4. Life-Giving Correction
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Introduction
Introduction
General: I might be doing all the right things—building joy, hesed, and group identity with other believers, learning the values and truths of Scripture, and watching others live out those values as I update my mental library of Christ-like examples. And yet, there are still times when my attitudes and actions do not match my new identity in Christ—when my heart is not aligned with my new values in Jesus. What do we do then? I need someone to give me correction.
Personal: Offering correction, sharing constructive criticism, giving a rebuke, or bringing a challenge to someone is a difficult thing to do. Either we don’t offer correction at all… Or we offer correction in the wrong way.
Biblical: Proverbs 15:31 (NIV). Notice the words “life-giving correction.” Why is life-giving correction so important?
Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise.
No correction, no growth. Think of coaching… helping your kids study for a test… talking to a brother in Christ about his selfish attitude.
Unhealthy correction leads to a host of problems: toxic shame, rebellion, condemnation, despair, resentment, anger, bitterness, insecurity, rejection…
Life-giving correction can lead to conviction, repentance, spiritual growth, and character development.
Subject: What makes correction life-giving instead of life-taking? What makes a rebuke healthy instead of demoralizing?
Body
Body
Life-giving correction is offered with humility. A healthy rebuke is shared with meekness.
Exposition (Prov 15:31-33)
Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise. Those who disregard discipline despise themselves, but the one who heeds correction gains understanding. Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the Lord, and humility comes before honor.
Are these verses written to the person who is giving correction or receiving correction?
If you are going to give correction, you must be willing to receive correction. If you’re not humble enough to be rebuked, you have no business rebuking anyone else.
Illustration: The Daily Audio Bible podcast, Prov 22:10 (ESV), What if I’m the scoffer? We have to be willing to apply God’s Word to our lives before we apply it to someone else’s.
Drive out a scoffer, and strife will go out, and quarreling and abuse will cease.
Application: Questions to Check Your Heart Before Offering Correction (from Dave Wilson)
Is this the right thing to say?
Is this the right time to say it?
Is this the right way to say it?
Am I the right person to say it?
Do I have the right reason for saying it?
Life-giving correction is offered with unconditional love. A healthy rebuke is shared with love that has no contingencies.
Exposition
Our love for someone should never be contingent on them behaving the way we think they should. If we withhold love until they act the right way, our correction will never be life-giving but only life-taking.
We need to build a loving relationship before bringing correction. A huge source of conflict is when we try to speak into someone’s life when we haven’t earned the right to.
The most beautiful picture of unconditional love is the story of the Prodigal Son from Luke 15.
Illustration: When God Ran by Phillips, Craig & Dean
Almighty God, the great I Am,
Immovable Rock, omnipotent,
Powerful awesome Lord,
Victorious Warrior,
Commanding King of Kings, mighty Conqueror
And the only time,
The only time I ever saw Him run,
Was when He ran to me,
Took me in His arms,
Held my head to His chest,
And said, “My son’s come home again,”
Lifted my face,
Wiped the tears from my eyes,
With forgiveness in His voice,
He said, “Son, do you know I still love you?”
He caught me by surprise,
When God ran
After I left home I knew I'd broken His heart
I wondered then if things
Would ever be the same but one night
I remembered His love for me
And down that dusty road ahead I could see
It's the only time
The only time I ever saw Him run
Application: Without strong, healthy, relationships full of unconditional love, we can’t offer healthy, wholesome, life-giving correction.
Life-giving correction is offered without judgment. A healthy rebuke is shared without judging the person’s heart.
Exposition (Jer 17:9-10): God is the judge, not me. I cannot judge another person’s heart or motives. I can only observe their actions. I can judge another person’s actions, but I have no right to judge that person.
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? “I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.”
Illustration: “Christians can pronounce ‘that is good’ and ‘that is wrong’ but not ‘you are condemned by God.’ Jesus’s teaching shapes his people into a society for reconciliation instead of damnation.” ~ Scot McKnight
Application: The difference between a judgment and an observation…
Life-giving correction is offered without condemnation. A healthy rebuke is shared without toxic shaming.
Exposition (Rom 8:1-2)
There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.
Application
Avoid condemning statements that demoralize.
“How could you do this?”
“I’m so disgusted with you.”
“I can’t believe you would be that stupid.”
“You embarrass me.”
Make life-giving statements that affirm the value of the person.
“Remember who you are. You’re a child of God now.”
“That’s not who you are anymore. Be who you are in Christ.”
“You don’t need to go back to that—you’re better than that.”
“I love you and so does God. And he has something much better for you than this.”
Remind them of the correct attitude or action.
“We’re not the kind of people who demoralize others. We’re a family that speaks the truth in love.”
“We’re not people who cover up our mistakes. We’re people who are honest about our sin, and confess to one another.”
“We’re not selfish, self-centered people. We’re a church that considers the needs of others as more important than our own.”
“We’re not the kind of people who complain and constantly criticize. We’re a church family that is thankful, supportive, and encouraging to one another.”
Conclusion: Where are you at with God?
Conclusion: Where are you at with God?
You need to accept God’s unconditional love. “Son/Daughter, do you know I still love you?”
You need to humble yourself and admit that, yes, you are a sinner.
You’re in a good place with God, but in conflict with someone else. You need to extend forgiveness or ask forgiveness (or both).
You’re struggling with lies of condemnation. You need to reject toxic shame and allow the truth of Scripture to overcome the lies of the enemy (Rom 8:1, 31, 33-35, 37-39).
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,
What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.