The Matter of Submission
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Ephesians 5:22–24 (KJV 1900)
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
This means not only that she is to submit to him in the same way she does to the Lord but that her submission to her husband is part of her submission to the Lord.
Grant R. Osborne
John MacArthur Sermon Archive God’s Pattern for Wives, Part 1
The woman, as a result of the curse, seeks to rule and not submit. She wants control. That is the fallen woman’s tendency. And God commands again in the New Testament
John MacArthur Sermon Archive God’s Pattern for Wives, Part 1
You can add to that the terrible assault that Satan makes on the outside. And we are reminded that before we ever get out of the book of Genesis, marriage has been assaulted formidably from the outside. In 4 of Genesis is polygamy. In 9, pornography is born. In 16, adultery. In 19, homosexuality. In 34, fornication and unequal marriages. In 38, incest. In 38 also the first prostitute is mentioned. And in chapter 39 the first specific case of seduction.
The general spirit of all relationships should be submission.
The Matter of Submission:
The Matter of Submission:
Ephesians 5:22 (KJV 1900)
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
She is to follow willingly the leadership, the headship of her husband. This and this alone can minimize the curse and reverse the conflict.
Submit to what you possess. “Your own husband”.
Colossians 3:18 (KJV 1900)
18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
This is fitting, this is appropriate, this is proper, this is right before the Lord.
It is not a cultural preference, it is a spiritual command.
“Fitting,” by the way, is a word that has significance. For example, in the little letter to Philemon and verse 8 it refers to something that is legally binding.
“in the Lord” - The limits of submission.
Limit of Submission
Limit of Submission
There is a limit, by the way, to what is fitting in this role of submission. It does not mean that a woman submits to her own husband in that which dishonors God.
You remember, don’t you, in Acts how the apostles said when commanded not to preach, we must obey God and not men. If that comes to that, you have to choose to obey God.
I think of Vashti in the book of Esther, the first wife of the king. The king came to her and asked her to dance a lewd dance before a drunken crowd and she refused and rightly so, rightly so.
But in the created order and in the proper design of God, it is legally binding by the commandment of the Almighty Himself that a wife be in submission to her husband. It is fitting, Paul says, before the Lord. His leadership is given by God and she is to recognize that and in a humble spirit of loving submission come under that leadership. And again I remind you that this should be easy to do, it should be very appropriate, well understood, except for the curse, except for our sinfulness and except for the onslaught that Satan has brought against marriage to confuse these issues.
1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
1 Peter 2:13 (KJV 1900)
13 Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord’s sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme;
1 Peter 2:18 (KJV 1900)
18 Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward.
1 Peter 2:21 (KJV 1900)
21 For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:
22 Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth:
23 Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:
24 Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.
In other words, Christ suffered undeserved punishment, He suffered it without retaliation, without reviling back, He uttered no threats. He just turned Himself over to God, took His suffering and in the end it had a profoundly significant result. It redeemed souls out of the human race.
1 Peter 2:25 (KJV 1900)
25 For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls.
1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
What do you mean likewise? “As someone under the authority of government, as an employee under the authority of an employer, whether the government is good, bad or indifferent, whether the employer is good and gentle or abusive and unreasonable, in the same manner that Jesus suffered unjustly and did nothing but commit Himself to God for God to bring out of that unjust suffering a glorious end, you wives be submissive to your own husbands.” The implication here is that it really doesn’t matter what kind of husband he is.
You say, “Well, I have a husband who’s disobedient to the things of God, who’s indifferent to Jesus Christ, who’s abusive, who is not kind and loving, is not good and gentle.”
All the more reason, Peter says,
1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
“In the same way you wives be submissive to your own husbands so even if any of them are disobedient to the Word they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.”
Line up under them, all the more reason if they are not saved, if they do not obey the Word of God, some are unsaved implied there but it could also imply a person who had made a profession of faith in Christ and was not obedient to the Scripture, “All the more reason to be submissive.”
And again I remind you, as is fitting and fitting has its limits. You’re not to be submissive if he commands you to do directly that which opposes the Word of God or commands you not to do that which the Word of God does command you to do. But apart from those things for which you are under the command of God, you must submit to your husband.
2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
You have a husband who is a trial to you, either because he’s unsaved or he’s a disobedient believer, he fails to fulfill all of your hopes and expectations for what you would want as a husband. He comes short for what you hope for and maybe what you thought he was. And you are gravely disappointed. You chafe under his authoritarianism. He cares little for how you feel, it seems.
All the more reason to be submissive, all the more reason to demonstrate to him a meekness, a purity, a respectful kind of behavior, all the more reason not only to adorn the outside and please do that, we all appreciate it, but do more than that, more than putting on a pretty dress or wearing gold jewelry or doing your hair, adorn your heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God. And I might say every man’s dream.
It doesn’t mean you have to kill your personality.
It doesn’t mean you have to become a robot.
It doesn’t mean you have to become boring.
It doesn’t mean you never give your opinion.
But there needs to be deep down in your heart gentleness, quietness, that hidden part is precious in the sight of God. God prefers a woman like that.
5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
And again, that same phrase “their own husbands,” not to all men … women collectively are not under the control of all men, a wife is under control of her husband. That’s why I think it is a very serious situation when a woman goes to work and comes under the necessary control of other men … very confusing, very difficult for her.
Illustration of Submission:
Illustration of Submission:
1 Peter 3:6 (KJV 1900)
6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
John MacArthur Sermon Archive (God’s Pattern for Wives, Part 1)
As Abraham was the father of the faithful, Sarah is the mother of the submissive, she’s the prototype. Abraham is the prototype of faith, she’s the prototype of submission.
No terror, the word is literally terror at the end of verse 6, great peace, great security.
Influence of Submission:
Influence of Submission:
9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve.
14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
“Women shall be preserved, saved, delivered, any of those, through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint.”
Incredible verse. Earlier in this passage, verse 9, “Women are to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not winding all their gold and pearls through their hair to show off their wealth and wearing costly garments.” He’s talking here, by the way, about worship, 3:15, how they conduct themselves in the church. So he’s saying when you come to worship, you don’t get yourself all dolled up like you were going to a wedding or something. But you’re going to adorn yourself when you come to worship, you do so by means of good works as is fitting to women, making a claim to godliness.
And then it says, “Let a woman quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness.”
Well there it is again, the whole idea of the submissiveness of a woman. She comes, she hears the instruction with entire submissiveness. Verse 12, “I don’t allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man but to remain quiet.” In the order of the church women don’t teach, women don’t preach, they sit and listen and learn. That’s not something new, that’s because Adam was first created, then Eve and it was not Adam who was deceived but the woman being quite deceived fell into transgression.
Both because of … because of, are you ready for this, created order and because of vulnerability, a woman is not in the place of authority. She needs to be under the protection of her husband, lest she be deceived and that is God’s design originally in creating Adam first and Eve to be his helper.
You say, “Well then woman is a second-class citizen.” No, verse 15, “A woman shall be preserved from … what?… from some kind of stigma that she bears because she was deceived, she led the whole race into sin.” The conclusion is, she is … as Peter says … the weaker vessel, she needs covering and protection.
She led the race into sin when she abandoned that covering and protection, stepped out from under husband’s authority, acted independently, led the whole race into sin. When she did that she put a stigma upon womankind.
How can that stigma be removed? Here it is, verse 15, “She is preserved from that stigma through the bearing of children, if those children continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint.” Once a woman led the race into sin, the stigma that woman bears can be reversed when a woman raises a godly generation of children, that’s what he’s saying. That’s the marvelous balance.
You know, we’re the … the men are the ones giving the orders, but the women are the ones with all the influence.
They’re the ones who press those little lives to their own heart and nurse them in those early years.
They’re the ones that are there all the time, binding up their little wounds and taking them through the issues of life day in and day out. And we show up after work to oversee around the place. We develop the theology but they … they have them in their hearts.
I always laugh when I see these great athletes, and I’ve never seen one say, “Hi, Dad,” all they ever do is say, “Hi, Mom.” Great big huge monstrosities out there beheading each other, “Hi, Mom.”
In fact, we always hear this … we talk to coaches and they tell us, “You don’t recruit athletes, you recruit their mothers.” If their mother likes you, you’re in.
The woman reverses the stigma of having led the race into sin when she raises godly children. That is the marvelous, marvelous calling of a woman. The domain of her home, she’s a keeper at home, a worker at home, a lover of children, a lover of husband, submissive.
Do you really want to be an influencer?