12: It's All About Relationships (1 Cor 10:23-11:13)

A Beautiful Mess - a study through 1 Corinthians  •  Sermon  •  Submitted
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The Christian life is all about relationships - how we love God and how we love people - our family, our faith family, and our non-Christian friends & acquaintances. Today we are reminded how we are to interact with these precious people because…it’s all about relationships.

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We are 3/4 of the way through an ancient letter from the Apostle Paul to the Church in Corinth. This Church was a beautiful mess. They were people who Jesus died for and made holy, but some of them sure weren’t acting like it.
I saw a church sign that kind of encapsulated what the Church of Corinth was like.
It said, “WE LOVE HURTING PEOPLE” - Hmmm…does that mean (SLOW) “We LOVE HURTING PEOPLE” or {(AST) “We love hurting people.” Some from the Corinthian Church seemed to have (FAST) loved hurting people. As we have already seen in this study....
Some of the Corinthians were picking sides over which pastor they liked better (Paul, Apollos, Cephas) - as if these guys were really trying to compete rather than work together for the Kingdom.
They had people claiming Christ who were living in sexual sin while many in the church acting like that was okay, rather than confronting, correcting, and restoring them.
Some Christians in Corinth were taking other Christians to court rather than asking spiritual leaders for help to resolve the relational strain.
Many were more concerned with their own FREEDOMS than the FAITH of younger believers.
And some were even getting drunk at the Lord’s Supper, while others refused to wait on others for the meal but jumped in and got the best food first.
They were suppose to (SLOW) LOVE HURTING PEOPLE, but many of them proved to (FAST) love hurting people. And that’s SAD because...
...the Christian life is all about relationships - how we love God and how we love people - and that includes how we treat our family, our faith family, and our non-Christian friends & acquaintances. Today we are reminded how we are to interact with these precious people because…it’s all about relationships.
Paul comes back to the Corinthian quote noted back in 1 Cor 6:12.
1 Corinthians 6:12 (CSB)
“Everything is permissible for me,” but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me,” but I will not be mastered by anything.
Paul notes that while we might have the freedom to do whatever we want to do, that doesn’t mean everything we choose will be beneficial for us. In fact, living in this sort of ‘freedom’ can actually lead to slavery - slavery to sin. The follower of Jesus should not be mastered by anything except Jesus Christ.
For Christians, freedom does not mean anarchy, but responsibility.
Now Paul comes back to this same Corinthian quote and says...
1 Corinthians 10:23–24 (CSB)
“Everything is permissible,” but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible,” but not everything builds up. No one is to seek his own good, but the good of the other person.
Are we people who seek the good of others? That’s what LOVE does. That’s how we love our family, friends, and even enemies - we have their best interest in mind - and we seek their good.
We are to be known as those who build up others instead building up ourselves.
Or, are we following our culture’s claim that “I can do whatever I want…and you shouldn’t say I can’t.” - that everything is permissible.
We have already seen that some Corinthian Christians were choosing their FREEDOM even if it meant damaging a younger believer’s FAITH. Now Paul comes back to that issue.
1 Corinthians 10:25–26 (CSB)
Eat everything that is sold in the meat market, without raising questions for the sake of conscience, since the earth is the Lord’s, and all that is in it. [Ps 24:1]
I hear many Christians who act like the devil is charge of everything. And it’s true that the Scriptures DO refer to the devil as the “god of this world” (2 Cor 4:4 ESV, NAS, KJV), or better translated “god of this age” (CSB, NET, NIV, NKJV), and the “ruler of this world” (Jn 12:31, 14:30, 16:11; Eph 2:2). But..What does that mean?
Satan has authority over this evil age & those who live in worldly disobedience to the King of Creation.
But the earth does not belong to the devil - it belongs to our Creator - our One True God. All the people, animals, and plants that exist does so because the earth is the Lord’s, and all that is in it.
I am reminded of the old hymn “This is My Father’s World
This is my Father's world, And to my listening ears All nature sings, and round me rings The music of the spheres. This is my Father's world: I rest me in the thought Of rocks and trees, of skies and seas-- His hand the wonders wrought.
This is my Father's world: The birds their carols raise, The morning light, the lily white, Declare their Maker's praise. This is my Father's world: He shines in all that's fair; In the rustling grass I hear Him pass, He speaks to me everywhere.
This is my Father's world: O let me ne'er forget That though the wrong seems oft so strong, God is the Ruler yet. This is my Father's world: Why should my heart be sad? The Lord is King: let the heavens ring! God reigns; let earth be glad!
And, Paul agrees & reasons, that the earth is the Lord’s, and all that is in it, so you can eat whatever food you want - it doesn’t belong to false gods, it belongs to the One True God!
With that groundwork laid, Paul helps Christians see what should happen when a mature Christian is put in a pickle. For example...
1 Corinthians 10:27–28 (CSB)
If any of the unbelievers invites you over and you want to go, eat everything that is set before you, without raising questions for the sake of conscience. But if someone says to you, “This is food from a sacrifice,” do not eat it, out of consideration for the one who told you, and for the sake of conscience.
If someone tells you this food is from a sacrifice, then it is likely a concern for them, and even though it isn't’ a concern for you - because all food is given by God - you should not eat it out of consideration for the other person’s conscience. As we have said before, we should value our brother/sister’s FAITH over our personal FREEDOM.
Then Paul answers the questions that many might ask - WHY should MY freedom be constrained because of another person’s conscience?
1 Corinthians 10:29-30 (CSB) I do not mean your own conscience, but the other person’s. For why is my freedom judged by another person’s conscience? If I partake with thanksgiving, why am I criticized because of something for which I give thanks?
That’s a good question - why am I judged when I’m not disobeying the Scriptures, when my conscience is clear, and when I am even giving God thanks for the food or drink He has provided?
What’s the answer to THAT?
It’s all about relationships - our relationship to God, our relationships to other Christians, and our relationships to non-Christians.
1 Corinthians 10:31–11:1 (CSB)
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God. Give no offense to Jews or Greeks or the church of God, just as I also try to please everyone in everything, not seeking my own benefit, but the benefit of many, so that they may be saved. Imitate me, as I also imitate Christ.
First, our desire should be to do everything for the glory of God, in all things.
Second, our desire should be to give no offense to lost people (Jews or Greeks) - nor to fellow followers of Jesus (the church of God). Instead, we should try to please everyone in everything.
This DOESN’T mean that we dilute the truth or dodge confrontation when necessary. If this were the case, then we wouldn’t share the Gospel message at all, since it confronts people with their sin and need for a Savior. In fact, Paul’s whole point is for Christians make the maximum impact on others by being gentle, kind, servants who sacrifice their own freedoms so that others may be saved.
This is what Paul has done and what he challenges Christians to imitate.
Are YOU and I imitating Paul’s example in doing everything for the glory of God?
Are WE doing our best to be in right relationship with Christian borthers/sisters?
Are WE genuinely serving, patiently loving, and consistently sharing with others - so that they may be saved?
Now Paul shifts his focus to relationships in the home and among the Church.
1 Corinthians 11:2–3 (CSB)
Now I praise you because you remember me in everything and hold fast to the traditions just as I delivered them to you. But I want you to know that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of the woman, and God is the head of Christ.
Before we dive any deeper, I’ll chase a rabbit and speak to a current hot topic in our culture.
It’s important to note that the ancient world didn’t wrestle with our culture’s current foolish philosophy that there are more than 2 genders - hence Paul writes about MAN and WOMAN - 2 genders.
Jesus echoes Genesis that God created mankind in His image, making them male and female - 2 genders - that’s it (Mt 19:4-6; Gen 1:27, 5:1-2). The Old Testament clearly communicates that God expects His people to recognize the distinctions between men and women by not wearing the same kinds of clothing (Deut 22:5).
In this passage, Paul makes sure to clarify that Christians are to recognize the distinct differences between men and women and not blur the lines between the sexes, as we will see in a moment.
But currently, our Christ-less culture is LYING to people, telling them that there are multiple genders and you get to choose the gender that you prefer. “Preferred pronouns”
And many in our culture are buying into this lie - as this demonic deception attempts to slit the throat of TRUTH and morality.
“Lia” Thomas - formerly known as WILL THOMAS is a MAN who didn’t win nationally in the men’s division, so he began to proclaim HIMSELF as a female - and with his 6’4” frame (CNN article) - he has broken national female swimming records. And now, HE is in the running for NCAA Woman of the Year Award.
We must speak up to stop this stupidity.
Will Thomas needs to know that HE is valuable to God - he needs to know that HE isn’t a mistake. HE is a man whom God created and died for! Will Thomas has not gone too far for God’s grace, but WE can’t feed the lie that HE is a SHE - denying TRUTH and denying the God of truth.
With that said, let’s get to the heart of what Paul is writing about.
1 Corinthians 11:2–3 (CSB)
Now I praise you because you remember me in everything and hold fast to the traditions just as I delivered them to you. But I want you to know that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of the woman, and God is the head of Christ.
What’s THAT mean?
Let’s deal with the last phrase first.
God is the head of Christ. Those who follow Jesus’ teachings recognize 1 GOD in 3 PERSONS (Trinity) - God the Father, Son, & Spirit. The apostle John writes that Jesus is God with skin on Who created all things (Jn 1:1-3). Multiple passages demonstrate that Jesus is equal with the Father (Jn 5:18, 21-23, 17:5; Phil 2:5-11), yet Jesus submitted to God the Father as His head - His authority while on Earth (Jn 5:19-20, 6:38). So while the Father and Son are EQUAL, the Son modeled what a submitted life looked like - trusting God the Father as His authority head.
Craig Blomberg writes: “Part of our problem lies in our inability to see submission and equality as simultaneously possible.”
Craig Blomberg, 1 Corinthians, The NIV Application Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1994), 223.
Yet, this is exactly what Jesus demonstrates: equality under the loving submission to God the Father.
This will become important when we talk about the relationship between husbands and wives in just a moment.
So too, Christ is the head of every man - Jesus is the authority over all of us. As we’ve already seen, all that we do - even what we eat or drink - is to honor Jesus - the authoritative head of our lives. So too, what we wear, how we worship, and how we treat others is to demonstrate that Jesus is the head - the spiritual authority over our lives. And MEN - our model for manhood should be the Lord Jesus Himself.
What could God do through MEN who recognize and submit to Jesus as our head authority?
The man is the head of the woman. This does NOT mean that all men have the authority over your wife. In fact, the Greek terms for man and woman are translated as husband or wife in other passages, based on the context. In context of this passage it seems best to interpret this passage as referring to husbands and wives as well. [Craig Blomberg, 1 Corinthians, The NIV Application Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1994), 209–210.]
This makes sense in light of Paul’s other teachings like Ephesians 5:22-33.
Ephesians 5:22-23, 25 (CSB)
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church...Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her
Just as the Father and the Son are EQUAL, and just as Jesus submitted to the Father as His head authority while on Earth.
So too wives - while EQUAL to your spouses - you are to submit to your husbands because your husband is intended to be the head of your family.
Husbands, YOU are given the responsibility to be the authority who SHOULD direct, protect, and love your wives so much that you - like Jesus would give your life to protect hers. Don’t you dare tell her to submit to your authority if you refuse to submit to Jesus as your authority.
Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of the woman, and God is the head of Christ.
It’s all about relationships - Our love for Jesus should cause us to care for 1) those outside our faith (non-Christians), 2) for those inside our homes (husbands & wives), and 3) for those among our Church. And that last part - relationships among the Church - is what we will deal with for the rest of our time.
And this part is DIFFICULT…so stay with me.
1 Corinthians 11:4–6 (CSB)
Every man who prays or prophesies with something on his head dishonors his head. Every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since that is one and the same as having her head shaved. For if a woman doesn’t cover her head, she should have her hair cut off. But if it is disgraceful for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, let her head be covered.
Prophecies are never without an audience. While a person can certainly pray in private, the issue Paul addresses is about a man or woman who prays or prophecies in public - most likely during the Church gatherings.
First of all, notice that Paul points to a freedom for women that Jewish synagogues didn’t have - the ability to be full participants in religious gatherings. Women in synagogues were required to sit behind a veil and not considered full members.*
Stephen T. Um, 1 Corinthians: The Word of the Cross, ed. R. Kent Hughes, Preaching the Word (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2015), 196–197.
But Christian women are allowed to pray or prophesy in the meetings - as long as their heads are covered.
WHY cover their heads & why don’t WE practice that today?
Paul was addressing a cultural custom that was true for most of the Mediterranean world - Gentile and Jewish.
Paul was addressing a cultural custom that reinforced the biblical principle we have already seen (Eph 5:22-23) - that the husband is the head of the wife as Jesus is head over the church.
Different than our cultural customs, it was understood that a woman who didn’t cover her head while praying or prophesying in public dishonors her head - that is - she dishonors her husband or father.
So we must decide, is the head covering and everything we are about to read, a cultural custom that WE must practice OR…is there a Biblical principle that we must keep in practice.
So too, Paul writes that Christians should greet each other with a holy kiss (Rm 16:16, 1 Cor 16:20, 2 Cor 13:12, 1 Thes 5:26)…but I didn’t see ya’ll doing THAT this morning. Imagine us saying, “Today, you must kiss every person you see today on the cheek.” NOPE! That’s NOT a cultural custom for us, but it WAS for them!
However, there IS a Biblical principle that we SHOULD practice - greeting one another and caring for one another.
So too, head coverings are the cultural custom of THAT day that we don’t practice TO-DAY. I DON’T THINK that Paul would step into American culture and command us to take on the cultural custom of the Mediterranean world of head coverings, but I DO BELIEVE Paul would expect us to practice the same principle - submission to the authorities God has put into our lives.
With that in mind, let’s consider how we should put the Biblical principle into practice.
1 Corinthians 11:7–10 (CSB)
A man should not cover his head, because he is the image and glory of God. So too, woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman came from man. Neither was man created for the sake of woman, but woman for the sake of man. This is why a woman should have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels.
Paul is addressing the cultural custom but he is pointing back to the Biblical order seen from CREATION.
Paul reminds his ancient audience that man was created by God out of the dust of the ground (Gen 2:7), in the image and glory of God. Man was intended to bring glory to God. Men are to lead the family & the church - that’s the order that God has given us. A man should not cover his head because he is under the direct authority of God, and the MAN is the HEAD over his family.
Woman came from man. God did some surgery & formed woman out of man’s rib (Gen 2:21-22). God gifted man with woman to complete what man was lacking in himself - woman was created for the sake of man. Can I get a “amen” brothers!? Aren’t you grateful for God’s gift of women?
So, while Eve was to be Adam’s EQUAL, she was not to be IDENTICAL - she had a different role to play.
Man wasn’t designed to birth children; woman was.
Man was given a more muscular body structure to physically protect & provide for his family while momma was given a more tender physique and psyche to meet the physical & emotional needs for the family. Every child wants to have a Daddy to protect them and a Momma to comfort them.
Equal, but not identical - Man and woman were both created in the image of God (Gen 1:27).
Paul writes that Man is the image of glory of God - showing the incredible creation God makes for and from Himself.
Woman is the image of God and the glory of man - showing the incredible creation God makes for and from man. John F. MacArthur Jr., 1 Corinthians, MacArthur New Testament Commentary (Chicago: Moody Press, 1984), 258.
Women are to recognize God’s design for the family & the church - to live under the leadership of godly men. THIS is what the cultural custom of the head covering was - a symbol of submission to the head authority in her life (i.e. husband, father, or spiritual male leaders in the church).
This is also because of the angels - the powerful, intelligent beings who submit to their Master in heaven rather than pursue their own plans - as Satan had done. Women are to follow the example of obedient angels. (Some interpreters think this points to angels watching over the created order - guardians of God’s people who even watch people worship God - 1 Tim 5:21).
And just in case a man or woman comes to the conclusion that it’s just easier to do life without the opposite sex, Paul notes that while the roles of men and women are distinctly different, men and women were destined to be dependent upon one another. This was the plan of God from the beginning, and IS the plan of God throughout our lifetimes.
1 Corinthians 11:11–12 (CSB)
In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, and man is not independent of woman. For just as woman came from man, so man comes through woman, and all things come from God.
Ladies and gentlemen, God made us to be brothers and sisters who work together to further His kingdom as we Love God, Love People, and Develop Disciples!
In conclusion, it’s the Creator’s plan that we live in right relationship with Him and one another.
1 Corinthians 11:13–16 (CSB)
Judge for yourselves: Is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? Does not even nature itself teach you that if a man has long hair it is a disgrace to him, but that if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For her hair is given to her as a covering. If anyone wants to argue about this, we have no other custom, nor do the churches of God.
Men and women are EQUAL but not IDENTICAL. Both play important roles, but they are different roles. We are NOT to dilute the distinctions. The cultural norm in Paul’s day and for most culture since was LONG HAIR for woman and SHORT HAIR for men (the Nazarite vow taken by Samson is an exception - Judg 13:5).
MEN are to act like MEN, and WOMEN are to act like WOMEN - ALL under the authority of God. THAT is the Biblical principle that the cultural customs of that day pointed to. And that principle should be true of the church of Jesus for all people in all places at all times.
We should appreciate and celebrate the distinctions of God’s created order as we remember that...
It’s all about relationships - as we have seen today.
Our love for Jesus should cause us to care for...
those outside our faith (non-Christians)
for those inside our homes (husbands & wives), and
for those among our Church.
FEET2FAITH
Men, we need to start LEADING & SERVING our families and church. Don’t sit back and expect the women to do all the work!
Women, you need to pray for your husbands to lead and submit to their leadership. Ask them to lead. Expect them to lead. And brag on them when they do it well! And please pray for the men who help lead your church!
Church, we need to show others it’s all about relationships - relationship with God and His creation. We must communicate VALUE to
I posted an article entitled “3 Questions Every Man Should Ask Everyday” and I tweaked it to apply to every person in the room in at least 1 of these areas:
1. How can I pursue my spouse TODAY? Serve him/her. Communicate your love and appreciation for one another…EVERY DAY! Men - love you wives! Women - appreciate your husbands!
2. How can I invest in my children TODAY? Step into your child’s room and brag on them! Communicate your love and cast vision for them…EVERY DAY!
3. How can I encourage another Christian OR develop a friendship with a non-Christian who needs Jesus?
If you need to talk, please call your STAFF, DEACONS or wives.
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