian confrontation is in the hope of forgiveness and family reconciliation. Matthew 18:21-22 “Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Right after this passage, Jesus talks about forgivness. The thing is all who believed in Jesus Christ, we call them brothers and sisters don’t we? And there is nothing more beautiful and joyous than a son and daughter who has wandered from hom returning home. We confront because the church wants to throw a family forgiveness party. We want to celebrate God’s forgiveness of our sins by forgiving our brother who has sinned against the family of God.
One more reason is a little laxity leads to a lot of lapsing. 1 Cor 5:6 “Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump?” The thing is that we live in a community, and a little leaven, neglected sin in the church leavens the whole lump. Let this sin go unchecked and it leads to the whole group lapsing. Our dominion hits the next. Early it says Matt 18:6 “but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.” Christians confrontation helps protect and purify the church, it helps prevent the spread of sin through the body of Christ. You get what I mean, say I don’t ask one of my kids not to clean up her mess, added 4 what would happen, it would be a waste dump.
With those three reasons, let’s go into the substance of our text. The text is not so much about why but how. How we confront, How we restore? There are three steps here:
The why?
2. The how.
2. The how.
Step 1 – Go and Gain. Go and gain
Step 1 – Go and Gain. Go and gain
Matthew 18:15 ““If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.”
What should you do when someone does something wrong? The world says, “Mind your own business,” “Live and let live,” or “Be tolerant”. But what does God says, Go and gain, go and gain. There are two things we notice. First, we notice who is confronting whom, it is brother to brothers. it is between two believers, not the church confrontation of the world. Second, notice when this CHristian confrontation. “if you brother sin against you”. It means your relationship have been damaged by some sin this brother committed. Somebody lying to you, some gossip happen behind your back, or any thing the scripture called sin, behaviour that is contrary to God’s command.
When sin occurs, we are to go in order to gain. It is not to wait, “I’m not making the first move. He has to make the first move”. It is not to sit and sulk “ I can’t believe he would do that to me”. Step one is not to give the cold shoulder. “Hey what’s wrong with you? I don’t know you tell me. What’s wrong with me? Step one is not indifference, “Let and let live. Who cares. Let begones be bygones” Step one is tit for tat: “He stole my dog, so I’m stealing his.” And step one is not gossep, “Do you know what so-and-so did to me? Can I prayer request this?” Step one is not public slander, “Welcome to CABC, Let’s begin our worship by confessing, Philip dented my car.” Rather, this step is a private conversation - you and him alone.
And this private conversation, depending on the certainty of the evidence and your relationship with the person, can be done with gentlness and/or with holy harshness. While doing this, remember, the purpose is to go with love. If not, don’t go at all. Sometimes I see brothers and sisters do this with anger and vegence and it doesn’t go well most of the time. Always talk face-to-face, don’t write an angry email. Be quick to listen, draw the other person out. Remember, we don’t know their heart, we can only see the behaviour. And at last, bring hope through the gospel. Don’t leave someone feeling condemed, show them that if in Jesus we always have forgiveness.
Apply: Dear brothers and sisterse, do go and gain, go and gain. Maybe there is something you need to go and gain after this service. Don’t delay. You might need to start with we just heard Matt 18, so let’s start. Because Bonhoffer once said, “Nothing is more cruel than the tenderness that consigns another to his sin. Nothing is more compassionate than the severe rebuke that calls a brother back from the path of sin.” (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together) We often thought rebuking is harsh, but actually it is love. I pray CABC will be a church that deals with conflicts, deals with sin head on. a church that practice Go and gain.
But what if others don’t listen to you? What if they keep on doing something you think is wrong?
Step 2 - Bring a witness. Bring a witness
Step 2 - Bring a witness. Bring a witness
Step 2 is Matthew 18:16 “But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.”
While the world says, “Tell anyone and everyone about it.” To gossip it, to publicaly shame the person. Jesus said bring a witness with you. In this passage Jesus is immensively practicaly and relaistic. Most of us when confronted get defensive. We get defensive because we are proud. Instead of melting like butter before the light of truth, we harden like clay, so Jesus’s lessons on becoming little chidlren applies as well. Humanity is needed. And such humility is helped along by bring others to hear the case.
When Jesus teaches here is based on Deuteronomy 19:15 ““A single witness shall not suffice against a person for any crime or for any wrong in connection with any offense that he has committed. Only on the evidence of two witnesses or of three witnesses shall a charge be established.” Itmay help for a few reaons, to protect against a false accusation. to help brother if he has been rightly accused, to see his sin, to add their voice of reproof. to be public witness, if the matter comes to the attention of the whole church.
Notice also here the accused brother is not treated liek a criminal. He is given time. He is walked through a careful and caring process. He is innocent until provden guilty. He is treated as an equal. Our Lord makes not mention of elders, pastor, disciple disciplining disciples.
But what if others get involved and the person still won’t change?
Step 3 -- Church censure
Step 3 -- Church censure
The world says, “we’ve done all we can, so let’s just drop it.” What does God say?
Matthew 18:17 “If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”
“If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church” A censure is an official reprimand and judgement. Here it is the church saying “ Three strikes and you’re out - you have been excommunicated from the fellowship”. Let’s be clear who is to bleam here, the unrepentant brother. He has refused to listen - “If he listens to you”, “If he does not listen…two or three witnesses.” , “If he refuses to listen even to the church”. The key word here is listen. If he still deosn’t repent,
Then treat him like some one who has betrayed the covenant and someone who does not currently beleive in the covenant. It’s not that tax collecters or Gentiles can’t become part of the church. They did and they do. But they can’t remain in their unbelief and sin. THis excommunication meant some kind of shunning, no more gatherings with them, or even have relationship with them, but the hop was held out that this severe measure would make the sinner come to his sense. As 1 Cor 5:5 “you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.” It is a prayer that shame might turn to sorrow, sorrow to repretence, and repetance to the prodigal returning home.
Objection ?
Objection ?
Coming out of verse 15-17, our Lord masterfully assumes an objection that would come in time when he was no longer physically present with his church. The objective is simply says who, when a brother and sister is excommunicated, before they leave the disciplining church and go to antoher, they will often see You’re not God, who gives you the right. And to that objection Our Lord leave his church verse
Matthew 18:18-20 “Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
These verses are not mainly about the value of prayer meeting, and indwelling presence of the risen CHrist into a building. Rather, these verses are about Jesus giving his divine authroity to forgivie sins and not forgive sins into the hands of the church. He gives the keys of kingdom not just to Peter, but to the local assembly to judge. If the local church gatheres together in the name of Christ, to judge another brother, then what those brothers decided on earth is decided in Heaven. Due to Christ’s divine authroity, only God can claim that sins on earth are forgiven in heaven, and only in God’s names are his people to gather - the church has been given the authority to forgive and excommunicate.
But all this, the ultimate purpose, is to restore. So let’s learn to restore like God restore
Apply:
When I think of the positive case is Nathan and David, isn’t it. In 2 Samuel 12, David has just committed adultary and even murder. He loved a husbands wife, and let his husband go into war and be killed. The lord sent Nathan to David. He used a story right, rich man and poor man. And both have lambs. And the poor man raised the lamb like aduaghter. But when a traveler comes, the rich man did not take his own sheep but took the lamb from the poor man. David burned with anger and say surely this man should die. Nathan then said, “You are the man, You struck down uriah the Hittite and took his wife to be your own.” David in this confrontation confessed his sin. It was not easy, but the restoration may change a person life, it definitely changes Israel’s history as it is under David’s line that today we have Jesus, that whoever sinned , when we call out to his name, we will be forgiven.
Coming out of Covid - there may be still many conflicts, or even some sins that have not address. And this work we talk today is never easy, nor popular. It rarely works out the three steps. Life is messy, Sin is messy. Conflicts are messy. But the church of Jesus Christ is supposed to act not like a business but a family. Families care enough to confront and maintain the health of relationships by holding members and accountable. And so if there are things to be discussed, things that are still in conflict, let’s deal with them positively. We want full recovery of the relationship between brothers and sisters, when we gently restore, with humility, grace and understanding. And as believers recommit to walk in rightousness and truth, we want to buil up their lives with postive attentiveness to holiness and godly living. In a way, all of this is a blessing, a blessing from God, discipline accountibility is proof of the Lord’s love for his chidlren. I pray CABC will be a church of real peace, positive conflict managmenet, that by our love people know we are different. Let pray.