Children of God Funny Illustrations
Illustrations • Illustration • Submitted • Presented
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Social
> Children of God
>
> A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
>
> The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
>
> The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
>
> Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
>
> The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
>
> The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
>
> The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".
>
> ****************************************
> A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom
> of children while they were drawing. She would
> occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
>
> As she got to one little girl who was working
> diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
>
> The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
>
> The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows
> what God looks like."
>
> Without missing a beat, or looking up from her
> drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
****************************************
>
> A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
>
> After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
>
> Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
>
> ****************************************
> The children had all been photographed, and the
> teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a
> copy of the group picture.
>
> "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when
> you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer,
> she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
>
> A small voice at the back of the room rang out,
> "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
>
> ****************************************************************
> A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation
> of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she
> said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood,
> as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red
> in the face."
>
> "Yes," the class said.
>
> "Then why is it that while I am standing upright
> in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into
> my feet?"
>
> A little fellow shouted,"Cause your feet ain't
> empty."
>
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> The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of
the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
> "Take only ONE. God is watching."
>
> Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
>
> A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.