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Marriage 2
Mirroring the Messiah in Marriage
Eph 5:22-31, Philippians 2:3-8
Pray
Read Eph 5:22-31
Introduction -
Marriage 2 - Loving Your Spouse Well.
How do I reflect the Gospel to my spouse?
How can I “Mirror the Messiah in my marriage”?
What your spouse needs from you most of all is for you to … Mirroring the Savior in my marriage.
In a very practically focused message today, we are going to look at what you can do as a spouse to love your spouse well.
For the married, What is a key take away for me?
For the young and unmarried, What is key that I can take into my future marriage?
-If you are not married and have plans for marriage...
What we discuss about marriage today, except for 1 point, will apply to your close Christian friendships.
The more you internalize the greatness of what Jesus has done through saving you.
-The more you let sink in what salvation has done for you, the more your are affected by the Gospel.
-It is at that point in that the grace, mercy and love found in the Gospel overflows out of your life and onto others.
But especially on to the one you are married to.
Last week we spoke about the meaning of marriage, the spiritual purpose of marriage, the covenant, and love in marriage.
That message is available online.
The question - We are going to answer to today is this.
What can I do to Mirror the Messiah in my marriage?
What can I do to be as much like Jesus to my spouse a I can?
Introduction - Hook
There is a story told of a little boy who had been taught how God created woman out of Adams rib.
One day the boy got a pain in his side and was crying out for his mom.
Mom came in the room and asked what was wrong.
The boy said, with a very serious and concerned look in his eye,
“I think I’m having a wife.”
If all you had to do too have a successful marriage was to give a rib - that would in fact be easy.
A successful marriage takes a lot of effort.
A wise pastor told me once that a successful marriage doesn’t require a 50/50 effort to make it work.
It requires 100/100 to make it work.
What can you specifically do to Mirror the Messiah to your spouse?
Today we will look at 4 gifts you can give your spouse.
Susan and I have a love hate relationship with the gifts I give her.
I love to give her cake.
She loves to eat cake, but she despises the extra calories.
She both loves and hates when I bring her cake.
Transition - The gifts God has for your to give your spouse are ...
The first and most important gift you can give your spouse is ...
Transition - The second way you can gift your spouse is with intentional communication.
Intentional Communication
Illustration
A story is told about a man and a wife who had such a terrible argument that they were giving each other the silent treatment.
2 days into the silent treatment the man realized he needed his wife’s help.
The man had a terrible habit of sleeping through alarms.
The next day he had a flight to catch for work and needed to be up by 6am.
Being too prideful to break the silence the man wrote his wife a note.
“Please wake me up at 6am.
I have a flight out of town.”
The next morning he woke up to the sun shining.
It was 9am.
He missed his flight.
Next to him he found a note on the bed.
It read, “It’s 6am.
Time to get up.”
If you are married, you’ve had communication problems.
God communicates to us well
-He gave us the book the Bible
-God has communicated to us well. 2 Peter 1:3
2 Peter 1:3 (NIV)
3 His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.
God has given you His Word to communicate with you so that you know Him & live for Him.
The Holy Spirit convicts us, guides us into truth in knowing God.
Transition - God is specific about our marriages.
(and also our friendships)
Philippians 2:4, “4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
Ephesians 5 tells men to love their wives like Christ and for women to respect their husbands.
One of the practical outworking of love, respect and commitment to your marriage (or friendships) will be a commitment to good communication.
Many times we do not communicate well because we are so focused on what is going on in our lives that we miss looking out for the interests of others.
We fail to lovingly stop and ask ourself - What does my spouse need to hear from me right now?
A spouse who is not communicated with doesn’t feel loved.
A relationship with poor communication struggles to establish trust.
It is God’s desire for your marriage to grow in communication.
There are 2 practical kinds of communication in marriage.
The administrative and the personal
The administrative is about schedules, finances and what keeps the wheels of the family turning.
-When you regularly fail to communicate the administrative - you begin to place unnecessary stress and frustration in the relationship.
-When you communicate well about the administrative you are saying, We are a team and I want our heads together.
The second kind of communication is the personal.
The personal is about relationships, thoughts, feelings, spiritual.
When you share about your relationship, your walk with God, your thoughts, and feelings you say to your spouse,
“We are a team and I want our hearts together.
Communication is so important in our walk with God we do it every day.
Jesus spoke with His Father every day.
You need to be communicating with your spouse every day.
How do I communicate with my spouse?
Answer - Intentionally
-Pick a time each day where you put down your phone and tablet.
-Give your spouse your full attention.
-Ask questions and listen.
-If you struggle sharing, pick one thing you can share from your day with your spouse.
-Intentionally take time to communicate.
If you are a talker
Talkers - Here is how you can love your spouse well.
-Ask them questions & listen.
-When there is silence wait, don’t jump in.
Give them time.
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